


Wake Me Up Inside

by MrsCriss2012



Series: Wake Me Up Inside Trilogy [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: First Love, Friendship, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-06 23:29:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 45
Words: 145,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4240782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsCriss2012/pseuds/MrsCriss2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt Hummel is a shy, insecure fifteen year old. Blaine Anderson is a thirty one year old musician. When their worlds collide, Blaine discovers he's powerless to resist the lure of Kurt's eyes and his exquisite voice, and Kurt begins a journey of awakening. *There is a large passage of time in this story meaning no illegal happenings!*</p><p>This story is part of a three part trilogy and all are complete. I will (slowly) be uploading the entire work in the next few days</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Guess who got their drivers license!" Rachel shrieks as she flourishes a piece of paper in front of Kurt's face. 

"You are so lucky," Kurt sighs wistfully, "If I had mine I think I'd start driving and never look back."

"Only two more months," Rachel says sweetly. "Want to get coffee later? I can drive us."

"I can't, I have homework and my dad wants me home early for dinner. He has another date with Carole tonight." Kurt groans as they take their places in the choir room. 

"Do you regret setting that up?"

"Not really, it's good to see dad happy, but he's hardly ever home. I spend my evenings watching re-runs of Don't tell the Bride and perfecting my skin care regime." 

"Why don't we go after dinner then? The Lima Bean has an acoustic night." 

"Watching mediocre, middle aged guys attempting to strum the guitar and sing a recognisable tune? Thanks, but I'll pass." 

"An acoustic night sounds like fun," Mercedes says, sitting down next to him and smiling across to Rachel. "We could get a bunch of us to go." 

"Yes, oh, and Noah could bring his guitar and we could do a number!" Rachel says, stamping her feet excitedly.

"Ugh. Okay...I'll go. But we are not, under any circumstances singing." 

 

"I put us down for Something Stupid," Rachel announces as she returns with two mochas. 

"You did what? I told you Rachel, I am not singing." Kurt snaps, moving his chair so he looks out to the small stage rather than across at her. 

"What is with you lately Kurt? You're so depressed all the time. Are those jerks bothering you again? Because I'm sure Finn would..."

"No," he cuts her off quickly. "It's nothing. I'm fine. And whatever you do, don't mention anything to Finn." 

Rachel is prevented from asking anything more by the arrival of Mercedes, Tina, Mike and Sam, with Finn and Puck following shortly after. Once Santana, Brittany and Quinn have joined them the group have taken up a whole bunch of tables right near the stage and prove to be quite an intimidating presence for the first act, a folk duo who play two songs and then quickly disappear. 

"Our turn!" Rachel squeals, taking Kurt's hand and dragging him forcibly towards the microphone. His mood now mutinous, Kurt turns on his stool to look towards the door while Rachel looks out at the audience and grins brightly. "Ladies and Gentlemen, my dear friend Kurt and I would like to perform a song for you this evening, accompanied by Noah Puckerman on guitar." Launching into the first bars of the song, Kurt joins in reluctantly, not wanting to lose face in front of the large crowd now crammed into the coffee shop. The numbers have definitely swelled since the evening began, and as ever, performing to a full house soon wins Kurt over. As the song progresses, he finds himself relaxing into it, even having the presence of mind to rise from his stool and twirl Rachel under his arm during the instrumental. They finish to rapturous applause and Kurt bows with a flourish, before returning laughing to his chair. 

"Nice work," Quinn comments to the pair as Kurt opens a bottle of water. 

"Thank you," Rachel says quickly, not giving Kurt a chance to speak before she launches into a detailed description of duets she might like to try for regionals. Dismayed at the instant return to normalcy- everyone talking at once but none of it directed at him- Kurt takes a large mouthful of the iced water.

"You have a beautiful voice." 

Kurt turns, startled and finds the face of a man- the most striking man he's ever encountered- crouching down smiling at him and hovering very close to his right ear. He swallows quickly, coughing hard and blushing a furious red as he tries to gather enough air into his lungs. 

"Oh I'm sorry, are you okay? Here." The stranger offers his own bottle to Kurt, but he gesticulates wildly, shaking his head and grabbing his own drink, gulping until he feels he can breathe again without spraying water everywhere. 

"You okay?" 

"Y-y-yes. Yes. Thank you. Sorry. You just...caught me off guard." He studies him now, and swallows frantically as despite all the water, his mouth becomes suddenly dry. This is no high school student or college kid. This is a man. A man with a rough, calloused hand holding the back of Kurt's chair. A man with jet black hair, slick with gel but curls breaking free at the sides. A man with full, vibrant red lips and perfectly even teeth currently forming a smile directed at Kurt. And his eyes- oh his eyes. The color is not discernable, initially one might simply say brown. But up close, as Kurt is right now- one would be hard pressed to distinguish between gold, amber, caramel and honey as all these colors and more are represented in each beautiful, perfect iris. He seems to be almost enjoying Kurt's awkwardness, and he cringes inwardly as he imagines the stranger describing the scene as awkwardly cute to his friends and then laughing about it. Kurt also realizes that all of his own friends are now staring, watching this sudden, intimate exchange and waiting for this stranger to speak again. 

"I apologize. But I just wanted to let you know I really enjoyed your performance," he continues, as if nothing were amiss, as if Kurt wasn't really staring intently into his eyes with his mouth slightly ajar, and as if ten other teenagers weren't straining their ears to listen to the low, gravelly tones of Blaine's voice speaking to Kurt in an almost whisper. "I mean your friend can sing well, but your voice is just...exceptional in its purity- would be the best way I can describe it. I'd really like to hear you do a solo sometime." 

"I uh...I...you see...Rachel does the solos," Kurt says, embarrassed by his voice which sounds even higher than normal.

"Well maybe it's time for Rachel to give others a chance," the man says in a conspiratorial whisper, clapping Kurt on the shoulder and standing. "See you around." 

"What was that?" Mercedes hisses as soon as the stranger retreats, but Kurt does not answer. Instead he stares as the man makes his way to the stage, picks up a guitar from a nearby table and taps at the microphone. 

"Hi everyone," he starts, giving a half wave. "Some of you might already know me, but for those that don't I'm Blaine Anderson, and I'll be performing a short set for you tonight. Hope you enjoy it," he says, with an unmistakable wink in Kurt's direction. 

"Seriously, the guy is hitting on you!" Mercedes exclaims. 

"Gross, he's gotta be at least thirty," Quinn remarks. 

"Perfect guy to take Lady Hummel's V card, I'd say," Santana drawls, and it's this that makes Kurt snap his head around from where he had been watching Blaine tune his guitar. 

"What the hell Santana? I'm fifteen years old."

"So?"

"So...I'm not even thinking about that....sort of thing. And even if I was, it wouldn't be with a guy like that," Kurt settles back in his chair, clearly flustered and Rachel lays a reassuring hand on Kurt's arm. 

"Leave him alone Santana. None of us are ready for that sort of thing yet, and Kurt's right. We should be looking for guys our own age, not guys who are old enough to be married with kids." 

"Yeah...and he probably is married anyway," Kurt adds, and it's this that has Santana narrowing her eyes in suspicion. 

"You've got a crush already haven't you?"

"No."

"Yes you have. Aw....cute. Oh, and FYI, if he's straight then I'm Santa Claus." 

Kurt opens his mouth for a sassy comeback, but all words fail him as the stranger- Blaine...Blaine- starts to sing. His voice is raw, scratchy in parts and not always note perfect, but the passion, the emotion behind his singing draws people in and the room falls completely silent as everyone turns to listen. He keeps his eyes closed a lot of the time, and the rest of his face paints the effort he puts into conveying the meaning of his words. The music is hauntingly beautiful, his talented fingers work the guitar strings with practiced ease as his vocals wash over Kurt like the warmest of oceans. He allows himself to bathe in it, to become lost in the moment until all around him blurs and he is only focused on the solitary figure on the stage. 

The first two songs, Kurt doesn't know. But that doesn't stop him enjoying them, or rather, enjoying watching Blaine perform them. But then he switches to the piano, the audience laughing as he starts to sing the well known song, but in a much slower, more effective way and then Kurt's whole stomach drops and his heartbeat quickens as he feels Blaine's eyes on him when he reaches the chorus. 

"Lets go all the way tonight,   
No regrets, just love.  
We can dance until we die,  
You and I we'll be young forever.

You make me feel like I'm living a   
Teenage Dream, the way you turn me on,  
I can't sleep let's runaway and don't ever look back,  
Don't ever look back."

"Holy shit! Is this dude for real?" Puck cries loudly. "He's singing a girls song!" 

"And he sounds amazing," Sam interrupts, looking pointedly at Puck and then Kurt, emphasizing silently that Puck needs to drop it. Two pink spots have appeared high on Kurt's cheeks and he feels his palms become sweaty. Is it really possible that Blaine is singing to him? Really? A guy this good looking, who could have his pick of girls or boys, has chosen to emphasize the sexuality of this song to him, one fifteen year old Kurt Hummel? When Blaine reaches the part about skin tight jeans, hearts racing and hands being put upon people, Kurt reaches his limit and rushes to the bathroom. Splashing cold water on his face, he wills his overly enthusiastic teenaged hormones to behave as he stares at himself in the mirror. 

"What is happening here?" He murmurs to himself. "What...is...happening?" It's like the world is spinning too fast and he wants to get off. He's gay. He knows that about himself, his dad knows, his friends know. He looks at guys in magazines and feels....stirrings. Stirrings of emotion, physical and mental, that he tries his best to ignore. Urges that are sometimes compulsive and have him whimpering in shame as he changes his sheets in the middle of the night. But never, in all his fifteen years has he met another gay person- unless you count Rachel's dads and Kurt most certainly doesn't. And he's certainly never been flirted with. And that's if Blaine is indeed gay. He could have had a beer or two, Kurt reasons. He might just be one of those guys who becomes overly flirty with just about anyone when he consumes alcohol. Yes. That's it. He's a drunk flirt, Kurt forces himself to think. A drunken flirt and the joke's on him, because Kurt isn't interested at all. 

Returning from the bathroom, he quickly averts his gaze as Blaine swigs from a bottle of water, but he still subconsciously licks his lips at the sight of his Adam's apple moving in his throat. Blaine moves back to his guitar now, perching on the stool and speaking into the microphone. 

"So uh...one more from me tonight. I know, I know," he laughs as a small chorus of "ah's" rise up. "But I'll be back next week." With that he starts to play, Kurt is unfamiliar with the tune but every one of those damn lyrics hits home and for the umpteenth time that evening, Kurt finds himself struggling to breathe. 

"My life is brilliant,  
My love is pure.   
I saw an angel, of that I'm sure.  
He smiled at me on the subway, he was with another man  
But I won't lose no sleep on that  
Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful,  
You're beautiful,  
You're beautiful it's true.  
I saw your face in a crowded place  
And I don't know what to do,  
Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah he caught my eye  
As I walked on by  
He could see from my face that I was   
Flying high  
And I don't think that I'll see him again but   
We shared a moment that will last til the end.

You're beautiful  
You're beautiful  
You're beautiful   
It's true  
There must be an angel with a smile on her face  
When she thought up that I should be with you

But it's time to face the truth  
I will never be with you."

"Told you," Santana whispers in his ear as the applause dies down. "Gayer than a Liza Minelli convention." 

Kurt makes a decision. It shocks him, but it comes suddenly into his head and before he can dwell on it too much his chair is scraping on the wooden floor and his trembling legs are carrying him towards Blaine, who has his back turned packing his guitar into its case. 

"You have a beautiful voice," he says softly. He thinks maybe he imagines the way in which Blaine jolts slightly, but there's definitely no imagining the blazing smile he offers Kurt when he turns around. 

"Thank you. I'm glad you liked it." 

"That song...the last one...did you write that?"

"No," Blaine chuckles softly, "I wish. It's by James Blunt, a British guy. I just changed the she’s to he’s and the her’s to him’s. You should check out some of his stuff. He's good."

“So you are gay then?” he blurts, coloring red as he immediately regrets his words. 

“Yes,” comes Blaine’s simple reply, and he doesn’t look offended in the slightest, which spurs Kurt on. 

“That’s good then. I am too...... Gay I mean.....I’m gay.” 

"Right." Blaine smiles awkwardly, unsure of what he's supposed to say or do with that information and eventually settles on squeezing the boy's forearm gently before hoisting his guitar onto his back. "I'd better be going. See you around sometime."

"Do you know any gay people?" The words tumble quickly from Kurt's mouth, and though he immediately wishes he could retract them, or pretend like he said something else, it's clear Blaine has heard. 

"Yes," he says, laughing softly, sliding his guitar from his shoulder and setting it by his feet. "But I'm guessing you don't? You don't find many in Lima, Ohio."

"No," Kurt says blushing furiously. "I'm the only one in my school."

"That must be tough," Blaine says kindly. Looking up, Kurt sees pity. He doesn't want pity from this man though, he wants admiration, respect, wanting. That's what he wants most of all.

He wants to be wanted.

"I manage okay," he says cockily, though both see through the pretense.

"I'm sure you do. Well I really better go. See you next week?" Blaine asks out of politeness, but immediately regrets it when the young boys face lights up like a Christmas tree. 

"I'd love to," he replies breathlessly.

Blaine could stop and explain.... Crush him now by saying he only asked from politeness and not because he had an overwhelming need to see him again, but he can't do that, the kid looks fragile enough. Plus there's this nagging feeling which won't go away, that is telling him that would be a lie. So instead, he offers a small nod and a smile, before walking away.


	2. Chapter 2

To his complete confusion and bewilderment, Blaine finds himself haunted by a pair of blue eyes all week. When he closes his eyes to sleep at night, they're there. When he wakes in the morning, squinting into the gloom, they still haven't left. Sparkling with happiness and laughter which he'd seen when the boy had returned to his seat after his song, and brimming with doubt and uncertainty as he had blundered through the conversation with Blaine.

He has to hand it to him, at his age- what? Sixteen, seventeen maybe?- Blaine would have been completely incapable of talking to any adult male- gay or otherwise- much less initiating the conversation himself. But the boy- Blaine makes a mental note to inquire his name on Friday- though clearly nervous, had held his ground. It was cute in a way, and Blaine thinks to himself that he will try to talk with him a little more, though keep it formal and polite. Thinking back over the events of that evening, he realizes he may have come off as a little flirty- his natural demeanor, but one which has landed him in trouble on more than a few occasions- and that wasn't fair to the kid. For a start, he must be near double his age, and secondly, he knows what it's like to feel stirrings of hope, of possibility and then have them shot down. So Blaine won't do that, he resolves to himself as he starts his car and heads towards the coffee shop. He'll talk to the kid, be friendly but not over effusive, and eventually he'll get the message. 

But when he pushes open the door to the Lima Bean with a steely resolve, it all dissapitates as soon as he catches sight of the eyes. To his utter horror, he finds his heartbeat quicken in his chest, and yet also a feeling of complete calm settling over him, as if he's been running all week and has finally stopped to rest. Rendered completely speechless by this alarming turn of events, he walks quickly past the boy, who is busy talking with the small dark haired girl from last week, and keeps his head down, hoping he won't be drawn into conversation. 

"He's here, oh my god he's here. Rachel, what do I do? He's actually here!" Kurt squeaks, breathless with exhilaration, his cheeks immediately turning pink. He tries to act nonchalant as Blaine speeds past him with his head bowed, but can't help swivelling in his chair to watch his butt as he walks. 

"Of course he's here, he said last week to the audience that he would be," Rachel snaps, perhaps a little harshly but then she has been subjected to an entire week of Kurt mooning over the guy.

"Do I go talk to him? I mean, he specifically asked if I would come, that means he wants to see me, right?" 

"It means he wants as many fans as possible so he can sell his home produced CD's from his trunk and then drive to New York and attempt to pitch himself to large record labels who really couldn't care less." 

"Jealous, much?" Kurt snipes back. "I'm gonna go talk to him," he states, standing and looking down at her haughtily before strutting towards Blaine with a confidence that belies his nerves and inexperience. 

"Hi," he breathes, and tries to stop himself from bouncing on the balls of his feet with excitement as Blaine looks up at him from where he has been writing in a small notebook. 

"Oh...hey again," he says politely. 

"So....I came."

"So I see. Are you singing tonight?" 

"Oh...um...I doubt it. The only way I could get Rachel to come was to promise she could sing 'Don't Rain On My Parade,' and we have sectionals tomorrow, so we can't stay late- the diva that is Miss Rachel Berry wants to get home and rest her voice." 

"Sectionals?"

"We do Glee club together. Cheesy I know, but it keeps me out of trouble," he jokes lightly, though Blaine can see how much it means to him and how desperately he wants Blaine's approval. 

"Really? I used to be in Glee club too, way back when." 

"Oh wow." 

"Yeah...The uh...Dalton Academy Warblers."

"No way! We're up against them tomorrow! We go to McKinley. The Warblers are kind of our nemesis."

"Ha! Well, I'm sure I'm supposed to root for my old team, but I wish you all the luck, uh...?"

"Oh, Kurt. Kurt Hummel," he answers with a smile.

"Well good luck Kurt," he says, enjoying the way his name rolls off his tongue far more than he ought. "I'm sure you'll triumph." 

"Thanks," he says and offers a dazzling smile which Blaine returns. "I'd better...go...sit with Rachel," he continues reluctantly. "She really wasn't happy that I dragged her out."

"You could have come by yourself, I always do," Blaine comments. 

"Oh, I um....don't drive...yet. Soon," he adds hurriedly, "but not yet." 

And that's when it really hits home for Blaine. He's sitting here, chatting, laughing and possibly- okay, definitely- flirting with a kid. A kid who's not even old enough to drive. Finding a determination he didn't know he could possess, Blaine lets out a sigh and turns to face him. 

"How old are you?"

"I uh..."

"Honestly."

"Fifteen. Sixteen in two months," Kurt says quietly with his head bowed.

"Jesus Christ," Blaine mutters, cursing every deity there ever was that a kid of this age has emitted these feelings in him. "You're right," he says suddenly, perhaps a touch too loudly. "You should go back to your friend, she doesn't look happy."

"Would you like to join us maybe?" Kurt asks hopefully, then feels as if he's been punched in the gut by Blaine's response. 

"No, thanks. I'm good. I like being alone, gives me time to think before I perform. Good luck for tomorrow," he says politely, then turns back to his notebook. He holds his breath for a long time, he can sense Kurt standing over his shoulder, and can feel the hurt rolling off him in waves but he steadfastly, resolutely does not look up, and eventually he hears him sigh heavily and leave. He doesn't raise his head again, not even when Kurt's friend- whose name he can't remember- takes to the stage. 

"Hey Blaine, are you going on tonight or what?" He looks up to see Michelle, the manager of the Lima Bean staring down at him. 

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, thanks," he says, getting to his feet. 

"You look a million miles away tonight. Everything okay?" 

"Of course," he smiles tightly then makes his way to the stage. He doesn't know Michelle really, not on any personal level. He did a spot on their first acoustic night, when he was lonely, desperate and bitter- fresh from New York and with a chip on his shoulder larger than Manhattan itself. He kept coming- a musical outlet for his pain and grief was hard to come by in Lima- and eventually Michelle had asked him if he'd make it a regular thing, performing four or five songs at the end of the evening. The regular customers kept coming back to hear him, and through a couple of audience members he had picked up extra gigs at a few bars in the surrounding area. It didn't make him his living, as he would have liked, which meant he still had to work his day job, but he got to play, and people got to hear him. All in all he was fairly happy. 

Stepping onto the stage, he nods his thanks at the smattering of applause and takes his place at the microphone. Looking out, he makes sure to avoid the one table he finds himself inexplicably drawn to, and begins to play. He keeps it light this evening, a few classic numbers whose meanings aren't too heavy, and which he knows Kurt can't read anything into. Finishing with 'Rocket Man,' he utters his thanks to the assembled audience and promises he'll be back next week. It's not his best performance, he knows, but it nets him fifty dollars and for a half hour of work that can't be bad. 

He doesn't know whether to be relieved or offended when he looks up to find Kurt and his friend have gone, but as he lies in bed at night and those blue eyes just won't disappear from his mind, he hopes fervently that Kurt won't show up again. 

 

"Oh for Gods sake will you just shut up!" Kurt yells at Rachel, who immediately looks affronted and spins on her heel to walk away, but Kurt's mind is swirling in red mist and he follows her across the room. "Yes we know the choreography, yes we know the harmonies, no we won't let you down...because it's not your Glee club Rachel, it's Mr. Schue's. News Flash! We are not all here singing back up just to make you look good."

"Okay, Kurt. Calm it down a little here," Mr. Schue says gently. "I get that things aren't easy for you right now, but we're all here to..."

"You don't get anything," Kurt yells even louder, face red and contorted in rage. "None of you know anything about me, or even care, so don't pretend like you do!" 

"I know that you're bitter because some ancient guy doesn't reciprocate your feelings," Rachel bursts out suddenly, "And that you're feeling humiliated because you actually thought you might stand a chance with him."

"Shut it Rachel," Finn warns as he takes in the look on Kurt's face. It is a mixture of embarrassment and upset, indeed he can spot the telltale signs of tears brimming in his eyes as his chest rises and falls and he struggles to breathe.

"What, so you'll defend me to Rachel, but when it comes to jocks shoving me against lockers or tossing me in dumpsters, you walk on by, is that it?" Kurt spits, and now it is Finn's turn to look hurt. 

"Guys! That's enough!" Mr. Schue calls. "We're going on stage very soon, now everyone take five, cool off and then we'll regroup. Kurt, can I see you outside for a second?"

Huffing loudly, Kurt follows his teacher out into the corridor where he stares at the floor, scuffing his foot back and forth.

"This guy," Mr. Schue begins. "How old is he exactly?"

"There isn't a guy."

"Oh but there is Kurt. I overheard you all talking, Santana was teasing you about it and Quinn was rolling her eyes. I also heard you begging Rachel to go to the Lima Bean with you to see him last night."

"Quite the eavesdropper aren't you?" Kurt snarks.

"I am your teacher, Kurt. It's my job to look out for you. If some guy is hitting on you..."

"He's not hitting on me!" Kurt cries, adding softly, "that's the problem."

"Oh," and everything falls in place for Will Schuester as he watches Kurt almost curl in on himself. "Tell me about him," he says kindly. "I promise I won't judge."

"He's...well I don't really know much to be honest. He plays at the acoustic night at the Lima Bean. He was just really....I don't know. Flirty maybe? I'm not sure. And he told me he was gay...I guess I just felt as though we connected on that level. But last night we were having this really great conversation, then he asked my age and after that he seemed to shut down." Kurt feels better for having offloaded things, and leans back against the wall heavily. 

"I see. And how old is he?"

"I don't know. Thirty or so?" 

Will Schuester pauses for a moment, and thinks carefully about what to say. "Kurt....Let me ask you something. Do you see me as one of your friends, or something different?"

"You're a friend I guess, but it's different because you're my teacher."

"And I feel the same," he replies. "People think I'm strange when I say I think of you all as my friends, but I really do. But you're totally right, it is different. I couldn't confide in any of you about a lot of things, obviously because I'm your teacher, but also because you guys just wouldn't understand. And that's not your fault, you just haven't lived it yet. I can share pizza with you, talk about tv and music, share laughs with you and listen to your hopes and dreams...but I'm thirty two years old. If I told you some of the things I had to deal with during my marriage to Terri you just wouldn't know how to respond. Kurt....I get that you don't have many people you can talk to about your sexuality. Just the fact that you have managed to come out at all is an achievement. I can't pretend to understand what you are going through, but this guy obviously does. And that's great. He could be a good friend and role model to you. But don't misconstrue friendliness for something more- on either side. If he's thirty, or even anywhere close he's gonna have lived. He will know what it's like to have adult relationships, with adult issues and feelings. I mean this as kindly as possible, but he is just not going to be interested in you on any level other than friendship. As for you....I get that it's exciting to meet someone with whom you have such a big thing in common, but that doesn't mean you need to chase after him. You're only fifteen, Kurt. You'll have lots of dates, some great, some terrible. Some will lead to relationships, others not, but eventually you'll fall in love. Don't rush it Kurt."

"Okay," Kurt sighs. "Thanks," he says, and means it- he's never really had anyone speak so honestly with him before. 

"Anytime buddy. You coming back inside?"

"In a minute," he says with a small smile. 

Mr. Schue nods and steps back inside, leaving Kurt to fall back against the wall once more. 

"But he's beautiful," Kurt moans, wishing that for once he could close his eyes and not see a golden pair staring back at him. 

When a triumphant New Directions step from the stage, Kurt makes sure to seek Rachel out. 

"I was a bitch. I apologize," he says, holding his arms out to her. 

"Don't worry about it," she says, hugging him tight. "We all have our moments- people like us more than most."

"I guess," Kurt nods, "but I was out of line. You were amazing today." 

"Thank you, and so were you." Linking her arm through his, they start down the hallway together. "So, acoustic night on Friday?"


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm not so sure this was a good idea," Kurt says, trying to hide behind Rachel as they walk into the Lima Bean. 

"Oh hush. I know you feel humiliated..."

"Yeah, thanks for that."

"Hear me out. I really don't think you have anything to be ashamed of. And if you want him to think you're mature, the best way to show him is by walking back in with your head held high."

Kurt waits in line for their drinks. Looking around he sees no sign of Blaine and feels glad he will at least have a few moments to settle and prepare himself for seeing him again. It's not that he's still upset about last week's encounter, it's more that he just...needs to see him. Kurt can't explain it any better than that, to himself or others. But he knows, that despite having endured another week of torment at school, as soon as he looks into those eyes everything will be okay.

"Hey Kurt." He jumps about a foot, startled from his dreaming and turns to see Blaine standing there looking....Shy? Nervous? Kurt can't put his finger on it but it's certainly not the confident, slightly sassy Blaine he has seen the last two weeks. 

Swallowing hard, Kurt manages to squeak out a "Hi," before he blushes furiously and silently curses the fact he inherited his mom's coloring. 

"I didn't see you last week...when I finished," Blaine says softly, and Kurt hears a faint trace of disappointment in his words. 

"Yeah...sorry. I had..."

"Sectionals, I know. Congratulations, by the way."

"How did you know we won?"

"An old school friend is a teacher at Dalton. I asked him."

"Right," Kurt purses his lips, unsure of what to say and is grateful when the line moves and he gets to order. "Two nonfat mochas please and uh.... Can I get you a drink?" 

Holy shit, Blaine thinks to himself. What the hell is going on? These feelings cannot be real. And if they are then they must be fought against every step of the way. He had promised himself that if Kurt was present this evening he would nod a polite greeting and that was it. Why then, had his feet carried him to the counter? Why had he pushed past a line of disgruntled customers to get to the boy? And now he's offering to buy him a drink. Walk away Blaine. 

Walk.

Away.

"I'll take a medium drip, thanks," Blaine says, then thumps his own forehead in frustration. 

"You okay?" 

"Hmm? Yeah, yeah. Fine. So...are you singing tonight?"

"No."

"You really should," Blaine says, patting Kurt on the back in what he hopes is a friendly manner but which he immediately regrets when the small boy winces beneath his touch. "Oh my god I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Blaine asks quickly.

"Yeah, it's nothing," Kurt says stoically but Blaine can tell he's in pain from the way he massages his shoulder gingerly. 

"Here, let me get these," Blaine tries, reaching for his wallet but Kurt stops him. 

"Don't be silly. I asked." 

"Kurt...your back...."

"Is fine," he says with a forcibly bright smile. "Sit with us?"

"I should....um...yeah. Okay." 

A triumphant Kurt leads Blaine to sit at the table where Rachel stares, aghast. Blaine is careful to sit on the other side of her, and not next to Kurt, more than aware that this situation is one touch away from veering wildly out of control. 

"Hello Kurt's friend," he says brightly. 

"Rachel," she replies, voice dripping with venom at not being remembered. 

"That's the one. Sorry. I'm hopeless with names. How are you?"

"Surprised to find you sitting at my table but other than that, fine."

"Well, Kurt invited me." Blaine swallows and wonders why this girl makes him so nervous, but of course, it's because he wants Kurt to be happy, wants him to be pleased.

"You declined last week."

"I was um...busy deciding my set," Blaine replies, but it's a weak excuse.

"Really? I thought it was because you realized how creepy you were being when you found out he's only fifteen."

"Rachel!" Kurt cries, appalled at her blatant manner and disgusting insinuations.

"That's okay Kurt," Blaine says, holding up a hand and focusing his gaze solely on the angry banshee. "Rachel, age has nothing to do with it. I don't know you or Kurt at all. I make polite conversation once a week when you come to perform and watch me sing. If that makes me creepy then I'm sorry. I can't help my age. You must surely interact with other people who are older than you? Are they all creeps too?"

A clearly flustered Rachel tosses her hair over her shoulder and pushes her nose in the air. "So how old are you, anyway?"

"Rachel! You can't ask that!" 

"I turned thirty one last month."

"And are you single, or what?"

"Blaine I am so sorry...." 

"Kurt it's fine. I don’t think that’s your business," he says calmly to her.

"And you live in Lima?" Rachel persists, unperturbed. 

"Westerville."

"And this is what you do, is it? For a living I mean. You pitch up at various cafes and bars, play a little set and then try and sell CD's?"

"No," Blaine laughs. "It's what I'd like to do, but it doesn't pay well enough, and I don't have a CD. I actually write music for commercials, and fill in as a session musician when needed."

"Don't you need to be in New York or somewhere for a job like that?" Rachel asks, eyes narrowed in suspicion. 

"I uh...I was. But I moved back."

"Why?"

"I'd rather not say." He almost snaps at her but manages to pull it back at the last minute. Even so, there is such a note of finality to his words that Rachel has the presence of mind not to ask any more. Kurt sits there, completely embarrassed by his friends behavior, but on the other hand grateful that she has managed to find answers to some of the questions that have been running around his head for three weeks. He excuses himself to the bathroom, needing a break from those eyes which seem to delve into his soul even when he's not looking directly at him. 

"What's going on with Kurt?" Blaine asks as soon as he walks away. 

"He has a crush on you, I'd have thought that was obvious."

"Not that," Blaine says quickly, though something flares inside of him at those words. "I put my hand on his shoulder, not hard, and he nearly screamed in pain."

"Oh, that. He's probably been pushed into the lockers again. Those metal vents can really bruise."

"What? At school? This happens at school? He's bullied?"

"We all are to an extent, just for being in Glee. But Kurt has it the worst. He's gay, for a start, so the jocks immediately hate him because he threatens their masculinity. Plus he dresses how he wants and not how those idiots think he should, and he won't break. Whatever they throw at him- and they do, however much they hurt him, Kurt keeps his head held high."

"Except he doesn't," Blaine says simply.

"Excuse me?"

"He's broken Rachel, can't you see that? Jesus. If you're his friend as you say you are then you really need to pay more attention. The poor kid is falling apart."

"I don't like you as it is," Rachel snaps haughtily, "but if you start questioning my friendship skills, you're on dangerous ground. Kurt knows I care, but if he chooses not to speak about things, and doesn't want teachers involved, then there's not a lot I can do. Stay out of it please- it doesn't concern you. Like you said, you're here for polite conversation once a week. That's it." 

“Okay,” Blaine says amiably, but that doesn’t stop him zeroing in on Kurt as soon as Rachel takes to the stage. “What’s going on at school?”

“What?” Kurt cries, almost choking on his coffee.

“Why didn't you tell me you were being bullied?”

“What, are you my father now? What concern is it of yours?” Kurt snaps, and Blaine realizes Rachel is right about him not wanting to talk. 

“I just....I don’t know. I just don't like the thought of that happening to you, that’s all.”

“Why?”

The directness of Kurt’s question, and the inquiring eyes now focused upon him throws Blaine completely. He feels his face getting warm, and his palms become sweaty as he fumbles for his words. “Because I...Uh...Kurt...I...No. You know what? I was bullied once.”

“Oh?”

“That’s how I ended up at Dalton. I got beaten so badly that my parents refused to let me return to the school, so I moved.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s in the past,” Blaine says quietly, though Kurt thinks it’s still very much at the forefront of his memories as his eyes grow dark and he fiddles with his cup. “I was a cocky fifteen year old, I thought I was invincible. I asked another boy to the Sadie Hawkins dance, but we never got there.”

“That’s terrible.”

“I was in hospital for two months,” he says, looking up at last. “And that’s why Kurt, if you’re being physically abused...”

“I’m not being physically abused,” he cuts Blaine off, “Well, not like that anyway. It’s just name calling and a bit of pushing about, that’s all.”

“But that’s not right,” Blaine cries. “No one should have to go through that.”

“But we do, Blaine. Because this is high school. And if you stand out in high school you’re gonna get given crap. I’m in Glee club, I dance, I sing, I dress different, I sound like a girl, I’m ugly and I’m gay. Doomed.” 

“Kurt...” Blaine begins, finding to his horror that tears have welled in his eyes. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything. There’s nothing you, or anyone else can do. It’s the hand I’ve been dealt and I’ll put up with it until I can leave this hell hole and move to New York. You’re here to make polite conversation, remember?” he snaps, and Blaine’s eyes widen at the cutting remark. 

“Kurt..”

“Hey!” Kurt says brightly as Rachel throws herself into her seat. “Great performance.”

“Like you’d know. You didn’t even look up,” she huffs. 

Sensing it’s best to make his escape, Blaine feigns an excuse of needing to prepare, and moves to sit on the edge of the stage until it’s time for his performance. Once again he knows he doesn’t do himself justice, and his heart sinks as he watches Kurt and Rachel walk out midway through his set, though Kurt does at least offer a small wave as he leaves. 

He heads home to his dark, lonely house, grabs a beer from the fridge and attempts to focus on the television. An hour later and he can’t settle at all. Picking up the phone, he dials the familiar number and waits. 

“Baby Bro!”

“Hey Cooper,” the melancholy in his voice is clear, and Blaine hears a door shutting behind him before all falls silent. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Is this a bad time?”

“No, s’okay. The twins are just playing up that’s all, but it’s bed time- they’re always savage at bedtime.”

“I can call again.”

“No. Something’s wrong, I can tell.”

“I think I’m in trouble,” he says and then sighs heavily and lets his head fall against the back of the couch. 

“What have you done?”

“Nothing and something, all at once.”

“Try me.”

“I met a guy...boy. I met a boy at an acoustic night I play at.”

“Go on...” Cooper says warily. 

“He’s...shit. You’re gonna hate me, but I have to talk this through with someone. He’s incredible,” he whispers into the phone, gulping back tears as he speaks. “He’s sassy, and smart, and funny. He can sing amazingly and he has these eyes...these eyes like I’ve never seen and I..”

“How old is he Blaine?”

“Cooper...”

“How old?”

“Fifteen.”

“Fifteen!” Cooper yells. “Jesus fucking christ Blaine, I thought you were going to say eighteen or something. Holy fuck, are you insane? Stay the hell away!”

“Cooper, please,” Blaine begs, tears flowing freely now. “Hear me out. I haven’t acted on anything, I am well aware how wrong this all is. I’ve only seen him at the coffee shop. But tonight I found out he’s being bullied at school. Badly bullied. And I thought...”

“You thought what? You’d ask him out to make him feel better?” his brother thunders down the phone. 

“No! I wanted to give him my number if he needed to talk.”

“You didn't? Please, tell me you didn't?”

“No. I didn’t.”

“Blaine...I have to ask...are you...physically attracted to him?”

“Not...in that sense. I don’t look at him and want to do stuff with him- not like I would with a man in a club or something, no. But he just has this presence, and we seem to share this connection....”

“Does he like you?”

“Yes,” he groans.

“Stay away Blaine. I mean it. If there’s a connection or whatever then fine, that could still be there when he’s eighteen and finished high school. But fifteen? He’s probably not even finished growing yet. He’s a kid Blaine. A little kid. The twins will be that age in five years. How would you feel if a guy of thirty started hitting on Maddie?”

“I’d kill him.”

“Exactly. You know, don't you Blaine, how wrong this is?”

“Yes,” he whispers, voice full of shame. “I don’t usually have feelings for kids that age.”

“I know,” Cooper says, voice full of sympathy. “And I also know you’re gonna beat yourself up over this, but don’t. Just...go get drunk with Wes. Go to Scandals and pick up a random, I don’t know, but take your mind off it somehow.” 

“You’re right,” Blaine says decisively. “I’ll call Wes. I haven’t seen him in a while anyway.”

“Okay.” Cooper says, and Blaine hears the sound of the battling twins and their exasperated mom growing louder. 

“I’ll let you go. Thanks for the talk.”

“Anytime Blaine. And call me, yeah? Let me know how things go.”

“I will.”

 

“Hey Hummel!” Santana calls across the choir room. “Want Puck to score you a fake ID? There’s a new club in Columbus, we thought we’d go tomorrow night before they crack down on ID.”

“No thank you,” Kurt says quietly as he takes his place alongside Rachel. “I’m going to the Lima Bean tonight and my dad won’t like me being out two nights in a row.”

“The Lima Bean again?” Mercedes asks. “That’s like the sixth time in as many weeks.”

“Kurt likes it there and I get to perform,” Rachel says as she tosses her hair. 

“Maybe I’ll come and perform as well,” Mercedes says with a sassy wink at Kurt who smiles softly. 

“Sure.”

“Hey, you okay? You seem down.”

“Because he knows he’s got another Friday night of his crush only giving him a passing nod, that’s why.” Rachel says. 

“You still after that old guy?” Santana interrupts. 

“No.”

“Yes,” Rachel corrects. “Don’t lie about it Kurt. Anyway, the guy’s a jerk. A few weeks ago, he sat with us, drinking coffee and pretending to be interested, the last two weeks he’s barely acknowledged our presence. But Kurt is insisting on going.”

“I’m coming too,” Santana says decisively, and Kurt hears various others agreeing as he stares at the floor and wills himself not to cry. Humiliation is a hard cross to bear. Added to the endless torment and abuse he gets during his school day, Kurt feels as if he really can’t take anymore. He wondered about not going tonight, but in the back of his mind he worries that if he misses out, it might be the week Blaine decides to speak to him again, and he’d never know.

 

“Ask for his number,” Santana says boldly, catching Kurt staring as Blaine walks by. “What's the worst that could happen?”

“He could say no!” Kurt cries, a look of anguish on his face. “He’s thirty one.”

“And you’re nearly sixteen, which to my knowledge, is the age of legal consent in Ohio.”

“This isn’t about....that,” Kurt says hotly, unable to utter the word ‘sex.’ “I just...thought we could be friends, you know? We had a lot in common.”

“So...when he leaves, follow him out and ask for his number,” Santana urges. “Go for it Hummel.”

He stares- as he always does- throughout Blaine’s set, tears springing to his eyes as he finishes on piano with a beautiful version of Aerosmith’s ‘Don’t wanna miss a thing.’ Watching carefully, Santana elbows him in the ribs as Blaine leaves the coffee shop, and ignoring the disapproving looks from Rachel, Mercedes and Quinn, Kurt follows him out into the lot. 

“Blaine!” he cries, running to where he has stopped next to a black Prius. 

“Oh...hey Kurt,” Blaine replies, looking around him wildly as if searching for an escape. 

“You haven’t spoken to me in a while,” Kurt says with a nervous smile, and Blaine finds himself floored by the boy’s directness once again. 

“I’m sorry Kurt. I’ve been....busy?” he offers. 

“So I was wondering...” Kurt starts, then taking a deep breath he blurts, “I-i-if I could get your number maybe? Or give you mine? I don’t know,” he releases his breath and waits, expectantly. 

“Oh Kurt...I can’t do that. I’m sorry.” Blaine says, a pained expression painting itself on his face. 

“What? But why?” he asks, shoulders slumping in dismay. 

“How do I put this without sounding patronizing? Because it would be inappropriate of me to pursue this,” he says, gesturing between them. “On a friendship level or otherwise. I mean this in the nicest possible way Kurt, but I know the feelings you have for me. You’re very sweet, and I’m flattered, but you’re just a kid. A kid with a crush. If I encourage a friendship it wouldn’t be fair to either one of us. I’m sorry Kurt,” he says with a gentle touch to his forearm. 

Kurt stays standing in the parking lot, watching as Blaine drives away, not noticing how cold he is until he feels Rachel drape his jacket over his shoulders. 

“Santana?” he says quietly, and she appears by his side. 

“Yes?”

“Get me a fake ID.”


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt doesn’t see the tears making their way down Blaine’s cheeks as he drives home. He doesn’t hear the shout of frustration as he kicks the front door shut, or hear the thud as Blaine falls to the floor against it, staying there until he can cry no more before he staggers blindly to the liquor cabinet in search of whiskey. 

At some point, Blaine can’t remember when- but long after he’d given up on using a glass and had started swigging right from the bottle- he calls Wes. Slurring his words beyond all comprehension, Wes manages to catch the words ‘boy’ ‘cry’ and ‘want’ before he climbs in his car and makes the half hour drive to see his friend. It is gone midnight when he arrives, and one look at Blaine’s tear streaked face tells him he’s going to be in for the long haul. 

Dawn sees Blaine finally passing out or falling asleep- Wes isn’t quite sure which- but he throws a blanket over him before heading upstairs to claim Blaine’s bed for his own. When he reappears it is gone noon, and Blaine is sitting up, clutching his head gingerly before running to the bathroom to empty the contents of his stomach. 

“You know, when you’re crushing on a school kid, it’s probably not the best idea to call a teacher,” Wes states as he hands Blaine a bottle of water. 

“I’m not....I....actually, I don’t know what I’m doing,” Blaine groans as he hauls himself up from the bathroom floor and pads back to the living room. 

“That much was obvious last night. You’re a mess. Wanna talk about it?”

“I thought we did?” Blaine tries to think back, but all is a hazy blur. 

“No...you cried- actually- more like wailed, about a boy named Kurt for several hours, told me he was being bullied and you wanted to kill all jocks, told me how much you hate yourself, told me how much you hated me for taking the whiskey away, and then passed out. I was suggesting we have a mature discussion about this.”

“Oh.” Blaine plunges his head into his hands as he struggles to think. “I just don’t know what this is,” he says eventually, looking up and running a hand over his weary face. 

“Last night you kept saying about his eyes.”

“Yes! His eyes are just...amazing. And that’s a lame adjective but I’m hungover to shit. He looks at me and it’s like...like I can see his soul laid bare. But not for anyone else- for me. And my stomach flips and my heart starts to race and then I remind myself that this shouldn't be happening- cannot be happening and then I get like this and then the cycle starts all over again.” 

Letting out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, Blaine falls back on the couch and watches his friend try and make sense of his frenzied words. 

“And this...connection...that you kept on about last night. Do you feel this on a physical level, a mental level, or what?” 

“Not physical,” Blaine is quick to reply. “I will say he is beautiful, and I know that by the time he’s seventeen he’s gonna be turning all the guys heads- including mine if I still know him. But right now...no. The thought of ever doing anything like that...no.” 

"So that's a positive," Wes urges as he perches on the coffee table and looks into Blaine's eyes. "Tell me why it is exactly that you're so cut up about all this?"

"Because I feel as if it's wrong. And I'm not that kind of guy. I'm not perverted, or that other word that I won't even say. But what makes me most sad is that I felt this connection, like we could be two halves of a whole, and I've never felt that way about anyone before. I genuinely enjoyed talking with him. Maybe I was overly flirty, but you know me. I just...there's so much more I want to know about him. What music does he like? What's his favorite movie? Favorite food? Just mundane, everyday stuff but I want to know it all. Plus, you know, the whole bullying thing....he's hurting so bad. And his friend said he won't talk to anyone about it but I want to be there, to help him, to let him know that he will come out the other side, and that those jerks will get their comeuppance."

"I remember the fifteen year old you very well," Wes muses, "because that was the year you transferred to Dalton. And I saw pretty much what you're describing now. A frightened, lonely kid who put on a facade in the hope no one would know how much he was hurting. Maybe you feel this connection to him because you see yourself in those eyes?" 

"It's plausible I guess. I think I want to help him the way no one helped me. It took an eight hour operation to insert a metal plate into my head for my parents to realize how bad the bullying was. I don't want that for him." 

"Blaine, if he had told you he was seventeen, would you have asked him out on a date?"

"No!" Blaine laughs to himself. 

"Why?" 

"Because I'd be frightened he'd say no, and I'm just not there yet. I'm not ready to date again." 

"Which is a good thing. You know, my nephew is fifteen. I take him and his friends to the game, out for pizza. I really enjoy hanging out with them, they're a great bunch of kids and we have fun. It doesn't matter how old they are, or how old I am, we have a lot in common and my sister sure as hell doesn't want to spend her Saturday standing watching football. Why can't you do that with this kid? Be friends, spend time together, see where life takes you. If you were sitting here telling me you wanted him in your bed I admit I'd be.... I don't know, disappointed and alarmed I guess. But you're not. You're saying you want to get to know him, and I don't think there's any harm in that. In a year he'll be nearly seventeen, and you might be ready to date again.”

“Wouldn’t you think it strange, if I start hanging out with him?”

“Not necessarily, but then I teach kids that age, and I can honestly say I find them infinitely preferable to most adults a lot of the time. We need friends our own age, of course we do, but it’s good to just kick back and have fun every now and then. I think that if you did that with...”

“Kurt,” Blaine offers.

“Kurt, Right. If you two did that, then it would probably benefit you both enormously. He gains a much needed support and confidant, and you learn how to let go and have fun again. You’ve spent two years walking around with the weight of the world on your shoulders, it's time to let go.” 

“You’re right,” Blaine sighs and offers a small smile. “I guess he’ll be there next Friday. I’ll talk to him.”

“I’m always right. One thing though. If you’re gonna ask him to get coffee or see a movie, whatever, you need to make it very clear to him that this is strictly platonic. I know you don’t like being forceful, but you have to be if this is to work, okay?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Let’s get coffee. Pizza and movie tonight?”

“I can’t. I have a gig in Columbus.”

“I’ll come with you then, I haven’t watched you perform in ages.”

 

“Just hold still!” Kurt cries in frustration as he attempts to pin Tina’s hair. 

“I can’t help it, you’re digging the pins into my head, Kurt. My actual head.”

“I’ll dig them somewhere else in a minute. There,” he says, admiring his handiwork with a smile, “Done.”

They’ve been at Santana’s house since mid afternoon, taking their time to plan outfits and perfect the girl’s hair and makeup, and Kurt has to admit to enjoying himself immensely. The absence of the sometimes insufferable Rachel and Mercedes has allowed him to breathe, and he also welcomes the break in discussing the events of the previous evening, which still hurt like a punch to the gut whenever he thinks of them. 

“So Lady...er...Kurt,” Santana corrects herself after Kurt’s earlier tirade about how much he hated the nickname. “We need to find you a super cute guy tonight.”

“No we don’t, Santana.” he sighs with exasperation. “I’m not looking for that. Besides, we’re not going to a gay club.”

“Doesn’t mean there won’t be gay people going,” she counters. “You are. And you need someone to get over guitar guy.”

“Blaine. His name is Blaine, and I don’t need to get over him at all thank you very much,” he snaps. “I’m not looking to hook up with someone I don’t know in a club. I need more than that. There has to be a spark, a connection.”

“Like you thought you had with Blaine,” Tina offers. 

“Yes,” he agrees sadly, 

“What is it about him anyway?” Santana asks curiously. 

“His eyes,” comes Kurt’s instant response. “When I look into his eyes...it feels like I’m coming home. As if nothing matters at all, because he’s got me, and I’m safe.”

Brittany sits crossed legged on the bed, looking between Tina and Santana, who both look completely bewildered. 

“I said too much,” Kurt whispers into the silence, and in a strange turn of events, Santana is quick to reassure him. 

“No, no you didn’t. I just...didn’t realize how you felt about him, that’s all. I thought you just wanted to get in his pants.”

“No. I mean...I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about kissing him, because I have. More than once. But anything else...I’m just not there. Well, I’m not even at the kissing stage am I? He wouldn’t give me his number.”

“I think he wanted to,” Santana says thoughtfully. “I think he just felt like he couldn’t.”

“Either way, I have to get over it. I’m not going back to acoustic night, I can’t.”

“So let’s go out and have fun,” Tina says, pulling him into a hug. “We can dance the night away and not worry about any dumb guys at all.”

Santana pitches in with a reassuring hand on Kurt's leg. “Relax. Finn’s taking Rachel to a movie or some such crap so we don't have to put up with her. Quinn should be here soon and then we can go. You look fierce by the way Kurt.”

“Thank you....I think,” he says self consciously smoothing his hands over his ridiculously tight jeans. 

“Can I do your hair?” Brittany asks, and a half hour later, with his hair coiffed and guyliner emphasising those baby blues, they're on their way. 

 

“Oh fuck!” Kurt exclaims, and Santana almost drops her drink in surprise at hearing Kurt swear. 

“What?” she asks, and following Kurt’s line of sight, she notices immediately. Climbing onto the stage and taking his place behind the microphone, is the unmistakable figure of Blaine. 

“So we’ll hang back here,” she says nonchalantly. “He won’t be able to see you with the lights on him anyway.”

“But..”

“But nothing Kurt. You were having fun until twenty seconds ago. You’re out with your friends for a night of dancing, not to go sappy over some guy who looks rough as shit and like he’s gonna puke at any second.” 

Kurt looks at him and realizes Santana is right. Blaine, always so put together and debonair, looks a mess. He hasn’t shaved, his dark stubble can clearly be seen under the lights, and his skin doesn’t look as radiant as usual. He wears a tight fitting polo shirt and jeans, more casual than the acoustic night where he is usually in a shirt and bow tie, but he looks uncomfortable, and his voice is gravelly as he speaks. 

“Hi everyone, so..um...it’s good to be here on opening night I guess. I’m gonna do a short set for you, I hope you enjoy it.” And with that, he launches into 'We found love,' which soon has everyone- even Kurt in spite of himself- dancing. His music is much more current, tailored to suit the club atmosphere rather than the more sedate setting of the coffee shop, and singing with a band behind him shows Kurt a side of him he’s never seen. Gone are the shy smiles and soft looks, the nervous bite of the lip before he starts each song. Suddenly he doesn’t look sick anymore either. This Blaine is full of confidence as he struts and dances about, singing for all he’s worth and making Kurt gulp down his virgin Shirley Temple in record time. 

“Holy shit. If he wasn’t into guys I’d totally tap that,” Santana yells over the song, and Kurt can only blush as for the first time, he allows himself to think what it would be like to have that body pressed against his own, to feel that strong thigh nudging his legs apart as their lips meet over and over. 

“Are you okay?” Tina shouts suddenly, jolting him back to reality. 

“Hmm?”

“You’re burning!” she yells, holding her hand to his forehead. 

“I’m okay, I just need to uh...use the bathroom.” he nods in the direction of the restrooms, and once in there he locks himself into a stall and closes his eyes, focusing on regulating his breathing before digging the heel of his hand into his crotch. He’s pretty sure it would be impossible to get an erection in jeans this tight, but his body is certainly trying it’s best, and he has to wait a good five minutes before unlocking the door, splashing some water on his face and returning to his friends. 

“Where'd he go?” he asks Tina who is gyrating with Quinn to some kind of techno music. 

“Taking a break,” she yells. “Over there,” she nods in the direction of the bar where Kurt can make out Blaine sitting on a stool talking....to another guy. A guy he seems very familiar with as he laughs loudly at something he’s said and touches his arm flirtatiously. Everything inside of Kurt plummets, then he feels anger start to build and before he knows it, he’s walking towards them. 

“So this is why I couldn’t have your number?” he shouts as soon as he’s near enough. 

“Kurt!” Blaine’s eyes go wide with surprise, and wider still when he takes in his appearance. Dressed in skin tight black jeans with knee high boots, a grey shirt with a white undershirt, hair quiffed high and...oh mother of god is that eyeliner? Kurt looks like a nineteen year old version of himself that Blaine can see is turning heads....including his. “What the hell are you doing in here?” he calls over the music, and Wes looks on in confusion as Kurt unleashes his fury. 

“It’s no concern of yours!” he snarls. “You know, I wish you’d had the balls to tell me you were with someone before you let me make a complete fool of myself Blaine. Thanks a lot.”

“What? No!” Blaine cries. 

“Oh god no!” Wes adds, jumping from his stool. “I’m Wes- Blaine’s friend. We’ve been friends since school, and I can assure you, never anything more. He doesn’t have the parts I like.” 

All Kurt can do is stare between the two. Wes, who is holding a hand out to him, smiles almost apologetically before letting it fall and retreating to his stool, leaving Blaine to grab his arm and steer him out onto the street. 

“What the hell was that? You don’t have any hold over me Kurt!” he cries, voice rising. “I can go where I want and do what I want. For your information I am working tonight.”

“I know,” Kurt whispers quietly. “I saw you...”

“Wes came along to watch, that’s all. But even if there was something, where do you get off telling me what I can and can’t do?”

“I’m sorry,” comes the mumbled response. 

“Not to mention the fact that you’re not supposed to be here in the first place! How did you get in?”

“A friend got me a fake ID.”

“Kurt...There is a reason you need to be twenty one to go to clubs,” Blaine sighs, “and it’s not just to do with the alcohol.”

“We didn’t come for that though,” Kurt cuts him off quickly, “We came to dance.”

“I should take you home,” Blaine thinks out loud. 

“No don’t. Please don’t. I get that you think I’m a little kid, but I’ve been humiliated enough by you. I can’t handle anymore.”

Blaine thinks for a while, pacing back and forth in front of a nervous Kurt before eventually lifting his head. 

“Okay. I gotta get back in. Promise me you will wait until the end of my set, I want to talk to you.”

Kurt mutters his consent and they return to the club, Blaine wincing when Kurt hands over a fake drivers license to the doorman. He returns to his friends, nodding at Wes who raises a hand in greeting, while Blaine makes his way back to the stage. 

“What was that about?” Quinn asks. “Was he hitting on you again?”

“No! Guy thinks he’s my dad I think,” a surly Kurt responds, before heading to the bar. 

“Hey,” he says, tapping Wes on the shoulder. 

“Oh. Hey. Kurt, right?”

“Yeah. Listen I uh...I just wanted to apologize for what I said. I was totally out of line.”

“No worries. I’ve had a lot of people assume we’re a couple over the years. Blaine is a very tactile person, and he’s gay. It comes with the territory.”

“Well anyway...I’m sorry.”

“He’s good, huh?” Wes says. nodding towards the stage. 

“The best,” Kurt breathes, and Wes smiles as the boy’s face lights up. 

“He was the lead in our Glee club you know.” 

“Really? He mentioned he was in it, he didn’t say he was lead.”

“Oh yeah. He was like a rock star, could have had his pick of guys...or girls, but he’s never been into them.”

“Does he...does he have anyone?”

“You’d have to ask him,” Wes says kindly. “I don’t think so, but Blaine keeps a lot of things close to his chest.”

“So he’s single?” Kurt latches onto Wes’ words as a hopeful smile finds it’s way onto his face. 

“Kurt. I gotta be honest here. You’re too young for him. Blaine is an adult. Go have fun with your friends. Allow Blaine to be a friend to you by all means, but don’t expect more than that or you’re gonna end up hurt. I teach kids your age. I know it’s all about the crushes and the secret longing...but that needs to be with someone your own age, or an out of reach celebrity.”

Kurt stares at him, and swallows hard. Nodding politely, he says “I’m going to dance,” and disappears into the crowd of people, dragging a blond girl with him. An hour later and a sweating Blaine returns to his stool, clapping Wes on the back. 

“What did you think man?” 

“Good, good,” Wes replies distractedly as he looks over Blaine’s shoulder. 

“What’s up?” 

“He’s like a fucking gazelle,” Wes mutters, and Blaine turns to see Kurt dancing. Hands held high over his head, twisting his body this way and that, Kurt is completely lost in the music, eyes closed and head thrown back. His friends dance around him, and they all have natural ability, but Kurt is riveting- and Blaine stares. 

“Put your tongue away,” Wes says directly into his ear. “Think of what he looks like day to day. I know eyeliner is your thing, but leave it be.”

“I wasn’t...well...Okay. You’re right. I’m gonna talk to him.”

He weaves his way past the undulating bodies, and prises a Latino girl away from him, whose dark eyes flash angrily when he touches her, then she smiles wickedly when she realizes who he is. 

“Hey Kurt! Lover boy wants a dance!” she calls, and Kurt’s eyes snap open and he grins delightedly. 

“I do not!” an indignant Blaine cries. “And I am not...you shouldn't have called me....that,” he trails off lamely as the girl turns and pulls a blond girl into a passionate kiss. “Lets get out of here,” he says to Kurt, making a disgusted face at the couple as he slides delicately past them. They cross the club, and Blaine becomes aware of Kurt almost bouncing with excitement at his side. 

“Kurt...I...this is nothing. Okay? You have to understand that. There is nothing between us, and there never can be. Do you understand?” he calls above the music, gripping Kurt’s arm tightly as he tries to convey his meaning. 

“Yes, yes. Okay. Your buddy has already told me all this. Where are we going?” he asks, eyes shining. 

“I’m driving you home.”

Kurt’s face falls and his shoulders slump as he’s made to feel as if he’s a child, but a ride in a car with Blaine is better than no time at all he reasons, so he runs back to tell Tina while Blaine says goodbye to Wes, then the pair head outside. 

“Did you have a good night?” Blaine asks politely, the cold air hitting them and making everything seem awkward and rather formal. 

“Yes thank you,” Kurt replies solemnly. “You were really good.”

“Thanks. I like playing clubs or bars occasionally. Gives me a chance to become someone else for awhile,” he says with a small smile. They reach his car and Blaine holds open the passenger door, Kurt’s heart giving a small thrill as he climbs inside. 

“You didn’t want to stay?” Kurt asks. “At the club, I mean.”

“No. It’s not really my scene. If I go to a club I go to Scandals.”

“Isn’t that the gay bar?”

“Yeah. Uh..” Blaine pauses and clears his throat. “I go there sometimes if I want to dance. I don’t like girls trying to hit on me.”

“Why, are you scared of them?” Kurt asks and Blaine laughs loudly. 

“No! I have female friends, it just makes me uncomfortable- I feel bad when I have to let them down.”

“And you never have to let guys down?”

“You twist everything, don’t you?” Blaine laughs. “I didn’t say that.” 

“You let me down.”

“Kurt.”

“You did.”

“Kurt please.” Blaine says, face now serious as he drives. “I didn’t want to. You have to know that.”

“No, I don’t know that at all,” he snaps back. “You made me look dumb in front of my friends, and destroyed what little confidence I had left.”

“And you made me drink an entire bottle of whiskey and cry to my friend!” Blaine thunders, and Kurt shrinks back against the door as silence fills the car. A long time passes with Kurt staring down at his hands and Blaine concentrating on the road ahead. Neither one knows the other well enough to placate them, and neither seems to know what to say. Eventually Blaine reaches across and squeezes Kurt’s hand briefly. 

“I’m sorry,” is all he says before politely asking for directions to Kurt’s house. 

“I made you cry?” Kurt says softly, overawed with the words which are still resounding in his head. 

Blaine says nothing, only drives until they are a few blocks from Kurt’s house where he pulls over. 

“Yes and no,” he sighs, turning to face him. “The situation made me cry more than anything, and the alcohol of course. Which I don’t recommend you try,” he adds, smiling at Kurt’s small laugh. 

“What about the situation?”

“I feel...as if we could be...I don’t know. Friends, I guess?”

“Nothing more.” Kurt states. 

“No. Not...yet.”

“What does that mean?”

“I don't want to give you false hope Kurt, so disregard that bit. I feel as if I want to be your friend, to get to know you, but I don't want people to get the wrong impression.”

“Since when does it matter what other people think? I don’t have a real friend, Blaine. Well, there’s Rachel but...not someone I can confide in, and talk to as an equal. So if that’s what you’re offering...”

“It is.”

“Then yes.”

“So...We could...I don’t know...go to the movies sometime, and you wouldn’t classify it as a date?”

“Not if you said it wasn’t.”

“It can’t be Kurt. Not just because of your age, but because I am really not looking to date anyone right now.”

“Why?” 

“Because I’m not.” He starts the engine and drives the rest of the way, stopping at the end of Kurt’s drive. “Home before midnight,” he smiles. 

“Good, because my dad will be watching that clock. Thanks for the ride,” a now infinitely more cheerful Kurt says brightly. 

“Anytime. But Kurt, please don’t let me see you dressed like that again.”

“Why?”

“Because you make...people....want things. Things that aren’t appropriate to want with a boy of your age.”

“Oh,” Kurt says, blushing in the darkness but feeling a small thrill as Blaine’s words make all his senses tingle. 

“Give me your phone,” Blaine says, holding out his hand. 

“Why?”

“So I can give you my number.”


	5. Chapter 5

Blaine wakes early, and is unable to resist reaching for his phone immediately and sending a text to Kurt. 

**Good morning!** he types, then deletes, thinking that maybe sounded a bit too over enthusiastic. 

**Hey! So...wanna do something later?** No. Too suggestive. 

**Can I take you out this afternoon?** Uh-uh. He’d said it strictly wasn’t a date. 

**Why did you have to look so damn hot last night so that now I can't stop thinking about you?**

Definitely not. 

**Hi, hope I didn’t wake you. If you’re around later we could maybe get coffee? Blaine.**

Is what he eventually settles on, though he still reads and rereads before telling himself to grow up and hitting the send button. A reply doesn’t come right away, so he attempts to busy himself around the house, but to little avail. 

“Blaine, It’s eight in the morning. On a Sunday,” Wes groans as he picks up his phone. 

“I text him, but he hasn’t replied.”

“Who?” 

“Kurt.”

“I’m not surprised. You couldn’t have taken him home much before midnight, and he’s a teenager. He’ll probably sleep most of the morning.”

“I forgot that. I feel nervous. Why do I feel nervous?”

“Because you like the kid,” Wes chuckles, voice filled with sleep. “I’ve seen you two together. And before you bust my balls, I don’t think you’re a pervert or anything of the sort. I think you’re an honorable guy who will do the best by him, and it may take a year or more, but you’re gonna end up dating him proper.” 

“Why does all the shit happen to me?” Blaine moans. 

“Because you wear your heart on your sleeve. But Luke wasn’t shit...he was just...toxic.”

“Shit.”

“We shouldn’t talk about him like that,” Wes says quietly. 

“No, you’re right,” he sighs. 

“Brad was shit.”

“Yes.”

“And Josh.”

“Totally.”

“Kevin?”

“Enough now. I’m feeling guilty enough as it is.”

“Why?”

“Wes, I’m getting butterflies at the thought of Kurt waking up and reading my text. How is that supposed to make me feel if not guilty as hell?”

“You’re not hurting anyone though,” Wes counters. “You haven’t done anything wrong and you have no intention of doing so. Now let me get some sleep, and call me this evening okay?”

“Okay.” 

 

Kurt wakes the second his phone goes off; having slept with it in his hand all night it proves pretty difficult to ignore. He reads the text with a dopey grin, falling back on his pillow and clutching the phone close to his chest. Forcing himself to wait an entire hour before texting back- so as not to seem too eager - in the end he replies:

_Sure. I have some stuff to do but you could pick me up around three?_

Stuff being homework and grocery shopping with his dad, but he doesn’t want Blaine to know that. Blaine replies in the affirmative, and Kurt sets about completing his homework as quickly as possible to allow himself optimum time for deciding on an outfit. 

Luckily, Burt heads out right after lunch, meaning Kurt can avoid any awkward questions by telling his dad he’s going out with a friend, and knowing he will assume it’s Rachel or Mercedes. He sees Blaine’s car pulling into the driveway and is unable to resist squealing slightly, even though the mantra of ‘not a date, not a date’ is playing over and over in his head. He waits until the doorbell rings, but Blaine is more than aware that he’s been standing just the other side, waiting. 

“Hi.” Blaine is oddly excited to see Kurt dressed in his everyday clothes again, hoping it will be much easier to view him as a friend he’s getting coffee with than anything else- which of course is exactly what this is. 

“Hi. Ready to go?”

“Sure.” 

Blaine leads the way to the car, holding Kurt’s door open for him again and hoping he cannot see the way in which his heart is pounding in his chest. 

“So...I thought maybe we could go somewhere other than The Lima Bean?”

“Yes please,” Kurt laughs. “I’m pretty sure it’s the only route Rachel knows.” 

Blaine drives them to downtown Lima and they find a small coffee shop just off the main square where they both order hot chocolates and settle into comfy armchairs. 

“So,” Blaine begins. 

“So.”

“I don’t know...Tell me about yourself I guess.”

Kurt shrugs. “There’s not much to tell. My mom died when I was seven, and I live with my dad. He’s dating a woman who has a son in my year at school. Um...I go to McKinley but you know that already.”

“Hopes? Dreams? Aspirations for the future?” Blaine finds himself leaning on the arm of the chair, resting his chin on the palm of his hand as he allows the melodious tone of Kurt’s voice to wash over him. 

“To get out of Lima,” Kurt replies instantly. “I would like to go to NYADA to study. Either that or do fashion at Parsons...but NYADA would be my first choice. After that, who knows? Travel, work in theater, get married when I’m like...old.”

“Old?”

“Thirty or something,” he says with a knowing smile, which makes Blaine laugh out loud. 

“Okay. When you’re thirty I’ll remind you that you thought that was old.”

Kurt feels breathless at the very thought of still knowing Blaine that far into the future, but it’s not an uncomfortable thought at all. Far from it.

“So what about you? You’ve been around much, much longer than me. You must have more to tell.”

“Thanks,” Blaine says, eyes dancing with merriment. “Let me see... I went to Dalton, as you know. From there I went to study music at NYU. My parents still live in Westerville which is both a blessing and a curse in equal measures. My best friend, Wes, teaches Math at Dalton. Um...oh, and I have a brother- Cooper. He lives in LA and has ten year old twins, Maddie and Taylor.”

“That’s...interesting,” Kurt says, setting his cup down. “But it’s not about you. Tell me about you.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Can I ask you anything?”

“Sure. Why not? I’ll just say if I don’t want to answer,” Blaine shrugs- then finds himself laughing once again as Kurt tucks his legs under himself and leans forward in his chair. 

“Why did you leave New York?”

Picking at a loose thread on the armchair, Blaine doesn’t look up as he speaks. “I uh...I had a bad breakup. A really bad one. And I just felt like I couldn’t stay.”

“Can I ask what happened?”

Blaine shakes his head softly. “I can’t,” he whispers, and to Kurt’s horror he realizes Blaine’s eyes are filled with unshed tears. “I can’t tell you. I will....one day. But not right now.”

“Okay,” Kurt says, fully prepared to let the subject drop, but Blaine carries on. 

“It’s just...I’ve never told anyone. I mean people know. People who were around at the time, my family and Wes for example, and it’s not a secret or anything but I just.... I’ve never had to retell it, and I don’t know if I can.”

“That’s okay,” Kurt whispers, reaching across and taking Blaine’s hand in his own, surprised by how tightly Blaine holds him. 

“Thank you.” Blaine offers a trembling smile and draws a shaky breath. “Ugh. Okay. Enough sadness.”

“When did it end?”

“Nearly three years ago, and I’ve been back in Ohio for a year.”

“And you’ve not been with anyone since?”

“Not...in a relationship...no,” Blaine replies, choosing his words carefully. 

“Were you together a long time?”

“Not really. Eighteen months. But it was very...intense. And when it finished I found it difficult to surface and find myself again.”

“So...have you had a lot of boyfriends?”

“You like your questions, don’t you?”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay. No I haven’t. I’ve dated probably what you would see as a lot of guys, but as you so kindly reminded me, I am much older. But not all of those dates have turned into relationships. In fact I’ve only had three real boyfriends.”

“Have you been in love?”

Blaine scrunches his nose in thought; again he chooses his words carefully before continuing. “Not in love, no. Luke...the last one...I loved him, but I wasn’t in love with him, if that makes sense. I never saw us as staying together forever.”

“I’ve never been in love,” Kurt offers shyly. “I’ve never even been on a date.”

“I’d have been surprised if you’d said you had been,” Blaine smiles, and this time it is he who reaches across and laces Kurt’s fingers in his own. “As for dates...they’ll happen. Be patient.”

“That’s what everyone says. But it’s hard, when I see Rachel dating Finn- that’s the guy who will probably end up being my stepbrother. And other friends too, y’know? It’s like everyone has had that thrill except me.”

“It’s harder, being gay. And if you’re gay and a romantic fool like me, it’s even worse,” Blaine smiles softly. “A lot of guys who will turn out to be gay won’t have come out at your age- to themselves even, let alone anyone else. I’m amazed that you are so confident and sure of yourself.”

“I’ve always known,” Kurt shrugs. “And with my impeccable fashion sense and ridiculous voice, it was kinda obvious.”

“Not at all. And I wish you wouldn’t hate on the way you speak. It’s...incredible. Truly. I could listen to you all day.” 

“Really?”

“Really. I’m being honest here. You’re...special,” he finishes lamely, holding back from anything more, but Kurt looks like all his christmases have come at once as his grin nearly splits his face in two. 

“Thanks,” he says then sighs and looks wistful once more. “I just...I want the romance. Y’know? I want the dates, the stolen kisses, the hand holding and the cuddling on the couch while a movie plays that never gets watched...” 

“And you will, I’m confident of that. I told you about the Sadie Hawkins dance? Well that guy I asked was just a friend. After that, I was so scared to ask anyone out that I didn’t have my first real date until I was eighteen.”

“Wow.”

“We had a few dates and it was nice, but then we both went off to college and that was it. My real dating life didn’t start until NYU.”

“Do you think it will be the same for me?”

Blaine wants to scream no, because he’s already wondering when it would be okay to ask him out proper, but instead he shrugs. “Maybe you’ll meet someone before that.” 

“Blaine, can I ask... Do you believe in soulmates?”

“Yes.” Blaine’s answer is immediate and definite. 

“Do you think you have to date someone to find out if they’re it for you, or do you think you can tell instantly?”

“Ooh. That’s a tough one. I think...I think maybe you don’t always know. You can date someone and then one day it hits you that you can never be without that person. But I also think you can meet someone and there is a moment, an instant spark.”

“A connection?”

“Yes.”

A silence descends as Blaine looks out of the window and Kurt stares at his shoes. He wants to ask Blaine if he feels it, if he too lies awake at night wondering if he's found the one. He reasons that he probably doesn't given that- as everyone keeps reminding him- Blaine is an adult. He looks to him and laughs as he catches Blaine trying to stifle a yawn. 

"Am I boring you?"

"No! Not at all. No, I'm just tired. I didn't get much sleep last night, that's all- and I need my sleep."

"Because you're old," Kurt teases. 

"I am not!" 

"Okay, quick fire," Kurt says, eyes sparkling and enjoying this far too much. "Lady Gaga or Madonna?"

"Madonna."

"Donna Summer or Tine Tempah?"

"What kind of question even is that?" Blaine asks, screwing his face up in displeasure. "Donna Summer, no contest."

"Wine or fruit punch?"

"Wine."

"Lazy afternoon in the back yard or shopping at the mall?"

"Yard. I'm doing really badly, aren't I?"

"It's not looking great," Kurt laughs. "Cardigans or..."

"Cardigans," Blaine cuts him off.

"You don't know what I was going to say!"

"Doesn't matter. Nothing beats a cardigan- especially if it's worn with a bowtie," Blaine smiles. 

"It's official. You're ancient."

"Well thank you for your wisdom and insight oh young, knowledgeable one. Can I still be your friend?"

"Of course," Kurt trills brightly, and they both laugh together. 

*

 

"I had a really great time," Blaine says as he pulls up outside Kurt's house. 

"Me too," he smiles back. 

"Do you want to meet tomorrow?" Blaine says, not really caring if he sounds too eager. 

"Oh!" Kurt's surprise is evident, but he quickly recovers. "I can't tomorrow, I have Glee. But uh...Tuesday?"

"Sure. After school?"

"Don't you have work?"

"I work at home a lot. I have a music studio."

"Okay."

"Do you want me to pick you up from school?" 

"Erm..."

"No?"

"I'm just...kind of aware that not everybody will approve, or take our word when we say we're just friends." 

"No, you're right of course." Blaine shakes his head to try and clear the fog. "Um...The Lima Bean then? That's close, right?"

"Yes. I can get there. I'd better go," he says, opening the door and reluctantly leaving the car. "See you Tuesday." 

"Who was that?" Burt Hummel asks the second his son is through the door. 

"A friend. I told you I was going out."

"It was a guy," Burt says gruffly, following him into the kitchen. 

"So? I have guy friends too."

"Sure you do, I've just never seen him before, that's all." 

"No. He's new."

"Possible boyfriend?"

"No dad, just a friend." Smiling, he takes a slice of cheesecake from the fridge and walks past him down to his basement bedroom while Burt mutters something about being kept informed and shuffles off to watch tv. 

"He's amazing!" Blaine cries happily to Wes that evening. 

"Oh god."

"We had such a good time. I haven't laughed like that in so long. His views on things are so refreshing and...."

"And how did you feel? Other than like a kid again."

"Good. It was easy. I mean...sometimes he looks at me in a certain way...or touches my hand and I...kind of...jump inside, but most of the time it was just us...chatting and having fun." 

"Keep it like that." 

"I will." 

"Did you make any further plans?"

"I'm seeing him Tuesday."

"Tuesday! That's a bit quick isn't it?"

"I want to. He's just....a really great person to be around." 

"Just....be careful Blaine. Don't give the kid false hope. It must be very flattering to know a guy you're crushing on actually enjoys spending time with you. You're the adult in all of this, you're the one who needs to know when to pull back and exercise restraint."

"I know," Blaine sighs. "And I won't lead him on, I swear."

"Good. And as for any other urges you may have....get them met elsewhere." 

*

Blaine does pay heed to Wes' advice, he really does, but he still can't help the way his face brightens when Kurt enters the coffee shop on Tuesday.

"Here," he says, pushing a coffee towards him. 

"You know my coffee order?"

"Of course I do. You okay?" he asks with concern as Kurt sits down with a sigh. "You seem kind of down." 

"Rough day," he shrugs as he sips at his steaming drink. 

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." 

"Okay," Blaine says and Kurt's smile is full of relief and gratitude. "What do you want to talk about then?"

"Did you see project runway last night?"

"Of course."

And that is how the week is spent; meeting after school for coffee every day until Friday when Blaine picks Kurt up after dinner and takes him to acoustic night with him. He begs and pleads for Kurt to sing with him, but he declines gracefully, knowing his voice isn't at it's best due to lack of sleep and not wanting to embarrass himself. Even so, they spend another evening entirely happy in one another's company, swapping stories, making each other laugh and just generally getting to know one another, and liking what they know more and more. 

"Do you want to catch a movie tomorrow night?" Kurt asks as Blaine pulls into his driveway. 

"Uh...I can't."

"Why?" 

"I'm um...I'm going out."

"Oh," Kurt swallows. "With Wes?"

"No, with some other friends." 

"To a bar?" 

"Sort of." 

"Fine," Kurt huffs, and Blaine reaches across to place a hand on his arm. 

"We could go earlier?"

"Whatever," he shrugs, and Blaine finds the age difference staring him starkly in the face. 

"Kurt, don't do this." 

"I'm not." 

"You are. We both have other friends, you know that. I don't come sit in Glee club with you, do I?"

Kurt mumbles something incomprehensible, but shakes his head and Blaine continues. "You know the age difference here. I can't take you to bars with me."

"I have a fake ID," Kurt offers hopefully, and Blaine smiles at him indulgently. 

"Not gonna happen. On your twenty first I'll drown you in alcohol if that's what you want, but up until then I'm not prepared to have underage drinking on my conscience."

"Like you never did it."

"I didn't say that," Blaine pauses, letting out a loud sigh. "Kurt....I love spending time with you. But I have to have friends my own age too. I need to be able to kick back occasionally with a drink in my hand and talk with them about...stuff. That's all. But I would like to go to a movie with you in the afternoon." 

Kurt wants to push it, to ask exactly where he is going, and who these friends are, but he has a sneaking suspicion that Blaine has left it vague for a reason, and he's just not ready to deal with that right now. So he nods- somewhat reluctantly- and agrees to call Blaine in the morning. Heading inside, he finds to his dismay that his dad is waiting up for him. 

"Same guy?"

"Yes. Why?"

"No reason," Burt shrugs. "Just you've been out with him everyday this week."

"We're friends, I told you."

"You're friends with Rachel too," Burt points out, "but you don't spend hours getting ready to have coffee with her." 

"I like to look nice," Kurt says, blushing. "I didn't know that was a crime."

"It's not. But it's obvious you like this kid. Wanna tell me about him?"

"No I do not," Kurt snaps in annoyance as he tries to leave the room.

"Fine, but if you carry on seeing him I want to meet him, understood?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"I mean it Kurt," his dad warns as Kurt trails down the stairs to his room. He tries to sleep, but ends up lying on his back staring at the ceiling and trying not to picture Blaine surrounded by men in a club, dancing, drinking and having fun- fun that Kurt is five years away from being able to share. 

The atmosphere between Kurt and Blaine the next day is tense at first; they share scant but polite conversation on the way to the cinema, mainly a discussion about which film to see. Blaine waits in line for the tickets, insisting on paying and hoping it might go some way towards making Kurt smile again, but it doesn't and neither does the large bucket of popcorn he buys. 

"It's greasy," he says wrinkling his nose. 

"Kurt. Do you want me to cancel tonight?" 

He thinks on it awhile, then shakes his head slightly. "No. You're right. We need to have other friends. It just...it made me feel really young, and like maybe you were ashamed of me- of being my friend." 

Blaine stands in the foyer of the cinema and lifts Kurt’s chin gently with his finger, heart lurching when those blue eyes fix on his. 

"I promise you, I will never be ashamed of you. Who could be? Do you even know how amazing you are? I didn't mean to make you feel that way, and I will be happy for you to meet my friends sometime- you met Wes and he really likes you. Please don't be sad, because being ashamed or embarrassed of you....well it couldn't be further from the truth." 

Seemingly placated, Kurt offers a smile and grabs a handful of popcorn, before leading them into the theater where they waste two hours pretending to focus on a film, casting shy glances at each other and sharing gentle smiles. Kurt hopes fervently that Blaine will hold his hand. Certainly he looks like he's thinking about it, fingers tapping out an impatient pattern on the armrest then stopping, hovering over Kurt's upturned palm before retreating to his lap, and almost regretful smile playing on Blaine's face as he stares at the screen. 

For now Kurt knows that has to be enough. Blaine makes a point of telling him yet again how much he enjoys spending time with him as he drives him home, and Kurt promises to call the next day, leaving Blaine to drive away wondering why the promise of a simple call makes his heart pound with excitement. 

Call he does- at seven in the morning and a very surprised and very hungover Blaine answers without looking at the screen to see who it is. 

"S'up?"

"Blaine?"

"Kurt?" Blaine's voice is hoarse, gravelly from lack of sleep and too much yelling over music. Kurt makes out distant movement followed by a muffled "Oh fuck."

"Blaine, are you okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, yeah. Hold on." A door slams and then Blaine is back. "Sorry. Yeah I'm fine. I just didn't expect you to call this early, that's all."

"Did you have a good night?"

"Yeah...I think I did," Blaine mutters, scratching his head in confusion as he tries to locate his pants. 

"So I wondered if you wanted to do something today?"

"Uh yeah...we can. Um...what?"

"I could come over?"

"What? No. No, you can't."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

Blaine sighs heavily and righting an upturned kitchen chair, sits down. "Because I don't think that's appropriate," he whispers, recalling Wes' words about him needing to be the adult in this situation. 

"I was only suggesting we watch a movie or something," a clearly upset Kurt mumbles. 

"I know you were," Blaine says kindly. "But other people wouldn't see it that way, certainly if your dad found out...."

"He knows I see you," Kurt butts in.

"Does he know how old I am?" Blaine asks and is met by silence. "Thought so. Look Kurt, I'm happy to see you, to get coffee or whatever but that's it, and you know why it has to be left there, don't you?" 

Kurt thinks he does, he also thinks there is a double meaning behind Blaine's words and he's acknowledging the one thing they never do talk about: the depth of their feelings and the spark they both try to ignore. He opens his mouth to say something to that effect, but another voice speaks at Blaine's end of the line and he freezes. 

"Coffee? Uh..."

"Blaine," he offers his name as the stranger looks at him. 

"Blaine. Right. Coffee?" 

"Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks." He turns back to the phone in his hand and hears the shaky, rapid breathing of a broken hearted teenager. "Kurt?"

"You have someone there?"

"No."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying. I'm uh....I'm not at home," Blaine says, voice full of shame.

"So that's why you were whispering," Kurt states simply.

"No, Kurt. It's not like that, I swear." 

"Forget it. I'm busy today anyway. All next week in fact."

"No you're not," Blaine sighs. "Come on, don't be like this."

"Like what? Tell me how I'm supposed to be then Blaine!" Kurt yells, and Blaine finds his way outside to the cold morning air slapping him starkly in the face, stinging his cheeks, though he's not sure if it’s that or something else making his eyes water. 

“Kurt...”

“Am I not enough for you?” Kurt asks quietly, and Blaine thinks he prefers the irrational screaming to the heartbreaking sound of tears lodged in Kurt’s throat. 

“It’s not that at all...” Blaine starts. 

“Forget it Blaine,” Kurt says, voice breaking into a sob. “Just...forget it.”

“Please!” Blaine cries, but he is met by silence.


	6. Chapter 6

By Friday, the levels in Blaine’s liquor cabinet are significantly lower as he tries again to call Kurt but to no avail. He calls Cooper instead who is anything other than sympathetic. 

“I told you, Wes told you, hell- even Jeff tried to tell you. He’s a kid Blaine.”

“But he didn’t even give me a chance to explain,” he wails down the phone before knocking back the rest of his scotch. 

“And he’s not going to because guess what? He’s a kid. You’ve hurt him.”

“But I didn’t do anything wrong. We never said...”

“Makes no difference in his eyes Blaine. You spent an entire week with him, taking him out, listening to him, laughing with him, making him feel like a fucking Prince in some Disney movie...and then you shit on him.”

“I just...”

“You just need to get over it.”

“I can’t.”

“Sure you can. Stop drinking for a start. I’ll give the kid that, at least he couldn’t encourage you. You’re your own worst enemy. Look what happened with..”

“I know. I just...want to try and forget this is all happening, but his damn eyes are everywhere.”

“Blaine, seriously. Stop drinking. Or I’m calling mom.”

“Okay. Okay.”

“And call Wes or something, make some plans with your big boy friends.”

“Haha,” Blaine says dryly. “Actually I’m seeing him tomorrow anyway- it’s Jeff’s birthday.” 

“Don’t you sing tonight?”

“I couldn’t face it,” he whispers morosely. 

“You’ve got it bad for this boy. I think you need to be thankful it ended before you did something you’d regret.”

“I already did. I let him go."

 

“I’m not happy about this Kurt. Not happy at all,” Santana says as she pulls into the parking lot.

“I don’t really care.”

“Well you damn well should care because one call to your dad to tell him you’re not really at the movies with me will have your ass grounded for eternity.”

“Fine,” Kurt sighs- bored of the conversation and anxious to get moving. “Thanks for the ride, and for covering for me.”

“At least let me come in with you.”

“No.” 

“You’ve never been to a gay bar before. You’ll be eaten alive.”

“I’ll be fine Santana. I only want to see if he’s there.”

“And if he is? What if he’s got his tongue down someones throat? Or you see him taking some random home with him? What then?”

“Then I guess I’ll know what he really thinks of me,” he says quietly, and Santana reaches over and pulls him into an awkward hug. 

“Come home with me. We can look at gay porn on tumblr if you want?”

“Um...thanks? But no. I have to do this Santana.”

“Promise you’ll text me as soon as you’re home?”

“I promise.”

“Because I WILL knock on your door at three in the morning if you don’t.”

“I don’t doubt it.”

Blaine feels good. For the first time in seven days, he is actually enjoying himself. He paid attention to his brother’s words, and has designated himself driver for the group tonight, though Wes has also brought his car. The large group of friends make a rowdy sight on the dancefloor, and Blaine enjoys moving flirtatiously between his old school friends Nick and Jeff, grinding his ass back into Jeff and laughing when Nick pulls him away. No one notices a shy and uncertain Kurt Hummel entering the club, heading straight to the bar where he downs a shot of something blue which burns the back of his throat. He spots Blaine though, arms looped around a blond guy who runs his fingers flirtatiously through those curls as Blaine dances with him obscenely. He looks to the floor for a second, the alcohol rushing into his bloodstream and making him giddy. When he looks up again, the blond is gone and in his place is a tall brunette with a smirking face. Blaine doesn’t look pleased, but the other guy is seemingly uncaring as he grinds up against him and grips Blaine’s ass tightly. Kurt sees red. Flying from his stool he strides onto the dance floor. 

“Oh holy shit there’s gonna be trouble,” Wes mutters, eyes wide as he sees Kurt striding purposefully towards Blaine and Sebastian. 

“Is that the kid?” Jeff asks. 

“That’s the kid.”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Kurt screams, face livid with rage. 

Blaine’s eyes fly open and he lifts his head from where it had been resting on the guys shoulder. 

“Oh Jesus Christ.”

“Seriously Blaine, THIS is what you get up to with your adult friends? Well you know what? Fuck you.” spinning on his heel, he starts back to the bar, but Blaine grabs him and spins him around. 

“My God Kurt, you’ve been drinking!” he yells above the music, strangers eyeing them as they stand seething at one another. “You idiot! As for me...I have called you, ten times a day at least and you’ve ignored every one of my damn calls you ignorant bastard. So don’t come into an adult bar, where you’re not supposed to be, lecturing me about how I’m to behave, cause right now I don’t think your behavior stands up to much scrutiny either!” 

Like the flick of a switch, Kurt’s anger turns to sadness as he looks at Blaine, eyes swimming with tears. “Please don’t yell at me. I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t be here I know but I just...needed to see if you were here.” 

“Well I am. Now go home Kurt,” Blaine bites walking back to his friends, too angry to realize how hurt and lost Kurt is looking until Wes pushes him back again. 

“Go and talk to him. Right now it’s you who is being the child.”

“But he...he’s practically stalking me!” 

“He is not! He needs to know where he stands Blaine. And you have to decide that. Now go.” With a final shove, he sends Blaine reeling towards Kurt, whose eyes widen in surprise. 

“Oh. I was just gonna go,” he says, so quietly that Blaine has to strain to hear him.

“How are you getting home?”

“Um...cab I guess.”

“I’ll drive you, come on.”

“Blaine...” he calls, making him stop in his tracks. “Would you...um...maybe dance with me before we leave?”

Kurt sees the sigh escape him, and he looks around as if the walls may hold the answer. Eventually, he holds his hand out. 

“One dance.” 

Kurt smiles, but it’s full of nerves as he allows Blaine to lead him onto the dance floor, where both can’t help but laugh lightly as the pace changes and Bruno Mars ‘Grenade’ starts to play. Kurt seems unsure what to do, and gasps and stumbles slightly as Blaine tugs him into an embrace, encouraging his arms around his neck.

“Well I think these lyrics are pretty apt don’t you?” Blaine says into his ear as his arms circle his waist. 

“Why? Who’s trouble, you or me?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Blaine says in a voice which makes Kurt shudder with pleasure. 

“What did you mean then? You’d do anything for me?”

“Just shut up and enjoy the song Kurt,” Blaine orders, pushing his face into his neck. He really can’t help it as one hand travels up Kurt’s back for his fingers to run through his soft brown hair. He looks up briefly to see Wes staring at him aghast, and Sebastian smirking, so he closes his eyes and leans into Kurt slightly. 

“Shit,” he says softly. 

“What?”

“You smell so good,” he murmurs. 

“Are you sober?” Kurt asks, pulling back to look up at him slightly. 

“Yes,” he chuckles, pulling him close once more as they sway together to the music. Kurt keeps his arms tight around Blaine’s neck- too nervous and frightened to do otherwise, but Blaine keeps his hands continually running up and down his back, pulling him tighter and tighter against him until his thigh slots between Kurt’s legs as they dance. He is lost; completely drowning in his feelings and finally giving himself over to his wants and desires. He nuzzles against Kurt’s neck, enjoying the way the boy shivers and he full out moans as he feels tentative, shaking fingers tangle into his curls.

“Blaine.” Kurt’s voice comes in the softest of whispers and Blaine pulls back to look at him with hooded lids. 

Suddenly it is as if a bucket of ice has been dumped over his head as he sees the boy leaning up slightly, lips heading towards his at an alarming rate. 

"Kurt, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Blaine yells above the music. Forcibly tugging Kurt's arms from where he's draped them across his shoulders, Blaine captures both his wrists, forcing him to stand straight and look at him. "Not here! Not now!"

"Well where then, and when?" he questions boldly. 

"Nowhere and never! Jesus Christ Kurt, you're fifteen years old!" 

"Sixteen in three days," he snaps, feeling even more angry as he feels tears of humiliation prick at his eyes. 

"Listen to yourself! You're a kid, Kurt. Just a kid. Come on, I'm taking you home." 

He tugs him from the dance floor and across the bar, past his astounded friends and ignoring Wes’ shouts for him to hold up. They emerge into the cold night and head to Blaine’s car, where he still- as ever- holds the door open for Kurt before climbing in the drivers side. Blaine drives quickly, hands shaking as they grip the wheel and he tries to get his thoughts into some semblance of order before speaking. He looks at Kurt from the corner of his eye- pale and worried, tugging his bottom lip between his teeth which really does not help the situation for Blaine who is trying desperately to think of what to say. In the end it is Kurt who breaks the silence first. 

“Do you go there to pick up men?” Kurt asks fiddling with the buttons on his shirt and not daring to look at him. 

“No,” Blaine replies, laughing in disbelief. 

“You can be honest with me.”

“I am. That’s not...Kurt, I’m not like that.”

“I don’t know what you’re like though do I? Not really,” he says in a voice so thick with emotion it becomes almost lodged in his throat

“Not like you’re insinuating that’s for sure.”

“Is that where you went last week?”

“Yes.”

“With those people?”

“Not all of them.”

Kurt wants to ask more- as he always does- but he resists. What good would it do to know anyway? If Blaine tells him who he went home with it’s not going to erase this hurt or pain, it will only give him a name, possibly a face to bring to mind over and over. So he stays silent until Blaine parks across the end of his drive and turns to him. 

“I’m sorry,” he says softly. 

“You weren’t fair to me tonight,” Kurt says, giving up on trying to hold the tears back and letting them fall. Tears of shame and humiliation which Blaine would like to kiss away over and over again but knows he can’t. 

“I know.”

“You led me on. I shouldn’t have been there I know. But when I asked you to dance you could have turned me down.”

“I could have,” Blaine says quietly, “but I didn’t want to.”

“Why?”

“Because....fuck....because I wanted to hold you,” he whispers, voice hoarse. Kurt looks up to see Blaine staring at him in the darkness, face full of regret and remorse.

“I don’t...” Kurt starts, brow furrowed into unknowing. “But you...you said we were friends.”

“We are. Which is why I shouldn’t have let that happen. I did mislead you and I’m sorry. I’m also sorry for yelling, and calling you a kid. I was taken by surprise, that’s all.”

“Blaine....If I hadn’t tried....would you....I mean...what would have happened?” Swiping at his tears, Kurt holds his breath waiting for a response. 

“I was about two seconds away from kissing you,” he says quietly, wincing at the happiness which floods Kurt’s face. 

“Really?”

“But I can’t!” Blaine cries in desperation. “That’s why I got so mad at you Kurt, because I’m mad at me for having these thoughts about you!” 

“What thoughts?”

“Don’t play innocent,” Blaine snaps. 

“I’m not. I don’t know how you feel about me.”

“You must be able to feel it Kurt? You must know.”

“A connection.” Kurt states into the still. 

“Yes,” Blaine nods. “I can’t get you outta my head, though God knows I’ve tried. So then I try to be friends with you...and I love being with you, I do. You’re a wonderful person Kurt but for me it runs so much deeper than friendship and that’s wrong.”

“Not if we both want the same.”

“It’s still wrong from my standpoint. You’re too young for all this. You and me...we want and need very, very different things from a relationship.”

“I could....give you...um...that. If you...”

“No!” Blaine cries in horror. “Kurt, that’s not what I want from you at all. Well.... Anyway, I’m just not ready to date anyone right now. The fact is, you need to be happy. You deserve to be happy. But that needs to be with a kid your own age.” 

“I understand,” Kurt says quietly, head bowed. “I’m not desirable, not attractive enough for you to want me.”

“Kurt,” Blaine says pulling his face up to look at him. “I say stupid stuff sometimes, I’m an idiot. But don’t ever think that you’re not desirable- because you are truly beautiful.” 

The statement hangs in the air, both unsure what to do with such a declaration or how to proceed. Blaine’s thumb traces softly over the tracks of Kurt’s tears as their eyes delve into one another. However much Kurt wants to move, to close that gap between them, he stays stock still. Blaine blinks, and a tear escapes. Kurt watches as it makes it’s way down his face, eventually resting on his cheek where he dares to reach forward and wipe it away. 

“Blaine...I can’t do this.”

“I know,” he smiles a tight, sad smile and drops his hand. 

“I can’t be around you and know that you’re not going to allow anything to happen. And you’re not, are you?”

“Not right now, no.”

“It's only fifteen years, if I was thirty and you forty five no one would care.” Kurt tries, in one last ditch attempt. 

“Yes. You're right; at times it won't matter, or seem like a big deal. But right now it does. Because you are only just turning sixteen. You can't know yourself, you haven't grown up enough, you're not a person in your own right yet. And I don’t mean that to sound disrespectful, or patronizing because that’s not how I mean it at all. It’s just an unavoidable fact.” 

“So...that’s it then?”

“I’d like for us to stay friends,” Blaine offers, but Kurt shakes his head. 

“I don’t think we can be. I mean...we get along great I know. But you’re right. There’s this underlying connection, this pull that I just don’t think I can ignore while you’re still around..... I’m sorry Blaine,” he adds in a near whisper as more tears fall from those golden eyes. 

“I guess there’s not much I can do then,” he says, resignation ringing in his words. 

“I’ll...um...I’ll see you around,” Kurt says and he steps swiftly from the car and runs inside, not looking back. Once inside he closes the door softly then slumps against it, grinding his fists into his eyes over and over until he is seeing stars. Staggering down to his own room he falls face first on the bed, reaching for his phone before he can allow himself to break completely. 

_I’m home,_ he sends to Santana. 

**And?**

_And I’ve just found out what a broken heart feels like._


	7. Chapter 7

“You fucking idiot!” Wes yells as he storms past Blaine and into the hallway. 

“I was trying to sleep,” he tries but Wes is in full flight and won’t take his crap. 

“Bullshit you were. You’ve been crying again and I’m not surprised. What the hell did you think you were playing at? And that poor boy. Humiliation is not the word.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Blaine says morosely as he heads to the kitchen. “He told me he doesn’t want to see me again.”

“Well one of you needed to end it. I’m glad someone was adult enough to see that.”

“Wes,”

“Don’t ‘Wes’ me. What I saw on that dancefloor made me so uncomfortable. You looked as if you were trying to inhale him.”

“I think I was.”

“It was more intense than anything I’ve ever seen in my life- and I’ve seen Sebastian in action. Were you really surprised that the poor kid tried to kiss you? You looked like Lestat the vampire discovering new prey.”

“No...not surprised,” Blaine says, filling two mugs with coffee and handing one to his friend before sitting at the table. 

“Then why did you yell?”

“Because I had to stop myself from kissing him back. Wes, I’m sorry if you think it’s gross or whatever but...holding him in my arms felt so right.”

Wes sighs, takes a sip from his cup and then looks at Blaine again. “I don’t think it’s gross. I think I saw two people who are falling head over heels in love and are powerless to stop it.”

“No. No...that’s not...”

“Deny it all you want Blaine, but it’s true. You can play this game of cat and mouse for as long as you choose, but you two are irresistibly drawn to one another and eventually you won’t be able to deny it any longer.”

“So what? You’re saying I should go for it?”

“No. I can’t say that Blaine. You want me to, so that it will make you feel better about yourself and the situation...but I can’t. I’m the same age as you, and I teach kids his age. I can’t say I’m okay with you pursuing him.”

“Don’t use that word.”

“You see! You feel uncomfortable about it yourself. Leave Kurt be for a while. Months if necessary. Maybe try contact again in the summer.”

“The summer? But that’s ages away!”

“It’s not that long. And it will give Kurt time to become stronger, more mature. You too for that matter.” 

“But...what about school? The bullying?”

“He’ll deal with it the same way he always did. He has a supportive dad you said, and he has other friends too don’t forget.”

“I don’t like to think of my life without him in it,” Blaine says sadly, which prompts Wes to pull him to his feet and into a hug. 

“He was in your life for two months. Before that you had thirty one years of ignorance.”

“Ignorance is bliss.”

“Quite. So become ignorant again. You can do it I’m sure.”

*

Kurt wakes on the morning of his sixteenth birthday, not delirious with excitement as he had always imagined he would be on such an occasion, but with a heavy heart and tears stinging behind his eyes. He drags himself to the shower, cursing the thought of yet another day of mindless torment awaiting him in the halls of McKinley high. It was almost bearable- in that week he spent with Blaine- because he knew that no matter what he had to go through at school, by three o’clock he would be happy again. 

He dresses slowly, trying to prolong the inevitable and makes his way downstairs to his dad. 

“Happy Birthday buddy!” Burt says, pulling him into a hug and ruffling his hair. 

“Dad,” he groans in annoyance as he tries to right his hair again before sitting at the table. 

“So...these came,” Burt says as he hands over the most enormous bouquet of flowers Kurt has ever seen. “I’m guessing they’re from that guy in the black car who is strictly not a boyfriend,” Burt teases gently, but regrets the words as soon as he sees Kurt’s eyes start to shimmer. “Kurt?”

“Strictly not a boyfriend,” Kurt mumbles as he opens the card. “Not now, not ever.”

Happy sixteenth Birthday, love Blaine xxx  
P.S I miss you. 

“Give them to Carole,” Kurt says, face hardening as he pockets the card. 

“What? They’re for you. Has something happened?”

“Blaine- the guy in the car- won’t be picking me up anymore.”

“What’d he do?” Burt asks, shoulders immediately tensing. 

“No...nothing. It just...It just didn’t work out that’s all.”

“So you were dating then. I knew it!” 

“No, we really weren’t. I hoped...but no. It’s not gonna happen.” He offers his dad a watery smile, but Burt shrugs his shoulders in confusion. 

“I don’t get why he’d send you flowers then.”

“Neither do I. Like I said, give them to Carole.” 

Burt sighs heavily as Kurt reaches for the cereal. Watching his little boy growing up is harder than he ever thought it would be. He tries to be understanding about him being gay, and he knows he has a hard time at school because of it. He had hoped the appearance of this guy might have helped Kurt deal with everything, a few dates here and there would bring a much needed boost to his confidence and subsequently make the bullying easier to deal with- because then he'd finally know, like Burt has always known- that there are people in this world who are ignorant, fearful and unaccepting, and then there are those who love and accept someone just as they come. 

But instead, Kurt had spent an entire week in the company of black-car-guy as Burt was now calling him, then a week sulking, and now he's moping about like his heart is broken and that, he can't even begin to understand. 

"What's the deal with him then?" Burt tries again, but his son has built walls of steel around himself and refuses to discuss it. 

"Dad, drop it." 

"Fine. Come get your gift," he says, dragging him out onto the porch where he sees a black navigator standing proudly on the driveway. 

"Oh my god!" Kurt cries, launching himself into his day's arms who laughs and hugs him tightly. "You are the best! The absolute best! Can I drive to school? Can I? Please?"

"Okay!" Burt laughs loudly. "Okay. Whatever you want. I'm just happy you're smiling again," he mumbles as he heads back into the house. 

*

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Blaine yells in exasperation as he slows his car until its crawling along. It's only a flat tire, and he knows he shouldn't be so angry, but in all honestly he's been this way for a while now. It's been two months since he last saw Kurt, stepping from his car and into the darkness with tears running down his face. Two long months in which the pain has lessened only slightly, to leave a dull ache, a longing in its place which he knows can only be erased by him. 

He had thought a month in LA with Cooper would cure him, maybe help him forget the torment and shift his focus onto living again. But it only succeeded in making him miss Ohio, something he never thought he'd do, and wishing he was home for the holidays where maybe he might bump into Kurt at the mall, or ice skating. 

He's had no contact with him, apart from sending the flowers on his birthday to which there was no reply. Wes, Cooper, Jeff, even Sebastian- who Blaine is never quite sure of even after all these years- all initially agreed that this was for the best. They have each done their bit, taking him out for coffee (Wes,) housing him all over Christmas and holding him as he cried his way into the New Year (Cooper.) Getting him hideously, insanely drunk and trying but failing to set him up with any available guy (Sebastian) and clearing up his vomit stained hallway, putting him on the couch and cradling his head tenderly while he sipped at water and cried some more (Jeff.) But none of it has helped, and his friends are starting to wonder if really Blaine should try to make contact. But he is stubborn in his refusal, insisting that Kurt didn't want to see him anymore, and so it is up to him to change his mind when he's ready. 

"But he's not going to though," Wes had insisted that morning over breakfast at a diner. "He's probably sitting at home, lamenting over what could have been. There's no way he's going to call a thirty one year old guy and risk getting made a fool of again."

So Blaine finds himself driving to downtown Lima- as he has on so many weekends past- in the vain hope of spotting Kurt on the street. But whatever Kurt does to fill his weekends, it doesn't seem to involve browsing the shops or showing up to acoustic night- as Blaine hasn't seen him there either. His flat tire seems to have put paid to today's efforts anyway, and he eventually crawls to a stop in front of a garage and walks inside. 

"Hey man, problem with your car?" an extremely lanky teenager asks as he walks towards him wiping his hands on a rag. 

"Yeah. Flat tire."

"That all? Can't you do that yourself?" the kid asks, surprised.

"Uh...no. I don't know the first thing about cars I'm afraid, other than driving them." 

"Dude. That's...like... Hey! Don't I know you from somewhere?"

"Uh...no?" Blaine offers, confused. "I don't think so."

"No worries," The teen laughs and shakes his head. "I'll go get Burt for ya."

Blaine stands in the shop and looks around. It is quiet except for the distant sound of a radio and the occasional hum of some sort of machinery. He waits for a while, and begins to think maybe the teenager has forgotten about him so he coughs loudly, twice, but still nothing. Another few minutes pass, and Blaine starts to become impatient. 

“Uh... Hello?” he calls and hears a thud of tools being downed. 

“Hi,” an all too familiar voice calls back. “How can I..... Oh.” 

“Kurt.” The emotion which floods both of them is evident. Blaine actually drops his car keys in surprise but makes no move to pick them up, choosing instead to stare and stare for as long as possible. It’s Kurt alright, but Kurt as he’s never seen him before. Dressed in navy blue coveralls, with the hint of a white undershirt showing against his alabaster skin, hair mussed from lying underneath different vehicles. Blaine watches as the blush creeps across his cheeks- one sporting an oil streak- and down his neck before flooding his chest. Swallowing, Blaine forces himself to look into those eyes and realizes to his....Dismay? Pleasure? That the pull is still there. His breath catches in his throat as blue lock on gold and heartbeats quicken. 

Kurt grips the wrench he’s holding so tightly his knuckles turn white. Blaine looks good. Tired, maybe, but just as devastatingly handsome as ever, the few days worth of stubble only making Kurt’s stomach lurch in the most delicious way possible as he watches him biting on his lip. When their gaze locks it is everything Kurt can do not to throw himself into Blaine’s arms and beg to be allowed to stay there for all eternity. 

“I uh...got a flat tire,” Blaine says, gesturing lamely towards his car. “Someone said they’d fetch someone but they didn’t come back.”

“That’d be Finn,” Kurt says, his voice barely above a whisper. “He probably got distracted. That happens with Finn. I can change it,” he shrugs and walks to the back of the shop before Blaine can say anything else. He returns carrying a small tool box, and strides confidently out to Blaine’s car, ignoring the way the early february chill bites through his thin coveralls as he sets to work. 

“How have you been?” Blaine asks, so desperate to reach out and touch him that his arms physically shake from the force of his longing. 

“Um...good. Yeah. Good. You?”

“Okay I guess,” he says as he settles on the hard ground to watch Kurt work. 

“Don’t sit down there,” Kurt says over his shoulder. “There’s a customer waiting room just inside.”

“I’d rather sit and talk with you if that’s okay?” Blaine asks and feels dismayed as he’s met with only a shrug. “I uh...didn’t know you liked cars,” he offers. 

“Love ‘em,” Kurt huffs as he removes the flat tire. “Been helping dad since I was three.”

“This is your dad’s place?”

“Yeah. Name’s a bit of a giveaway,” he says, smiling softly. 

Blaine looks up at the giant ‘Hummel’s tires and lube’ sign and chuckles. “Right. Guess I didn’t see that. I just saw the pumps and figured someone could probably help.”

“Want me to use your spare or put a new one on?” Kurt asks, one hand on his hip and squinting down at him. 

“Wait a minute,” Blaine says standing. “You’ve grown,” he says, laughing in disbelief as Kurt stands at an equal height. 

“So?”

“I uh...nothing. I just...I just noticed, that’s all.” 

“I’m sixteen Blaine. I’m expected to grow,” Kurt snaps in an attempt to hide his embarrassment. 

“Clearly my sixteen year old self missed that memo,” Blaine replies and Kurt can’t help but laugh. “I’ve missed you.” Blaine knows he shouldn’t have said it, things were awkward enough and he’s only made it worse judging by the way Kurt stares hard at the ground. But he clears his throat and looks up with something approaching a smile. 

“I’ve missed you too.”

“Have you?” Blaine asks, relief washing over him. “Oh thank god. I mean I know we can’t date or anything but...”

“I am dating actually,” Kurt interrupts quickly, cheeks flaring. “I’m um...dating a guy from school.” 

Blaine actually feels his heart plummet upon hearing those words. He knows his face falls- for a second he had allowed himself to be hopeful but now those hopes have been dashed in the cruelest way possible. 

“I thought you were the only one?”

“Like you said...not everyone had come out.”

“Right,” Blaine says, shaking his head to try and focus his thoughts. “Um...Good. I guess. I’m um...pleased for you.” And Kurt tries desperately not to stagger backwards as his offhand dismissal hurts like a punch to the gut. 

“Hey there,” Blaine turns to see a man who he can only assume is Kurt’s dad walking towards them. “Finn said you needed help changing a tire. Looks like my son got to you first.”

“Yeah...um...thank you, Mr. Hummel,” Blaine says politely. 

“No worries.”

“You still haven’t told me if you want a new or use your spare,” Kurt snaps, making Burt turn to him in surprise. 

“Kurt,” he says out the corner of his mouth. “Be nice to the customer.”

“Well?”

“Uh...new please,” Blaine says, hoping that may mean he gets to hang around a little longer and talk to Kurt some more. 

“Nice car,” Burt comments, cocking his head to one side and trying to place it in his mind. 

“Thanks.”

“Come through to the office, I’ll sort out the bill.”

“Okay.” he makes to follow Burt but Kurt calls. 

“Blaine! Your keys are here,” he says throwing them to him, and it is this that makes Burt stop dead. 

“The black-car-strictly-not-a-boyfriend-Blaine? I knew I recognized that car!” Burt says in utter disbelief as he looks from the man, to his son and back again. “You been dating my son?” he says menacingly moving towards a suddenly terrified Blaine. 

“No!” Blaine cries backing out of the door and holding up his hands. “No, not at all Mr. Hummel sir.”

“Then what the hell have you been doing with him?” he growls. “And where do you get off sending him flowers like that and making him cry night after night?”

“What? I um...”

“Dad!” Kurt cries, running to his side. “Please. I told you, Blaine and I only saw each other as friends. We had a disagreement, that’s all.”

“What about?”

“I’ll tell you later,” Kurt says, tugging on his arm. 

“Tell me now. Or you tell me,” he says, turning to Blaine once more. 

“Um...”

“It was my fault. I snuck into a club, Blaine caught me and drove me home. I got mad at him for it.” Kurt says, reddening again and then staring at the ground. 

“What? Kurt! That’s not like you. Were you drinking?”

“No he wasn’t,” Blaine offers. 

“I didn’t ask you,” Burt snaps and Blaine retreats once more. 

“No dad. And please don’t be mad at Blaine. You should be grateful he was there to keep me safe.”

“Did you know anything of this?” Burt asks, pointing a finger squarely at Blaine’s chest. 

“No sir. I was out with some friends and I saw him come into the bar so I took him home. That’s all.”

“How old are you?” 

“Thirty one sir.”

“Are you gay?”

“Dad!”

“Yes,” Blaine says meekly, wincing internally as Burt removes his baseball cap and runs a hand over his bald head. 

“Right. Kurt, you listen to me.... You too sunshine, if you value your balls. I’m grateful to you for driving my son home, and Kurt, I think you were incredibly immature, stupid and reckless. Also, getting mad at him over it, when he only did the right thing, is dumb. But as for this...friendship...I gotta question what would make a guy of thirty wanna be friends with a boy of sixteen. And I can’t say I’m entirely happy about it.”

“Doesn’t make any difference,” Kurt huffs in annoyance. “We’re not friends anymore.”

“Kurt, go out the back and stay there. And don’t think this is over...when we get home you can consider yourself grounded for a month.”

“What? That's ridiculous!” Kurt fumes, and Blaine has to suppress a smirk at his diva-esque tantrum. “It happened like...two months ago.”

“Doesn’t matter!” Burt calls after his retreating back. “See?” he says, turning to Blaine once more, “Just a kid.”

“Oh I know,” Blaine says hurriedly. “And I can’t really do anything other than reassure you that I have never, ever crossed the line with your son. He was only fifteen when I first met him, and I would never....no. Just no.”

“Really?”

“Really. You have to believe me,” Blaine pleads. 

Burt looks him up and down a few times, shrugs and then walks off, returning a few moments later rolling a new tire. “I do actually,” he says nonchalantly. “You looked so horrified when I suggested it. But you do like him though,” he continues matter-of-factly as he starts to fit the new tire. 

“Excuse me?”

“You like him, he likes you. I ain’t blind. But you’re sure as hell not dating him while he’s only a sophomore.”

“No...I um...I’ve already told him that.” 

“Have you now?” Burt says looking back over his shoulder with one eyebrow raised. “And how did he take the news?”

“Um...not too well I guess. I asked if we could stay friends and he said no. That’s the real reason we fell out.”

“Yeah, that sounds like Kurt alright,” Burt laughs as he straightens up. “Stubborn as hell. He gets it from me. The good stuff he gets from his mom. So...what is it you like about him then?”

“Huh?”

“You heard,” he says folding his arms and awaiting the nervous man’s response. “What do you like about my son?”

“Um...” Blaine’s mind scrambles for a response, instantly dismissing any of the more physical suggestions. “He’s just....incredible,” Blaine sighs happily. 

“Steady.” Burt warns.

“Sorry. But he’s just so much fun to be around. And he’s funny and sweet. Smart too. He may be young but he can hold a better conversation than most adults. I notice his age sometimes, but most of the time we’re just two equals talking about stuff that interests us and cracking jokes.”

“I like you,” Burt Hummel says decisively. “By rights I should hate you, but y’know...I’ve a feeling you’re gonna end up dating him however much I kick up a fuss.”

“I wouldn’t go against your wishes.”

“You might not, but he sure would- he’s a teenager; it’s what teenagers do. But I meant what I said. No dates at the moment. Not with someone as...mature as you.”

“I don’t think you need to worry,” Blaine says despondently. He stops short of telling Burt that his son is dating someone else, figuring that’s Kurt’s news to impart when he’s ready. 

“But Kurt could use a friend like you right now, someone who’s gonna be responsible and there to listen when he needs to talk. About school, friendships, and gay stuff too y’know? I gave him a talking to just last week- but it was mortifying for us both. I can talk about the emotional side of it all, and I gave him some pamphlets but it’s not really my area if you know what I mean.”

“I understand,” Blaine says kindly, “but really, I can only be a friend to him if he’ll let me.”

“He will....eventually.”

“And in the meantime?”

“Wait. Patience is a virtue my son, patience is a virtue.”


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey, you okay?" Rachel asks as she sits down next to Kurt, narrowing her eyes as Santana sits the other side. 

"You still miss him?" Santana asks. 

"It's probably nerves," Rachel says knowingly. 

"No, it's him," Kurt sighs. "It's always him."

"Told you," Santana says, pulling a face at Rachel. 

"I saw him," he says quietly, staring at the floor. "Last weekend. He came into the garage with a flat. Ended up meeting my dad."

"You didn't tell me," Rachel grumbles.

"I couldn't. It was mortifying. My dad treated me like a kid, found out about me going to Scandals and grounded me for a month. Then when I got home he lectured me about the perils of chasing after out of reach guys. He said Blaine was trying to do the honorable thing by me, and I should give him a chance to be my friend."

"Your dad's right," Santana says.

"You went to Scandals?" Rachel shrieks.

"Oh get over it Berry, it was months ago." Santana snaps.

"And you knew about this?" she fumes.

"I gave him a ride."

"Kurt I don't believe this," Rachel says, looking upset. "I'm supposed to be your friend."

"And you'd have said no," Kurt snaps at her. "It doesn't matter anyway. What matters is that my dad made me look like a complete fool and any hope I ever had of Blaine viewing me as anything other than a friend are dashed forever." 

"Bullshit," Santana remarks, ignoring another of Rachel's eye rolls. "Stop being so over dramatic. The guy likes you as more than a friend, he's just battling with his conscience. What was it like, seeing him again?"

"Painful. I still feel exactly as I did- even stronger in fact. It just hurt more than I ever thought it would."

"It was you who called it all off," Santana points out.

"Just call him," Rachel says softly, and Santana finds herself agreeing and placing a reassuring hand on Kurt's leg. 

"I'll bet he misses you as much as you miss him." 

"No. I can't. I can't be friends with him....I just....I want him as more than that and unless he's prepared to give himself over then there's no point. Plus, there's so much I don't know about him. I'm pretty sure he drinks heavily, and I'm almost positive he sleeps around. I'm not even sure I want a guy like that, even if there is a spark between us. There's just too many unanswered questions."

"Unanswered or unasked?" Santana says, nodding when she sees Kurt's hesitation. "Thought so. Come on. Lets go kick some regionals butt."

*

"It was ridiculous!" Rachel shrieks to Finn as he pushes a despondent Artie along the corridor. Behind them trails everyone else, equally as downcast and silent for fear of feeling the full force of Rachel's wrath. Santana links her arm through Kurt's and offers a small smile as they walk.

"Kurt! Hey Kurt, wait up!"

Turning, he sees Blaine running towards him, slightly out of breath, dressed in a dark suit and holding something behind his back. 

"What do you want Blaine?" he sighs, really not in the mood for conversation right now. He hears Santana and Mr. Schue ushering everyone down to their dressing room and is grateful that he won't have to deal with the stares and endless questions. 

"I uh....I wanted to give you this," he says, holding out a single red rose. "Happy Valentines. It's a bit early I know, but...."

"You want me to be your valentine?" he asks quietly, taking the rose and sniffing at its delicate flower. 

"Um....well....y'know."

"No, I don't, because as always with you Blaine, too much is left unsaid." It's harsh, he knows. But he's had all he can take from all sides right now. He needs an outlet for his anger and unfortunately for Blaine, it's him. He stares at the floor, feeling Kurt's eyes on him as he swallows and forces himself to look up once more. 

"You were amazing today."

"We lost."

"You didn't lose."

"We sure as hell didn't win, and that's what counts. We'll be back to being the joke of the school come Monday- not that I wasn't already."

"Screw those judges, I thought you sang really well. Though I'd still like to see you do a solo sometime. You're too good to be backup to anybody." 

"Why are you here Blaine?" Kurt snaps, causing Blaine to flick his eyes downward again and release a shaking breath. 

"I don't know." 

The statement hangs in the air between them as they gaze into one another's eyes. Blaine thinks about stepping forward, taking Kurt into his arms and whispering promises into his ear, but just as he's summoning the courage to do so, a young guy with a shock of blond hair calls down the hallway. 

"Hey Kurt, you coming? The bus is outside."

"Yeah...I'll be right there," he calls over his shoulder without turning. "I have to go," he says quietly to Blaine.

"Is that him?"

Kurt pauses and then, "Yes, that's him."

Blaine says nothing, but Kurt catches his eye roll and explodes.

"What? You have a problem with this? It was you who told me to find someone my own age."

"No I just...I guess... I just kind of hoped all your firsts would belong to me," Blaine says honestly, looking Kurt square in the eye without flinching, though his heart is beating faster than he's ever known. 

"But I don't belong to you do I Blaine?" 

"I guess not," he whispers as his eyes fill with tears. 

"And I never will. You made that pretty clear." 

"Not at all! I never said that! I just said not now. It doesn't mean I don't want you in my life- you made that decision by yourself."

“But you’re not going to date me, are you?”

“Not now, no.”

"Then I don't think we have anything else to say to each other. I want a man, Blaine. Be he sixteen or thirty one. But I want a man who will make me feel wanted, desired, who will fight to get me and fight even harder to keep me."

And with that, he is gone.

*

"You're just not yourself," Blaine's mom says six weeks later as she sets his dinner on the table. "We're worried about you."

"I'm fine," Blaine says for what feels like the hundredth time since he's arrived. 

"You're not," his dad speaks up from behind his newspaper, lowering it so he can look his son in the eye. "It's coming up two years since..."

"I know that," Blaine replies tersely. "Like I need reminding."

"Honey....talk to us if you feel unhappy."

"Mom," Blaine sighs. "Luke isn't the reason I'm unhappy. It's someone else."

"You've met someone?" his dad asks in surprise. 

"Yeah...he's um..." But he's interrupted by his phone ringing, and his heart lurches as he takes it from his pocket and sees the much longed for name. "Kurt?"

"Hey..." He starts, and Blaine steps into the hallway, knowing immediately that something isn't right. Kurt's voice is high pitched and trembling, as if he's only just managing to hold it all together. "So...here's the thing," he continues. "Uh...my dad....my dad had a massive heart attack."

"What? Kurt, oh my god, is he....?"

"He's in the hospital. Um...they're not sure if he's...um...if he's gonna....make it," he stutters out as his shaking breaths fill with sobs which he tries to gulp down as best he can. "Carole and Finn are here but I just..."

"I'm on my way," Blaine says immediately, sparing him from having to ask. He dashes back to the dining room where his parents are waiting expectantly. "I've gotta go. I'm sorry. I love you both," he says, blowing a kiss from the doorway. "I'll be in touch."

"Blaine? What's going on?"

"Not now dad. I really have to go. I'll call you."

He makes it to the hospital as quickly as possible, his phone perched on the seat next to him as he drives, but it stays mercifully silent. A kind receptionist tells him where to locate Burt's room and he runs, bypassing the elevator and taking the stairs two at a time. Bursting into the corridor, he spots Kurt, curled up on a row of plastic chairs at the end of the hall, looking so lonely and afraid that Blaine feels his heart contract in pain as he sprints towards him. 

"Kurt?" he asks, falling to his knees as Kurt looks up sharply. 

"You came," he breathes, and falls from the chair into Blaine's arms as he starts to cry.

Blaine says nothing, just holds him as close as he can, rubbing small circles on his back and burying his face in his soft chestnut hair as Kurt sobs into his chest. He lifts the boy easily, and sits on a chair- easing the pins and needles in his legs but never letting go of Kurt, keeping him in his lap and cradled against him, arms strong and secure, comforting and reassuring. Eventually the sobs subside, giving way to the occasional hiccuping breath and soft sniffles. All the while Blaine is silent, his fingers drawing relentless patterns over his back. Kurt's arms drop from his neck to wrap around his waist and he raises his blotchy, tear-stained face briefly to offer Blaine a weak smile. 

"You came," he repeats simply, and Blaine nods. 

"Have you seen him?"

Kurt shakes his head. "Not yet. They won't let us. Carole and Finn went to get some food but I wanted to stay in case..." he stops as his eyes fill with fresh tears and he buries his head into Blaine's chest, fisting his jacket lightly in one hand as he tries to melt into his embrace. 

"Do you want me to get you anything?"

"No," Kurt says desperately, the sound muffled by Blaine's sweater. "Please don't leave me." 

"Okay," Blaine says simply. He shifts slightly to remove his jacket but pulls Kurt close to him once more, ignoring the stares of passers by as they gawp at the blatantly intimate embrace from the pair.

After a time, Blaine looks up to see a woman and the tall boy from the garage coming toward them. He shifts Kurt's weight from him and stands, holding Kurt's hand tightly in his as Carole smiles at him. 

"You must be Blaine," she says kindly. Her eyebrows raise slightly at the sight of their clasped hands but she says nothing, introducing herself and her son instead then sitting on the seat next to him. They make occasional small talk for the next hour but Kurt remains silent, waiting, with Blaine's fingers tightly wrapped around his. 

His mind wanders as he allows himself to imagine what life could be like without his dad. Where would he go? He guesses Carole would take him, but wouldn't that be a constant, stark reminder of the family he so very nearly had, but lost? He becomes so wrapped up in this train of thought that he doesn't notice Carole walking away to talk to someone until she is back, touching his shoulder gently and telling him the doctor has news. 

"Your dad will live," he says bluntly, and Blaine's arm shifts to hold Kurt’s shoulders tightly as he sags against him. "This time anyway. He'll be in for a couple of weeks, it was a big attack and he needs time to recover. But when he goes home he'll have to make some changes, to his diet mainly. Healthy eating, lots of exercise and so on. Carole here tells me I can rely on you to reinforce that, is that true?" 

"Y-yes sir," he stutters, eyes wide and endearing as ever as he looks at the doctor with gratitude in his eyes. "Thank you."

"No, thank you. If you hadn't acted so quickly he wouldn't be here. You can see him briefly, but he will be very weak still, and sleepy." 

"Okay."

"And then go home and get some rest," the doctor says, looking at him over the top of his glasses. "You'll need it." 

Kurt nods, then stands stiffly, rolling his shoulders and walking to the door which stands between him and his beloved dad. "Anyone coming?" 

"In a minute honey," Carole says softly. "You go first."

Burt Hummel lies in the bed, smaller than Kurt remembers him looking this morning, shrunken- as if the life has almost, but not quite, been sucked from him. Which, he supposes, is accurate. Slowly, Kurt walks towards the bed, as if fearful to make too much noise in the sterile, clinical room. Burt's gaze fixes on him as he approaches, his whole face breaking into a weak but relieved grin as he holds a shaking hand out to him.

"My boy." His voice is thin, rasping from the tubes they had inserted but Kurt doesn't care. His dad is alive, alive to hold him another day, to ground him, to laugh at him and ruffle his hair as he compiles scrapbooks of his favourite vogue outfits, to cheer louder than any other at his performances, and proudly tell anyone who will listen that his boy is the best. A sob escapes Kurt as he falls onto the bed and wraps his arms around his dad. 

"Oh god. I love you, I love you so much," he cries as Burt's arms rise to embrace him weakly. 

"I love you too buddy. Don't cry. I'm okay. We'll be okay."

"I thought I'd lost you," he sobs harder, soaking the thin hospital gown as Burt tries to soothe him as best he can. 

"Never. Can't leave you yet. Not until I see you on Broadway."

Kurt manages a small laugh. "The doc said you've got to sort your diet." 

"Did he now?"

"So I'm in charge of cooking from now on. No more takeout." 

"I'm not gonna argue, if it keeps me around longer. I mean it Kurt, I'm not ready to leave you yet." 

"I should hope not," a voice says from the doorway, and Burt smiles as Carole and Finn enter the room. More tears are shed, tears of relief and happiness as Carole clutches Burt's hand and kisses his fingers over and over again, as if she can't quite believe he's here. Finn slings an arm around Kurt's shoulders and while Kurt is grateful for the touch, he finds himself wishing it was Blaine standing by his side. 

"I um...do you mind if I get Blaine?" he asks timidly. 

"Blaine's here?" Burt asks in surprise. "Bring him in, I wanna talk to him."

Blaine is shocked and immediately worried when Kurt steps into the corridor to retrieve him, and he steps into the room nervously, wringing his hands and taking a few steps towards the bed. 

"Hi Mr. Hummel," he mumbles. "Uh...sorry to be seeing you like this, but I'm glad to hear you're gonna be okay. Uh....Kurt....called. I um...I came for Kurt. I hope that's okay."

"C'mere," an already tiring Burt croaks out, and Blaine dutifully steps closer. "Thank you for looking after my boy."

"Really, it's no trouble."

"Carole is staying here tonight, and Finn is headed to his friend Puck. Can I count on you to take Kurt home and make sure he's okay?"

"Yes sir, of course."

"And don't call me sir. It's Burt."

"Okay," Blaine says with a smile. "Thank you Burt."

"Dad, I wanna stay. Can't I stay?"

"No son. You need to rest. It's late enough already. Come back tomorrow, but for now, let Blaine take care of you, okay?"

Kurt agrees- reluctant to leave his dad, but also grateful that Blaine is there to hold a guiding arm around his waist as they walk to the car. Both are silent on the drive to Kurt's house. Blaine pulls into the driveway and walks around to open Kurt's door for him. The poor kid barely has the energy to put one foot in front of the other as Blaine helps him to the front door. 

"You'll be okay?" he asks as they step into the hallway, but his answer is met by silence. 

Kurt's throat swallows over nothing as his eyes blink rapidly and Blaine has to ask, "Do you want me to stay?" A small nod as two tiny tears trickle down his cheeks are all the confirmation Blaine receives but it's enough. He takes charge then, taking Kurt's hand and showing himself to the kitchen where he warms milk for them both before following Kurt down to his bedroom. He sets the milk on the nightstand then kneels on the floor between Kurt's legs where he's perched on the edge of the bed. Brushing his hair gently from his forehead, he offers a soft smile which Kurt just about manages to return. 

"Let's get you to bed," he says decisively. He finds pajamas under Kurt's pillow and ushers him towards the bathroom before sitting at his desk and flipping through Vogue while he waits. When Kurt emerges, face shiny and scrubbed and looking so small in his plaid pajamas, Blaine helps him into the bed, where he looks smaller still as he tucks the covers under his chin. 

"So do you....what do you.....um....I can sit here, until you fall asleep if you want? Or I can go upstairs if the idea of me watching you sleep is a bit creepy or..."

"Would you hold me?" Kurt asks quietly, unsure.

Blaine closes his eyes briefly, then flicks them open again to focus on Kurt. "Yes," he answers simply. "Yes I'll hold you. All night if that's what you want."

Kurt nods. "There are pajamas...in that drawer," he says pointing. 

Wordlessly, Blaine takes a pair from the drawer and uses the bathroom, returning to slip under the covers, more nervous than he can ever remember being his whole life through as he shuts off the light and reaches out to Kurt. Falling gratefully back into his arms once more, Kurt buries his face against Blaine's neck, breathing deeply as he feels himself start to relax. 

"Blaine?" 

"Hmmm?"

"Thank you," he whispers into his neck as he feels strong hands splayed across his back, holding him tight to Blaine's side. 

The softest of kisses comes, dropped into his hair. A barely there pressure but it sends shivers through Kurt nonetheless. 

"Anything for you," Blaine whispers, and Kurt is asleep in seconds.


	9. Chapter 9

When Blaine wakes he is lying on his back with one arm resting loosely on his chest, the other wrapped tightly around Kurt who is fused into his side. He feels a strange sensation, and realizes it is that which has woken him. Somehow- inadvertently he is sure- in the night Kurt's fingers have found their way up and under his pajama top, and are now dancing erratically over his stomach, making it flip over and over as a pleasant tingling sensation shoots through him. It is with some reluctance that he takes Kurt's hand and gently removes it, tucking it into the small gap between Kurt's chest and his side, but seconds later it is back again. Again he moves it, but again it flies back, the pressure firmer this time, a strong hand splayed insistently across his stomach, as if laying claim to Blaine even in sleep. 

So Blaine remains frozen. Kurt's hair tickles under his chin as the boy breathes against him, and he moves his other arm to encircle him, daring to trail a finger lightly over the soft band of skin exposed on his side where his pajama top has ridden up. 

"Tickles," Kurt laughs against his chest, and Blaine scrambles to pull apart, panicked. 

"Sorry. I shouldn't have....no. Sorry."

"It's okay Blaine," Kurt says, though he too is suddenly nervous and on edge. "I quite liked it," he whispers with a furious blush. 

Blaine reaches a trembling hand out to caress his cheek, smiling when Kurt closes his eyes and leans into the touch. It would be so easy, now, to kiss him. To press his lips lightly to his, opening his mouth a little wider as Kurt gasps beneath his touch. But he doesn’t. He allows his hand to linger just a fraction longer than it should, but then he’s pulling away, clearing his throat and blushing himself. 

“I’ll um...fix us some breakfast,” he mumbles. “Why don’t you call the hospital to check on your dad?”

“Sure,” Kurt says, trying not to let his disappointment show. “You can use the shower if you want, towels are in the closet.”

Blaine nods and backs away reluctantly as he watches Kurt tug his bottom lip between his teeth. He forces himself to take an ice cold shower, in a desperate attempt to keep his mind from wandering and he is grateful Kurt is nowhere to be found when he emerges. He finds him upstairs, breakfast already laid out on the table and Kurt himself pouring two mugs of coffee. 

“You didn’t have to do this, I said I would." Blaine says. 

“I wanted to,” he smiles in return. “The nurse said dad had a comfortable night. They’re running some tests this morning though, so she said it would be best to visit this afternoon.”

“Okay,” Blaine says as he takes a mug from Kurt. “I can drive you.”

“I can drive myself,” Kurt says with a small smile, watching the way Blaine’s eyes light up as he sips at his drink. 

“That’s right, I forgot. Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” he beams. 

“So I guess I’ll...um...just go after breakfast then,” Blaine says quietly, eyes downcast. He is surprised when he sees Kurt’s hands reaching out, taking his mug and setting it on the counter behind him then sliding around his waist. 

“You don’t have to,” he whispers. 

“I think...I think I do,” he whispers back. “Because otherwise I’ll do something I really regret."

“You’d regret it?” Kurt asks, pulling back to look at him with one eyebrow raised.

“Only because it wouldn’t be fair to you,” he clarifies. “You’re in an emotionally fragile state right now. Plus you have a boyfriend,” he says, grimacing on the last word. 

Kurt backs away, crestfallen, and sits at the table where he proceeds to pick at a pancake. Blaine sits opposite and they remain silent, Blaine’s eyes flicking to Kurt every so often, but he keeps his own downcast and trained on his food. 

“Kurt.”

He looks up to see Blaine, chair pushed back from the table and arms held open. Immediately he goes, curling into his lap and winding his arms around his neck, sighing deeply as he feels Blaine’s arms come around him. 

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” he whispers against him. “I made it up.”

“Why would you do that?” Blaine asks in confusion, shifting so he can see Kurt’s face. 

“Because I wanted to make you jealous.”

“You succeeded,” Blaine grumbles, face furrowed into a frown as he tries to understand.

“It’s just...I know you’re an adult, and I keep telling myself that,” he blurts, then continues quickly, “But it still hurt so much when I heard that guy in the background. Knowing you’d gone out just to get laid..”

“Wait, what?” Blaine asks, more confused than ever. “What guy?”

“The guy in the background, when I called you that morning.”

“Oh him.”

“Yeah, him.”

“But that wasn’t.....oh god. Kurt, did you really think that I’d slept with him?”

“You were at his place!”

“No I wasn’t. I was at Sebastian’s. I don’t know who the guy was. I’d been out with Sebastian the night before. I always drink a lot when I’m with him, so I left my car at his house. I needed...I was trying to forget about you. Seb hooked up with some guy, as he always does, and invited him and a group of his friends back to his house. I woke up when you called. I’d obviously passed out on the couch and I was surrounded by people I didn’t know. The guy you heard was one of them, he came to ask if I wanted coffee.” 

“Then why the hell didn’t you explain that?” Kurt yells in disbelief. 

“Because you hung up on me.”

“So call me back Blaine! Shout, yell, turn up on my doorstep and demand that I hear you out! Fight for me! Don’t leave me to think you’re some kind of....whore. Do you know how long I cried over that? Do you? It hurt so much to think that you were going to get your needs met elsewhere. That was why I offered myself up to you the following week!”

“I did wonder about that,” Blaine admits under his breath, but Kurt hears clearly enough. 

“Well now you know. I ended up making out like Sam was my boyfriend because I wanted to prove to you that I was capable of having an adult relationship.”

“Kurt...I’m not like that,” Blaine says softly. “I did try to tell you. I’m not that kind of guy.”

“But as always Blaine, you didn’t try hard enough," Kurt says, but there's no anger- just sadness which Blaine desperately wants to erase. 

“I’m sorry,” he says remorsefully. “I’m not going to pretend like I haven’t had one night stands before, because I have. But I’m not proud of that. And they weren’t satisfying at all.”

“They must have been...at the time,” Kurt says, his tone a little lighter now as he smiles and makes Blaine laugh. 

“I guess. Yeah. But after I just felt...hollow. And ashamed. It’s really just not my scene at all. That’s why Sebastian and I have such a love hate relationship. He can be a really good friend, but he’s heavily into that and I just don’t understand it at all. I want the romance, the long looks, the fluttering heart when hands meet, the nervous laughter...” and bringing his hand to Kurt’s face once more he continues, “the sweet caress, the eye contact....the brush of lips...” but he pulls away at the last minute, leaving Kurt to fall heavily against his shoulder with a groan. 

“Tease.” 

“I don’t mean to be,” he says sincerely. “I really think I’d better go home. For a change of clothes at least.”

“I have homework to do anyway,” Kurt says getting to his feet grudgingly. 

"I could come back tonight? When you’ve seen your dad?"

“Will you stay?”

“Yes.”

 

“So that’s it, they’re moving in,” Kurt continues, still astounded by the afternoons turn of events. 

“I don’t get why that’s a bad thing,” Blaine counters as he helps himself to more food. “I mean, you won’t be under so much pressure to care for your dad, and it’s obvious Carole and him adore each other.”

“They do, but now I inherit Finn. And they want to divide the basement up for us to share.”

“Oh.” 

“Exactly.”

“Well it won’t be all that bad.”

“It will. Rachel is dating him which means I’ll have to try and study while listening to my best friend and my brother alternating between making out and her screaming at him.”

“So I’ll give you a key, you can come study at mine,” Blaine shrugs, looking up to find Kurt paused with his chopsticks half raised to his mouth. “What?”

“Nothing,” Kurt answers in a slightly higher than normal voice. “Just....yeah. That sounds good. Thanks. You’d have to disclose where you live first, of course.”

“Classified information,” Blaine smiles. “Only a privileged few can know.”

“Am I privileged?”

Blaine pauses, pupils dilating as he stares into those endless pools of blue. “Yeah.”

That night, as they’re tucked up together and Blaine’s fingers are once again tracing their now familiar route over his back, Kurt asks. It’s been on his mind for so long now, but he’s held back, not wanting to push or upset him. But now he feels as if he needs to know, to be able to understand Blaine that little bit better. 

“Will you tell me why you left New York?” he says into the dark, feeling Blaine tense beneath him. 

“Luke,” he says after a while. “I was with him for eighteen months. We met at a recording studio. I was a session guitar player and he was in with his band to cut their first single. At first it was great. We had the music thing in common of course, which was good as it's such a huge part of my life. Plus we both liked the same movies, books, that sort of thing. I wasn't really looking for anything serious, but we became....absorbed in each other is the best way I can describe it. We were never apart. He would sit with me as I wrote, I'd go to gigs with him, or to rehearsals. It was very full on. I was living on my own, but he lived with all his band mates in a huge loft. I never liked being there. It was one huge open space and people just seemed to drift in and out all the time. His band mates were all straight, and seemingly had no inhibitions either. I was made to feel uncomfortable, and I used to beg Luke to come to my place. At first this suited him too, but after a while he just wanted to be with his band.   
Their single was a flop. The record label dropped them and Luke's world shattered. Two of the band moved home to their parents, but Luke and the other two stayed, tried to re-form with some others and do something different. It was around this time that I started to pull away. I had been on vacation with my parents, Copper and his family. I had such a fun time and felt so good. I was back on a regular sleeping pattern, eating properly, getting fresh air. I returned to New York refreshed and invigorated, ready to work hard- which I did. I'd never noticed how much Luke was drinking until I kept arriving at his apartment after work to find him drunk and still in the same clothes from the day before. It's like he had given up. He wasn't interested in going out or doing anything other than getting drunk or stoned- which I was never in to. So I finished it.   
He didn't take it well. He turned up at the recording studio so many times, completely wasted and begging me to take him back. They were understanding, but eventually they stopped booking me for work- understandable really. He would ring on the buzzer to my apartment in the middle of the night; I tried disconnecting it, but then he'd ring the neighbours instead. All the while his drinking and pot smoking became worse. He started doing coke to try and combat the lows from the weed, but it only succeeded in making him even more paranoid. I tried to help him, really I did. But I don't think you can help anyone unless they're willing to help themselves. The rest of the band eventually drifted away, leaving Luke to spiral further down into the pits of drug addiction and depression. And I just....I just couldn't....be around that, so I stopped all contact." 

He breaks off, sitting up in the darkness and wiping at his eyes as he sniffs. Kurt sits up next to him and holds his hand tightly in his. 

"You did the right thing," he says kindly. 

"That's not all..." he composes himself once more and continues. "I'd changed everything. I moved in with a couple of girls from college, I changed my number, my car, the whole damn lot. Then one day, almost exactly two years ago, I bumped into one of his old band members. He said Luke was worse than ever, and people had been trying to find me to see if I could help. We had been broken up a year by that point, and I had only just started to feel like me again. I said I didn't want to know and to tell Luke that too. I guess I'd like to think I'm a good person, but I went home that day feeling like the worlds biggest bastard. I thought of nothing else for two days, and eventually I took myself to see him."

There is a long moment of silence before Kurt realizes he's not continuing, so he prompts him gently. "What did he say?"

"Nothing. He hanged himself the day before."

"Jesus Christ," Kurt says in a low voice. "Oh Blaine, I am so, so sorry." 

"Yeah," he chokes out before stopping and swiping at the tears. "It was awful. He'd left a note to his parents, and the last line...the last fucking line- said 'Tell Blaine this wasn't his fault,' which of course made me think it was. But you know...we'd never said I love you, never discussed a future together...it just...was what it was. I loved him as I love any of my close friends. I cared for him, but I wasn't in love with him and I always knew my future wasn't with him. Even so...to have him...feel like that was the only option left.....it kinda fucked me up for a bit." 

"I'm not surprised." 

"I stopped all music, got a job waiting tables and another one tending bar so I could bury myself in work and forget about life. I didn't contact anyone, and eventually ignored all my parents calls. After six months Cooper turned up on my doorstep, hauled me back to LA for a couple of months before putting me on a plane to Boston, where Wes was waiting for me. Wes and I were friends at school, but I guess he was always a bit too studious for my liking- I tended to hang out with Jeff, Nick and others more, but over the next few months he really proved his worth, and has done time and again since. He quit his job and moved to New York with me, but I just couldn't settle, and he ended up working in a really shitty high school to pay the bills while I bummed around. Everywhere reminded me of Luke, and it was just too painful. So then Wes heard about a job at Dalton....and it just seemed....right. We moved back together, but I knew I had to get my own place and learn how to be me again. I've managed to pick up work through old contacts and I get regular gigs. It feels good to be involved with music again. Wes still picks me up every so often- my tendency is to sink to the bottom of a whiskey bottle whenever things get tough, but him and Cooper know me too well now." 

"So...what about now? Do you think you're over it, or.....?"

"It's nearly two years. I don't think I'll ever be over it, but I've learned how to deal with it. It's funny, a year of therapy, hours of psychoanalytical counselling and all it really took was for me to meet you."

"Me?"

"Meeting you made me feel alive again. Like I could remember who Blaine Anderson was. Most importantly you made me feel again." 

Kurt is silent after that statement, not sure of what his reaction should be, desperate to crash their lips together but knowing now is not the time or place. Blaine sits cross legged on the bed, one hand holding Kurt's, the other plucking nervously at the sheets. 

"So. That's me. That's my story. I understand you know, if you decide you don't want to continue with this," he says, gesturing between them. "Whatever this is." 

"Oh Blaine," Kurt sighs, wrapping his arms tight around him. "I'm not going anywhere." 

That night, Blaine sleeps with his head resting on Kurt's chest, feeling more content than he's ever known.


	10. Chapter 10

Burt Hummel is bored. He's been in hospital for four days, and is thinking about digging a tunnel to try and escape. Carole is now on night shifts meaning she's home in bed, Kurt and Finn are in school and the guys from the shop can only visit in the evenings, so Burt spends his days watching mind numbing talk shows or salivating over cooking shows and wishing hospital food was as appealing. He's just deciding between a rerun of Ricki Lake or Montel when his door opens and Blaine Anderson walks in. 

"Hey! Good to see you buddy."

"Hi. I hope you don't mind me visiting."

"Not at all! Really, you don't know how pleased I am to see someone who's not wearing a white coat. Take a seat." 

Blaine pulls a chair up alongside the bed and sits, nervously drumming a pattern on his knee and smiling at Burt. 

"How's my boy?" Burt asks. 

"Good! Yeah. He's good."

"Thanks for looking out for him."

"Not a problem."

"I'd a feeling you'd say that. You two sorted things out now?"

"Yes. It's all....perfect," Blaine smiles dopily and Burt rolls his eyes, though he can't help but chuckle. "It's just.... A long time until he stops being a sophomore." 

"Yup," Burt says smugly, enjoying watching Blaine squirm. "So tell me the news. How are the Buckeyes doing?" 

Blaine fills Burt in, desperate to turn the conversation back to Kurt but not wanting Burt to think that was the only reason for his visit. It was, but he doesn't need to know that. They talk about football for a while, then Burt moves onto more personal questions. How long has he lived in Ohio? What does he do for a living? Are his parents accepting? And so on and so on until nearly an hour has passed and Blaine is worn out from answering questions and finally asks one of his own. 

"Mr. Hummel,"

"Burt."

"Burt. I really, really want to ask Kurt out on a date, but I'm not gonna do that without your agreement. I know you said not while he's a sophomore but I really don't think I can wait any longer and I just wondered if maybe you'd reconsider?" he begs, looking at him with wide eyes.

"My god, for a grown man of thirty one you sure know how to turn on the boyish charm," Burt grumbles as he shifts in the bed. "Here's the thing Blaine. I mean it when I say I like you. I was so glad you came to be with Kurt. I may not know you very well, but I know you care about him and that means a lot. I could sleep a whole lot easier knowing that he was with you- even though I wasn't over thrilled to know you two were sharing a bed." Blaine has the decency to blush a brilliant scarlet and stare at the floor as he mumbles an apology. "Well anyway, Finn's there with him now. I take it you're no longer in residence in my basement?"

"No," he whispers. 

"Good. You see, it's not so much the number of years that separate you, it's more the adult and teenager thing. I'm happy for you to spend time with Kurt, take him out on dates if you really feel you must...but I'm concerned about....urges."

"Urges?"

"Don't make this any more awkward than it needs to be my son, or it'll be a flat refusal. I've had to learn a heck of a lot about gay...things....and I told you I spoke with Kurt about it. I just don't want him throwing himself into a physical relationship before he's ready."

"I understand," Blaine says quickly, "and I respect that."

"I'm sure you do. But can you keep respecting that? That's what I'm worried about. Cause gay or not, I remember what it was like to be sixteen, with hormones rushing through you and things popping up as soon as someone so much as glances at you. But that's fine, because at that age you're not expected to do much more that kiss and hold hands...and it's enough. It's enough because it's new and exciting. But I also remember what it was like to be thirty. In fact, Kurt was born the year I turned thirty so we all know what I'd been up to," he says and Blaine chuckles. "Kurt likes to please people," Burt carries on. "I wouldn't put it past him to get himself into something he wasn't emotionally ready for because he wanted you to be happy. And really, as a grown man, I worry you're not gonna be able to resist those urges. I want Kurt to experience sex within a loving relationship, and I want him to view it as an emotional connection to someone as well as a physical. That may well be with you...." he pauses to grimace and clear his throat, "but I don't want it to be before he's ready."

"Burt....I would wait for eternity if I had to. I just....need Kurt in my life. I would never, ever push him into something before he's ready. I freely admit to being a hopeless romantic. I want to sweep him off his feet, to give him the hand holding and the shy kisses. Kurt deserves all that more than anyone I know." 

Burt looks him up and down then eventually huffs. "You can date him. But I'm telling you..." he warns as Blaine's face lights up. "You hurt him and so help me god I will hunt you down and see that certain bits of your anatomy never work again. You hear me?" 

"Yes sir," Blaine gulps. 

"Good. Now, let's watch Judge Judy." 

*

Blaine watches as he comes out of school. Hunched over, holding his bag across his body to protect himself, Kurt tries to slip past the crowds unseen. He keeps his eyes trained on the ground for the walk to his car, in hope of avoiding detection, so he doesn’t notice Blaine leaning against it until his shoes come into view. 

“Oh!” he gasps, looking up in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“Fighting for you,” Blaine says simply, holding out a bouquet of bright yellow roses to him. 

“Oh?” he raises an eyebrow questioningly as he takes the flowers, trying to play it cool but a grin twitches at the corner of his mouth nonetheless. 

“I wondered if you would have dinner with me tonight?”

“A date?”

“A date." 

And this time, despite trying to keep his lips pressed firmly together, Kurt can’t help the smile which spreads, making his eyes light up and his whole face glow. 

“I’d love to.”

“Cool,” Blaine says with a matching grin. “I’ll pick you up at seven thirty.” And he saunters off towards his car, waiting until he has driven completely out of sight before yelling ‘Yes!’ at the top of his lungs and punching the air proudly.

He arrives early, but forces himself to wait until the clock on his dash shows seven thirty precisely before he climbs the steps to the porch and knocks on the door, heart beating wildly in his chest. He hears some noise, a muffled scraping sound and what sounds distinctly like Kurt saying ‘Get out the way’ through gritted teeth before the door is finally pulled open and he stands there, smoothing his shirt, a faint blush playing on his cheeks which only serves to make him look even more handsome than usual. 

“Hi,” he says breathlessly. 

“Hi,” Blaine beams, suddenly shy. “You...uh...you look amazing.” For Kurt, it is a relatively simple outfit, though it took hours to put together. A gray shirt paired with a pale blue scarf, which he just knows accentuates his eyes, along with tailored black pants. He pulls on a jacket, which looks to Blaine suspiciously like Marc Jacobs, but he doesn’t want to embarrass himself by getting it wrong, so he stays quiet.

“Thank you. So do you,” Kurt replies, and means it. “No cardigan?” he teases, tugging lightly on the lapels of his suit jacket. 

“No. A bow tie though,” he smiles before offering his arm to Kurt. “Shall we?”

“Don’t be too late,” Finn calls, suddenly appearing in the hallway. 

“Shut up Finn,” Kurt calls over his shoulder, and Blaine laughs as he guides his date to the car. “Seriously, he’s insufferable,” Kurt moans. 

Blaine takes Kurt to a small French restaurant on the outskirts of Lima, and at a candlelit table for two, he takes his hand and looks at him. 

“Rough day?”

“What makes you say that?” he asks, entranced by the way Blaine’s thumb traces patterns over his palm. 

“Just...when you came out of school you looked...kinda scared.”

“Oh no. Just trying to avoid a beating. You know how it is,” Kurt says, trying to make light of it, but Blaine is persistent. 

“I want you to promise me something.”

“What?” Kurt asks warily. 

“I want you to promise that you’ll talk to me about these things. Tell me when you’re upset, or worried about stuff. You know, Luke never spoke about any of it...and then it was too late.”

“Blaine I would never...”

“I know Kurt. But I just want to be there for you. I may not be able to stop it, but I can help you through it.”

“It’s my cross to bear,” Kurt says, shrugging.

“But it shouldn’t have to be. Please Kurt.”

“Okay. I promise,” he sighs. “But right now can we please order? I’m starving.” 

The atmosphere lightens, and their dinner is punctuated by laughter and flirtatious glances, soft touches of fingertips and longing looks until Blaine finally settles the bill and they head home. 

“I had a really great time,” Blaine says, shy again as he shuts the engine off and turns to face Kurt in the dark. 

“Me too.”

“Can I take you to a movie tomorrow?” he asks nervously. 

“I’d like that.” Kurt hopes Blaine can’t actually hear his heart thumping in his chest, but the thought of a second date the very next day is thrilling, and he tries to refrain from bouncing in the seat. 

“Okay. Well, goodnight Kurt,” he says, leaning towards him slowly, his eyes flicking over Kurt’s shoulder briefly as he laughs a breathy laugh. “And I’d totally kiss you right now, but I don’t really want our first kiss to be with Finn standing glaring at me from your front porch.”

“What?” Kurt cries, spinning around to look. “Oh for the love of...”

“Don’t worry about it. He’s being protective. It’s sweet.”

“It’s intensely annoying is what it is. Moment ruined,” he huffs, folding his arms and sliding down in his seat. 

“There will be others,” Blaine smiles and reaches a shaking hand out to cup his cheek briefly. “Or at least, I hope there will be.”

Satisfied, Kurt steps from the car, the picture of poise and decorum, then charges up the steps, arms flailing wildly as he shrieks at his new found brother. 

*

“Popcorn? Really Blaine?" Kurt asks as Blaine settles back into the seat next to him. 

“Yeah. Why not?”

“When you go on a date to the movies, aren’t you supposed to spend the whole time making out?”

Blaine chokes on a piece of popcorn then, eventually managing to clear his throat before he splutters “I don’t think...I don’t think we will be doing that.”

“Why not?” Kurt pushes, loving Blaine’s embarrassment. 

“Because I promised your dad we’d take things slow.”

“My dad?”

“Yeah, I went to visit him. I wanted his permission to date you.”

“You’ll be his new favorite person.”

“No...I don’t think I am. But he did say I could ask you out...then he threatened me.”

“Yeah, he likes to think he’s tough. Ignore him.”

“Besides, making out in public is not a good idea,” Blaine says with a twinkle in his eye. 

“Why?”

“Because if I start, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop,” he whispers directly into Kurt’s ear. 

“Oh,” he replies, snapping his jaw shut while Blaine smugly takes a handful of popcorn. 

Even so, neither Kurt nor Blaine could tell anyone what the movie was about, as too much time is spent staring into one anothers eyes and just enjoying being together to actually focus on the film. This time, Blaine does hold Kurt’s hand, locking their fingers together tightly. When the lights come up he doesn’t let go either, and Kurt has to duck his head so the general public don’t think he’s completely insane- grinning like a lovesick fool over a little bit of hand holding. Blaine walks proudly back to the car, holding Kurt’s hand all the while, and it is this that thrills them both the most. That each is proud to be seen with the other, no secrets, no worries, and no insecurities. 

“I’d ask you in, but I have school tomorrow so...” Kurt starts as Blaine pulls across the driveway. 

“And I’d accept, but once again Finn is staring me down, and as he is so much bigger than me, I’m not gonna tempt fate.”

“Seriously,” Kurt groans. “I’m gonna kill him. When will I see you?” he asks, making Blaine shiver just by trailing one finger along his thigh. 

“Uh...” he places Kurt’s hand back in his own lap in an effort to focus on the question. “Tomorrow? Acoustic night?”

“I’m um...kind of already going with some friends.”

“Oh.” Blaine tries not to let his disappointment show, making his voice light as he says “No worries. I might ask Wes if he wants to come. I’ll see you there anyway. Maybe we can do something on the weekend.”

“I’d like that,” Kurt smiles happily, and with a soft squeeze to his hand, leaves the car to chase after Finn as Blaine drives away, laughing.


	11. Chapter 11

“What’s all this?” Blaine asks Michelle when he arrives at the Lima bean the next evening. “Drum kit? Amps? I thought it was supposed to be an acoustic night?”

“It is,” she says as she continues to wipe down tables. “Just thought I’d liven things up a bit, that’s all.”

“By introducing very non-acoustic instruments,” Blaine grumbles as he heads off to his regular table, leaving her to smile and shake her head. He is joined shortly by Wes, Sebastian, Jeff and Nick- who takes great pleasure in teasing him mercilessly about his dates with Kurt, having heard all about them from Wes. 

“Tease him all you want guys,” Sebastian says with a smirk. “But I’m jealous as hell. The boy’s ass is tight, and ripe for the picking.”

“Don’t you ever make jokes about him like that,” Blaine snarls as he leans over the table and fists Sebastian’s shirt. 

“Easy Blaine, easy,” Wes calms, pushing him back down into his seat. “Seb, you’re disgusting, and if I hear you say anything like that again I won’t hold Blaine back. Coffee, anyone?” he asks, cheerily changing the subject. 

“Hey,” an exhilarated Kurt appears at their table, nervously eyeing Blaine’s friends but too pleased to see Blaine to worry too much. 

“Hey,” Blaine says, standing and sliding his arms around Kurt’s slim waist, wishing he could bury himself into that embrace and stay there, but Kurt flinches and pulls away. Blaine frowns, but introduces him to his friends, and then Kurt is smiling politely, telling Blaine he’s going to sit with his own friends in the opposite corner. 

“I’ll walk you over,” Blaine says decisively. “What’s wrong?” he asks, the second they’re out of earshot. “Did I make you uncomfortable?”

“No, nothing like that. I love having your arms around me,” Kurt smiles, a real genuine smile and Blaine relaxes slightly. 

“What, then?”

“Nothing. We just...had dodgeball in gym today.”

“And?”

“And I didn’t dodge.”

“Bathroom. Now,” Blaine says, grabbing Kurt’s wrist and steering them through the tables. “Lift,” he commands once they’re safely inside. 

“Anyone could come in.”

“They won’t,” Blaine says, wedging his foot against the door. “Now lift.”

Slowly, reluctantly, Kurt lifts his long sleeved t-shirt, wincing as he hears Blaine suppress a gasp. A livid purple bruise spreads itself across Kurt’s left side, covering his whole rib cage with a few angry looking marks dotted elsewhere. 

“This isn’t from a ball,” Blaine whispers in pained awe as he traces his fingers delicately along the shape of the bruise. “This is from a foot. I know, because I once had bruises the same. Kurt, you have to tell someone about this.”

“No, please,” he begs brokenly as he lets his shirt fall. “Please. My dad...I can’t risk it. Please.”

“But Kurt...”

“Blaine, it’s okay. I’m okay. And I’m okay because being with you makes all this bearable. Because whatever shit they put me through, I have you to ease my pain and make me smile again. It’s the weekend now. I just want to enjoy tonight and look forward to our date tomorrow. Please?”

“Okay,” Blaine says reluctantly. “But if it happens again I’m going into the school.”

He means it, Kurt can tell, so he takes his hand and squeezes gently, trying to reassure. “I’m sure it won’t. Now come meet my friends and then we can all oggle you as you perform.”

The step back out into the coffee shop, now noticeably busier and Blaine stops him, there by the bathroom door but still in full view of everybody, and take his hands in his. 

“I just want you to know...” he starts, lowering his voice and stepping closer to him. “That I think you are incredibly beautiful, and I’m so proud to be dating you.” he smiles then, it’s slightly wavering as he thinks of the broken and bruised skin hiding underneath all those layers, but it’s a smile nonetheless, and it becomes even brighter when Kurt returns it with a dazzling grin of his own. 

“Thank you,” he whispers. “That means everything.”

Kurt introduces him to his friends while the performances carry on in the background, knowing Blaine has no hope of remembering anyone’s names except Finn and Rachel. 

“And this is my teacher, Mr. Schue, and that’s Brad the piano guy,” Kurt finishes up, as a man with glasses raises one hand in greeting. If anyone notices the glare Schue is shooting at Blaine, no one chooses to comment.

“Wow. I didn’t realize there were so many of you coming. I’m nervous now.”

“It’s only the Glee club,” a girl- Santana, Blaine thinks it is- purrs at him. “Find your inner diva. I saw you perform at Wild. I know you can do it.”

“Yeah...acoustic nights aren’t really about being a diva though.” Blaine says politely. 

“You know, Kurt can be quite the diva when he wants to be,” she remarks. 

“Oh I don’t doubt it,” Blaine replies, eyes fixed firmly on Kurt who blushes. “I’d better get going, I’m next up. Nice to meet you guys,” he says politely then takes his place on stage. 

He plays a few of his old favorites, eyes flitting between his friends and Kurt and his table, who sing along loudly to his rendition of ‘Piano Man.’ He stands, picking up his guitar and walking to the microphone stand. 

“So uh...this is my last one for tonight, and um...well...it’s for Kurt.”

He looks over to where Kurt sits, Rachel and Santana either side of him and almost laughs at the comical, open mouthed expressions on their faces. Kurt, for his part, looks breathtaking. His eyes are wide, head cocked slightly to one side as he listens and Blaine starts to sing. 

We’ll do it all  
Everything  
On our own.

We don’t need  
Anything  
Or anyone. 

If I lay here,  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me  
And just forget the world?

I don’t quite know  
How to say  
How I feel

Those three words  
Are said too much  
They’re not enough

If I lay here  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me   
And just forget the world?

Forget what we’re told  
Before we get too old  
Show me a garden  
That’s bursting into life.

Let’s waste time  
Chasing cars  
Around our heads

I need your grace  
To remind me  
To find my own

All that I am  
All that I ever was   
Is here in your perfect eyes  
They’re all I can see

If I lay here  
If I just lay here  
Would you lie with me  
And just forget the world?

He plays the final cord and dares to open his eyes. He’s been worrying about this moment ever since he decided to sing this song to Kurt. He’s laid his heart on the line, but when his eyes open and he sees Kurt’s face break out into that glorious smile he loves so much, the relief rushes through him and he jumps from the stage and goes to him immediately. 

“Well?” he asks, breathless with excitement. 

“I loved it,” Kurt says, spinning in his chair and ignoring the commotion around him as everybody starts to leave their seats. “And I’d love nothing more,” he whispers as he starts to lean closer. 

“Kurt, come on!” Rachel calls and Blaine bows his head frustratedly. 

“Sorry...I’ve just...” and with that, Kurt is gone, weaving his way towards his friends. Blaine trails dejectedly back to his table and slumps down in his seat. 

“Maybe, when we’ve been dating for twenty years I’ll finally get to kiss him,” he moans as Wes laughs and pats his arm sympathetically. 

“You’ve waited months, what’s a few more minutes? And I’m sure it’ll be worth it,” he says, nodding towards the stage. Unbeknownst to him, while Blaine has been grumbling to his friends, Kurt and his- including Brad the piano guy- have commandeered the stage, despite the fact that Blaine is usually the closing act. Kurt now stands dead center, clutching the microphone stand nervously. His brother sits behind the drumkit, two of his friends hold guitars and Blaine suddenly realizes that the presence of these instruments has been planned all along. Turning in his seat, he catches Michelle’s eye, who shrugs and smiles before going back to the register. Kurt doesn’t speak, just nods once and the music starts. Closing his eyes, he allows himself to float on the gentle piano melody as he opens his mouth to sing. 

“How can you see into my eyes like open doors  
Leading you down into my core  
Where I’ve become so numb  
Without a soul  
My spirit sleeping somewhere cold   
Until you find it there and lead it back home.”

“Holy shit!” Sebastian exclaims. 

“Told you he could sing,” Blaine says proudly. 

“Did you know he could sing like that though?” Wes asks. “He’s incredible.”

“He’s mine.”

A beat and then Kurt’s eyes fly open as the music and his voice soar together.

“Wake me up inside  
Wake me up inside  
Call my name and save me from the dark  
Bid my blood to run  
Before I come undone  
Save me from the nothing I’ve become

Now that I know what I’m without   
You can’t just leave me  
Breathe into me and make me real  
Bring me to life

Frozen inside without your touch  
Without your love darling  
Only you are life among the dead

Wake me up inside  
Wake me up inside   
Call my name and save me from the dark  
Bid my blood to run  
Before I come undone  
Save me from the nothing I’ve become

Bring me to life.”

Kurt’s voice soars higher than ever on the last note, which he hits perfectly and holds, as the girls finish their backing vocals softly behind him and the music fades away. A clear and concise moment of silence falls in the coffee shop before Mr. Schue leads the way, erupting into loud cheers. Blaine’s table call for more, but both Kurt and Blaine pay no heed to any of it as Blaine pushes to the front of the stage where he lifts Kurt down gently, setting him on his feet before cradling his face tenderly in his hands. 

“Incredible,” he whispers and unable to resist any longer, he brushes his lips gently over Kurt’s. They stare at one another, pupils blown to black by the softest of kisses. “What time does your bodyguard want you home?”

“He...he doesn’t. He’s uh...sleeping at Pucks.” Kurt breathes, suddenly filled with desire and longing the like of which he’s never known. 

“Would you like to come to my place?”

“Yes.”

He takes Kurt’s hand immediately, they say no goodbyes, just walk quickly to Blaine’s car and drive. It is late by the time Blaine pulls up to a quaint red and white house which Kurt immediately loves. 

"You own this?" 

"Yup," Blaine says proudly. "My first place. Come on, I'll show you around." 

Blaine's taste in decor is much more homey than Kurt imagined it to be, the house is warm and welcoming with an enormous, purpose built music studio added on to the back of the house, complete with recording studio, instrument room and another room which is full of all kinds of audio equipment that Kurt doesn't even try to understand. They walk back through the house, Kurt taking in various pictures on the walls, and into the hallway where Blaine pauses at the bottom of the stairs. 

"Um...do you want to sleep here tonight? I mean, you don't have to," he adds quickly, "I don't want you to think that's why I asked you here. It's just....if I drive you back to Lima it'll be late and I..."

"Relax Blaine. Yes, I would like that."

"I mean you can have your own room if you want, I have..."

"Blaine. It's not like we haven't spent the night together before." 

"No. I just want you to be sure." 

"I'm sure." 

And suddenly the spark is ignited once more, the tension between them palpable as Blaine nods his understanding and taking Kurt's hand in his, leads them upstairs. He pushes open a door at the end of the hall and shows Kurt into his room. Flipping a small side lamp, he kicks his shoes off and watches Kurt as he moves about the room. It is large, with pale blue walls and dark wood floors. A large bed stands center, a door in the corner leading to what Kurt assumes is a bathroom. The room is sparsely furnished- certainly in comparison to Kurt's own room back in Lima. A large chest of drawers with a tv mounted on the wall above stands facing the bed between two dormer windows. A nightstand either side of the bed and that's it. The room is elegant, understated and so calming that Kurt feels as if he could fall asleep immediately- that is until Blaine takes his face in his hands once more and all thoughts of tiredness are forgotten. 

"I really wanna kiss you again," he says, voice husky with desire and lips inches from Kurt's. 

"I'm not stopping you," he whispers, and leans in as Blaine presses his lips to his own. There is slightly more pressure behind the touch than at the coffee shop, but not much. Even so, it causes them both to gasp and stare into wide eyes before Blaine surges forward again and claims Kurt's mouth in a deep kiss. His hands never move from Kurt's face as he guides him, moving his lips so Kurt's mouth opens a little bit wider under his touch before he pulls away again, leaving them both breathless. 

"Wow," Kurt rasps, surprising himself with how low his voice has become as Blaine presses their foreheads together. 

"Yeah," Blaine's voice is breathless with euphoria as he struggles not to push Kurt on the bed and fall on top of him, and suddenly he sees why Burt was so concerned. "Uh...maybe we should...."

"Kiss again," Kurt finishes for him, winding his arms around Blaine's waist as he joins their lips again. Moving his hands to Kurt's hair, Blaine inclines his head this time as the kiss intensifies, opening his mouth wider and moaning when he feels Kurt do the same. Daringly, he runs his tongue along Kurt's lower lip before nipping at it slightly, and is rewarded by a whimper from Kurt who has become loose and pliant in his arms. Passion clouding his brain, he backs them closer to the bed, Kurt's knees hit the edge and Blaine moves his arms to grip tightly around his waist as he lowers him to lie back against the pillows. Grabbing his face, Kurt pulls him closer, and as they continue to kiss his tongue meets with Blaine's, who tangles his fingers tightly into his hair as a response. He is half on top of Kurt now, and as they kiss heatedly Blaine becomes more and more turned on by the soft whimpers and moans escaping Kurt trapped happily beneath him. He dares to tangle his fingers into Blaine's curls and tugs gently, then freezes as Blaine growls in pleasure and grinds against him. 

"Shit!" Blaine exclaims, sitting up and running a hand through his hair. "Sorry. I....I need to stop."

"Why?" 

"Because I...Oh my God look at you," he exclaims as he takes in the delicious sight of Kurt, hair mussed and lips swollen and red with kisses, lying back against the pillows regarding him with wide, innocent eyes. "Because..."

"Because I'm only sixteen," Kurt says with a sigh as he covers his face with his hands. 

“No,” Blaine says, removing his hands and forcing eye contact. “Because this is the best thing I’ve ever had and I don’t want to mess it up,” he says with a light kiss to the tip of his nose.

“Oh.”

“Oh indeed.”

“You mean that?”

“I do,” he grins brightly. 

“But what if I don’t want to stop?”

“You do Kurt, trust me.” Blaine says with an indulgent smile. “You might get carried away in the heat of the moment but we both know we’re not ready for too much right now. I’m gonna find you some pajamas, then I’ll go fix us a drink, okay?”

Kurt agrees reluctantly, and stands in front of Blaine’s bathroom mirror staring at his reflection. His lips look like they’ve been stung by bees, and his eyes have changed color from blue to black. If this all comes from a mild makeout session, what more is there to come? He grins back at himself, excited at the prospect of finding out, but his smile falters when he removes his shirt to be faced with a stark reminder of his reality. He touches his fingers to the bruise lightly, hissing in pain as he presses into the sore muscle and aching bone. Tears come to his eyes, tears which he tries to blink back rapidly as he hears Blaine moving around in the bedroom. 

“Kurt? Are you okay in there?”

“Yeah,” he calls back, voice wavering slightly. “Um...do you have any ice?”

“Oh god I forgot! Hold on.” He hears retreating footsteps, a few doors being opened and closed downstairs and then he’s back, tapping lightly on the door which Kurt opens a crack. 

“Thanks.”

“Want me to help?”

“You’ll just get mad at me.”

“No I won’t. It wasn’t your fault.”

“No,” a stubborn Kurt mutters, and shuts the door. Blaine hears him huffing and puffing under his breath as he tries to reach around to hold the ice in place. 

“Come on Kurt. Just let me do it. I’ll keep my eyes closed if you want.”

“No.”

“I made you hot chocolate, and it’s getting cold.”

“No.”

More huffing and puffing plus a few expletives which cause Blaine to smile until he remembers that Kurt is probably in needless agony only due to his stubborness. 

“For goodness sake Kurt. I should be able to help put ice on my boyfriend when he’s in pain.”

The door flies open and Kurt stands there bare chested, Blaine gawping shamelessly. 

“I’m your boyfriend?”

“Huh?”

“Blaine,” Kurt snaps, “My eyes are up here. Did you call me your boyfriend?”

“Yes. You are, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know. I’d like to be.”

“Then you are.”

“Oh.”

“Now come here.” Taking his arm, he gently lifts it, holding the ice pack carefully along Kurt’s side and over his ribs. All thoughts of this being Kurt’s naked chest beneath his fingertips fade away as he concentrates on trying to ease his pain. “Better?” he asks as he kisses his cheek softly. 

“A little. Thank you.” 

“Here,” Blaine says, tossing him his pajama top. “Get in and make yourself comfortable. Whatever side you like.”

He changes quickly and emerges to find Kurt sat in the middle of the bed, sipping on his hot chocolate. 

“I said pick a side, not commandeer the whole damn bed,” he grumbles affectionately as he slides in and takes Kurt’s empty mug. 

“Makes no difference. You’re going to hold me all night anyway,” Kurt says matter-of-factly, then places a soft kiss to the corner of Blaine’s mouth. 

“Is that what you want?”

“More than anything.”


	12. Chapter 12

Cracking one eye open, Blaine notices Kurt propped on one elbow, smiling softly and contentedly down at him, as if all his dreams came true the night before and he’s checking that it is indeed reality. Spring sunlight streams through the windows as Blaine stretches and yawns. 

“Mornin,” he grins lazily, pushing himself up to seek Kurt’s lips, but the boy backs away. 

“Morning breath,” he mutters. 

“Don’ care.”

“Well I do!” he exclaims, blushing in what Blaine thinks is the cutest way possible. 

“Come on,” he says, taking Kurt’s hand and leading him to the bathroom. He finds a new toothbrush under the sink, hands it to him and they stand watching each other in the mirror. Brushing teeth side by side seems like a weirdly intimate act, but they do nonetheless, Blaine turning his back at Kurt’s insistence when he has to spit. Rinsing his mouth, Kurt stands holding the toothbrush, unsure of what to do. Blaine takes it and slots it into the beaker alongside his own, stepping back and admiring his work with a smile. “Perfect.”

“How’s your side?” he asks as they climb back under the covers. 

“Not too bad,” Kurt mumbles, clearly embarrassed. 

“What’s up?”

“Just don’t like talking about it, that’s all.”

“Then we won’t- for now. Just tell me if it’s hurting you and we can put some more ice on it,” Blaine says kindly, holding out an arm and Kurt curls into his embrace gratefully. “So...any plans for today?” he asks as casually as possible, hopeful that any plans he does have involve him. 

“I should go and see dad at some point,” Kurt muses. “But other than that....spending the day with you?” he turns to rest his chin on Blaine’s chest who looks down at him as his fingers dance over Kurt’s back. 

“I’m all yours. Anything particular you’d like to do?”

“Spend the entire morning in bed making out with you,” Kurt replies decisively, and Blaine gulps. 

“You’re gonna be trouble, aren't you?” He’s only teasing, but Kurt’s face clouds with worry. 

“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable,” he says quietly. 

“No, you don’t. Not at all. Honestly. I’d tell you if I was.”

“Can we agree to that then?” Kurt asks as he shifts his weight, wincing slightly from pain. “That if either one if us is uncomfortable, we’ll say? Cause otherwise I’m gonna spend the whole time worrying and so are you. You’re paranoid that you’ll push me too far, but I swear I will say if it’s too much.”

“I think that sounds like a very sensible thing indeed,” Blaine says and can’t resist dropping a kiss to his forehead. “Just know that if I do back away, it’s not because you’re not wanted.” Blaine’s voice has that sudden dark edge to it as he stares into Kurt’s eyes. “It’s the opposite.” 

“So...is this okay?” Kurt asks, and he moves to lie on top of Blaine completely, legs straddling the tops of his thighs as he drapes his torso over him and places his arms over his shoulders. 

“That...that would be...that...yes,” Blaine stutters, making Kurt laugh before his eyes turn a shade darker and he’s finally kissing him. Kurt directs the kiss this time, hands caressing the curls at the back of Blaine’s neck. His confidence boosted by managing to reduce Blaine to a gibbering wreck, he enjoys teasing him; kissing deeply, teasing with his tongue before pulling away, smiling softly as Blaine leans up for more. He does this over and over, until Blaine fists his hair to hold him in place and really devour him. He rolls them over, taking care not to hurt Kurt but then that raw passion is back, the one which clouds his judgement so, and he’s nudging Kurt’s legs apart with urgency as he tilts the boys neck and trails kisses along to just underneath his ear. 

“Oh my god Blaine!” Kurt cries. 

His shout only spurs Blaine on further, scraping his teeth along the sensitive flesh before nipping at the skin just above his collar bone. Kurt’s hips thrust upward wildly and he gasps when he feels how hard Blaine has become through the thin cotton pajama pants. There is a fleeting moment of panic, but then Blaine starts to suck at his neck and all coherent thought is lost. Before he knows what is really happening, his hands are up and under Blaine’s pajama top, nails digging sharply into his skin as Blaine pushes his groin into Kurt’s thigh. Thrusting upwards again, Kurt grips Blaine’s hair tightly in one hand, his lips still attached to the graceful curve of Kurt’s neck. 

“Oh god oh god oh god,” he chants as he feels their erections rubbing together.

“I've got to stop,” Blaine pants, pulling back to look down at Kurt, hair wild and eyes blacker than night. “I'm so sorry.”

"Don't be," Kurt grins, falling back onto the pillows with a blissed out smile. Blaine can't help but smile too, knowing that for now this is enough for Kurt. He hovers over him, kissing him lightly, chastely on the lips and smoothing his hair from his forehead. 

"Watch some tv. I'll be back in a while." 

Kurt finds the remote and sets about flicking through the channels, still smiling to himself at the memory of Blaine, hot with desire and lust, grinding against him. And then he sits bolt upright as it hits him. Creeping out into the hall, he can see the door to the bathroom at the end of the hall is closed. He runs back into the room and dives under the covers, grin wider than ever and perilously close to giggling uncontrollably as he kicks his feet. If he was cruder, he would text Santana right now and tell her the effect he's had on this man....but he doesn't- knowing he would blush a thousand shades of scarlet when he saw her face to face. So instead he keeps it to himself and tries to act nonchalant when Blaine returns, looking content and happy as he crawls across the bed and pulls Kurt's arm around his shoulders. 

"Cuddle," he says simply, and Kurt happily pulls his other arm over so he can hold him properly. 

"Feeling better?" 

Acting nonchalant flies out of the window. 

"Sorry," a clearly embarrassed Blaine mutters against his chest. "You just....had an effect on me."

"When you kissed my neck it kinda....made me feel like every bit of me was on fire."

"Yeah....you might need to wear scarves for a few days," Blaine says, looking up with an apologetic smile. 

"I don't mind. I liked it....when you pushed against me like that. It felt good." Kurt is blushing now, still finding it difficult to talk about anything remotely sexual. 

"Hmm. Too good."

"If we hadn't stopped, would you have....um....y'know?"

"It's okay to say it Kurt. Would I have come? Yes."

"Just from that?" 

"Like you said, it feels good. But it's not just that, is it? It's everything. Holding you, kissing you, being able to taste your skin under my tongue....because it's you." 

"I don't think I understand." 

"Okay." Blaine props himself up on his elbow to try and explain further. "I can get myself off....as you have no doubt realized. It feels good, and I can think of certain things, or watch films....whatever. I can go with a guy and get off with him, cause certain stuff just feels good and will give you an orgasm. But then there's you. You who makes me go weak at the knees just from a single look. You touch my hand...just my hand, and there's this spark that ignites. And it connects on a much deeper level than just sexual. Yes, touching you, being with you is undeniably hot as hell, but it's mind, body and soul that connects, it's about much more than just the physical pleasure."

"Is that what my dad was talking about? When he said he wanted me to use sex to connect with someone?" 

"Yes. And I gotta tell you Kurt....I've never had that with anyone before." 

"Really?"

"Really."

"So you do want to have sex with me then?"

"Seriously." He rolls his eyes affectionately and pulls him closer. "What man wouldn't?"

"Straight ones, probably. And most gay ones."

"That's crap. And anyway, it doesn't matter, cause you're mine. Not anyone else's." 

Kurt says nothing, only pushes Blaine's head back onto his chest so he won't notice the damn grin that he just can't seem to shift. He notices the rapid heartbeat though, but since his is the same he doesn't mention it. They lie in contented silence, napping occasionally, Kurt's arms smoothing over Blaine's back as he cuddles tight against him. Eventually they start to share lazy kisses, which stay that way until Kurt's hands find their way into Blaine's hair and tug- something he is fast discovering is Blaine's weakness. 

"No," he laughs against Kurt's red lips. "Come on. Lets go out for brunch, then I'll drive you home."

"Will you come visit my dad?" 

"Really? Must I? I don't know if he'll want to see me." 

"Of course he will. And if he doesn't, I do."

"Then I will." 

"So....I still haven't spoken with you about your song choice," Blaine says over a huge plate of bacon and eggs.

"Too girly?" 

"No! And quit with that. Jesus, the effect you have on me....no girl has ever done that to me. No guy either for that matter." 

Kurt ducks his head and pushes his own eggs around his plate with his fork, that now familiar heat stirring in his belly as he thinks back to how it feels to have Blaine on top of him.

"You were incredible, Kurt," Blaine continues as he reaches across the booth for his hand. "I knew you could sing but seriously....me and all my friends were in awe. You have to sing more. Honestly, I've never heard a voice as exquisite as yours." 

"Thank you. It was for you, so...yeah. I'm glad you liked it. But I don't think I'll be singing more. Rachel sings most of the stuff...and if it's a duet she usually sings with Finn. Mercedes sometimes gets a go but..."

"Then you've gotta stand up for yourself," Blaine says firmly. "I'm not saying you have to fall out with Rachel over it, or be a diva, but you need to talk to your teacher about this. You put a voice like yours out there next year and I'm telling you, you'll go to nationals." 

"I don't think..."

"Please, do it for me. Tell them you want a fair chance at getting solos. You want to go to NYADA right? Then you've gotta get more solo work."

"I'll try."

Seemingly satisfied, Blaine drops the subject for the rest of their meal, but once they're in the hospital parking lot he turns to him. 

"Could I record you one day? Singing that?" 

"Oh! Um..." Kurt flounders, unsure. "Can I think about it?" 

"Sure." 

"I'm not happy with you," Burt says when his son enters the room. "And I'm certainly not happy with you," he says, pointing at Blaine with a glare. "Where were you last night?"

"At home," comes Kurt's swift response. 

"Don't lie to me."

"He was with me," Blaine says as he stares at the floor. 

"Thought as much." 

"But I swear, I never..."

"We talked about this Blaine!" Burt thunders. "You sat in this room and you gave me your word that you wouldn't try anything before Kurt was ready."

"And I didn't. Honestly." 

"You took him home! My son is sixteen years old and he's spending the night with a guy in his thirties. What part of that do you think is okay? Yes, you stayed with him last week, and I was grateful that Kurt had someone around to comfort him when things were rough. But from what Finn said, things were far from rough last night. I am so disappointed in you. In both of you." 

"Sorry," they both mumble. 

"I said you two could date and date is what I meant. You can see each other once during the week and whatever you want on weekends provided Kurt's homework gets done. And Blaine, I expect you to be at our house every Friday for dinner."

"Why?"

"I told you," Burt says gruffly. "I like you."

"Funny way of showing it," Blaine mutters under his breath. 

"But dad, Blaine has acoustic night on a Friday," Kurt tries, but his dad isn't backing down. 

"You can go after. And then Blaine can drive you home. But that's it. You date. No sleepovers, no sneaking out after dark, and you're certainly not to go back to his place on your own."

"Dad!" Kurt cries, thinking of his toothbrush awaiting him. "You can't ban me from Blaine's house!"

"I can and I will. I'll ground you too if you don't quit moaning. Now. Some good news. Doc says I'm doing great and can come home on Monday." 

"Great," Kurt mumbles. 

"Might wanna try a little more enthusiasm there buddy."

"I am pleased. Really. It's just..."

"It's just you're mad at me right now. I get it. But I'll still need you to come get me after school Monday, Carole's at work." 

"I have Glee," Kurt moans. 

"So skip it."

"Uh...I could come get you?" Blaine offers tentatively. "I mean...if you were okay with that."

"Don't you have a real job? You said you wrote music."

"I do, and I play, but I'm not booked to play on Monday, and I can write whenever as long as I turn it in on time."

"Huh. Well in that case, thank you." 

"No problem." 

Kurt is entirely silent and downcast for the journey back to his house, staring at his hands and refusing to answer any of Blaine's questions. He gives up after a while, figuring Kurt will talk when he's ready, which he does as soon as they pull up to his house. 

"I'm so sorry," Kurt says in a small voice. 

"What for?"

"My dad."

"He's just protective that's all," Blaine says sweetly, taking Kurt's hand in his. 

"Yeah but...you must feel like you're dating a kid."

"No," Blaine says, "I feel incredibly lucky to be dating such an amazing guy. If I saw you as a kid I wouldn't be dating you."

"Still...you can do what you want. You don't have stupid dumb rules and curfews to keep to."

"But I did, when I was your age."

"I'll understand if you don't want to you know."

"Kurt. I waited six months to ask you out. I knew the situation, we pushed it too far with you sleeping over but you know what? It won't always be this way. And in a few years we'll be curled up in bed together and you'll say 'do you remember when my dad wouldn't let me sleepover?' And we'll laugh because it will seem like a lifetime ago." 

"You think that? You think that there will still be an 'us' in a few years?"

"Um....yes?" Blaine says hopefully. "Is that too much? Am I too eager? Tell me, if I'm getting in too deep." 

"No, you're not." Kurt says quietly, then kisses him softly, hoping his lips can convey what his voice cannot. He breaks away, holding Blaine's forehead against his, enjoying the closeness and the way his breath washes over him. "So....could I take you out tomorrow?"

"I'd like that," Blaine replies and Kurt's insides jolt happily at the look of delight on his face. 

"I'll pick you up at eleven." 

"I'll be ready."


	13. Chapter 13

"Do you realize we've been dating two months?" Blaine asks as he stops the car outside Kurt's house. 

"Oh?" he replies, trying to act nonchalant and not as if he really has been counting the days on his calendar. 

"Happy?"

"Yes and no," Kurt answers honestly. 

"Why do you say that?"

"Happy dating you. More than happy. But....just kinda fed up with all the dumb rules. I think we're gonna have to get married before we can dare to share anything more than kisses," he says, and then his eyes fly wide and he's backtracking as fast as he can. "Not that you have to marry me. I didn't mean that. I wasn't saying..."

"Kurt, relax. It's fine," Blaine laughs. "I know what you mean. But I wasn't aware you wanted anything more."

"Um...yeah," he says, not looking at Blaine's face but focusing instead on the strong hand clasping his thigh. He's not sure exactly what it is he does want, but he just knows that every time they finally get a chance to steal passionate kisses, his jeans grow tight in seconds and he silently wills Blaine's hands to move. 

Anywhere. 

Everywhere.

"Mmmm," Blaine says with a wicked grin. "Y'know, it's the summer soon. Maybe you'll just have to sneak out to my house one day," he says against his neck, drawing him closer and making him shiver.

"I could manage that," Kurt says weakly, arching his neck in the hope Blaine will mark him, but he pulls away. "Hey!"

"Sorry. But I can't. Not parked across your driveway with the curtains twitching every ten seconds."

Kurt lets out a frustrated breath and bows his head onto Blaine's shoulder. "When do you go to Nashville?" 

"Monday."

"I have a sleepover at Rachel's tomorrow," he moans.

"You'll love it. I'll see you again soon."

"But you're going away though," he pouts. "Maybe I'll cancel on Rachel."

"No you won't. I'm going to Jeff's for pizza anyway. It'll be fine. We can go five days without seeing each other, and I'll call you every day. Now kiss me, quickly before I get yelled at for taking too long." 

Leaning across the dash he kisses Kurt deeply, fiercely, daring to run his tongue into the heat of Kurt's mouth, who responds eagerly with a soft moan. Neither get to revel in it for long though, before Burt's voice comes booming from the front porch. 

"Say goodnight, Anderson. That's all. No need to eat his face." 

Blaine raises a hand in polite acknowledgement, then kisses Kurt once more, chastely. "Go. I'll call you when I get home."

 

"Seriously, it's like...."

"Dating a kid?" Sebastian offers helpfully. 

"Shut up. No. It's not actually," Blaine says with a playful punch to his arm. "And for your information he's more mature than you."

"Ooh," Jeff laughs, causing Sebastian to pout slightly. 

"It's just....tough. He's amazing and...."

"Oh be quiet," Sebastian moans. "We're trying to watch a movie."

"Come with me," Wes says, leading the way down the hall to the kitchen where Blaine follows. "So, where is Kurt tonight?"

"Having a sleepover with Rachel and some others."

"And it's not going well or....?"

"No, it's going really well. I can't get enough of him. But that's the problem. I can't get enough of him. I take him out, we go to dinner or the movies whatever, but it's all in public. I drive him home and say goodnight then just as we're...making out... his dad appears on the porch. It's mortifying."

"And the Friday dinners?"

"Are great actually, and I have fun. I like his family- even his dad in a weird way. But we're not even allowed down to his bedroom together. It's a joke."

"Are Finn and that girl allowed to his room?"

"Rachel. And no. It's not like they're singling me out. But you know....I don't even want him alone for anything....sexual. I just want to be able to wrap him up in my arms, or put my head on his chest. Hell, I want to be able to cook him dinner at my house!"

"Calm down," Wes says soothingly patting his hand. "Have you told Burt this?"

"No."

"You should. He's a decent guy. He must be appreciative of the fact that you've stuck to your word. You've done all that he asked of you for two months. Just talk to him. Explain that you want to invite Kurt to your house, and tell him why."

"But...what if something does happen?"

"Do you want something to happen?"

Blaine says nothing, only nods slightly as he stares at the floor. 

"Do you think Kurt wants something to happen?"

Another nod. 

"Then don't beat yourself up over it. Let things evolve naturally. You know, in a funny way, I envy you."

"Why?"

"If- or rather- when things happen between you two, it will be because you're comfortable with one another and confident in your feelings toward each other. You two have had the chance to really get to know each other, not many adults really do that before they're falling into bed. It's....quaintly cute."

"It's frustrating. But he's worth it." 

"Blaine.....are you in love with him?"

Immediately defensive, Blaine folds his arms across himself as his eyes dart this way and that. "What makes you say that?"

"Because never, in all the years I've known you, have I seen you like this. You're happy, calm, collected...not drinking....he's certainly having an effect on you."

Blaine ducks his head shyly, hesitating for a long time before he looks up to Wes with a soft smile. "I don't wanna scare him,” he whispers, letting out a long sigh. "But honestly? I can't imagine my life without him in it." 

Pulling him into a tight hug, Wes pats his back reassuringly. "You need to talk to Burt." 

 

"I just don't like you being away," Kurt moans down the phone the following week. 

"I know. But it's only one more day. I'll be back for Friday dinner."

"Great," Kurt says sarcastically. "We can make small talk with my family and if we're really lucky we might get to hold hands under the table." 

Blaine laughs, a sound which makes Kurt warm inside and he snuggles down further in his bed, wishing for all the world that he could feel Blaine's arms around him right now. 

"Ugh, it's so hard," he groans.

Another laugh from Blaine. 

"Behave. You know I didn't mean that," Kurt huffs and then adds quietly. "Although...."

"Kurt?" Blaine's voice suddenly sounds closer than ever as he rolls onto his back in the hotel bed and presses the phone to his ear. 

"Hmm?" he questions in what he hopes is an innocent manner. 

"You know what to do about it then," Blaine whispers in a husky voice. 

"Are you joking? I'm not about to let you listen to me getting off down the phone."

"I wasn't suggesting that," Blaine says lightly. "But if you're offering...."

"I'm not," he snaps, deeply embarrassed. "I just.... Oh god." The moan and sharp intake of breath which Blaine hears goes right to his cock as he feels himself starting to get hard. 

"Kurt?" he asks again, voice low and gravelly with desire. "Are you touching yourself?" 

"No...I just...adjusted things. And it kinda felt....."

"Good?"

"Yeah," he breathes. 

"Just go with it," Blaine urges. "You have before, right?"

"Um yeah. But I just...not often." 

"Fuck. Kurt....you're so...."

"Dumb? Innocent?"

"Hot."

"Oh." 

"Kurt...you make me so damn horny." It's the most blunt Blaine has ever been, and once Kurt is over the initial shock, he runs an experimental hand over himself, through his pajamas.

"Do I?"

"Yes."

"Like what? Um...in what ways?"

"You do this thing....this thing where you look down and then look back up and your eyes just seem brighter than ever. It makes me want to kiss you until I can't breathe."

"Go on," Kurt whispers as his fingers dip under the waistband of his boxer shorts. 

"Your neck. The other night, when we were watching that movie at your house, you turned to say something to Rachel, and I just stared at your neck. It's so damn beautiful, so graceful. And I thought back to that first morning at my place, when I could taste it, run my teeth over it and mark you...."

"Holy shit," Kurt breathes as he finally gives in and takes his now aching cock in his hand. 

"I wanna do it again," Blaine continues as he palms himself roughly through his briefs. "I wanna feel your skin against me Kurt."

"Yes...yes."

"Do you want that too?"

"More than anything," Kurt groans. "I want to touch you....I want to touch you like I'm touching myself right now."

"So you are?"

"Yes."

"Fuck. Oh god that's...that's just.... Okay, I'm gonna go."

"What? No!" 

"I am. Cause the first time we go that far....I wanna see it. I want to see you fall apart at my hand. So I'm gonna hang up, and you're gonna think of me, kissing you, running my hands over you, touching you wherever you want."

"Oh God," a now trembling Kurt whimpers as he strokes frantically. 

"And I'm gonna think of you too," Blaine whispers. "Goodnight gorgeous boy." 

The line goes dead and Kurt comes, biting into his fist to keep himself from crying out, falling weakly back on the bed as he looks at the streaks of white decorating his hand and stomach. Blaine bucks up into his fist and comes with a shout, quivering and trembling as he falls onto his side and reaches lazily for tissues. He cleans up and then reaches for his phone once more, snapping a selfie of his blissed out face and sending it to Kurt. 

Hope it was good for you ;-) xxx

The reply is almost instant. 

It was actually.

You're blushing right now, aren't you?

Might be.

Damn. See, even that is hot. 

Go to sleep. I'll see you Friday. 

Sweet dreams gorgeous boy xxx

You too, old man. ;-) xxx

 

“Are you incapable of working nine to five like the rest of us?” Burt huffs when Blaine walks into the shop. 

“Good morning to you too. And no, not incapable, I just choose not to. Actually I’ve been in Nashville playing guitars for a country album,” Blaine says cheerfully, handing Burt a coffee. 

“So I hear. And what’s this?”

“What does it look like?”

“Okay, what’d you want?”

“Does me bringing you coffee have to mean I want something?”

“Yes.”

“I want to ask Kurt to my place for dinner tomorrow night.”

“No.”

“Hear me out a second,” Blaine says as he follows him to where he’s working on a truck. “I’ve known Kurt for eight months now, and I’ve been dating him for two of those. I have always done right by him, and apart from that one time, I haven’t put a foot out of line. You laid down the rules and I followed. But I really feel- we both really feel- that we need to be alone at some point.”

“Did he put you up to this?”

“No.”

Burt goes silent, ostensibly looking over the trucks engine, but in reality trying to come up with a counter argument, feeling shocked when he realizes that actually, Blaine has a point. “Huh. Well, I guess you can,” he grumbles. 

“Thank you,” Blaine smiles, then decides that since Burt seems in an amiable mood- for him- he’ll push his luck that little bit further. “Um...could he...maybe sleepover? It’s just,” he rushes on, “by the time I drive him back here and then drive back to Westerville it’ll be really late and...”

“He has a car. He can drive himself.”

“I know, but that wouldn’t be a very courteous way for me to treat my date now, would it?” 

Burt turns to him with a look- the look- then turns silently back to the truck, making Blaine sweat it for a while. He makes him wait ten minutes, ten excruciating minutes during which Blaine sits in silence, drinking his coffee and wondering if he’ll be made to wait all day. Eventually, Burt downs tools with a huff and turns to face him. 

“Is this so you two can have sex?”

Blaine chokes on his last mouthful of coffee but recovers quickly. “No! Honestly, no. Um...we’ve never done anything even remotely pertaining to that so...no. We’re not um...at that stage.”

“Good.”

“You do realize Kurt will have sex at some point though, right?”

“Yes. Thank you for you invaluable insight. Kid, when you’re a father I’ll remind you of this moment. The thought of your own kids growing up...it’s terrifying. The only thing I can be thankful for is that Kurt isn’t gonna get anyone pregnant. I know he’s gonna want to do stuff, experiment, fool around. It’s just a little unnerving to think he’s at that stage already.”

“I think...actually I know, that Kurt really listened to you when you talked with him. And you did good. I never had that talk. My parents are fine, but they didn’t really know how to discuss sex with their gay son, they made my brother do it. And though his words will stay with me for life, it’s for all the wrong reasons. I listened to you too you know. Kurt and I...it’s special. I really care about him. Probably even more than that, but those are my sentiments to voice to Kurt first and no one else. Our relationship stands on equal footing. We both give and take from it, and the age difference really doesn't matter. When we do decide to take that step it will be because we both matter to one another enough to go that far. But we’ll never find that out if we’re never allowed to be alone.”

“Tempting,” Burt says but there’s a twinkle playing in his eye and he returns Blaine’s smile. “Blaine...I gotta say, I’ve been hard on you. It’s not easy, watching Kurt date. And I worry. I worry he’ll get hurt. He’s so sensitive, and eager to please. Sometimes I think people take advantage of that. But...and it pains me to admit it- if he had to be dating anyone, I’m glad it’s you. You treat him with respect, you’re polite in our home and he thinks the sun shines out of you. You’ve impressed me, the way you stuck to the rules, never pushed, never challenged or tried to tempt Kurt to break them, and I should probably thank you for that.”

“Well, I just really want to be with him so...”

“Exactly. That’s what all this has proved to me. If- and I mean IF I allow you to spend the night together, are you gonna want this to be a regular thing, or what?”

“Um...I hadn’t really thought about it. I was kinda hoping he could spend time with me in the summer, maybe a few nights here and there? I don’t know.”

“I’ll allow it,” Burt finally concedes. “But once he’s back at school for junior year the sleepovers stop.”

“Okay,” Blaine agrees, too happy to do otherwise. “Oh, and one more thing.”

“Pushing it, aren’t you?”

“I wondered if you and Carole would like to come for lunch on Sunday....with my parents.”

“Oh. Um...yeah. That would be good. Thanks,” Burt says, completely astounded as well as amazed that he didn’t ask that first to get on his good side. “Well, since you’re here you may as well make yourself useful, pass me that wrench.”

“I don't know which one that is,” Blaine admits quietly. “I’m hopeless with things like this,” he says gesturing around the garage. 

“Time to learn.”


	14. Chapter 14

Blaine watches for Kurt coming out of school. He’s been much happier recently, the physical violence seems to have stopped, and Kurt tells Blaine he can ignore the name calling and snide comments, knowing he has a happy and caring relationship to fall back on, whereas they only have their hatred and loathing of themselves and others. Blaine is glad, and of course happy that Kurt is happy, but it still angers him to think that other people feel it acceptable to hurt others in this way, and the school turns a blind eye. Still, it is a laughing and smiling Kurt that emerges today, arm linked through Mercedes with Santana on his other side. It is her who sees Blaine first, and nudging Kurt she points towards his car. Blaine laughs as his eyes go wide and he sprints toward him, leaping into his open arms and wrapping his legs around Blaine’s waist. 

“Oh my god!” he shrieks, raining kisses over Blaine’s face who finally finds his lips and captures them. 

“Hmm, I might go away more often if that’s the welcome back I receive,” he says, nuzzling his face against Kurt’s cheek. “I have missed you so much.”

“Me too. But what are you doing here? I thought I wouldn’t see you until later.”

“Fighting for you,” Blaine says, setting Kurt on his feet but keeping him wrapped tightly in his arms. 

“You don’t need to fight for me any more, silly,” Kurt says affectionately. “I’d have thought it was perfectly obvious I’m yours.”

“I came to visit your dad.”

“Oh?”

“Because I do need to fight for you Kurt, for us. I need for us to have some time alone. You want that too, right?”

“You know I do,” Kurt replies, winding his fingers into the back of his hair. 

“So....Would you like to come to my place for dinner tomorrow night?”

“Yes!” Kurt squeals, unable to help himself.

“And sleep over?”

“Seriously? My dad said this was okay?”

“He did. He also said you can sleep over a few times during summer break.”

“Wow.”

“So you will?”

“Yes,” Kurt replies though this time there is a trace of uncertainty which Blaine doesn’t pick up on. 

“And um...I kind of invited your dad and Carole to lunch on Sunday.”

“Oh.”

“And my parents.”

“What?” Kurt says, his face turning dark. “Are you kidding me?”

“No. I really want them to meet you, and I figured it might be easier if your dad was there too.”

“Why? They know we’re dating, right? You did tell them, didn’t you?”

“I did,” Blaine confirms. “But they don’t know how old you are.”

“Holy crap Blaine! That’s not fair. To them or to me. It’s gonna be awful.”

“No it won’t. They’ll be surprised I guess, but they’re not gonna make a fuss. They’re not like that. They’ll love you. And they’ll love your dad and Carole too.”

“What if they tell you to end it?” Kurt asks, suddenly panicked.

“They won’t,” Blaine laughs softly. “But even if they did, what business is it of theirs? I’m thirty one...”

“Nearly thirty two.”

“Quiet,” Blaine laughs. “My life is my own Kurt, I can do what I want. And what I want to do is be with you.” He kisses him softly then, but pulls back after the briefest of touches. “When did you become taller than me? That is seriously not fair.”

“Quit moaning Anderson,” Kurt teases. “By the time I’m done you’re gonna need to stand on a box to reach these lips.”

“Best take full advantage right now then,” he says, cupping Kurt’s jaw and leaning up slightly to kiss him. 

“Faggots.” 

Blaine’s eyes snap open immediately as he looks for the culprit. His eyes find a group of jocks in letterman jackets standing across the parking lot and pushing Kurt to one side, he runs. 

“Blaine! Blaine leave it, they’re not worth it!” Kurt calls as he runs to catch him, but it’s no use. 

“What the fuck did you say?” he roars, fisting the jacket of one and slamming him against the car. “What the fuck did you call us? Huh?”

“N-n-nothing dude!” the boy chokes out. “Nothing. It was him,” raising a trembling finger he points to a large guy who towers easily above Blaine, staring him down. 

“Yeah, I called you faggots,” he sneers. “Cause that’s what you are. Filthy fucking faggots.”

The boy hits the ground before he knows it, still unsure how, seeing as no punches were thrown. But then suddenly Blaine is over him, hauling his face up to meet his as he holds the collar of his jacket. 

“I should beat the living shit out of you,” he seethes. “But I’m better than that. I’m better than you. Just know that if you harass my boyfriend again, I will find you. Now get the fuck out of here.” he slams him back to the ground again and stands, taking Kurt’s hand in his and leading him back to the car. “You okay?”

“I’ll see you at home,” comes the terse reply, and he gets in his car and leaves before Blaine can say anything else. 

“Where’s Kurt?” he asks Carole after she shows him inside. 

“He went right down to his bedroom, didn't even say hi,” she says eyeing him warily. “Did you two have a fight?”

“No. Can I go down and see him?”

“I guess. Burt’s not home yet anyway.”

He flies down the steps, his heart twisting when he sees Kurt lying on the bed wiping away tears. “Kurt? What did I do? I thought...”

“You made it a whole lot worse is what you did!” he cries, turning to face him. “Karofsky, the guy you floored, is the worst one of the lot. He’ll be waiting for me on Monday. I don’t know where, I don’t know when, but he will wait all day for the perfect opportunity. I’ll be looking over my shoulder the entire day, frightened to go to the bathroom, scared to walk to my next class...You don’t get it do you Blaine? I know you’re trying to protect me, but you’re just making me an even bigger target than I am already.”

Blaine’s face drops and he looks almost in pain as Kurt’s words hit home. Then suddenly, Kurt is in his arms. “I’m sorry,” he says as he hugs him fiercely. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think I just... they made me so angry. I don’t want you called stuff like that because you’re perfect. I was just...”

“Fighting for me?” Kurt whispers, a sad tone to his voice as he takes Blaine’s face tenderly in his hands. 

“Yes.”

“Blaine....I get it. And it’s sweet that you want to, but really, the biggest help you can be to me is just by being there, as someone to talk to, to listen to me. Really, don’t try and fight this battle, because we’re never gonna win. I know it won’t be forever, and someday it’ll be just an uncomfortable memory- one which I’ll be able to say you helped me through.” 

“Are you mad at me?” Blaine asks, his face contorted with worry- worry which Kurt tries to erase by gentle kisses to his cheeks. 

“Never,” he says firmly

“Good.” Burt’s voice booms into the bedroom, causing them both to leap apart. “You can come back upstairs then. You can have all the fun you want to tomorrow,” he calls over his shoulder, then stops and turns. “Well. Within reason.”

“Dad,” Kurt groans as he holds his head in his hands. 

“Just...be safe.”

“Oh my god,” a now mortified Kurt cries. 

“I mean it. You know Anderson....you know.”

“Yes Burt,” he smiles sweetly. “Come on Kurt,” pulling Kurt up the stairs they trail after Burt into the living room. “Your dad and I can tell you all about the car we fixed today.”

“That was a truck.” Burt huffs.

“Whatever.”

“You fixed a truck? Really Blaine?” Kurt laughs in disbelief. 

“Really. That’s why I met you from school. I called in this morning to talk to your dad and ended up staying the whole day.”

“Did you wear a coverall?” Kurt asks as under the disapproving glare of his dad, he snuggles into Blaine’s side. 

“Yes. Yours.”

Everything inside Kurt jolts at this information, as an image of Blaine, greasy, sweaty and oil stained in a white undershirt and navy blue coverall springs into his mind and refuses to go away.

“Oh my god that’s hot,” he whispers into Blaine’s ear, laughing quietly at the way Blaine actually shivers and the hairs rise on his arms. 

“I will pretend like I didn't hear that,” Burt grumbles as he turns the volume up on the tv. “Blaine, I’ll get you a coverall of your own.” 

Blaine says nothing, only tries to hide a grin as they stare at the tv. Kurt is content to play with Blaine’s fingers, clasping and unclasping his hand and circling his palm every now and then until his dad eventually goes to help Carole in the kitchen. 

“Seriously, you stayed all day?”

“Yeah. I haven’t been home other than to throw my bags in the hall, I just came right from the airport.”

“You didn’t have to you know. You can say no to him.”

“I know, but I didn’t want to. I actually had a really nice time. I think he likes me.”

“I know he does, he says it often enough. He’s just protective of me, that’s all.”

“So you like the thought of me in your coverall, huh?” Blaine asks cheekily, drawing Kurt tighter against him and running his fingers along the small strip of skin on his back, exposed where his t-shirt has ridden up. 

“Hmmm, I do.” Kurt’s hands rise to the open neck of Blaine’s shirt, trailing into the ‘v’ shape and making him shudder with pleasure. Blaine dares to sneak a kiss, wishing with every fiber of his being that they were alone right now. 

“You’re lips are just....exquisite. I could kiss you forever.”

“Dinner,” comes the boom of Burt Hummel. They pull apart- again- and Burt smiles smugly to himself as they all go into the kitchen. Blaine hangs back, tugging Kurt back against his chest so he can whisper in his ear.

“Tomorrow can’t come soon enough.” 

 

"Seriously, stop smiling at me like that, you're beginning to creep me out," Kurt moans. 

"I can't help it," Blaine replies as he squeezes Kurt's thigh tightly. "I am ridiculously excited."

"I hadn't noticed," comes the wry response, and Blaine winces internally. 

Blaine has been practically bouncing with excitement ever since picking Kurt up. He keeps looking at him as an enthusiastic, hungry puppy might eye his dinner, though Blaine would prefer to say as a respected jeweller might eye a rare diamond. But something is off, and Blaine knows. Kurt's smile is tight, and it doesn't reach his eyes; when he had kissed Blaine hello, it had been on the cheek and not on the lips like usual. His body language too, is tense and guarded. Blaine has tried to drag Kurt into the excitement, but to little avail. Still, he rushes to open the door for him when he pulls the car to a halt in the driveway, and clasps his hand tightly as he leads him into the house. The day is hot, and Blaine throws open the kitchen doors leading onto the patio. 

"So I thought we could eat outside," he rambles nervously as he takes various ingredients from the fridge. "We don't have to of course, if you'd rather stay in we can..."

"No, no. It's fine," Kurt says distractedly as he wanders around. 

Blaine watches as he walks out onto the patio and stands, hands in pockets, sighing heavily as he looks out over the yard. 

"You okay?" he asks softly, wrapping his arms through his from behind. 

"Yeah."

"Sure?"

"Of course," Kurt says with forced brightness, and Blaine decides to let it drop for now. 

"Wanna help me make dinner?"

"I'd love to." 

And Kurt's usual demeanor returns as together they make pizza and a salad, laughing and teasing as they feed one another bits of food before they finally settle at the table. Dusk is starting to fall, and Blaine is dismayed to find Kurt drawing away again like the sunlight during the course of their meal. He gathers the plates, telling Kurt to settle on the porch swing while he loads the dishwasher. Stepping out onto the patio with a slice of cheesecake triumphantly in his hand, his heart twists as he catches Kurt swiping at a tear. 

"Okay, what's up?" he asks as he seats himself next to, but not touching him. 

"Nothing."

"Don't do this Kurt. You've been off since you got in the car. Every so often you return to yourself and I think that whatever it is has passed, but then you go quiet and your eyes cloud over. Something's wrong. Just tell me if I've upset you."

"No...." Kurt starts hesitantly. "You haven't upset me."

"It was you who said we should always be honest with each other Kurt, so please be honest with me now. When I mentioned dinner yesterday, you were as excited as I was."

"I was....I am.... Dinner was....wonderful. Being here with you, right now, is wonderful. You are wonderful."

"But?" Moving closer, he takes Kurt's hands in his and tilts his face to look into his eyes. As always when their eyes meet, Kurt finds it such a moment of breathtaking beauty that for a second he is rendered speechless. His eyes fill instantly with tears at the thought of potentially hurting this amazing man, but he knows he must speak his mind. 

"I um..." he flounders for a moment and stares down at their clasped hands before continuing. "I don't want you to think I'm just a kid...... Which I guess I am anyway. But I just.....shit, this is so hard. After our...um...phone call....the other night. Um...just say it Kurt....okay....okay," he breathes deeply, looks up into those golden eyes and blurts, "I'm ready for something, but I don't know what. The only thing I do know, is that I'm not ready for full sex yet. I'm sorry. I don't want to let you down, but I just.....can't."

Blinking rapidly, Blaine clears his throat and smiles at him softly. "Neither am I." 

"What?"

"We're not there yet, Kurt. I told you before, I've had one night stands and it was fast, rough and unfulfilling. I've seen you without a shirt once, and that was to apply ice. I don't want to mess this up between us. I want to savor every touch, every kiss, and when we go that far I want it to be a natural progression. I feel the same as you....I want to take things a little further, but honestly, I didn't invite you to sleepover just so we could have sex." He turns to sit sideways on the swing, swivelling Kurt around to do the same, then slotting his legs over his, moves forward so they sit facing one another where he takes his hands and kisses each of Kurt's fingertips in turn. 

"So....why did you then?" Kurt asks, knowing he should be quiet and enjoy the moment but unable to let it rest. 

"I asked you to stay because I want to hold you all night. Because I want to wake up in the morning with my head on your chest and be able to kiss those beautiful lips right away, and not have to drive nearly two hours to do so.......Kurt, I asked you to sleepover because I love you." 

"You what?" Kurt whispers, wondering if he has drastically misheard.

"I love you. I am completely head over heels in love with you. I never, ever want to let you go. You are all I think about, and when I'm not with you my arms ache to hold you again and my lips become desperate for your kisses. I think I fell in love with you before we even started dating. That first time we went for hot chocolate and you asked me if I believed in soul mates? I knew I had found mine already." He ducks his head shyly as the enormity of what he's just said washes over him. "And I'm gonna shut up now before you run away and never return," he whispers with a nervous laugh playing into his voice. 

"Blaine?"

"Hmm?"

"Look at me." Blaine looks up, a moment of panic setting in as he watches two tears rolling down Kurt's cheeks, but then he speaks. "I love you too."

"Really?"

"Really. And I know people will tell me I'm ridiculous to think I can be in love at my age and blah blah, but...I know. I can't explain how I know, but I just know that I will never love anyone else the way that I love you."

Blaine leans forward, offering the softest of kisses which Kurt eagerly accepts, winding his arms around Blaine's neck and running his fingers into his hair. He tries to deepen it, but his weight and the motion of the swing combine to tip him forward and he lands in Blaine's lap in the most spectacular style, the pair bumping noses and laughing together as Blaine lies back and pulls Kurt on top of him. 

"Mmmm, feed me cheesecake," he whispers happily into Kurt's ear. 

"Not a chance. It's all mine."

"But I thought you loved me?" His mock pouting makes Kurt laugh loudly as he eventually rolls off him and collects the plate. 

"I may withdraw that statement if it means you eat all the cheesecake."

"I'm willing to share."

"Good. In that case, consider yourself still loved." 

They share the cheesecake, Kurt lying half on top of Blaine as he feeds him forkfuls and laughs at his over exaggerated noises of appreciation. And then they just lie there, content to be held by each other- Kurt feeling so relaxed in his boyfriends arms that he doesn't even flinch when he feels a strong hand working up under his shirt and resting firmly on his back. His own hand runs a trail along Blaine’s buttons, his other arm tucked around his waist, still not feeling quite brave enough to seek out flesh. Still, he feels Blaine shiver beneath his touch, an action he reciprocates as the breeze blows across them. 

“Cold?” Blaine asks into his hair. 

“A little.”

“Come sing with me,” Blaine says, taking his hand and leading him into the house. 

“Is this how you spend your evenings?” Kurt asks as they enter the music room. 

“Pretty much. I often get hit with an idea of a song to perform and just need to try it out right away. Next thing I know it’s three in the morning and I’ve been sitting here for six hours.”

He settles behind the piano and starts to play a few random melodies, messing with the lyrics and enjoying watching Kurt trying to hide his giggles. 

“You haven’t played a club in a long time,” Kurt comments, leaning on the piano next to Blaine as he continues to play. 

“Nah,” he says, fingers flying over the keys as he scrunches his nose. “I prefer it when my boyfriend watches me play. I always perform better when he’s watching.” His melody stops abruptly when he sees Kurt bow his head. “Hey, don’t be sad.”

“But it’s my fault.”

“No it’s not, it's your dad’s fault for not having you ten years earlier,” he teases gently. “There’s time. Once you turn twenty one I’ll drag you to every club that’ll book me, just because I can. It doesn’t bother me Kurt, if I wanted to play them I would, but I’d rather be with you.” He resumes playing once Kurt has kissed him softly on the lips, to a tune Kurt is unfamiliar with. 

“What’s that? Did you write that?”

Blaine nods, his shy nervousness evident as he closes his eyes and ducks his head. 

“But that’s really good,” Kurt says, astonished at the beautiful sound coming from the piano. “Do you ever write songs?”

“Sometimes,” Blaine says over the music. “But only if something really moves me to do so. Maybe I’ll write one for you one day,” he adds with a soft smile.

“Do I move you then?” 

“In more ways than one,” he says with a dirty wink, which makes them both laugh much to Blaine’s relief as he’s still unsure how far to push it. “C’mere,” he says, reaching for him and pulling him down onto the piano bench, “Sing with me.”

“What do you want so sing?”

“Something silly. How about this?” he asks, launching into the first few bars of ‘Don’t go breaking my heart.’

They waste the next few hours in this way, side by side at the piano singing various duets, from ‘You’re the one that I want’ to ‘Endless Love,’ from ‘Islands in the stream’ to 'A Whole New World,' then Kurt yawns suddenly, and Blaine looks at his watch. 

“See, that’s what happens. It’s late,” he says, standing. “Um...”

“Yes,” Kurt says decisively, standing and placing a lingering kiss to his lips. “Take me to bed.”


	15. Chapter 15

“W-What?” Blaine stammers as Kurt presses himself closer. 

“Take me to bed. Touch me, make me come undone.”

Blaine searches for any hesitancy in those eyes, but sees only calm assurety, so he nods and taking Kurt’s hand, leads him silently up the stairs. Once in the bedroom he flicks a small lamp on, then turns to face Kurt in the dim glow. 

“I don’t know what I should do,” he whispers, more nervous and fearful than he ever remembers being before. “I don’t know what you want.”

“Neither do I,” Kurt admits quietly. “Just....kiss me?”

“I can do that.” 

His heart beats unreasonably fast as their lips meet, but it is only seconds before that dam bursts and tongues join together, soft whimpers turn into moans and hands start to wander. It is Kurt’s trembling fingers that find Blaine’s buttons first, popping each one frustratingly slowly as they continue to kiss. With each button, Kurt trails his fingers down the gap he has created, sighing in relief when the shirt falls to the floor and Blaine stands there in his undershirt. Running his hands over strong biceps and broad shoulders, Kurt dares to place kisses down his neck, scraping his teeth just as Blaine had done to him the last time they were here. 

“Oh god....Kurt....can I?” Blaine asks, tugging at the hem of his shirt, to which Kurt murmurs his agreement against the salty taste of Blaine’s neck.

Blaine’s work is quicker, as he eagerly pushes Kurt’s shirt to the floor and immediately tugs at his t-shirt. “Please,” he moans. A fleeting moment of wonder ensues, when he marvels that here he is at thirty one, nearly falling apart at the prospect of seeing his boyfriend topless, but then he remembers this is Kurt. Kurt who in his eyes, equals perfection. Kurt who is now tugging on his own undershirt. 

“You too,” he says in a voice that sounds so unlike his own that it causes him to pause. 

“It’s okay,” Blaine whispers softly into his ear. “Just relax.”

“I really wanna see you."

Their lips meet in yet another kiss, Blaine's hands moving to frame Kurt's face before finding their way to pull his own undershirt off, followed by Kurt's. In the semi-dark they face one another, chests heaving with desire before Blaine grabs Kurt and pulls him against him, letting out a guttural moan as he finally gets to feel Kurt's skin against his own. 

"Fuck," he mutters as he wildly kisses and runs his tongue over him, mapping out contours of collar bones and shoulder muscles. "So beautiful, Kurt. So, so beautiful." 

Kurt's breath hitches as Blaine's tongue travels lower, flicking firstly over one nipple and then the other, the soft chorus of "oh's" coming from his lips urging Blaine on. Strong hands support his back as he is gently lowered onto the bed, and then Blaine is over him, sucking dark red marks onto his neck and another one just above his right nipple, which makes him squirm uncontrollably as he fights to stave off his impending pleasure. Nudging gently at his shoulder, Blaine eventually gets the message and rolls onto his back, allowing Kurt to straddle him and run his hands reverently over his chest, enjoying exploring the way his chest hair feels under his fingers before he lowers his face and kisses there, then down, trailing his tongue down to his belly button before he grasps at his belt buckle. 

"Can these come off?"

"If you're sure," Blaine replies, looking down at him and licking his lips. "Cause I gotta be honest, I don't think I'm gonna be able to stop."

"I'm sure," Kurt nods, then sets to work. He gets his pants open, but Blaine wriggles out of them himself, lying back on the bed to watch Kurt's face as his eyes rake over his body, going wide at the sight of his erection only just managing to stay contained in his black briefs. 

"Yours?" Blaine asks and Kurts nods his assent, standing and carefully lowering his jeans before getting back onto the bed and curling himself into Blaine's side, suddenly shy. 

"Don't hide," Blaine whispers, a protective arm around his shoulders as he rolls his weight on top of him once more. "You are so beautiful. I love you Kurt. I want to make you feel so good." 

"Yes," Kurt whispers desperately against his lips. "Please Blaine, I love you so much." 

Their kissing becomes sloppy as Blaine pulls Kurt's leg to wrap around his waist, lining himself up and grinding against him. The action causes Kurt to jerk upwards wildly, and Blaine can see a dark spot appearing on his gray boxer briefs already. He grinds again, harder this time as he works his hands underneath to hold Kurt closer to him. 

"That's so- that's so...." Kurt cries.

"I know. Just go with it," he whispers hotly, and he starts to build a rhythm, rubbing his hard, aching cock against Kurt's, their underwear providing just the right friction as within seconds Kurt is shaking, fingers digging into Blaine's back as he rises to meet him again and again. 

"Blaine, Blaine," he chants, almost hypnotically, Blaine moving his teeth to his neck again. "Oh fuck, Blaine!" 

"It's okay, I've got you, it's okay," he murmurs, dropping a kiss into his damp hair before returning to his neck. "I love you Kurt." 

And Kurt lets go, giving himself over to wave upon wave of pleasure which washes over him repeatedly as he cries out, body pushed hard against Blaine who keeps thrusting against him throughout, with soft whispers of encouragement in his ear before coming himself, both of their cocks pulsing together as they clutch desperately at whatever part of skin they can reach.  
Kurt shudders hard once more then falls back limply on the bed, one hand finding the back of Blaine's neck and pulling him down into a deep, blissed out kiss, his tongue winding its way lazily into his mouth. 

"That was amazing," he grins, giving a small laugh. "I can't believe that actually happened."

"Hmm." A deliriously happy Blaine rolls to his side, propping himself up on his elbow to look down at him with a smile. "Watching you come has to be the hottest thing I have ever, ever seen."

Kurt says nothing, only bites his lip as his cheeks flush pink, making Blaine laugh and kiss the tip of his nose. 

"Go take a shower," he says kindly. "Throw your underwear in the hamper and I'll wash it tomorrow."

Kurt tries not to let his awkwardness show, but he visibly winces as he walks to the bathroom and closes the door, leaving Blaine to fall onto his back and smile at the ceiling as he hears the shower start to run. He drifts off, only waking again when he hears Kurt clearing his throat nervously. 

"Holy shit," Blaine says sitting bolt upright. Kurt stands there, fresh from the shower with one of Blaine's towels wrapped around his waist, water droplets trailing down his chest and neck which are marked heavily from Blaine's efforts. His skin is so perfect, his body so smooth and sculpted that Blaine can't help but kneel on the bed, collecting a drop of water on his tongue and licking a line from Kurt's collar bone to just underneath his ear. "Sorry," he whispers, "I just had to."

"S'okay," Kurt shivers. "I just came to say my bag is still in the car. Could I um...maybe borrow something?"

"You know you can," Blaine says, dropping a kiss to his lips just because he can. "Just find whatever you want in my closet. I'll be back in a moment." 

He showers quickly, pulling on a pair of old, comfortable training shorts before making his way to the bed. Kurt is curled up on his side, covers drawn up to his neck and eyes closed tightly. Blaine slides in behind, more than happy to feel that Kurt is topless still as he circles his arms around his waist and nuzzles into the back of his neck. 

"G'night gorgeous boy," he whispers affectionately. 

"'Night," comes the response then uncontrollable laughter as he feels Blaine jump. 

"I thought you were asleep!" 

"Not yet." Kurt laughs. "I wanted to say something."

"Oh?"

"I wanted to thank you. For making me feel so safe, and loved, that my first time with someone....like that...was incredible. You're perfect."

"I'm not," he chuckles softly, "but thank you anyway. I'm not perfect at all, but together we are and that's what counts. And you know what? It was just as amazing for me- simply because it was you, and I'm in love with you."

"I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing that," Kurt says into the darkness, and Blaine hears the smile in his voice. 

"Good, because I'm never gonna tire of saying it. I love you, Kurt."

"I love you too old man."

 

Blaine wakes to soft kisses being trailed along his forearm, and smiling into the back of Kurt's neck he opens one eye to see they are still in the same positions from the night before. He hums contentedly and draws Kurt tight back against him, splaying his hand across his chest and idly circling one nipple with his finger. He notices Kurt tense almost immediately, and he moves his hand to stroke gently along his neck instead. 

"Too much?" he asks sweetly. 

"No," Kurt replies, voice breathy and high pitched. "It's just....um....you're really hard. And it's kind of....pressing into my back."

Blaine chuckles and Kurt's insides do a funny little flip at the noise. "Sorry but you just have that effect on me. Here," he says, and pulls Kurt further up the bed, effectively sliding his clothed cock into Kurt's ass crack, making the boy shudder. 

"That...that's....um....new."

Blaine laugh is all out this time, but his voice turns deep and sultry as he speaks directly into Kurt's ear. "Good?"

"Yeah," comes the whispered response, and Kurt notices the way in which Blaine's cock twitches at the sound of his voice. 

"And this?" he asks, returning his hand to his chest once more and thumbing over his erect nipples. 

"Oh god yes," Kurt moans, and is rewarded with another twitch. He needs more, and finds himself reaching back to grab Blaine's ass, pulling him unfathomably closer and trying to urge him to move. Blaine understands, and grips his hip tightly, thrusting and grinding against him, spurred on all the while by the noises of Kurt's undoing. 

Passion fogs his brain once more, and reaching further, he finds Kurt's erection and squeezes roughly. The noise Kurt emits is nothing short of pornagraphic as he throws his head back onto Blaine's shoulder and growls- actually growls- in pleasure. Blaine continues to palm him through the pajama bottoms, desperate to reach inside but knowing Kurt is close already.

"I'm gonna..." is all he manages to say before he comes, hips stuttering as Blaine feels the dampness seeping through onto his hand, which only serves to turn him on even more.

"Fuck, you are so hot," he murmurs against Kurt's shoulders, dropping sweet kisses here and there, running his tongue along to taste the saltiness of Kurt's sweat, who is still panting and coming down from his high. Eventually he wriggles out of Blaine's grasp, turning to face him, and shy, innocent Kurt is back, tucking his hands under his chin and smiling softly. 

"I've ruined your pajamas."

"Eh," Blaine shrugs. "It's you, so I'll allow it." Leaning forward he kisses him tenderly on the lips, eyes shining. "I'm just gonna use the bathroom," he whispers.

"No." A firm restraining hand is placed on his arm and Blaine turns back to look at him.

"Oh?"

"I want to....um....I want to touch you," he whispers shyly. 

"You don't have to." Blaine says, but Kurt notices the way he swallows, licking his lips in anticipation. 

"I want to. Lie down." 

Blaine lies on his back, arms tucked under his head as Kurt runs a shaking hand experimentally over the bulge in Blaine's shorts. He has softened slightly, and Kurt shudders when he feels Blaine begin to harden under his touch. He repeats the action again and again, using the flat of his palm, until Blaine's shorts are tented obscenely and he's writhing on the bed. 

"Show me," Kurt says, Blaine's eyes snapping open to meet bright, shining blue. "Show me what to do."

Taking his hand, Blaine moves it to the front of his shorts, but Kurt hooks his fingers into the waistband instead. "Under," he whispers, enjoying the moan that escapes Blaine's throat as he swiftly lowers his shorts. 

Kurt remains silent, eyes widening as he takes in the sight of Blaine's cock, lying hard and rigid against him, flushed with wanting, a small bead of pre come forming at the head. Taking his hand again, Blaine guides him to his thighs first, strong and sure covered in coarse dark hair. Kurt moves to settle between his legs, smoothing both his hands up the insides, marvelling at how manly and firm Blaine is under his touch. His thumbs come up under Blaine's balls and push slightly, Blaine emitting a soft whimper at the feeling. And then Kurt takes him in his hand, swallowing nervously as he feels the weight and girth of him in his palm. Blaine locks his fingers around his and begins to stroke slowly, closing his eyes and lying back on the pillow. 

"Oh fuck that's good," he breathes, as Kurt runs his thumb through the pre come, smearing it down his length and moving their hands a bit quicker. Blaine lets go, wanting to feel Kurt's hand around him and nothing else. It's a little rough and inexperienced, but it's Kurt. Kurt making him fall apart quicker than ever as he jerks himself up into his fist. "Jesus Kurt....I can't....I won't last," he groans, and then he's coming hard, thick white ropes which spurt over Kurt's hand who stares in awesome wonder until Blaine pulls him down into a sloppy kiss. 

"Holy fucking hell," he breathes against Kurt's lips. "Seriously. You are fucking awesome."

"And your mouth is filthy," Kurt admonishes, but he struggles to hide his pleasure at Blaine's words. They shower quickly- Kurt debating whether or not to follow Blaine into his own shower but nerves get the better of him and he uses the guest bathroom instead. Blaine gallantly dashes out to the car in just his towel to retrieve Kurt's bag then makes breakfast while he dresses. He beams when he enters the kitchen and sees waffles, syrup and fruit all laid out, winding his arms around Blaine's waist and nuzzling into his neck. 

"I love you," he says proudly. "I wish we could stay like this forever."

"Yeah, whose bright idea was it to invite our parents for lunch?" Blaine teases. "Come on, lets eat. We've worked up quite an appetite." 

Things could not be any more perfect, Kurt thinks to himself as they spend most of the morning entwined together on the couch, under the pretence of watching tv but actually sharing lazy kisses. Hands aren't afraid any more- or not so much, anyhow- and Kurt is comfortable to feel Blaine's fingers dancing over his back as he rests his own hand under Blaine's shirt on his chest. Idyllic. Until it's an hour before everyone is due to arrive and Blaine reluctantly extracts himself to go and prepare the food. Kurt trails after, happy to help in the hope it will distract him. Noticing his anguish, Blaine moves behind him, places the knife he is using firmly down on the board and gathers him into his arms. 

"You know they'll love you, right?"

Kurt shakes his head. 

"They will. Because you're very loveable."

"I'm sixteen. They're probably hoping you'll meet someone you'll want to marry and have kids with. Not me."

"Who says that's not you?" Blaine says in protest. "My life, my business. I don't live to please them Kurt. My parents just let me be. They became maybe a little more involved in my life when everything happened with Luke, and they were a great support, but they backed off again after. I have a great relationship with them. They will be surprised by your age I guess, but they would never tell me to end it. And they will love you, I know."

"I didn't hear any of that," Kurt mumbles, embarrassed. "I just heard the first sentence and then all coherent thought was lost." 

"Did I scare you?" 

"No," Kurt says, but he backs out of Blaine's arms anyway. 

"Sorry."

"No, it's fine. Really." 

"I wasn't talking about now," Blaine emphasises. "I was just saying that you might be that person one day in the future. That's all." 

"But then..."

"What?"

"Nevermind," Kurt says with a definite shake of his head. "Are we cooking this outside or what?"


	16. Chapter 16

Burt and Carole arrive first, a fact which Kurt is eternally grateful for as he practically glues himself to his dad's side much to Blaine's chagrin, meaning Burt starts shooting him dark looks almost immediately. Carole forces brightness, enquiring politely if Blaine needs any help with the cooking and complimenting him on his home. 

"I'll help with the cooking, it's a barbecue after all." Burt says gruffly, stepping up to the plate. 

Blaine is speechless, even more so when Carole asks Kurt to take her inside to get drinks. Burt stands watching Blaine cook steaks until he is sure they're safely indoors, then turns to him. 

"Okay. What did you do to him?"

"Nothing!" Blaine cries defensively. "Nothing I swear. We had a really great time. I just...think I said something which scared him."

"What?" 

"We were talking, and Kurt said something about me marrying and having kids, and I kinda implied I wanted that with him." 

Burt sighs heavily, takes the tongs from Blaine and shoving him to one side, starts flipping the steaks. "Blaine, lemme ask you something. When you were sixteen, what did you think about?"

"Football and porn," Blaine says without hesitation. 

Pausing, Burt raises one eyebrow. "You should date Finn," he comments wryly, then turns back to the grill. "Kurt wants all that buddy, I know he does. He knows he does, but I just don't think he's ready to have that so clearly defined for him, y'know? It's still far in the future for him, there's so much to come between now and then that it's still a distant pipe dream. Growing up is like....like you're climbing a mountain. You start at the bottom, and every step is new and exciting. There are points when it levels out, when you can stop and admire the view. Then there's tough parts, where you have to dig in and cling on tight. But all the time you're aiming for that summit, that peak, and the best part is, you can't see it. It's still in the clouds. But you know it's there, and you know that when you get there it's gonna be amazing, and the view will be so breathtaking and spectacular that you'll just wanna stay there forever." 

Blaine stands silent, struck dumb by the meaningful insight of the man in the baseball hat who is now grilling chicken to blackened remains. 

"You can't, of course," he continues bluntly. "Eventually you start the descent down the other side, until you're back on the flat and then fade into the horizon- which would be death."

"Oh."

"But that peak...it's different things for each of us. For me, it was those seven years with Kurt and his mom. Then I travelled alone for a while, but I'm lucky enough to have found a new companion to journey the descent with. You may well have found the guy you want to hit that summit with. But right now, he's still admiring the green shoots. You just need to rest awhile, enjoy the view, and soon enough he'll be right by your side." 

"Wow," Blaine says letting out a low whistle. "That's deep. Thank you Burt," he says, clapping the man on the shoulder.

"Anytime buddy. Now go apologize to him before I kick your ass." 

Carole excuses herself when Blaine enters the kitchen, and walking to Kurt, he takes the large pitcher of iced water from his hands and sets it on the table. Tugging him gently, Blaine hoists Kurt up onto the counter then steps between his legs. 

"I'm sorry," he says, and it's all Kurt needs to hear before he pulls Blaine against him, loving the way his head rests against his chest and arms instantly circle his hips. 

"It's okay," Kurt replies, leaning down to kiss in his hair. "I just got myself a little worked up over nothing. What you said was sweet, and you were just trying to reassure me."

"Yeah but still, I shouldn't have said it. I know you're not ready to think about any of that stuff yet. It was just an offhand comment, but it was too much."

"Maybe we are that for each other," Kurt muses, tilting Blaine's face up to look at him. "But it's just too soon. I know I love you. Can that be enough for now?"

"It will always be enough for me to know that," Blaine smiles. "Can I take you out on Wednesday?"

"Ugh. I can't. I have to study for a history test."

"Can I come help you?"

"You won't want to do that. You're done with all that."

"But you're not. Besides, I'm good at history. 'In nineteen forty two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue' and all that."

"You're a goofball," Kurt says affectionately. "A goofball whom I love very much, and who clearly needs a history lesson. So yes, come over on Wednesday. We'll have to stay in the kitchen though."

"Don't care," Blaine says, leaning up to whisper against his lips. "We can call each other at bedtime if we want."

"Hmmm, I like the sound of that," Kurt whispers back, then joins their lips. Blaine's mouth opens wider under Kurt's touch as he marvels at how much he adores kissing this boy. 

"Put him down Anderson!" comes Burt's shout. 

"For gods sake!" Blaine huffs. "How can he even see us? The man is unreal."

"Call me tonight?" Kurt asks as he hops from the counter. 

"Hell yes." He leans in for another kiss, but the sound of the front door opening makes them both pull apart.

"Blaine?" 

"In the kitchen mom!" he calls back, then grabs Kurt's hand and pulls him to his side. "Don't worry," he says kindly, but he can see the way Kurt's eyes go wide and he swallows repeatedly.

"Blaine darling I brought salad," his mom says as she bustles into the kitchen. "I know you're not very good at remembering green stuff, and I figured you'd be busy and...oh!" She draws up short at the sight of Blaine standing proudly, arm in arm with a very nervous Kurt. "Hello dear," she smiles. His dad follows behind, and nods his greeting setting down various bowls on the counter. 

"Uh...mom, dad," Blaine begins nervously. "This is Kurt." Turning to look at him, all nerves melt away and he can't help but grin at his perfect boyfriend. "Kurt, these are my parents, Sara and Mike."

"Nice to meet you," Kurt says, silently cursing his voice for rising to such a pitch. 

"You too," Mike says, shaking his hand firmly. "Blaine keeps talking about this amazing guy he's dating, it's nice to finally put a face to the name."

Sara smiles warmly at him. "Are your parents here too?"

"Uh...my dad. Yes. And his partner. They're in the yard."

"Burt has taken over the barbecue," Blaine moans. "Come say hi." 

Introductions are made, food is served and it's not until everyone is gathered around the table that Kurt is questioned any further. He knew it would come of course, but it doesn't stop him from finding Blaine's hand under the table and squeezing tightly. 

"So Kurt," Sara asks brightly. "What do you do? Are you in college?"

"Um no," he starts, blushing furiously. "I'm um...still in school. I'm a sophomore at McKinley high in Lima." 

Sara's eyes go wide, and Mike unmistakably chokes on his drink but they both quickly recover. 

"Gosh that's.....wow. Okay." Mike says. "So uh.... Do you like school? Personally I hated every second, couldn't wait to leave," he says with a kind smile, and that's it. Conversation flows easily and naturally, the Anderson's happily listen to Kurt talk shyly about glee club and his hopes for NYADA, they inquire politely after Burt's health and then Carole asks more about their family. 

"Cooper is older," Sara says to her. "He will turn forty one next week, then the twins will turn eleven in July. Which reminds me Blaine, are you going to LA for their birthday?"

"I don't know. Um...Burt I was going to ask you about that. I would really like for Kurt to meet my brother, could I possibly take him away for a few days?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Burt," Carole admonishes with an apologetic smile to the Anderson's. 

"You let him sleepover last night," Blaine tries. 

"So? You told me nothing would happen. Yet every time he leans over me to reach the salad, his neck tells a different story." Kurt pulls the collar of his shirt a little higher and blushes deeply. "You're not spending a week holed up in some hotel room with him Blaine, I'm sorry, but it's not gonna happen."

"Um...if it helps, we would be going too," Sara says gently. "We would be happy to take responsibility for Kurt. And we would be staying with Cooper and his family, so I doubt...um...anything...." she trails off lamely, clearly embarrassed and awkward discussing her grown sons sex life with this boy. 

Burt chews his food for a second, thinking. "If I tell you you're to have separate rooms, would you keep to that?" he asks Blaine. 

"Yes. If that's what you want." 

"No way!" Kurt cries. "You heard Mrs. Anderson. We would be staying as guests of his brother. What do you think Blaine and I are going to do? Play strip poker in the dining room? Jesus dad. You need to show a bit of trust here." Settling back in his chair, cheeks a furious red, he mumbles an apology to the assembled guests as Blaine struggles to reconcile this Kurt with the normally shy boy who blushes whenever sex is mentioned. 

"Honey, I think Sara and Mike have made a very kind offer, and I think it's very sweet that Blaine wants Kurt to meet all his family." Carole says with a gentle touch to his arm.

"So, what? You think I should let him go?" Burt grumbles. 

"Yes, I do. You've said yourself before, you like Kurt dating Blaine because you know he has his best interests at heart, and you know he's safe with him." 

A silence ensues, during which Burt looks from Blaine to his son and back again, then huffs. "Okay. But you behave," he says, pointing a finger at Blaine. "Sara, Mike, don't get me wrong. I like your son, he's a good guy and I'd like to hope he'll stick around. But the fact remains that he's fifteen years older than my boy, and right now that's a helluva big difference." 

"I agree," Mike says with a nod. "And I know from having an age gap between Cooper and Blaine, that at times it will seem like nothing and at other times it will feel like the deepest chasm. But I can also say I've never seen Blaine this happy, or this grounded. He's a different boy since being with Kurt. Your son has brought out the best in him." 

"Thank you, that's a great compliment," Burt says with a smile, and the conversation carries on around Kurt and Blaine as they smile happily at one another, Kurt trying to suppress a snigger. 

"What are you laughing at?" Blaine whispers. 

"Your dad calling you a boy. It's funny."

"It's embarrassing."

"It's cute," Kurt teases. "Ickle Blainey."

"Stop it," Blaine says quietly in his ear, "Or I'll be forced to show you just how manly I can be."

Kurt says nothing, only stands and gathers some plates, telling Blaine with his eyes to do the same. Once in the kitchen, he slides them onto the counter and quickly drags his boyfriend down the hall into the music room. 

"Show me then," he whispers, pulling his shirt from his jeans and running his fingers up his chest. 

"Jesus Christ Kurt!" Blaine cries, though he can't help but whimper and push him into the wall slightly as he feels teeth and tongue at his neck. "I didn't mean right now! Oh fuck. You're trouble Kurt Hummel. With a capital....Oh!...T. What happened to....Hands above the belt Kurt.....What happened to my innocent boy?" He moves Kurt's hands again, but again they find their way again to the now hardening bulge in the front of Blaine's jeans. He palms roughly, but just when Blaine is thinking of returning the favor, he stops. 

"Until next time," he whispers, then pulls Blaine into a dirty kiss and saunters back out into the garden, leaving Blaine to dig his hand into his crotch and try to desperately block out the sound of Kurt's laughter floating through the open window. 

 

"What was with you today?" he asks Kurt over the phone that night. "You were like a different guy."

"I don't know. I think....I think on one hand it was relief, your parents were so nice and the whole thing went better than I could have imagined. And then there's the fact that we've done it, we've broken that personal taboo that I had and....I just want more. More of you, more of us....together. Preferably naked." 

"Oh Jesus." 

“You don’t want that?” 

“No,” comes the husky reply. “I mean yes! God yes. I just...It’s just I called to see how you’re feeling about school tomorrow,” Blaine clears his throat and continues. “I know I made things difficult for you.”

“I feel good actually,” Kurt answers confidently. “There’s only three weeks of the semester left, I’ve had a fantastic weekend and you know what? Whatever they do or say to me, I have you. I have more than they will ever have.”

“As long as you’re okay.”

“I am,” Kurt reassures. Sliding under the covers, he lets a soft sigh fall from his lips as he reclines against the pillow, allowing one hand to lazily trace patterns over his stomach. “Blaine?” he says in a not so innocent tone, which has all of Blaine’s blood rushing immediately south. 

“Mmm-hmm?

"Tell me what you want to do next time we’re together," Kurt whispers, running a hand over the steadily growing outline in his pyjamas.

"I want you naked and lying on top of me," Blaine says without a second thought. "I wanna feel all of you against all of me."

"Yes,” Kurt says emitting another soft whimper.

"And I wanna see your face as you come in my fist."

"Blaine....."

"Touch yourself Kurt." 

"I am."

"Fuck...me too." 

Kurt reaches for the lotion he had stashed in his drawer after last time, then quickly pushes his pajama pants around his ankles, groaning as he takes himself in hand. "Oh god Blaine....I wish you were here right now." 

"Tell me what you're doing." 

“I-I’m touching myself,” he stutters. 

“Where?” 

“You know where.”

“Say it Kurt,” Blaine begs brokenly, stroking his cock faster as the boy’s whimpers and moans grow louder. 

“I can’t,” he whispers. “It sounds....stupid. You say stuff and it sounds sexy, I just sound dumb.”

“You don’t Kurt,” Blaine says without hesitation. “You sound hot as hell. Your voice...it does something to me. Especially when you’re turned on.”

“My cock,” Kurt says suddenly into the dark of his room. “I’m stroking my cock and wishing it was your hand instead of mine. It feels so good Blaine, but I know it will feel so much better when it’s you.”

“Yes,” Blaine moans. “Fuck yes Kurt. I wanna do that to you so bad....I wanna feel your come dripping between my fingers.”

“Shit,” Kurt breathes, arching off the bed as he fucks into his hand. “Yes Blaine....want that....so much.”

“You gonna come for me?” Blaine growls. “Lemme hear you come gorgeous boy.”

“Shit,” Kurt cries, then bites hard on his knuckles as he realizes he’s getting loud. He can hear Blaine’s breath coming in short ragged gasps, the occasional moan sliding from his lips and he can picture him, head thrown back, that gorgeous hard cock in his hand and thats all he needs. He moans deliciously long and loud as he comes, Blaine urging him through it until he’s spent, falling back on his bed as he hears Blaine reach his climax with a chorus of expletives. 

“Oh my god your mouth,” he laughs. “You always seem so dapper and put together. If only they knew.”

“I don’t know which ‘they’ you’re referring to,” Blaine laughs as he tries to catch his breath, “but no one except you gets to see this side to me. I can’t wait until we get some alone time again.” 

“Soon.”

“I hope,” Blaine says. “Are you sure you’re okay for school tomorrow?”

“I couldn’t be more relaxed than I am right now,” Kurt remarks dryly and Blaine laughs. 

“Okay. Get some sleep. I’ll call you tomorrow. Love you.”

“You too old man,” and Kurt snuggles happily under the covers and allows sleep to claim him.


	17. Chapter 17

By the end of the week, Kurt has stopped looking over his shoulder every time he walks down the hallway. By the end of the second week, he no longer avoids using the bathroom at school either. Any fears he had for retaliation from Karofsky and his followers diminish with each passing day as they blindly ignore him. It’s as if for them, Kurt Hummel has ceased to exist. And he’s happy with that. He’d take being a nobody any day over being a target for humiliation and ridicule. 

The one person he does exist for though, is Blaine. Blaine who looks at him as though the sun shines from him alone, as though he is the most precious person to ever exist- which Blaine would of course argue that he was. The final week of the semester is drawing to a close, and as Blaine escorts Kurt to his front door after a Breadstix dinner, Kurt finally plucks up the courage to ask him something. 

“So, it's my last day at school tomorrow.”

“Hmm, I know,” Blaine says, snaking his arms around Kurt’s waist, burrowing his face into the crook of his neck and inhaling deeply. “I get you to myself all summer.”

“You have work.”

“I know. And so do you, but we still get more time together than usual.”

“So, um...I don’t really know how you feel about this but...um...Rachel is having a party at her house tomorrow, and I kinda wondered if you would be my date?”

“Date? I thought I was your boyfriend?” Blaine asks in confusion.

“You are.”

“Then of course I’ll come with you. After acoustic night though, if that’s okay?”

“That’s more than okay,” a clearly delighted Kurt tells him. “I didn’t know if you’d want to...”

“It’s fine. It will give me a chance to get to know your friends little better. I mean I know Finn but...”

“Thank you.” Kurt says simply, placing a small kiss of gratitude at the corner of his mouth.

“Anything for you,” Blaine says, cutting him off again as he goes to speak. “I mean it Kurt. Don't give me the ‘I’m not worth it’ speech, because you are. You’re worth everything to me. Ride with Finn tomorrow morning, I’ll come pick you up from school.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to. I wanna see my boyfriend finish his sophomore year with a big smile on his face, ‘kay?”

“Okay,” Kurt agrees giddy with love for his man. “Now kiss me real quick before my dad calls me inside."

 

The doors open and hundreds of McKinley High students swarm from the building, calling to friends, laughing, pushing and shoving as the freedom of the summer washes over them. Blaine waits patiently by his car, searching for the blue eyes that he knows will seek him out as soon as he emerges. The initial surge falls away slightly, and Blaine raises a hand in greeting to Quinn, Mercedes and Sam as they pass him. He is expecting Kurt any second now, probably locked between Santana and Rachel who seem to bicker over him like he's some kind of pet, but he can see Rachel advancing with Finn, clearly upset about something. He doesn't want to interrupt, but the exiting students have slowed to a trickle, and his boyfriend is nowhere to be found. 

"Finn!" he calls loudly. Running toward him, he notices Finn trying to carry on walking to his car, but Rachel tugs him back, eyes pleading. "Hey," he pants as he catches up to him. "You seen Kurt? I'm supposed to be picking him up."

"Uh...yeah. He'll be along in a minute or so," Finn says awkwardly. 

"You okay?" Blaine asks Rachel, who is hurriedly wiping her eyes. 

"Not really," she sniffs. "Tell him Finn."

"Tell me what?" Blaine asks, a sickening lurch in his stomach making him suddenly start to panic. "What's going on?" 

"Uh...Kurt. He uh...."

"Blaine! Get your ass in here now!"

Turning, Blaine sees a wild looking Santana standing by an open door, beckoning to him. He looks back to Finn, staring red faced at the floor, and Rachel, eyes swimming with tears and runs. 

"What is it? Is it Kurt?" he asks frantically, voice shaking with emotion as Santana ushers him inside. 

"Come with me." Taking his hand, she runs down the hallway, stopping outside the girls bathroom. Glancing around to check no one lingers, she offers a small sad smile before pushing open the door. "He needs you." 

He doesn't see him initially as he hears the door close behind him. Then his eyes fall to the floor, where he can make out a huddled, trembling figure on the floor under the row of sinks. Falling to his knees, he touches his arm tentatively. 

"Kurt?"

"Go 'way," comes the muffled, tear filled voice. Blaine looks to Santana in panic as she kneels on the floor next to him. 

"Kurt. Come on. Blaine's here. Let him take you home." Touching his arm softly, she smooths his hair with her other hand and Blaine finds himself struck by her tenderness. "Please Kurt. Look at us." 

Blaine tries but fails to suppress a gasp as Kurt lifts his head slowly. One eye is swollen shut, a livid purple bruise swelling around it. A line of dried blood runs from the corner of his swollen mouth, disappearing under his chin, and his nose trickles with blood as he swipes at it hastily with a tissue. 

“My gorgeous boy,” Blaine moans softly. “Oh my gorgeous boy. What have they done to you?” Taking Kurt’s face tenderly in his hands, he gently rests their foreheads together then presses a soft kiss to his good side, whispering I love you’s over and over as he tries to keep his own tears from falling. 

“They got me Blaine,” Kurt whispers, voice cracked and hoarse. “They cornered me and they hurt me.”

“I know baby. But they won’t. They won’t do this anymore I promise. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.” 

“I walked round the corner just before Karofsky could kick him square in the face,” Santana says quietly. “He was on the floor. Looks like they waited until the final bell.”

“Thank you,” Blaine says sincerely. “Thank you for taking care of him, and for finding me. Did anyone see the whole thing?”

“Finn.”

The name hangs in the air between them, as Kurt cries harder into Blaine’s arms. Staring at Santana incredulously, Blaine swallows several times before speaking in a low voice. 

“What?”

“That lame ass jerk stood in the hallway and watched as his jock friends beat the living shit out of his brother,” Santana continues. “Rachel arrived and was hysterical, it was her screams that brought me to the scene. She was begging Finn to do something but he didn’t. He just stood and stared, so I kicked Karofsky in the balls and told Finn to get the fuck out my way.”

“He did nothing?” Blaine repeats softly. 

“No.” 

Blaine lets out a long sigh before gently tugging Kurt to his feet. “C’mon. I’m taking you home.”

“No,” Kurt begs. “Please no. My dad...”

“You can’t hide it from him Kurt.”

“I could stay with you?” he tries, but he can see the determined set of Blaine’s jaw. 

“No. He needs to know, and Carole needs to sort her son’s attitude out. Santana, do you need a ride?”

“No I’m good, but I’ll help you get Kurt to the car.”

They walk in silence with Kurt between them, arms around both their necks and leaning heavily on them for support. Blaine notices that he seems to be in pain with his ribs again and makes a mental note to check them when they get home. Santana helps Kurt into the car, then pulls Blaine into an unexpected hug. 

“I’m glad he’s got you. Even though you’re unnaturally small for an adult,” she says over his shoulder. She pulls back with a smile. “Kurt has my number. Call me to let me know how he is.”

Blaine agrees and thanks her, then drives the short distance to Kurt’s house, thinking all the while. Finn’s car isn’t on the drive when they get home, a fact for which Blaine is grateful as he uses Kurt’s key to let them into the silent house. He lifts Kurt easily, who puts up no protest, and carries him down to his bedroom, setting him on the bed where he falls back wearily against the pillows. 

“We need to clean you up,” Blaine murmurs into his hair as he drops reassuring kisses there. 

“I wanna sleep.” 

“I know, but your dad will be home soon and if we don’t at least wash your face it will look much worse.”

“Okay,” Kurt agrees, hauling himself up reluctantly. 

“I could run you a bath? That might make you feel a little better- ease some of the aching in your ribs at least.”

“My ribs are fine,” Kurt snaps, but the hiss of pain as he stands belies his words. 

“They’re not.” Blaine walks into the bathroom and turns the taps on. Kurt stays standing in the doorway, even when the bath is full, reluctant to move or make any eye contact. Blaine goes to him, smoothing his hands over his folded arms and kissing his forehead. “What is it?”

“I just...” Kurt pauses, trying to compose himself but two tears fall silently down his cheeks. “I’ve never been...y’know....naked in front of you. And I don’t want the first time to be because of this. I wanted it to be...when we....”

Tilting his face softly, Blaine kisses those swollen, sore lips as sweetly as he can, closing his eyes and smiling a little as he feels Kurt relax under his touch. He pulls away and tastes the sharp tang of Kurt’s blood on his lips, but the boy looks so much better for the affection that Blaine fails to mind. 

“Get in, under the bubbles. I’ll give you five, then I’ll come and do your back before I leave again.” 

“Thank you,” he whispers with a small, grateful smile. 

Blaine is ever the gentleman as he washes Kurt tenderly, using the washcloth to pour warm water over his aching bruised skin, kissing his shoulder blades gently before slipping out of the bathroom once more, where he rests heavily against the door and digs the heels of his palms into his eyes to stop the tears from overflowing. He hears the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the stairs and straightens, expecting to confront Burt and ready to explain why Kurt is in the bath, but it is Finn who appears, takes one look at Blaine, spins on his heel and runs. 

"Oh no you don't!" Blaine yells, tearing up the stairs after him and catching up to him in the hallway where he instantly pins him to the wall. "What the fuck? You ignorant shit!"

"Don't start on me Blaine okay?" Finn says warily, "Rachel's already dumped me, and I feel bad but what could I do? Really?"

"What could you do?" Blaine yells, face livid with rage. "You could have stopped them, you could have run to get a teacher, you could have pushed them aside, grabbed Kurt and ran. You could have stood up for your brother!"

"They'd have turned on me!"

"So what? So you think you'll just stand there and watch as they beat him? If it wasn't for Santana it would have been a lot worse. Thank god she's got some balls at least. He's your brother, Finn!"

"He's not though is he?" Finn snarls, and he pushes hard against Blaine and out of his grasp. "He's just the son of the dude my mom is dating, and now suddenly everyone is calling us brothers, saying that we're a family well guess what? I didn't ask for this, didn't ask for any of it. I was fine with it being just me and mom. We don't need them." 

"He was your friend before all that though. You were quick enough to pull the caring overprotective brother act when he and I first started dating. I thought it was sweet that Kurt had someone like you. Clearly I was wrong."

"He wasn't my friend. Not really. We did glee together but that was it. I ignored him the rest of the time."

"Why?"

"Oh come on!" Finn cries, exasperated. "You've seen him. Anyone can see he's gay from a mile off. He dresses weird, walks funny and talks like a girl. He...." Finn cuts off suddenly as he's pinned to the wall once more, an arm pushing across his throat as a raging Blaine sneers up at him. 

"Don't you EVER dare call my boyfriend a girl or insult him like that. He's more of a man than you can ever hope to be. There is no way he would have stood by and watch you go through that, no way at all. Everyone is different Finn, I'm just sad you're obviously too fucking immature to realise what a wonderful person Kurt is. I'm glad Rachel dumped your sorry ass, she's so far out of your league it's unreal."

"What the hell is going on here?" Burt's voice booms into the hallway. "Blaine!" 

Blaine releases his hold on Finn and turns to face him, standing straight. "Kurt got beaten up at school today, and Finn stood and watched the whole thing. I'm sorry, but no one treats my boyfriend like that." 

Burt pauses, Blaine can see him trying to process his words before he speaks to them both. "Is this true?"

"Yes," Finn mumbles.

"Go and wait for me in the kitchen. Blaine, I appreciate that you are angry, but you are a guest in my home, which is also Finn's home. Don't let me find you behaving like that ever again, or you'll be out. Take me to my boy." 

Blaine nods and leads him silently down the stairs to find Kurt now dressed in pajamas, hair damp and curled up on his side. Hovering uncertainly in the doorway, he watches as Burt sits down on the bed and examines his face before taking him wordlessly in his arms. Not wanting to intrude, he retreats back up the stairs and finds Finn sitting at the kitchen table. 

“So I uh...I guess I should maybe apologize,” he starts, taking a chair opposite. He startles somewhat to notice Finn’s red rimmed eyes, and the way he swipes at his nose with his sleeve. “I maybe forget sometimes that there’s quite an age gap here, and I know that when I was sixteen I was just a scared, insecure boy who was struggling to find his place in the world.” 

“S’okay,” Finn mutters. “You were right to call me out. What I did was wrong and I hate myself for it. I do care for him. A lot. I just....it’s hard, y’know? If I stand up for him like I wanted to, then everyone will be on my case, saying I have a crush on him, calling me those names that he gets all the time.”

“I know. And I get why you wouldn’t want to put yourself through that. But I also think that maybe, in a few years from now, you will want to be able to say that you helped him through all this, rather than having to admit you tried to ignore the whole thing for the sake of your popularity.”

“Do you think my mom and Burt will get married?” 

The sudden direct change of conversation, and the almost desperate tone of Finn’s question makes Blaine pause, but eventually he nods. “I think that’s a very real possibility, yes. You don’t want that?”

Finn runs a hand over his face and sniffles once more. “I do and I don’t. I want her to be happy, but I feel like it’s us who have had to give up everything for them. It’s us who moved, it’s my dad’s pictures that have been taken down from the walls. It’s me who has to learn to live with a gay guy and now call him my brother, it’s me who loses all my social status just because my name is now associated with him, it’s me who has lost my girlfriend.”

“So talk about it,” Blaine urges. “Tell them how you feel. But you know, Kurt has to adjust too. Him being gay is really nothing to do with it, he’s having to learn about having a sibling too. You know why you’ve lost your girlfriend, and I don’t think you can blame anyone but yourself. You both have the chance at a real friendship here, a lifelong bond that could run so much deeper than what he will ever have with Rachel, or you with Puck. Get to know each other properly over the summer, make an effort to spend time together away from the confines of school, or the rest of the Glee club. I think you might both be surprised.”

“Starting with you both working in the garage over the summer,” Burt booms suddenly into the room. “I’ve spoken with Kurt and he’s on board, provided I still give him time to be with his ancient boyfriend,” he teases. “He’s nearly asleep, he asked if you could go down.”

“Oh. Um..okay,” Blaine says, laughing as he hears Burt thunder “Door open!” after his retreating back. 

“Hey,” he whispers softly as he lies down next to a fragile, tired, but infinitely happier looking Kurt. 

“Hey you. So my dad is making Finn work in the garage with me over the summer, kind of a bonding thing.”

“I know. He told me. And I think that’s a really good idea. I also think that when you go back for junior year, you and your dad should meet with the principal to discuss the bullying. You need to emphasise how physical it’s becoming Kurt, before they do real damage."

“You're right, I know. Thank you.”

They lapse into a comfortable silence, happy to just look into one another’s eyes, though the worsening bruise makes Blaine’s stomach lurch. He notices Kurt’s eyelids starting to droop, and   
leans forward to kiss him carefully on the lips. “I’m gonna go,” he whispers. 

“No, no don’t do that,” Kurt pleads. “I’ll stay awake. We can still go to Rachel’s party?”

“Kurt, you need to rest. And then the four of you need to sit down and talk about this. There will be other parties, other dates for us. Right now you and your family need to come first. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“But I wanted to get naked with you,” he blurts, causing Blaine to laugh out loud. 

“There will be other opportunities for that too my gorgeous boy, when you’re not hurting, when your bedroom door isn’t wide open and when your dad isn’t lurking at the top of the stairs.”

“Soon?”

“Soon. I love you, you know. Endlessly.”

“I love you too. Forever.”


	18. Chapter 18

“Because we’re going away for five days, because it’s LA, and because it’s July,” Blaine snaps frustratedly. “Nobody needs fur lined boots at this time of year Kurt, let alone three pairs. You’ve already packed six different items of footwear. No. Just no.”

“But what if I wear my blue sweater? What then? These boots match.”

“Why would you be wearing a sweater? You just need shorts, t-shirts and one smart outfit so I can take you out for dinner.”

“Why do you want to take me out for dinner?”

“Because sometimes you’re frustrating as hell, but I love you nonetheless. Now will you please finish packing so we can make it to my place before midnight?”

It is a short tempered Blaine that eventually loads Kurt’s suitcase into the trunk, reassures his dad several times over that he will return him in one piece, and finally drives to Westerville. He’s not been alone with Kurt since the day of the beating, despite their mutual promises of ‘soon’ to one another. Kurt has thrown himself into working with Finn at the garage, something which they have both been enjoying immensely, but it means that Blaine has take a backseat for over a month- relegated to seeing Kurt only on weekends. He has, in turn, accepted more work- requiring him to travel out of state to Chicago, Michigan and back to Tennessee- keeping him away for a few nights during the week and is this that he turns to now. 

“So, I’m going away again.”

“Oh? When?”

“August.”

“When in August?”

“Eighteenth for three weeks.”

“What?” Kurt shrieks, turning to face him in the car. “Are you kidding me?”

“No. I’m going to PA to record some stuff with the philharmonic.”

“I don’t give a shit what you’re doing! You’re leaving me for three weeks? You won’t even be here when school starts back. You said you would be Blaine, you promised.” 

“I did not! I said I would be there for you, and I can be- even if I'm away. I don't know what more you want from me Kurt!" Blaine cries as he feels the last few weeks of frustration begin to make themselves known. "You won't let me help you with any of this, you refuse to let your dad and I go to the police, or to contact the school board. You bury yourself in work at the garage and ignore the way you're really feeling, which then manifests itself by you snapping at me all the time. And thanks for saying you don’t give a shit about my job. Nice to know I mean so much.” 

"Well clearly I can't mean that much either, otherwise you wouldn't be abandoning me like this!"

"What? I have to earn money Kurt! And don't talk to me about being left alone, I've had to spend an entire summer amusing myself because you've been shut away with Finn. Christ, when I suggested you spend more time together it wasn't so I could be tossed aside." 

He pulls the car to a halt in the driveway and gets out, slamming the door hard and leaving the front door wide open as he strides through the house and into the kitchen where he leans heavily on the counter and tries to calm his breathing.

"That's what you think?" Kurt yells as he follows him. "That I've picked Finn over you? Finn has shown true remorse, Blaine. I've enjoyed spending time with him as a brother, something everyone around me seemed to want so badly- and now suddenly you're moaning about it. As for everything else.... How many times do I need to tell you, and my dad, and Carole? I do NOT want to talk about it, I do NOT want the police involved, I just want to move on. Yes, I was punched and kicked. Not mortally or gravely wounded. The bruises faded, and I hoped my memories could do the same, but you just keep on and on, insisting I talk this through when really, I don't want to."

"You talk to Finn well enough," Blaine snaps, and he immediately notices the icy glare in Kurt's eyes. 

"You're jealous? You're nearly thirty two years old Blaine, I'd have thought you'd be more mature than that."

"Wanna talk about maturity?" Blaine yells right back. "Huh? You're the one who's sulking because my work is taking me away from you, when the rest of the time that I am here you're quite happy to ignore me and only talk about things that suit you!"

"Just stop!" Kurt pleads. "You're making me want to go home and never return!"

"Do what the fuck you want Kurt, just grow up while you're doing it," Blaine snaps and slams the door to the music room before Kurt can say anything further. 

Blaine doesn't stop playing the piano when he hears the door creak open twenty minutes later. He carries on as slender arms fall over his shoulders onto his chest and draw him back slightly. Closing his eyes, he tilts his head up, allowing the music to reach its crescendo the same time as his lips meet Kurt's in an upside down kiss which leaves them both breathless. A few notes are dropped when Kurt's hand travels easily down the v-neck of his t-shirt, and he struggles to remember what it is he's even playing when the other hand rubs firmly over his groin. He groans, pushing his head back and crotch upwards into Kurt's palm before he stops playing completely and turns on the bench to pull him into a heated kiss, tongues immediately finding each other as Kurt's hands tangle into Blaine's hair. 

Blaine tugs him down to straddle his lap, pulling both their t-shirts off quickly and moaning into Kurt's mouth when their chests press together. He happily throws his head back as Kurt devours him, exposing his neck and feeling his legs start to tremble when Kurt bites down on the soft flesh. The surety behind Kurt's touch urges him to the boys belt buckle, and working his fly open he quickly reaches into his jeans, squeezing his ass roughly and chuckling quietly when Kurt's lips leave his neck for a second to yell 'fuck' loudly. He stands then, placing Kurt gently on his feet and reacquainting himself with those lips, quickly shucking out of his own pants and underwear without ever breaking the kiss. Cradling Kurt's head tenderly, he trails kisses everywhere- over cheeks, eyelids and jaw before nuzzling behind his ear, running his tongue over the skin and making Kurt shiver when he whispers "I want you so fucking bad," directly into his ear. 

Kurt doesn't respond verbally, he just pushes his jeans to the floor and steps from them, pushing himself tighter against Blaine and grinding their cocks together. It has been too long since they were like this, Blaine thinks as he gropes wildly at Kurt's ass, held tightly in his briefs. They've shared many late night phone calls of course, and Kurt has become more open and free, happily telling Blaine exactly what he would like to try and enjoying hearing him reach his orgasm because of it. And this newfound confidence appears now, as he removes his own underwear, gulps down any fears or anxieties and finally presses his naked body against Blaine's own. 

"Oh holy shit," Blaine moans, unable to express his pleasure in any other way. 

"That is so good," Kurt cries, rutting desperately against Blaine who is now backed up against the piano. "I think I'm..."

"No. Not yet," Blaine commands. "I need to touch you. I have waited so long for this, and you are so beautiful. Please let me touch you," he begs. 

"Yes," comes the simple reply, and Kurt hooks one leg around Blaine's waist as he works his hand between them. The feeling of another hand upon him, and the one which he has waited so long for, is too much for Kurt. He digs his nails into Blaine's back as he strokes him once, twice, and then he's coming hard, moaning in a mixture of annoyance and utter pleasure, resting his head wearily onto Blaine's shoulder and staring in disbelief as Blaine licks his own hand clean. 

"I'm so sorry," he whispers shamefaced. 

"Don't ever be sorry for that," Blaine whispers sweetly into his hair. "I love you Kurt. I'm sorry for being a jerk."

"I'm sorry for being a brat."

"You're worried about returning to school, I get it. But Kurt.... Your dad and I...."

"Please Blaine. I know you love me. So be my lover. Don't be my parent. I don't want the police involved. I don't want to be an even bigger target than I already am. I don't want my dad going through even more stress just because of me. I can't lose him. I just can't. I just want everything to go back to normal."

"It will. But it's important to talk about stuff, Kurt. Otherwise we end up arguing- like we did. You're not the only one with doubts and insecurities. It's okay to let them show." 

"What are yours then?"

"I'm worried you'll trade me for somebody younger," he admits softly.

"Oh Blaine." Kurt lifts his head and locks his eyes on his. "That's not gonna happen. Not now.....not ever I hope. I love you with all my heart, and it makes no difference if you're fifteen or thirty two, I'll still love you."

"Maybe I'll turn this job down," Blaine muses. "We could spend more time together."

"No." Kurt's answer is firm and sure. "You go. We have all the time in the world to be together- an entire future." Offering Blaine a small smile, he pecks his lips softly. 

"I like the sound of that," Blaine's smile is broad as his hands smooth over Kurt's back and down to his bare ass. "And I really like the feel of this." 

"Hmm," Kurt laughs into his neck. "I think someone still needs some attention."

"Don't worry about me."

"Blaine?"

"Yes?" 

"Be quiet."

"Oh."

Pushing him lightly against the piano, Kurt wraps his hand around Blaine and teases slowly. He's had more practice now, on himself of course, but he feels more confident and if the noises escaping Blaine are anything to go by, he's doing okay. 

"Jesus fuck!" Blaine cries. "Kurt....shit.....so good." Blaine's words are almost incomprehensible as he moans into Kurt's skin, licking and sucking at any part of him he can reach. "You taste fucking awesome," he breathes, pulling back to look at him briefly before kissing his already swollen lips. Kurt continues to stroke him, enjoying the way he can feel Blaine's thigh tensing under his other hand. 

"I want you to come," he whispers as Blaine's tongue runs around his ear. "I wanna see you come because of me." His voice is low and scratchy, and Blaine throws his head back and moans, eyes screwed shut with pleasure. Grabbing his ass, Kurt grinds his now hard again cock against him and watches as Blaine shudders his way through his orgasm, then looks down and takes in the sight of their cocks pressed together and dripping with Blaine's come. 

"What the.....?" he yelps as he is suddenly lifted and placed on top of the piano. Stepping between his legs, Blaine looks into his eyes, and a nod from Kurt is all he needs before he lowers his head and takes him in his mouth. 

“Oh Jesus Christ!” Kurt cries, hands gripping the edge of the piano as Blaine runs his tongue around the head of his cock, gathering his own come and swallowing it down. Grabbing Kurt’s wrist, he encourages his fingers to tangle into his hair as he takes him deep into his throat, humming contentedly around him as Kurt tugs on his curls. His feet dig into Blaine’s back as sparks shoot through every nerve in his body. He’s wondered what this might feel like, but never expected to enjoy it as much as this. Everything feels on fire in the best possible way, and it's not long before the soft sighs turn into long, drawn out moans as he comes into the heat of Blaine’s mouth. 

With a delicate wipe of his lips, Blaine straightens up and pulls a now boneless Kurt into his arms, kissing him deeply and laughing at the face he makes when he realizes he can taste himself. “You’re incredible,” Blaine murmurs against his cheek. 

“No, I’m pretty sure all the kudos has to go to you on that one,” Kurt laughs weakly. 

“I wasn't talking about that, but I’m glad you liked it,” Blaine smiles as he lifts him gently from the piano. “Shower then bed?”

“Yes.”

They shower together for the first time, though there is no more to it than gentle washing of each other and tender, warm kisses to cheeks and lips. After, when Blaine is curled in Kurt’s arms and tracing soft patterns along his forearm, he speaks. 

“I’m sorry I told you to grow up. That was inexcusable.”

“It hurt,” Kurt replies honestly. “But I know you didn't mean it. We all say stupid stuff in the heat of the moment.”

“Are we good?”

“Yes.” He drops a kiss into Blaine’s hair, still damp and smelling faintly of coconut shampoo, and sighs deeply. “I’m worried about this trip.”

“Don’t be,” Blaine reassures. “You know my parents like you, and Cooper will too.”

“I just don’t want to make a fool of myself.”

“Kurt!” Blaine props himself on one elbow to look down at him. “I thought we had established that I’m the dumbass in this relationship? Seriously, please don't worry. We have five days together to just relax and have fun. Yes, you will be meeting my entire family, but I will be there with you, right by your side. And I love you more right now than I ever have, so just remember that, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now let’s get some sleep. Love you.”

“Love you too, dumbass.”

 

Early the next morning, they drive to collect Blaine’s parents and then to the airport where they board a plane to LA which lands quicker than Kurt would have liked. Mike and Sara are warm and friendly to Kurt, and he finds himself relaxing in their company, not even feeling embarrassed to hold Blaine’s hand as they pick up their rental car, but when they pull up to a sprawling white house with an ocean view, Kurt can feel the panic rising inside him. 

“Relax,” Blaine whispers to him softly before he is tackled to the ground by a shrieking boy and girl, both with piercing blue eyes like their father who is now strolling towards them and greeting his parents affectionately. 

“And you must be Kurt,” he says, offering his hand and stepping over Blaine who is still lying on the grass showering his niece and nephew with kisses. “I’m Cooper, that’s Maddie and Taylor. Come inside- Blaine will follow eventually.”

He follows the Andersons into the house, greeting Claire- Cooper’s wife politely, then trailing along after Cooper with his bags. “So I put you and Blaine in the pool house,” he says as they walk into the yard. “I hope that’s okay. I just figured you might want privacy, and the twins seem to have advanced to eleven years of age without understanding the meaning of that word.” He smiles at Kurt as he sets their bags on the floor. “Nervous, huh?”

“Um...yeah,” he breathes, blushing deeply. “I just....want people to like me.”

“Well Blaine sure does. First time any of us have ever met a boyfriend.”

“Really?”

“Yep. You must mean a helluva lot to him, kid. And I shouldn’t call you kid. I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Kurt says shyly, but he does appreciate the apology. 

“Show us, show us!” comes a voice, and Cooper laughs as he looks at Kurt. 

“That’s Maddie,” he says knowingly, “You’re about to get the inquisition.”

“He was standing right next to me,” Kurt can hear Blaine saying, then he catches sight of him being pulled across the yard. “You must’ve seen him.”

“We only saw you. Grandpa complained that we didn’t jump on him too, but he’s too old.”

Blaine laughs and steps into the pool house and Kurt can’t help but smile. His hair is dishevelled, shirt untucked, but his eyes are shining with laughter as he gazes down at the girl adoringly. 

“Okay. Maddie, Taylor, meet my boyfriend Kurt. Kurt- meet my crazy niece and nephew.”

“Hi,” he says with a small wave, then stands awkwardly with his hands in his pockets. 

“Do you two kiss?” Maddie asks, grinning wickedly. 

“He’s my boyfriend, what do you think?” Blaine asks as he pulls Kurt to his side. 

“I told Sam’s mom you had a boyfriend, and that we were going to meet him,” Taylor says suddenly. “She said it’s a waste of good jeans, but you’re not even wearing jeans.”

“Um...okay. Well....tell Sam’s mom I’m very flattered, but Kurt has my heart so she’ll have to fight him for it.”

“That’s cute!” Maddie says, as Taylor wrinkles his nose in disgust. “Do you play music with Blaine?” she asks Kurt, who flushes again and looks at the floor. 

“No. I um...I go to high school. I’m about to become a junior.”

“Why are you Blaine’s boyfriend then?” Taylor asks. “He’s really old. Not as old as my dad, but still old.”

“I think that’s between Kurt and Blaine and no one else,” Cooper says, ushering them outside and flashing an apologetic look to the couple. “Come inside for lunch when you’re ready.”

“They hate me,” Kurt moans as the door closes. 

“They love you. Just wait, by tonight I’ll be begging you to come to bed, but you’ll be too busy with them to notice, and I’ll just trail away...dejectedly. All alone,” he teases with kisses along Kurt’s neck. 

“What, you think I’m gonna let you go to bed all on your own and waste this opportunity?” Kurt asks gesturing to the pool house. “Not a chance.” 

Blaine is right on one count, and evening finds Kurt, Maddie and Taylor teaching Mike the ways of XBox live, while he relaxes with a glass of wine on the patio. 

“He is adorable,” Claire says as she returns from checking on them. “Don’t let that one go.”

“I don’t intend to,” Blaine smiles happily as she walks past and ruffles his hair affectionately. 

“He’s sixteen,” Cooper snaps, maybe a bit harshly. “He may not have a choice.”

“That’s not to say it won’t last,” his mom points out. “Age has nothing to do with whether a couple stays together. It has to do with compatibility, and whether they can grow as a couple as well as individuals.”

“Thank you mom.” In a childish gesture, Blaine sticks his tongue out at his brother, but it makes him feel better anyway. “Now if you’ll all excuse me, I’m gonna go kick his ass on Bioshock.”

“Like you even know what that is,” Cooper calls after him. 

“I’m about to find out.”

They play videogames for another hour- Blaine’s dad turns out to be surprisingly good. Blaine has shifted during the course of the evening so Kurt now rests lightly between his legs, and by the end of his second glass of wine, his hands roam freely over Kurt’s thighs, who places them back by his side every so often, but doesn't seem to mind enough to be alarmed or uncomfortable. 

“I want to take you to bed,” he whispers in Kurt’s ear, obviously not quietly enough if the ‘gross’ shouted by Taylor is anything to go by. 

“You two are worse than mom and dad!” he cries, but there is a soft smile behind his words as Kurt stands and takes Blaine’s hand, proud yet shy at the same time. 

“That’s why they’re in the pool house,” Maddie says knowingly, and Mike laughs loudly. 

“Go. Make your escape before things get even more awkward,” he says with a wave.

“Am I really the first boyfriend to meet the family?” Kurt asks once they are safely back in their room. 

“Yep,” Blaine murmurs as he unbuttons Kurt’s shirt and kisses each inch of newly exposed flesh. 

“Why?”

“Because you’re the hottest one,” Blaine teases, laughing as he receives a sharp smack on the arm. “Because I love you, and I’m so proud and amazed that you want to be with someone like me, that I want to show you off to the world.”

“Even though I’m still a school kid?”

“I don’t look at you like that though. I get to see a side of you that no one else sees,” Blaine says quietly. “And that makes me love you even more. No one can make you come undone like I can, and no one has ever made me feel the way that you do.”

“How am I naked?” Kurt laughs suddenly in disbelief as Blaine quickly removes his own clothes. 

“Magic.”

“And why am I naked?”

“Because I wanna taste you again,” he says simply. 

“And what if I want to do that to you?”

“Then I will happily let you indulge.”


	19. Chapter 19

"Well?" Blaine asks on their last night in LA.

"I like him," Cooper nods. He looks down the beach, to where Kurt chases after a shrieking Maddie- eventually catching her around the waist where they fall laughing onto the sand with Taylor quick to add to the pile. "He looks like a kid when he's playing with them."

"You look like a kid when you're playing with them," Blaine points out.

"He just confuses me," Cooper continues. "He's very smart, and polite, funny.... and very you. I can see that you're suited to one another I just have concerns for the future, that's all."

"He's not a child," Blaine bites at him.

"I wasn't going to say that. I just worry. He's got a lot of growing up to do, and I hope the two of you can withstand that."

"We will," Blaine says confidently.

"You know he wants to study in New York?"

"I do."

"And do Broadway?"

"Yes."

"Does he know?"

"About Luke? Yes."

"Does he know you won't set foot in the city ever again?"

Sighing heavily, Blaine sits on the low wall and looks at Kurt, now sitting watching the sunset with Maddie and Taylor on either side. "No. But you know what? College is two years away for him. He could change his mind a hundred different times before then."

"He could," Cooper agrees. "But you and I never did. What will you do if he doesn't?"

"I would like to think that by then we'd be strong enough to make it. He can come home for holidays, we can meet halfway..... And then after college he and I could move somewhere together, start afresh."

"That's a hell of a lot to ask. You'd never see any of his college life, never meet his new friends, see his dorms..."

"You know what? I'm not gonna have this conversation with you right now, like I said, it's two years away."

"You're right." Copper stops and a silence falls, broken only by the sound of the waves. "I do like him, y'know," he says again. "And mom and dad adore him."

"I love him Coop. I love him with all my heart." 

"I know you do. That's what I worry about."

"What do you mean?" 

"You've never been in this deep, I know. But you've always been the giver in relationships Blaine. It's you who makes the sacrifices, turns down work, misses family gatherings or friends birthdays. It's you who apologizes even when it was the others fault, you who comes running whenever they call. It's you who deals with all the shit and ultimately, it's always you who gets dumped. I just don't see how, at fifteen years younger, Kurt can be on an equal footing in this relationship." 

Blaine sighs and thinks carefully before speaking. "Maybe, right now, he's not. I guess there are certain aspects of our relationship where I have to take on more of a teacher role..."

"I don't think I need to know about that."

"Not just that," Blaine says with a playful kick to his leg. "But yes, that too. Even so, I just love being with him. Conversation is never a drag, he makes me laugh and knows just what to say if I'm feeling down, or frustrated. I really hope this is it for us, because in five years time none of this will matter, we will just be two adults in a long term, loving relationship." 

"Except you'll be going gray."

"Of course," Blaine laughs. "You don't know him like I do Coop. No one does. It’s the same with Claire. You see a side of her that no one else ever sees, because she's your wife and no one else's. People see Kurt as shy, insecure- until you get to know him a little and then people realize he's warm, caring and funny. They see us together and think it's a boy infatuated with a man and a man trying to make the most of his dwindling sex appeal, and revelling in the flattery. But they don't see the moments he holds me, when I'm so wrapped up in his arms, with my head on his chest that I feel more safe and secure than I ever have. They don't see the way he looks at me and makes my heart beat ten times faster because his eyes go dark with want. No one knows the things he says to me that tell me this isn't an infatuation, or a coming of age experiment. This is it. For everything I give to him, he gives me back ten times more, I'm telling you." 

"Good," Cooper says decisively. "Then I'm happy for you Blaine. And you know what? The future will deal with itself when it arrives. I'm glad you came to visit, and I'm glad we got to meet him. Have you had fun?"

"The best. Don't really wanna go home," Blaine says turning suddenly morose. "I sleep better with him in my bed, and all too soon it's gonna be back to school for him, and I'm going to PA, then when I return its back to no sleepovers and Friday night dinners with his dad glaring at me if I even so much as look at Kurt with affection."

"I thought you liked his dad?"

"I do. I don't know why I do, but I do." 

The time flies quickly, and Blaine is right. Before either of them really know what is happening, it is the night before Blaine leaves for PA. Burt has graciously allowed Kurt to spend the night, and they spend the entire evening in bed, wrapped up in one another's arms and lazily exploring each others bodies. 

"When you get back..." Kurt starts, pausing to laugh when Blaine dips his tongue into his belly button. "It's gonna be your birthday." 

"Mmmm-hmmm. Don't remind me." He sucks a small hickey onto Kurt’s hipbone, then runs his tongue over it soothingly. 

"Thirty two."

"Thank you." 

"What gift do you want?"

"You, naked in my bed," Blaine replies without hesitation. 

"I was hoping you'd say that," Kurt laughs as he rolls them both over and tackles Blaine back against the pillows. "Cause I'm gonna take you out to dinner, then we can come back here for the night, and have sex." 

"That sounds...what? Wait, what?"

"Do you want to?"

"I....well....yes. I do. But are you......?"

"Sure? Ready? Insane? Yes, yes and yes. I want you Blaine. I want to give myself to you, and I want it to be a special thing between us. It would be tonight but there's something else I want to do first."

"Oh?" Blaine arches one eyebrow and grins as his hands start to roam over Kurt's bare ass. 

"I wanna suck you off."

"You've done that before." 

"I know, but this time I want you to come in my mouth." 

"On your knees, Hummel," Blaine growls, then they both tumble from the bed laughing. 

"Sit on the bed then."

"Nope. In the shower," Blaine says decisively. 

Kurt manages to leave Blaine a trembling wreck, one hand splayed against the wall for support as he spills into the boys mouth, who swallows eagerly before pulling him into a dirty kiss, then Blaine returns the favor. Long after, when the dusk has turned to black and Kurt is sleepy in his arms, Blaine whispers softly in his hair. "I can't wait to make love to you. What we do is special, and amazing and the best thing I have ever experienced, but to feel you inside me, or feel you around me, is gonna be mind blowing."

"Which would you rather?"

"Honestly, I don't care. I think maybe, for your first time you might be more comfortable to top, or you might prefer me to direct things a bit more and you be on the bottom. I don't know. Think about it. Tell me over the phone while I'm away, it'll give me something to imagine." 

"I love our late night phone calls," Kurt whispers dreamily.

"Me too, but I am going to miss you so much."

"So we'll keep busy. You've got tons of stuff to record, and I've got a new semester- we can speak every day and three weeks will be gone before we know it." His words sound confident, but his voice holds just a hint of tears, which Blaine then feels against his chest. 

"I know, I know." Blaine soothes, snuggling down so he can rub their noses together softly. 

"I love you, my soon to be even older man."

"I love you too gorgeous boy," Blaine answers with a laugh.

 

"And Blaine said to say hi," Kurt tells Santana and a pouting Rachel as they walk down the hallway.

"Why does Blaine say hi?" she grumbles.

"Because he's a weirdly dressed, oddly short man whose hair is gelled to within an inch of its life and who is actually a really sweet guy," Santana snaps. "Get over yourself Berry."

"I don't have a problem with him," she counters, "I just don't see why he would be saying hi to his sixteen year old boyfriend's friends." 

"Because I spoke with him this morning and he just casually said 'tell Santana and the others I say hi' Jesus Rachel, why does that have to be weird?"

"I don't like you dating him," she storms back as they enter the choir room. "I don't like it at all. It's not him so much as the entire situation. When I was dating Finn we weren't even allowed into his room together, and every time he tried to kiss me your dad would magically appear from nowhere, now suddenly you and Blaine are allowed on vacation together, you sleepover most weekends and Burt seems fine with all this!" 

"So....you're jealous," Santana states.

"I didn't say that!" 

"You didn't need to. But you know what? I'm guessing Kurt doesn't give a shit what you or anyone else thinks. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to carry on this conversation like you don't even exist," and sitting down smugly next to Kurt, proceeds to do just that. "So, tell me, what's lover boy like in bed?" 

"I uh...I um...well...." Kurt blushes furiously for a minute before looking her square in the eye. "He's really good." 

They laugh loudly together while Rachel turns her back, and the rest of Glee club is spent with her either simpering over Finn when he makes a very public apology to Kurt, or staring daggers at Santana. Kurt is just on his way through the door when Mr. Schue calls out to him. 

"Can I have a word?"

"Sure." Sliding his bag from his shoulder, Kurt waits expectantly while his teacher closes the door. 

"So....How is everything?"

"By everything, do you mean the endless torment I face here every day? Or my dad’s plan to propose marriage to Finn's mom, and the fact that we are moving house? Or- as I suspect you do- do you mean the fact that you very obviously overheard me telling Santana that Blaine is a good lover?" 

For a moment, Mr. Schue looks affronted, then embarrassed. Finally, he clears his throat, stares at the floor for a second, then looks him in the eye. “I’m just trying to look out for you.”

“Then pay attention when those jerks walk down the hallway and casually hurl insults my way. Notice when I’m in a different outfit after being slushied for the third time that day. Haul their asses to Principal Figgins when they leave me black and blue, but don’t go sticking your nose into my damn sex life!”

“You’re very young for all this Kurt,” Mr. Schue says softly. 

“I’m seventeen in less than two months. Quinn’s had a baby already.”

“You can’t compare your situation to hers,” he counters. “But anyway, I tried to be there for her and I’m trying to be there for you, that’s all. I just don’t want you to give so much of yourself to this man- physically and emotionally- that you end up hurt.”

“He wouldn’t hurt me, Mr. Schue,” Kurt says a little more kindly. “You don’t know him.”

“Well actually I...um....no. I guess I don't,” he agrees. “And I’ll admit, from what I saw of you two that time in the Lima Bean, he seemed very genuine, but this age thing bothers me.”

“Come to his next gig then,” Kurt says decisively. “He’s away right now, but he’ll be back in eleven days, two hours and thirty four minutes- then he has a gig the next night.”

“Okay,” Mr. Schue agrees. “I'd like a chance to talk to him. And Kurt...about the bullying...is that any better?”

“It seems to be,” Kurt nods. “My dad met with Figgins and he reassured him that if they carried on he would take further action.”

“So it’s stopped?”

“No, it’s not stopped,” Kurt says with a small, sad smile. “It’ll never stop. But the physical side seems to have died down. It's just the name calling now, and the slushies.”

“Well that’s a relief.”

“Excuse me?”

“That the violence has stopped.”

“Of course,” Kurt sighs. Shaking his head in stunned disbelief, he shoulders his bag once more and offers a vague smile in his teacher's direction. There really seems to be no point in continuing the discussion- Kurt knows that there is only one person who really understands what he’s going through, and he makes up his mind to go call him as soon as he gets home. “Thanks for the uh...talk, I guess.”

“You’re welcome,” a completely satisfied Mr. Schue says warmly. “Anytime.” 

“Fucking fag,” Karofsky sneers as Kurt walks towards his car. 

“Good afternoon to you too David!” Kurt calls over his shoulder. “Still keeping it up with the witty and intelligent insults I see. Good work!”

“People like you should be illegal,” he yells back. 

“Why? Too damn hot for you to handle?” Kurt taunts, turning to look at him before pulling his car door open. “You’re only jealous ‘cause you know that this piece of ass is taken by a real man!”

He drives away with shaking hands, pulling over into a parking lot as soon as he is out of sight, letting a few tears fall before composing himself. “Blaine,” he whispers to himself. “Just call Blaine.” 

 

“...So that’s why I couldn’t call until now,” Kurt explains, swallowing over the lump that just won’t seem to go away. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Blaine says cheerfully. “I understand. Burt and Carole engaged! Wow. So you’re happy for them?”

“Of course,” Kurt says quietly. “Things are so much better with Finn now, and I love Carole to pieces. She’s so right for my dad.”

“She is,” Blaine agrees. “So have they set a date?”

“October, but I don’t think they know any more than that. They want me to coordinate it.”

“That’s fantastic!”

“Yeah, it's not long to plan though.”

“Are you okay?” Blaine asks, worry creasing his brow as he settles into his hotel bed. “You sound upset.”

“I’m fine.”

“School okay?”

“Yeah, I guess. Santana and Rachel are fighting worse than ever. Rachel now wants Finn back, but he’s got his head in the clouds- literally and figuratively, and Santana just seems angrier than ever.”

“Hmmm. I’ve a feeling Santana is gonna really need a friend this year Kurt.”

“She doesn’t need anyone, she’s hard as nails.”

“She’s not. And she really loves you. She’s not as tough as people think.”

“I am a good friend,” Kurt bites. 

“I know you are,” Blaine tries to reassure. “Is that all that’s bothering you?”

“Yes.” 

“No.”

“What?”

“It’s not all that’s bothering you,” Blaine clarifies. “Tell me.”

“That’s all.”

“Kurt....”

“Blaine, please. I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” Blaine smiles down the phone, but still can’t shake the nagging feeling that something is wrong. “But we’re halfway now.”

“Yes. I can’t wait for you to be home.”

“Me too.”

“And to touch me, take me.”

“Oh, that’s the direction this call is going in, is it?” Blaine laughs. “Don’t use sex as a weapon, Mr. Hummel. You’re still upset about something and I want to know what it is.”

“Another time,” Kurt says. “It can wait, because I know that no matter what shit I may be dealing with at school, you are always here- or there- for me.”

“I am. Promise me you will talk to me about this though? Is that jerk bothering you?”

“A little, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. Now please, make me feel good before I go to sleep.”

Blaine sighs, but can’t help the stirrings of pleasure that flare in his stomach at those words. He presses the phone closer as he allows his other hand to trail down his chest to the top of his boxer shorts. 

“Have you thought any more about how you want it to be?” he asks, voice thick with desire as he allows mental images to come to mind. 

“Yeah...” Kurt breathes. “I think I’d like you to top.”

“Okay....I can do that,” he laughs, feeling suddenly nervous. 

“I like the idea of giving myself to you like that.”

“Mmmm.”

“And then I wanna do it to you...to claim you.”

“Fuck.”

“Blaine? You okay?”

A few noises are heard, then a slightly breathless Blaine comes back on the line. “Sorry, I dropped the phone. Shit. Yes. Any talk about claiming...I’m there.”

“You like that?”

“Fuck yes.” 

“You like the idea of me controlling you?”

“Hot....so hot...” Blaine chokes out as he takes his aching cock in his hand. 

“Want me to tell you when you can come?” Kurt asks, enjoying this far too much. He slows his own strokes, knowing that the noises Blaine is making will tip him over the edge far too soon if he doesn’t. 

“Yes,” Blaine moans. “God yes. I’m yours.”

“Tell me what you want to do to me when you’re home.”

“Everything,” Blaine replies instantly, trying but failing to suppress a groan as he imagines Kurt spread out naked beneath him. “I wanna taste every bit of you. I wanna take your cock in my mouth and suck you, feel you on my tongue.”

“Oh shit, yes.”

“While I’m sucking you I wanna open you up with my fingers. You like that?”

“God, yes Blaine. Do it.”

“I wanna see you. I wanna watch as you fuck yourself on my fingers and then on my cock. I want you to ride me. Shit...Kurt....”

“Don’t come yet,” he gasps. “Blaine....I can’t wait to feel you inside me. It feels like we’ve waited so long. I love you. I love the way you touch me, the things you do to me. I love the way you make me fall apart. I love that no one else gets to see or hear that- it’s just for me.”

“All for you, Kurt...everything.”

“Do you wanna come?”

“Yes!” Blaine cries desperately. 

“Come, and imagine you’re coming deep inside of me,” Kurt says, and then both their moans join together as their orgasms rip through them simultaneously. 

“Holy fucking hell,” Blaine whispers afterwards into the silence. “I’m not sure I’m gonna be able to cope with the real deal.”

Kurt lets out a laugh that has Blaine smiling, curling up on his side and holding the phone close as his insides tremor pleasantly at the sound. 

“You’d better,” Kurt says as he kicks his feet under the covers- not caring how childish he looks. “I can't wait.”

“Me either. You feeling happier?”

“Much. Thank you.”

“Thank you,” Blaine smiles. “Call me after school,” he says as he turns out the light. “And we can talk more about what upset you.”

“Can’t we do that again?”

“Maybe- if you talk to me first.”

“Okay,” Kurt agrees. “I feel bad, I didn’t even ask if your recording had gone okay.”

“It was fine. This part is the easy bit- next week they’re two musicians down so I’m on piano, violin and cello. It gets confusing and I’ll be busy. But never too busy for you,” he adds hastily.

“I know that. I love you Blaine.”

“You too.”


	20. Chapter 20

"I don’t know what's going on!" Burt cries desperately down the phone. "He came home from school, ran down to his bedroom and now he's on his bed, sobbing uncontrollably. He just keeps saying it's all over between you."

"What?" Blaine's heart feels as though it's being torn in two at those words, and he tries to speak as calmly as he can. "But I haven't spoken to him today. We spoke last night, and everything was fine. We made a date for today so we....you know what? Can I just talk with him?"

"You really don't know what's going on?"

"No, I really don't, but I'd like to find out."

"I'll see if he'll talk with you," Burt says. 

Blaine's insides do a funny twist as Kurt's anguished sobs grow louder in the background and he can picture him, face blotchy and eyes red, curled up on his pillows. 

"Kurt, Blaine wants to talk to you," comes the voice of Burt, followed by a muffled "Go 'way," from Kurt.

"Please buddy. If you’re not gonna tell me then at least tell him." 

Kurt sits abruptly and snatches the phone. "Go away Blaine. It's over." His voice is achy and raw, filled with tears and anger.

"What are you talking about?" Blaine asks, a laugh of disbelief playing in his voice. "We were fine last night."

"It's over. You and me. No more," Kurt sobs out.

"Would you mind telling me why?" he asks calmly, though in reality he feels like he might throw up at any second. 

"I cheated on you!" Kurt explodes suddenly. "I cheated on you, okay? And now you know that it's over because I can't even look at myself, so there's sure as hell no way you're going to want me anymore. Now fuck off and leave me alone." He hangs up and hurls the phone across his bed, where it topples to the floor and lands at Burt's feet. He bends and pick it up, then stands and stares silently down at his son. 

"What?" Kurt snaps with a mutinous glare.

"How could you Kurt?" his dad whispers, eyes watering. "How could you do that to him?"

"Maybe I'm just not the person you thought I was," Kurt replies and falls back onto his pillows once more.

It is dark when he wakes, he rubs his eyes as he stares into the gloom and tries to work out why he feels dead inside. Then it hits him, and the stark pain of his reality washes over him and manifests itself in fresh tears. He jumps suddenly when a figure rises up from his chair and flicks his desk lamp on. 

"What are you doing here?" he croaks at Blaine. "You're supposed to be in PA. I told you it was over."

"You didn't cheat on me," Blaine says quietly as he walks slowly toward the bed.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because I know you, and I know you would never do that to me. I don't know what has happened, but I know you didn't cheat on me." 

"You're supposed to be working." 

"I don't care. If you think I'm gonna let you end things like this then you're wrong. I can't let you go Kurt," his voice cracks and suddenly he is crying. Not a few tears like Kurt has seen before, but full on sobs, which shake his whole body and force him to sit on the floor where he wraps his arms around himself as best he can. "I need you too much. Just tell me what I did? Why don't you want me anymore?"

"It's not that Blaine!" Falling to the floor, Kurt is unable to resist taking him in his arms, for what he suspects will be the final time. Blaine clutches at him desperately, soaking his t-shirt with his tears which seem relentless. "I still want you, still love you, but you won't love me."

"I will always love you," Blaine cries. "Always."

"You won't!"

"Just tell me! Tell me whatever it is and let me be the damn judge then!" 

"Karofsky kissed me." 

"What?" Blaine's reaction is instant, uncurling his fists and letting Kurt's t-shirt fall, reeling backwards and staring at his boyfriend who tries to talk through great, heaving sobs. 

"He-he-he came at me and I-I....there was nothing I could do," he implores. "Suddenly he crashed h-h-his lips onto mine and then....then....then he told me he would k-kill me if I ever told anyone. I'm so sorry Blaine!" He falls forward, burying his face into Blaine's lap where he sits, motionless, frozen by anger. "I didn't mean for it to happen, and I never, ever wanted to do that to you. I've hurt you and I'm sorry, I'm so, so, sorry. I know I've lost you forever and I..." His words are cut off abruptly as Blaine seizes him by the shoulders and shakes him roughly, forcing him into eye contact. 

"How could you.....?" he whispers, his face just inches from Kurt's. 

"I know. I..."

"How could you ever think I wouldn't want you, or love you anymore?"

"Huh?" 

"Kurt.....this wasn't your fault, or something you wanted to happen. My darling boy, I love you so much. I hate that he's done this to you, that anyone thinks they have a right to do something like that against your will, and I want to fucking hunt him down and make him pay, but you? You? You are the love of my life Kurt- and that's not gonna change because of some pathetic low life bully." 

"You came back for me."

"I remember someone saying they wanted a man who would fight to get them, and fight even harder to keep them," Blaine says softly. "From that first second our eyes met, we were destined to be together Kurt, and I will fight forever to be with you." 

He closes the small gap and gently grazes his lips over Kurt's, pulling away to allow their eyes to lock on one another. As always, a moment of breathlessness ensues, their eyes are red and bloodshot from too many harsh tears, but the love is evident as Blaine tenderly cups Kurt's face. 

"I can't erase this for you," he says sadly, "and that hurts, to think that I can't be your hero, your knight in shining armor, but I can try as best I can to take away the pain and the sadness. Don't be ashamed Kurt, or upset. It was only a kiss. I don't mean to belittle kisses, because the kisses I've shared with you are nothing short of perfect, but I've kissed others, and it can be nothing more than a joining of lips. You have to look at it as that," he urges.

"I feel like he took something from me." Kurt's voice is trembling, fresh tears fall from his eyes as he leans into Blaine's touch. "He took something from me that wasn't his to take. I wanted you to be the only one."

"I am. I will be. He's insignificant. One day he will find his soulmate, but right now I'm guessing he's going through the biggest kind of turmoil imaginable. That doesn't excuse it, but it does explain it."

"What if he thinks I'm his soul mate though?" Kurt whispers, horrified. 

"You can't be, because you're mine," Blaine replies simply, kissing him softly once more. "Every kiss, every touch that we share will take this further away, until it's nothing more than an unpleasant memory that you choose not dwell on." 

"Don't leave me Blaine," Kurt implores desperately. "Please, just tell me you won't."

"Never, Kurt. I swear to god, I'd marry you tomorrow if I could. I don't want that to scare you...."

"It doesn't." Kurt blinks once, then fixes his blue eyes on Blaine's again and offers such a heartbreakingly sweet yet sad smile that Blaine finds himself struggling to speak.

"I'm gonna go up and talk to your dad for a minute," he eventually mutters, unable to continue the conversation for fear of breaking down completely. 

Kurt climbs wearily back into bed, as if the events of the past few minutes have overwhelmed him completely and he hasn't the energy to stay focused any longer. He pulls the covers tight around himself, shivering slightly, and closing his eyes at the gentle press of Blaine's lips to his forehead. 

"Rest awhile. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Explaining to Burt is hard, but not as hard as having to physically restrain him from getting in his car and trying to find where Karofsky lives. It takes Finn and Blaine on either side, with Carole's hands on his face and sharp words to pull him into focus, and convince him that this is not worth getting himself arrested and charged with assault. 

"I'll come with you to the school tomorrow," Blaine says, guiding Burt to the couch while Carole fixes their drinks in the kitchen. "This has gone too far now and I agree, the kid needs to pay for what he's done. But you or I being violent isn't going to achieve anything other than another heart attack for you and a probable dumping for me." 

"Y'know, when Kurt told me he was gay, I tried to imagine every possible scenario we might have to face." Burt says, wearily running a hand over his face as he sits. "I was prepared for bullying, I really was. I also thought he'd never find anyone until he moved away, and then I worried he'd get used and hurt so many times that he'd eventually give up on love. I think that was my biggest fear- that he'd never know what it is to be in love- that he'd face his future alone. But he found you. And I am just so eternally grateful that he did."

"I told him I'd marry him if I could."

"You can. When you're both mature enough," Burt offers with a small smile. "I wasn't prepared for this though Blaine. I wasn't prepared for the torment. I know more from Finn now, and honestly, some of those kids should be locked away for all they've done. There is so much that Kurt hasn't told me- or even you probably. I know he has slushies thrown at him in the hallway- and that they sting like a bitch. I know he has to change his clothes, and the purple and red stains never come out. I know that my son has to be grateful when he's hit by a blue one, cause he knows his shirt isn't completely ruined. I also know that Rachel, Quinn and whoever else help clean him up. I know that they look at him with pity, and tell him to ignore it. I know his teachers give him a sympathetic glance in the hallway, but ultimately they all think what can they do? He's gay.   
But he didn't ask to be gay any more than I asked to lose my hair. What gives anyone the right to throw my kid- my kid- in a dumpster, just because he fell in love with a guy and not a girl? Where do they get off, shutting him in a locker for an entire gym class, leaving him cramped and heaving for air- just because he chooses his clothes carefully and reads Vogue?   
I'll bet he could change a head gasket better than any of 'em, but none of them have ever given him half a chance to show who he really is." 

"They did that? With the locker?" Blaine asks in utter disbelief.

"Oh yeah. I didn't know of course. Finn reluctantly admitted it to me one night- I think his conscience finally got the better of him. He was there. He didn't participate, but he knew where Kurt was, and failed to tell anyone for fear of reprisal. I think he realizes now though, I think he really is trying to look out for him. The worst thing, for me, was to hear that when they let him out, Kurt got detention for cutting class- and he just took it. He didn't even bother to try and fight back, Blaine. He just rolled over and took it, because he knew it was a hopeless case. I'm a damn fool. I should've realized, should've done more. I thought it was name calling, until that day he got hit. Even then, after talking with the Principal, I walked away feeling sure that it would all be okay. I had his reassurance after all. His hollow, empty words that they would keep Kurt safe. I should have pushed harder, made Kurt talk more, made him tell me exactly what it is he endures."

"Burt....I have tried, you have tried, Rachel's tried- and I have to say Finn has been amazing recently. But ultimately Kurt won't talk about any of it. He's told me little bits, but when I push he clams up and I don't want to force the issue because then it becomes an argument. I should have done.....we all should have done more, but there's no use lamenting over what could have been- we just have to find a way forward, out of this mess. I think Kurt has tried to segment his life. School- and the bullying- goes in one box, glee in another, and friends and family in a third. He can open and shut those boxes at will, and when he closes the lid it’s out of his mind. At least, that's what I think he tries to do, but this thing has him beat." 

"So what now?"

"We go to the Principal first thing tomorrow, tell him what happened and demand it gets dealt with properly. We talk to his friends, that glee teacher included, and ask them to look out for Kurt more during school. If nothing changes we go to the police and the school board whether Kurt likes it or not and if there's still no progress you remove him from the school altogether."

"That would be a last resort," Burt says contemplatingly. "He has all his friends...."

"I know. And I wanna say it's only two more years, but it's two more years that could end up with Kurt withdrawing from you and finishing with me completely, and I don't want to lose him over something like this." 

"This makes me so goddamn angry!" Burt suddenly bursts out. "Who the hell does this jerk think he is, forcing himself on my son like that? And then to casually drop in that he'll kill him if he tells anyone? Jesus Christ. What kind of parents do you think he has?"

"Probably perfectly respectable ones, who go to church every Sunday and teach their kids proper table manners, and how to say grace before meals. They probably also teach them that boys should be boys, play sport, drink beer when they're older and only ever look at women- and when a gay kid grows up hearing that repeatedly, they start to think that the way they feel is wrong. I know, because one of the guys who beat me up was the same." 

"How did you get over it?"

"My friends," Blaine says, a smile forming on his face as he thinks back to Dalton. "I moved schools- I didn't have a choice in the matter- and found the most amazing friends I could have wished for. The more time I spent with them, the less my heart hurt. The physical scars faded over time, the ones on my heart remain, but my friends helped me through the dark times until the pain eased."

"We're gonna have to do that for Kurt."

"We are."

"So here's the thing.... I don't need to ask if you can help me do that, because I know you will. I'm not sorry for being an overprotective dad, but I'm sure glad you're here right now, and I want you to know that you're part of the family to me. You love Kurt more than anything, and for me, you're everything I could have hoped for in a son." 

A suddenly embarrassed Blaine stares hard at the floor, willing his tears not to fall. Eventually, all he can do is clear his throat and look to the man sitting next to him. He offers a small smile, and hope that he understands how much his words mean. 

“I’m sorry,” Burt continues, “y’know, that I’ve been tough. It’s just you’re his first...everything. And he’s growing up in so many ways, but then stuff like this happens and I’m reminded that he’s still a kid.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Blaine chokes out. “I understand, and my parents were the same. Let’s just...let’s just go see Kurt.”

They walk down the stairs quietly, to find Kurt still curled up under the covers, but one hand is stretched out and holding tight to Finn, who has obviously been crying. 

“I uh...I’ll go upstairs with mom,” Finn mutters, not daring to look anyone in the eye as he heads from the room- though Blaine does place a reassuring hand on his back as he passes. 

“Kurt, Blaine and I have talked. I owe you an apology for thinking you could ever have cheated on him.”

“I did,” comes the flat, emotionless response. 

“You did not!” Blaine kneels at the side of the bed and brushes his hair back lovingly. “You did not,” he emphasises softly. “Please stop saying that.”

“Blaine and I will go to the school first thing tomorrow,” Burt continues. “You can stay here with Carole. We’ll sort this, buddy.” Walking over to the bed, he stoops to kiss his son’s cheek. “I’ll go get you some warm milk, help you sleep.”

“You haven’t done that since I was a little kid,” Kurt says with a small smile. 

Burt nods, mumbles something intelligible and leaves. As soon as his footsteps fade, Blaine climbs onto the bed to gather Kurt into his arms, but he is stiff, uncooperative, and eventually Blaine settles for lying on his side to face him instead. 

“It’ll be okay,” he says kindly. 

“It’s my fault you know,” Kurt says to him, in a voice so quiet Blaine struggles to hear.

“It’s not, but tell me how you figure that.”

“Because I dared to hope. The end of the semester was so awful, and there was all the crap with Finn. But then that sorted itself, you and I were happier than ever... we made all those plans and for the first time in forever I was feeling happy and confident. I dared to hope things were better, that we were turning a corner. I should’ve know that for people like me, things never get better. For every good thing there will be a million other bad things waiting to happen.”

“Kurt. I love you,” Blaine says, taking his hand and holding it tight to his chest. “You have a loving and supportive family, friends who care for you....and me. I will always be here. Dare to hope, dare to dream- because one day you will have it all- in abundance. And I will be right by your side, watching, cheering you on and telling you ‘I told you so’ so much you’ll get sick of hearing it.”

“I do love you,” Kurt says hesitantly trailing his finger down Blaine’s chest. “But right now I’m not sure I can be the boyfriend you need.”

“If you’re trying to end things I’m not letting you,” Blaine says, a note of panic rising in his voice. 

“I’m not...” Kurt starts, unsure of what exactly he is trying to say. “I just....I don’t know. I’m asking for your patience I guess.”

“I can do that. But let me help you, Kurt. Don’t shut me out.”

“I’ll try not to,” he gives a trembling smile and presses his lips lightly to Blaine’s forehead. “Will you hold me until I’m asleep?”

“Anything for you, my gorgeous boy.” 

By the time Burt returns with two mugs of milk, Kurt is fast asleep, snuggled tight against Blaine’s chest who has his arms wrapped around him protectively. He startles when he hears Burt clear his throat, scrambling to extract his arm from under Kurt’s back. 

“Sorry. Uh...he asked me to hold him and I...”

“Stay.”

“Excuse me?”

“Just stay. He needs you. Finn can sleep upstairs in the guest room- give you both a bit of privacy.”

“You don’t mind?”

“No. In fact I think I’d appreciate it if you could take Kurt home with you tomorrow to spend the weekend.”

“I can do that.”

“Thank you Blaine. For everything.” 

It is only once Burt has left, when he’s put on a pair of Kurt’s pajamas, pulled the covers over them both, turned out the light and taken Kurt into his arms once more, that Blaine lets his tears fall.


	21. Chapter 21

“Did you sleep at all?” Burt asks Blaine the next day as they drive to the school

“Not really,” he answers, trying to suppress another yawn. “I think I eventually drifted off around five.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Just everything really,” Blaine says wearily. “I kinda ran out on work yesterday, so I’m not going to be popular- even less so when I tell them I’m not going back.”

“What did you tell them?”

“That there was a family emergency. I couldn't very well tell them my boyfriend was threatening to dump me.”

“I guess not. So will you get paid?”

“For the work I’ve already done, yes. But I had ten days left. That’s a lot of money to lose.”

“Will you be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll just have to pick some more gigs up I guess, but I’m not going away from Kurt right now. Not until I know he’s okay. I’ve let him down enough.”

“What? That’s crazy talk.” Burt pulls into a parking space and turns to face him. “You haven't let him down at all.”

“I promised him,” Blaine whispers into the still of the car. “I promised him I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to him.”

Burt stares through the windshield, composing his thoughts while next to him Blaine hangs his head. No words are spoken for a long time, then suddenly Burt reaches across and squeezes his leg. 

“I made him the same promise too, when he was seconds old and the doctor placed him in my arms for the first time. But I don’t think we ever stand a chance of keeping that. The only thing we can promise is to always be there for him when the bad things happen, and to help pick up the pieces- starting right now.” 

He strides confidently from the car, with Blaine at his side, and right to the school office, where he reliably informs the secretary that he will be meeting with the Principal immediately. After a heated discussion, Principal Figgins is eventually summoned and reluctantly leads the men to his office. Mr. Schue- never seeming to be doing much of any importance- has appeared, and greets Burt warmly, then turns to eye Blaine with suspicion. 

"Really? You brought the boyfriend?" 

"Blaine is Kurt's partner, yes. And seeing as it is he and I who are dealing with all this right now, he will be present throughout all of this, so that we can both ensure we get the best result for the person we love most." 

"As you know, Mr. Hummel, here at McKinley we have a very strict anti bullying policy," Mr. Figgins begins, but he is shot down immediately. 

"Don't give me that bull," Burt snaps. "You fed me the same line when I was sitting in this office one week ago. One week. And now my son is at home, a trembling wreck, frightened to set foot back in this damn building because he's been assaulted yet again. This has been steadily escalating since he was a freshman, and no one has done anything to try and stop it. Now he's getting death threats." 

Blaine actually says very little during the meeting- in fact no one does as Burt pretty much dominates, telling both teachers exactly what will be done to protect Kurt, and giving them no other option but to comply. He demands regular updates from the school regarding his son’s welfare, insists that they immediately start rolling out an anti bullying program for all year groups, and reminds them repeatedly that if they fail to carry out these demands, and if Kurt's safety is not paramount, he will contact the police without hesitation. 

"Which brings us onto the boy," he finally says. "I want to know how you propose to deal with him." 

"He will be suspended, Mr. Hummel, and asked to apologize to your son, but as there were no other witnesses, our hands are tied."

"Suspension sounds fair," Blaine eventually speaks up, "But I'm more concerned about rehabilitation. What are you going to do to ensure he doesn't pick up right where he left off?" 

"Uh...well...we can ask our guidance counselor, Ms. Pillsbury, to work with him."

"Is she any good?"

"I think I can answer that," Mr. Schue says with a glare in Blaine's direction. "She's the best. She knows just how to deal with situations like this." 

"So I have your word that Kurt will be safe in your school?" Blaine asks, ignoring the teacher and turning to the principal instead. 

"Did I miss the memo that said you're his father now?" Schue mutters. 

"That's it!" Blaine explodes, standing and whirling around to confront him. "I've had it with you! What is your problem? Huh? Still bitter that we beat you to nationals? Oh yeah, don't think I don't remember you. I'd have thought you would have grown up by now."

"It's nothing to do with that!" Mr. Schue disagrees hotly. "I just think you're making this situation a whole lot worse. By dating Kurt you're just giving them more ammunition- now they can add the fact that Kurt has a sugar daddy to their long list of taunts." 

"What the....!" But Blaine doesn't get a chance to say anything further before Burt pushes him forcefully into his seat and steps in front of him to face the teacher.

"Don't you ever, ever refer to Blaine as that again. You might not understand this, but they met and they fell in love. Nothing more, nothing less. The age gap is....surprising, yes. But you don't see that when you look at them together, really, you don't, and this whole family would have been completely lost if it wasn't for Blaine's unwavering support. As for giving them more ammunition, I think you're missing the point. My son has the right to date whomever he chooses, he shouldn't be made to feel that he can't date Blaine for fear of what they might say. Schue, I know you think you're trying to help, but you're going about it all wrong. You can help by supporting Kurt, by letting him know that if they come after him, he can come to you and you will do something, not advise him to dress down, or hide who he really is." 

Schue merely looks at the ground, nodding his agreement while Blaine continues to glare at him. It falls to Principal Figgins to break the silence, advising Burt to keep his son at home today and escort him to school on Monday. 

"I can't," he groans. "I have a client coming in early, and it's a big job."

"I can," Blaine says with a smug grin in Mr. Schue's direction. "I'll happily see that he gets to school safely." 

"Thank you buddy," Burt says amiably. 

 

"So...um...you wanna watch a movie or something?" Blaine is nervous, and it shows as he stands awkwardly in his hallway with Kurt's bags at his feet. He has been silent the entire drive over, and eventually Blaine gave up on conversation and turned the radio on instead. Now Kurt stands opposite- still in his pajamas having refused to get dressed, small and shrunken and curling in on himself, almost as if he waits for the walls to swallow him. He doesn't answer Blaine verbally, merely shrugs and pulls his arms around himself a little tighter. 

"We could....we could um...I dunno. We could bake something if you want? Like cookies?" 

"Whatever." 

"D-do you want to take a shower? Get dressed?" 

"No." 

"Okay." Blaine's eyes scan the hallway, his mind desperately trying to think of something useful to say, something that might make Kurt smile again but the best he can come up with is "I love you."

"I know." 

That hurts like a punch to the gut, but Blaine smiles tightly and tries again. "Do you want to talk?"

"No. That's the one thing I absolutely, do not want to do!" Kurt flares, then sighs heavily and walks into the living room where he curls up on the couch. "Just....put a movie on or something," he mumbles, turning his face into the couch to avoid the hurt in Blaine's eyes. 

By Sunday morning the silence is excruciating. Blaine had thought that an entire weekend together would help Kurt come to terms with what had happened, and that Blaine could comfort and reassure him- returning him to school feeling infinitely better. But things have only gone downhill, the final straw being when Kurt had shucked out of his embrace in bed last night, and curled up so close to the edge that Blaine couldn't sleep for fear of him falling out. In desperation he calls Santana, inviting her to come over and see if she can help, but after an hour she sighs regretfully, kisses Kurt's cheek and stands. 

"I'm sorry this happened," she says softly. "But you can't keep being like this. I'll see you at school tomorrow, and I won't let you out of my sight if that's what you want, but you have to smile at some point you know. Would it kill you to fall into Blaine's arms and let him kiss you until you can't think straight?"

"Fuck off Santana," Kurt snaps. "You know nothing. If you did then you wouldn't even suggest that." 

"When he called me I could tell he'd been crying."

"So? And you think I haven't?"

"I didn't say that, but he's trying his best, and you keep rebuffing him. The poor guy can't win!"

"If you feel that much pity for him, go find him and comfort him instead."

"I'm going to," she snaps as she walks away. 

She finds him in the kitchen, nursing a scotch even though it's barely noon. Taking the glass from him, she pulls up a chair and rests her feet on the table, and Blaine finds he hasn't the strength to argue. 

"Your boyfriend is a dick."

"Don't say that," Blaine whispers. "He's just...struggling."

"Which I get, but he won't let anyone help him. I've told him he should let you in, but I doubt he'll listen."

"Should I call Rachel?"

"Holy fuck no! Jesus. No."

"Okay. What should I do then?" He asks desperately, then huffs out a laugh. 

"What?"

"I'm thirty one years old and I'm asking a seventeen year old girl for advice." 

"Blaine please. I don't think gender or age comes into it. We're both just two lost souls trying desperately to cling onto the ones we love the most," Santana says kindly, then swipes at the tears in her eyes. 

"Care to elaborate?" he asks, taking her hand. 

"How long have you got?"

Over an hour later and Santana finally leaves. Blaine returns to the living room, where Kurt is staring at yet another mind numbing tv show. Falling onto the couch next to him, he lifts Kurt's legs and places them in his lap, happy when he doesn't object. 

"Finally remembered I'm here, have you?" Kurt mutters in his direction. 

"Kurt don't be like that."

"You've just spent an hour sitting in the kitchen talking about me with my friend. How am I supposed to feel?"

"Actually, we didn’t discuss you. Well, not for all of it. Santana is going through a really tough time right now. I told you she would need a friend this year."

"I'm her friend."

"And so am I." 

Kurt raises an eyebrow at this but says nothing, eventually reaching for Blaine's hand and offering a tiny smile by way of reconciliation. For now, Blaine knows this has to be enough. 

He cries that night, and allows Blaine to hold him tight, running reassuring circles over his back with firm fingertips and dropping soft kisses into his hair. Blaine thinks the dam may have broken, but Kurt's walls are firmly back up again the next day as they rise early and make the long drive to school. 

"Just call me....if you need me to come get you, or you're worried or upset...anything."

"Aren't you working?" Kurt asks sullenly.

"Um... No. I came home, remember?" 

"Oh." Kurt is silent then until they stand outside the doors of McKinley, where they get jostled in the throng of students reluctantly trailing into the building. Blaine can see Santana, standing off to one side and waiting patiently. She offers him a smile and he waves back while Kurt just stands, motionless. 

"I know this isn't easy," Blaine says as quietly as he can, "but keep in mind that Karofsky won't even be here today, okay?"

"Okay."

"And you have Santana and Rachel, Mercedes and everyone else- including Finn."

"I know." 

"And I'll be right here waiting for you after school." 

"You will?" Kurt seems surprised by this and Blaine gives him an odd smile. 

"Of course. I love you," he replies simply- as if that was the answer to everything. He stands, unsure of how to say the final goodbye but in the end he settles for a quick kiss on the cheek. Given that the few kisses they have shared this weekend have been brief and chaste, he is more than a little shocked when Kurt suddenly launches himself into his arms and hugs him tightly. 

"Thank you," he whispers into the crook of his neck, making him shiver. "Just.....thank you." There is so much more Kurt would like to say, needs to say- but he can only hope those few words convey everything because he suddenly finds himself too stricken with fear to speak. 

"You can do this," Blaine murmurs into his ear. "You can do this because you're my gorgeous boy and no matter what, I will always be here, waiting." 

This time his kiss goes to Kurt's lips, who accepts it readily and winds his fingers briefly into the few curls left free of gel at the back of his neck. 

"I love you Blaine."

"I love you too. Always." 

If he was to stop and think about it, Kurt would realize that school hadn't been that bad. In fact, nothing untoward had happened at all, and Santana glared at anyone who dared cross his path so no jocks would go anywhere near him. Blaine was waiting, as promised, and was happy to hear his day had been... if not good, then at least bearable. 

"Wanna go get coffee?" Blaine asks as they drive away. 

"No. I just want to go home." 

"Um...okay," Blaine says, disappointed but trying to show understanding- which seems to have been his mantra for the last few days. They arrive home and Kurt goes right to his bathroom, emerging a few minutes later in his pajamas. 

"Kurt...."

"What?"

"I just.... I thought we could maybe spend some time together."

"We are."

"It's not...this isn't..."

"What, Blaine? What is this if not spending time together? Huh?" He flops onto his bed, grunting at Finn as he appears briefly before taking one look at the couple and retreating to his own room. Blaine stands awkwardly, unsure of what to do or how to behave. Finally he settles on the very edge of the bed, staring at the wall and not daring to anger Kurt further. The silence stretches on and on, Kurt unsure of how to reach out to him, and Blaine fearful of doing anything wrong. A tentative hand finds it's way onto Blaine's leg and squeezes gently, and when he turns his face to him, Kurt offers a small smile. 

"I'm glad you're here."

"Really?" 

"Really."

"Can I kiss you?" Blaine's eyes are bright with unshed tears. Kurt feels so guilty he nods his assent and Blaine carefully inches towards him and grazes his lips over his. "I love you so much Kurt," he murmurs softly against his lips. "So damn much. I wanna make this better..." He kisses again, the pressure firmer but his words cause Kurt to stiffen and push him away. 

"You can't Blaine, so please don't think that you can."

"But I..."

"Can we just....watch a movie or something?"

"Another one?"

"You know where the door is if you don't want to." 

Blaine stares aghast, but Kurt is mutinous as he stares at the tv screen. Part of Blaine wants to get up and leave, but the other part- the huge, overwhelming part- wants to stay because he knows, deep down, that Kurt doesn't mean to be this way. So he settles onto the bed next to him, feeling a small surge of happiness as Kurt snuggles against him and hoping that soon, all will be well.


	22. Chapter 22

Kurt fumbles for his phone on the bedside table, glancing at the screen and noting the time as gone noon already. He ignores the ringing and closes his eyes once more, but after the fifth time he sighs heavily and presses answer without even cracking one eye open. 

"What?"

"Hey!" Blaine calls cheerfully. "So....dinner tonight?"

Kurt groans, falling back into the pit of his bed and squinting his eyes shut against the bright sunlight. "Ugh. Do we have to?" 

A pause, and then; "No." Blaine clears his throat, swallows hard and starts again. "No, we don't have to if you don't want to." 

"That requires getting dressed, and I don't think I can be bothered to make the effort," Kurt moans. 

"Okay."

"You can come over if you want?" 

"Um....no. Thanks, but I think I'll just stay here on my own." 

"Okay," Kurt says amiably. 

"I'll call you tomorrow," Blaine says quietly, then hangs up before Kurt can hear him break.

"Happy Birthday!" Wes sing songs down the phone. 

"Yeah." 

"Oh come on," he laughs, "I know you're not happy about your advancing years, but look on the bright side, you're still four whole months younger than me." 

"Mmm hmm."

"Grumpy ass," Wes laughs affectionately. "Kurt's gonna enjoy riveting conversation tonight."

"Yeah...uh...that's not happening." 

"What?"

"Dinner. Not happening." 

"Why?" 

"He's forgotten."

"What? How?"

"He's just....I dunno. Miserable, withdrawn, grumpy, tetchy, moody and fucking ignorant sometimes. I know why he's like it, but it doesn't make it any easier." 

"But...but that's not fair!" Wes cries. "I'm sorry, what Kurt has been through is awful, but that was three weeks ago. He has to remember that you are a person too, and he needs to be there for you as much as you're there for him. There's no excuse to forget your birthday."

"I wonder if he did, or if he's doing this deliberately," Blaine thinks aloud.

"I don't think he'd do that, would he?" 

"I don't know Wes." Blaine sighs heavily. "I don't know anything anymore."

"He's not mad at you though, so I don't get why he'd be doing it deliberately."

"Avoidance."

"Meaning?"

"Sex."

"Um....you've lost me," Wes says in confusion.

"Before all this, the plan for my birthday was that we would go out for dinner and then come back here for...."

"Sex."

"Yes." 

"And you haven't before?"

"No."

"Oh." Wes pauses and then offers, "Call him and remind him. Not about the sex, but that it's your birthday."

"Nah. He has enough to deal with, without adding a whiny ass boyfriend to the list." 

"Will you listen to yourself? I'll tell him."

"You will not!" Blaine cries hotly. "Don't you dare. Please Wes."

"He's gonna realize at some point you know. And then he's gonna be horrified." 

"And I'll deal with that when it happens, but right now I feel like we're only just clinging onto this relationship as it is, and I don't want to jeopardize it further." 

"Fine," Wes sighs. "Wanna go out and get hideously drunk instead?"

"Yes please." 

 

"Enjoy yourself last night, did you?" Kurt asks sarcastically. 

"Not really, no," Blaine mumbles as he trails into the living room after him. 

"Seven drunken texts and four drunk calls to tell me how much you wanted my 'hot piece of ass.' I did not appreciate it Blaine." 

"No, well you wouldn't, would you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kurt snaps. 

"It means you never appreciate anything anymore!” Blaine flares. “Anytime I try and do anything for you, or take you anywhere, you can’t be bothered, or you just flatly refuse. We used to do stuff, go places, actually talk and enjoy each others company. Now we just sit around here the whole time like we're waiting for some event that never seems to be happening!" 

"It was four in the morning!" 

"I'm not talking about the fucking phone calls Kurt!" 

He recoils back into the couch at the yelling, looking up to him with wide eyes. "You know what I'm going through right now," he whispers quietly. 

"I do. I really do,” Blaine says in a quieter tone.”And I'm trying to be patient, but it's been three weeks since you left the house other than for school. I have to drive here every day to sit around for a couple of hours before receiving a perfunctory kiss on the lips and driving all the way home again," he says sadly. "I just want a bit of affection, a chance to hold your hand and take you to the movies. I want to see you smile again. That's all I'm asking." 

"You have to drive here?" Kurt says, voice dangerously low. "You have to? Well guess what? No one’s making you. Don't fucking bother if its that much of a chore." 

"I didn't mean that. I..."

"Save it Blaine. Go home."

"What?" 

"Go home. Just.....go."

"Kurt...."

"I'll call you in a few days," he says, staring straight ahead.

"Um.....Okay. If that's what you want. But I didn't mean it's a chore to see you. I just want things back how they were."

"But they're never going to be Blaine!" Kurt cries desperately. "Don't you see that? He took something from me that day!"

"It was a kiss Kurt!” Blaine yells at him. “One goddamn fucking kiss, which you are now letting define you, and us, and you're letting it prevent you from being with me! You want kisses? Fine." Seizing Kurt's face, he crashes their lips together forcefully, pushing Kurt back hard into the couch when he's done then standing, breathless, looking down at him. "I'm sorry," he whispers shamefaced. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"Go."

"I love you Kurt."

"Just go."

 

"It's just....I haven't spoken to you since Sunday," Blaine says sadly down the phone. "You said you would call."

"I called you on Tuesday," a weary Kurt replies. "You were drunk again."

"Yeah...well..."

"Don't even try and put the blame onto me," Kurt warns, and Blaine is quick to reply. 

"I wasn't! Really. I just.... Ugh. Kurt, I'm just gonna ask it. Do you still want to be with me?" 

Blaine had hoped for an immediate and definite 'yes' but his insides twist unpleasantly as Kurt sighs and then whispers "I'm not sure." 

"Wow," Blaine says softly. "Um...wow. Okay. D-do you wanna....um....take some kind of break or something?" 

"No..." Kurt starts, unsure of how to continue. "I uh....I just don't know what I want to do about anything anymore."

"I'm sorry....the way I kissed you that day....it was....it was a disgusting thing for me to do. I just..."

"I told you already, don't worry about that," Kurt replies tersely. "Like you said, it's just a kiss."

"I wasn't referring to us, Kurt and you know it. Our kisses are- were- perfect."

"Whatever." 

"Are you still planning on coming Saturday?" Blaine asks, desperately changing the subject before he falls apart completely.

"Saturday? What's Saturday?"

"Lunch with my parents," Blaine says, so close to tears he has difficulty getting the words out. "At their house. Your dad and Carole are coming too....or were."

"What? When did we arrange that?" 

"Over a month ago," Blaine replies, and the unspoken 'before all this' hangs between them. 

"I don't remember," Kurt snaps tersely. "But yes...we'll be there. There's no way my dad will let me back out of this one."

"Y-you don't want to come?"

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. Look, Kurt....maybe....do you think maybe you could come to my place first? Then we could talk about things before we go. I think we need to discuss where we go from here."

"What time is lunch?" Kurt asks, bored by the conversation already. 

"Noon."

"Then no. I'll be sleeping until ten, when we have to leave. I'm not getting up any earlier."

"Kurt...."

"I'll see you there Blaine." 

"Fuck!" Blaine yells loudly as the line goes dead. He doesn't hesitate, just dials the number and is relieved when it is answered right away. 

"This is gonna be bad, isn't it?"

"Do I just dump him and have done with it?"

"Oh Blaine," Santana sighs. "I want to say yes, because he's treating you like shit right now. But I also know how much you love him, and how much he loves and needs you, even if he can't show it right now. Hang in there sweetie” she says kindly. “...... And if you ever tell anyone I called you that I will deny all knowledge." she adds as an afterthought. 

“I don’t think I can do this anymore,” he cries, then curses softly as his tears start to fall. “I’m sorry...to be putting all this on you...I just....I’m just so lost. I don’t know what to do! I don’t know how, or when this is gonna get any better....or even if it will at all.”

“Have you spoken with Wes?”

“Yes.”

“And?”

“And he thinks I should end it. Cooper too. You see, I’m always the one who gets used in relationships. At some point...way back when...I was quite cocky, confident. Then gradually, bit by bit that eroded. Some of it was due to me just growing up I guess, but a lot of it was to do with the guys I dated. I just always felt this overwhelming need to please them, to be desired and to be that one they can’t live without. I’ve only ever ended one relationship myself...and I only did that because it was so damn toxic that it was killing me.”

“The thing is Blaine, you are all that to Kurt...but you have to remember that he’s also that to you- when things are going well. That’s why you work so well together, because it’s an equal balance- two halves of a whole. I can understand your brother’s concerns, and Wes’ but I just think that somehow you have to work through this. Starting with telling him about your birthday.”

“No way.”

“I’m with Wes all the way on this one. You’re a grade A jerk if you think Kurt isn't going to be upset when he finds out. Christ, his self loathing is bad enough already.”

“Exactly, which is why I’m not saying anything.”

“Listen here you curly haired dumbass, it’s Kurt’s birthday soon. He’s gonna realize then, if not before. Just tell him, put him out of his misery. In a weird way, it might make everything better.” 

“Not gonna happen Santana,” Blaine sighs. “Oh crap. I don’t want this lunch to happen.”

“That’s tough shit sunshine, cause it’s gonna. Find some of that sass you used to have and use it. Make Kurt want you again. Be strong, confident....he’ll come running.”

 

“So please, please....just don’t say anything,” Blaine begs his parents as the doorbell rings. 

“But darling, if you and Kurt are having problems, why don’t you just sit down and talk about them? You’re both adults....Oh.”

“Because he doesn’t want to,” he hisses at his mom as he places one hand on the door. “I’m just hoping that at some point he will.” Pulling open the door, he plasters a smile on his face- the brightest he can muster- and lets the next few hours of torture begin.

Kurt is dressed at least- and does look like he has made an effort, probably thanks to a stern talking to from his dad. He greets the Anderson’s warmly but only gives Blaine a passing kiss on the cheek- almost as an afterthought. Blaine calls Santana’s advice to mind and carries on as if nothing was out of the ordinary. He makes sure to sit opposite him at the table- and notices Kurt eyeing him strangely as Carole settles next to him instead. Halfway through- when he has managed to ignore Kurt completely and make conversation with Carole and Burt about the wedding- he feels a kick to his leg. Looking across, he can see Kurt watching him, one eyebrow raised questioningly, but he only offers a vague smile in return and steadfastly avoids eye contact. He can feel the hope building within him, the thought that maybe his new found friend was right, and that pulling away from Kurt will soon have him running. 

“Apple pie!” his mom says proudly as she places it on the table. “I was going to make one last week, for Blaine’s birthday as it’s his favorite, but.... Oh. I wasn't supposed to say anything. Sorry darling.” 

Blaine’s face darkens as he glares at her, pretty sure he can see a small smile twitching on her face. It takes a moment, but it is Burt who catches on first. 

“Wait...it was your birthday? When?”

“Uh...last weekend,” Blaine says quietly, feeling all hope disappearing from within as he stares at the tablecloth not daring to look up at Kurt. 

“Why didn’t you tell us, Kurt?” Burt carries on. “We should have gotten something.”

“Blaine?” the voice is soft, and Blaine can see his hand reaching across the table to him. It is that which breaks him and he runs, scraping his chair back from the table as he tears through the house and out into the back yard where he stands alone, back to the house and shivering slightly despite the warm day. He hears the screen door open- that familiar creak he heard so often as a child- and he hears footsteps on the porch. But then there is silence until the voice comes- much nearer than he thought and it makes him startle. 

"It was your birthday." The words hang between them, not a question but a statement. Blaine stares at the grass and nods. 

"Oh Blaine, why didn’t you say something?" Kurt asks, the upset evident in his voice as Blaine shrugs noncommittally. 

"You were...." Blaine starts.

"A bitch."

"No!" he cries, turning to face him. 

"I was. I am being. You're right Blaine. I'm letting this define me when in reality, if I'm to be defined by anything I want it to be by our love. I am so sorry." The tears flow freely down Kurt’s face as he stands sideways to him, hands in his pockets, a look of pain and anguish on his face. 

"S'okay."

"It's not. You asked if we were going out for dinner and I just shot you down."

"It doesn't matter."

"I don't know how to make this up to you," Kurt whispers fearfully. "I don't know how to make it okay again." 

"I just want my boyfriend back," Blaine says giving him a trembling smile. "I know how hard all this has been for you, but I just want you to....not forget it, because that sounds like I'm trivializing it....but move on from it I guess. Be the Kurt you were. The Kurt I fell in love with. Just....let me love you." 

"I can do that," he says walking towards him slowly. "But does that make it okay?"

"It makes it better than okay, because it's everything I want." And this time his smile is more certain. 

"Y'know," Kurt says thoughtfully, "I can see it now. On your fiftieth birthday, we'll be sitting eating breakfast and you'll turn to our daughter to tell her this story again, and she'll roll her eyes and say "yeah, yeah, we know." And I'll kick you playfully under the table."

"Um...." 

"Don't even try and deny it, Mr. Anderson. You know it's gonna happen." Kurt says as playfully as he can. He advances one more step, closing the gap and stopping right in front of him. 

"Oh god...." Blaine groans as all his excitement washes away. 

"What?"

"When I'm fifty you'll only be thirty five," he laughs and closes his eyes as Kurt presses their foreheads together. 

"Thirty four," he whispers teasingly. "Seeing as my birthday is nearly two months after yours."

"I'm gonna need you to shut up and kiss me," Blaine says with a blissful smile.

"C'mere, old man." 

"We have makeup kisses!" Sara Anderson squeals as she clutches Carole's arm excitedly. ".....and I'm just going to look away right now," she says, turning back from the window with wide eyes as Kurt tackles Blaine to the ground and rolls on top of him, still kissing him deeply. Burt huffs, mutters something unintelligible and opens the back door. 

“Anderson!” he yells. 

Blaine lies on his back with Kurt half on top of him. Laughing, he holds both hands up and calls out. “He attacked me! I swear, I’m the innocent party in all this!”

Kurt laughs loudly and leans down for more kisses, but they are interrupted again. 

“Just take him home, Anderson.”

“What?” Blaine pushes Kurt off him and sits, turning to face the house. “Home...as in my place....home?”

“That’s where you live, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” 

“Then go. Just make sure he’s home by tomorrow afternoon to complete his homework.”

“Really?” Blaine calls excitedly. “He can stay all night?”

“Do you want me to change my mind, Blaine?”

“No!” he scrambles to his feet and tugs on Kurt’s hand, pulling them up to the house where he hugs Burt warmly. “Thank you.”

“Yeah....well. Just give me your word that you will actually sit down and talk about things. No good just falling into bed if you haven’t worked this mess out. And by falling into bed I don't mean..."

"Honey, be quiet now," Carole says in his ear. 

“We will, I promise,” Blaine says. 

They say a hasty goodbye, falling into Blaine’s car with delirious excitement and driving away quickly. Two blocks over and Blaine suddenly stops the car. 

“What?” Kurt asks in surprise. 

“I’m gonna burst if I don’t kiss you,” Blaine replies, and cupping his face lovingly, proceeds to claim his mouth in a series of kisses so passionate it leaves the windows steamed up and the pair gasping for breath. 

“I think...I think my old man better take me home before we’re arrested for public indecency,” Kurt murmurs against his lips. “And we need to talk.”

“I just wanna check...”Blaine starts hesitantly. “Is it gonna be a good talk or a bad talk?”

“The best, Blaine,” he answers, taking his hand in his. “The absolute best.”


	23. Chapter 23

"I love you, nothing else matters," Blaine says into Kurt's neck as he backs them down the hallway. 

"It does....and much as I've missed this...." He pauses to suck in a breath as Blaine nips at his skin, "right now I feel like the shittiest boyfriend the world has ever seen, and I really want the chance to apologize to you."

Blaine stops his ministrations and pulls back to look at him. "You don't have to," he says sincerely. "Just this," he gestures between them. "Is enough. The chance to hold you again, to kiss you....I thought I'd lost it all." 

"Can we....can we sit down?"

"Sure." Arm around Kurt's waist, he leads them into the kitchen where they sit at the table and Kurt takes his hand. 

"Um...so I guess I just...need to say some stuff. Stuff that I should have said so much sooner, but I didn't."

"Okay," Blaine smiles warmly.

"The truth is...you did nearly lose me. But that wasn't your fault. Honestly, I don't think I've ever really liked myself that much. You made me have confidence in myself. It took awhile, and it was gradual, but the last six months of being with you made me feel like I really could be who or what I wanted to be- regardless of what other people thought. Then that happened and it just....everything just shattered. I felt like he destroyed everything we had worked so hard to build together. The closeness, the intimacy....I wanted, so much, to take our relationship that step further. But when he did that it made me feel like...like he was there too. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake it off. It was only today, when I realized I might not have a choice, that I might really have lost you, that I started to panic."

"You didn't nearly lose me," Blaine says reassuringly. "I would never have finished things over something like this. I just...I just hoped that it wouldn't go on too long, and that you wouldn't decide to end it before we had a chance to talk. I think... the biggest thing is that you need to be the winner here, and right now he is. You're allowing him to ruin all the good things in your life- us, your friendships, your home life... And you don't deserve that."

"Will we be okay?" Kurt asks, terrified of what the answer may be.

"Of course." Blaine runs his thumb over Kurt's palm, smiling when he sees the boy visibly relax. "But I think we need to agree to some things to make this work between us." 

"Like rules?"

"Not rules...no. Guidelines is a better word I think, and ones which apply on both sides. The biggest one being that we tell each other stuff. The little things snowball into big things. All this with Karofsky...the night before, when we were on the phone, I should have pushed more. He'd been at you that day, hadn't he?" 

Kurt nods, staring at the table and eventually he speaks, his voice small. "Mr. Schue asked me to stay behind...when I was walking to my car he called me a fag, and I kinda....taunted him I guess. I told him he was jealous because I was taken. I think that spurred him on." 

"Maybe," Blaine says thoughtfully, "but I think it would have happened at some point anyway. He's obviously really struggling and doesn't quite know how to deal with his feelings. What did Schue want?"

"To warn me against you," Kurt smiles. "He overheard me and Santana, and I think he thought you were keeping me as some kind of sex slave." 

"The idea has merit," Blaine teases before turning serious once more. "Kurt, these are the things I'm talking about. I needed to know that this had happened. Not because I want to keep tabs on you, but because it helps me to understand you better, and it gives you a chance to offload. You have me. I'm not going anywhere. You don't need to keep all this bottled up because I'm here, wanting to listen and to help you. As for Schue...he was a couple of years ahead of me at school. We beat McKinley to nationals in his senior year, when I was the lead. He hated me because I was only a sophomore. I hated him because it was my first year at Dalton, and I felt like he tried to ruin that for me. I thought we'd gotten past that. Clearly not." 

"You knew him?"

"Yeah. Never spoke with him, it was all hearsay and rumors flying this way and that, but we used to stand in the wings glaring at each other. According to Wes he was actually a nice guy, but no one really listened to Wes, that's why he was so fond of his gavel." 

"You've lost me."

"Next time he has a party, you’ll see. Drunk Wes always gets his gavel out."

"Is that a euphemism?"

"No!" Blaine laughs loudly. 

"Why didn't you tell me you knew Mr. Schue?" 

"Because I didn't, not really. When you introduced us at the Lima Bean I just recognized him as the jerk from when I was in high school. But also, you seemed to really like him."

"I did. I do,” Kurt nods. “He's...an idiot sometimes but I think his heart is in the right place. I don't get why he didn't mention it either."

"Maybe neither of us wanted to upset you? I should have said something though, I'm sorry." 

"I'm sorry too. I am so sorry Blaine. I'm sorry I shut you out. I'm sorry I was insensitive and immature, and hurtful. And it will be to my eternal regret and remorse that I was so caught up in my self pity that I missed your birthday. But I want you to know that I am so grateful for everything you have done, and for the fact that you have stuck by me and put up with all the crap. I've never doubted your love for me, but you have proven yourself over and over." Swiping at his eyes, Kurt moves from his chair into Blaine's lap where he wraps his arms around his neck. "You know....when all this happened you said you couldn't take this away, that you couldn't be my knight in shining armor. But you are, and you always will be."

"Thank you," Blaine whispers and as he blinks two tears trickle slowly down his face. "Can we just agree that your apology is accepted and that's the end of it? I meant what I said; just the chance to hold you again- that we have survived this- is enough. As for the next step...." He pauses and laughs, shaking his head in disbelief. "I can't believe I'm saying this but....not yet. We need to retrieve all we once had. It's not gone, it's not forgotten but it's just....lying dormant shall we say? We'll know, when the time is right. And I don't want you to feel pressure to deliver just because you missed my birthday." 

"How do you do it?"

"Do what? Sex? Well Kurt, when two boys love each other...." 

"Goofball," Kurt says affectionately. "No. How do you always know the right thing to say? To allay all my fears and make me feel like it's all okay again?" 

"I don't. I just say what's on my heart.....I guess I'm just lucky that our hearts beat as one."

"That was really cheesy." 

"I know." He smiles up at him and leans in for a brief kiss. 

"Do you remember telling me that every touch, every kiss we share would take us further away from all this?" Kurt asks against his lips. 

"I do."

"Care to test that theory?"

"I'd fucking love to," Blaine says with a wicked grin. He tugs at Kurt's sweater, pulling him down again into a fierce kiss where he is quick to allow his tongue to meet with Kurt's, who grips his hair tightly as he moans into his mouth. Pulling apart, Kurt breathes heavily as he looks at him with darkening eyes. 

"The dirty mouth is back. It must be my lucky day." He yelps as Blaine stands with him in his arms and kisses him again, carrying him out into the hallway where he sets him on his feet again. 

"I'd totally carry you up the stairs, but I'd probably end up with a back injury," he laments with a smile. 

"Aw, bless you and your advancing years," Kurt teases as he begins to back up the stairs slowly, beckoning with his finger. "What a shame. Guess you won't be getting much of anything then...."

"Watch it Hummel," Blaine says darkly. He stays standing stationary at the bottom of the staircase, watching Kurt lustfully as he stops three steps from the top. "I'll chase."

"You'd never catch me," Kurt taunts, then turns and runs as Blaine leaps up the stairs three at a time. 

The chase that ensues is nothing short of ridiculous but a much needed release as they weave in and out of the rooms shrieking and yelling until eventually Blaine catches Kurt around the waist, hoists him over his shoulder before tossing him unceremoniously on the bed and falling on top of him. They pause awhile to catch their breath, laughing in between until Blaine dips his head and kisses him once more. 

"You look so beautiful like this," he breathes, smiling down at Kurt as his face lights up. "Alive again."

"Feels good," Kurt smiles, his first proper smile in weeks- which sets something off inside Blaine who kisses him hungrily once more. 

"Oh god Kurt..." Blaine manages to get out between kisses, "you have no idea how much I've missed making out with you." 

Kurt can't answer, too busy running his tongue into Blaine's mouth and moaning as he feels his pants getting tighter by the second. His hands fly to Blaine's hair, which has become steadily more disheveled throughout the day. Tangling his fingers into it he pulls, hard. 

"Fuck," Blaine growls. "Do that again." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah."

Another tug, which causes Blaine to make some kind of unholy noise as he fumbles to pull his t-shirt over his head, followed by Kurt's sweater. He groans when he sees the undershirt, but quickly makes light work of it then trails his tongue over any part of Kurt's chest he can. He sucks hickeys everywhere- a voice in the back of his mind telling him this will only land them both in trouble, but he is too far gone to care as he encourages Kurt to pull his hair once more. 

"Blaine...." Kurt cries, but all words seem to escape him when Blaine starts to play with his nipples, kissing a trail to the underside of his jaw as Kurt arches his back off the bed. "Fuck! Take me Blaine, just take me!" 

"No...." Blaine groans reluctantly. "Slow, remember?"

"I want you."

"And I'm very flattered," Blaine grins. "But we need time before we take that step- both of us."

"Kiss me again," Kurt demands, and Blaine is happy to oblige, devouring the boy who rises to meet him, pressing their bodies close and begging as Blaine worries the flesh on his neck. 

"Please Blaine! Do what the hell you want to me but just...." 

"Fuck my face," Blaine says roughly, pulling back to look at him. "Please. Let me just open my mouth and take you while you pull on my hair. Please." 

"I...I...um..." Kurt starts.

"No? It's okay. Sorry. We were supposed to be going slow but I just can't help it anymore...."

"I want to. I really want to," Kurt says as he pushes himself onto his elbows. "I'm just worried I won't know what to do." 

"Oh Kurt...." Blaine hovers over him and smiles into a kiss. "You are always completely perfect at whatever you do. And if you're not comfortable we really don't have to." 

Blaine sees it in his eyes, the moment Kurt reaches his decision. Initially he just chews on his lip thoughtfully, but then his eyes turn black as he flicks his gaze to meet him. 

"Get on your knees." 

Kurt has to suppress a laugh at the almost comical way in which Blaine scrambles from the bed, knees hitting the hardwood floor with an almighty thud but he doesn't seem to care as he grabs Kurt's thighs and pulls him close. He is quick to unbutton Kurt's pants, not even bothering with his own as he mouths desperately at Kurt's cock through his boxers. 

"Jesus.... You really want this, don't you?"

"Yes..." Blaine whimpers as he reaches down to palm himself quickly. "Fuck, yes."

"Um....what do I....?"

"Just....use my hair for leverage and fuck into to my mouth," Blaine encourages gently. "Imagine it's my ass if you want."

"Oh god I.....yeah," Kurt breathes. Blaine lowers Kurt's pants and underwear, eyes trained on his the whole time to search for any worry or uncertainty, but there is none. He takes in the way Kurt's breath hitches as he brings his hands up to cup his ass reverently, teasing him as he breathes hotly over his cock but withdraws slightly as Kurt tries to push against his lips. 

"Don't hold back, 'Kay?" Kurt nods, eyelids fluttering closed as he grips onto Blaine's shoulders tightly. "If it's too much for me I'll grab your wrists, but...don't...don't be afraid to go as hard and fast as you want." 

Kurt shakes with the force of his longing as Blaine runs his tongue along the length of his cock. Whimpering, his fingers find Blaine's hair immediately and massage his scalp gently while Blaine sucks lightly on his head. 

"You're so beautiful," he whispers before opening his mouth wide and sinking down around him. 

“Holy shit!” Kurt cries as the heat of Blaine’s mouth engulfs him. Blaine sucks gently, taking him deeper each time and then stills, waiting. Tentatively, Kurt pulls almost all the way out before pushing back in carefully and Blaine stays still, hands gripping Kurt’s ass as he hollows his cheeks around him. Kurt thrusts again, slightly harder which causes Blaine to hum in pleasure as Kurt cries out. 

“Shit Blaine, that’s good. So good. Can I...can I go harder?”

“Yes,” Blaine answers as he pulls off with a gasp. “Take control of this Kurt, I know you can. Talk to me while you’re doing it. Like you do over the phone.”

Kurt nods his agreement, still feeling a little unsure but once his cock is back in Blaine’s mouth he forgets all about his natural demeanour and just lets go. 

“Blaine....” He is quiet at first, his thrusts shallow and light as he focuses hard on not coming instantly, but when Blaine pulls him closer, and takes him deep in his throat, something snaps. Pulling all the way out, he waits for Blaine to catch his breath before he pulls hard on his hair, tilting his face up slightly as he runs one finger along his cheek. 

“So pretty....” he murmurs. “Open.” This time he is relentless, thrusting deep and hard into Blaine’s mouth who just takes and takes, humming his appreciation each time Kurt tugs at his hair.

“Blaine...you look so good,” Kurt says as he stares down at him. “Fuck....you just take me like you were made for me. Oh God,” he cries, and he has to stare up at the ceiling when Blaine starts palming himself in his pants. The sight of his boyfriend on his knees, lips curved enticingly as Kurt fucks into him- and the knowledge that this is turning Blaine on more than Kurt has ever seen- is too much. His hips buck wildly as he continues to fill Blaine’s face with deep, hard thrusts until he comes suddenly and without warning. Blaine holds the tops of his thighs tightly as Kurt pushes his dick all the way down his throat, pulsing and spilling into him as his balls meet Blaine’s chin. Pulling back slightly, Blaine swallows around him and then withdraws completely with a soft kiss to the tip of Kurt’s now over sensitive cock. 

“I...I...I can’t....I don't think I can stand up,” Kurt says weakly, and Blaine is quick to help him lie on the bed where he drops sweet kisses over his lips and cheeks. “Blaine...I....I didn't know I was capable of that.”

Blaine’s laugh is deep but raw, his voice scratchy as he pulls him into a tight hug. “I did. I always knew. Fuck...you were fantastic.”

“I should...” Kurt trails off, gesturing to the front of Blaine’s pants, but he is quick to still his hand. 

“Um...no. You shouldn’t. I kinda...already...”

“Really?”

“You’re hot as hell, what did you expect? When you started talking about me taking you so well I just lost it.” 

Kurt buries his head into Blaine’s shoulder, but he catches on and lifts his chin with his finger. “You can grin insanely, it’s okay.” And they laugh together as Kurt kicks his feet under the covers. “Feeling better, I take it?” Blaine teases as he kisses the tip of his nose. 

“Yes. Also feeling like theres a million and one different things I’d like to explore with you,” he answers honestly. 

“There’s time. Right now I don’t think I’m much use to you unless you want to explore cuddling though.”

“That’s fine by me...after you change your pants.”

By the time evening falls, and they have come undone at each others hands once more, they are left hungry and exhausted. Ordering in chinese food, they curl up together on the couch still just in their underwear and attempt to watch a movie- which then plays to no one as they abandon their food in favor of the tub, where Blaine discovers he can hold his breath for a surprisingly long time as he takes Kurt in his mouth yet again. They curl up in bed together that night, arms wrapped tightly around one another and staring deep into one anothers eyes. 

“I can’t stop touching you,” Kurt whispers as his hands rub softly up and down Blaine’s arms. 

“I’m not complaining,” he smiles. 

Breaking eye contact, Kurt looks down and mutters, “I’ll make it up to you.”

“What?”

“Your birthday. I’ll make it up to you.”

“I told you, you don’t need to.”

“I know. But I want to.”

“Right now I think you should sleep,” Blaine says sweetly as he tucks Kurt’s head into his neck. “I don’t think either of us have been sleeping very well, and now we can. I’m so glad we sorted this out,” he says with a kiss into his hair. “I can’t imagine what my life would be without you.” His voice cracks as he swallows over his sudden emotion, glancing down to find Kurt already fast asleep in his arms, where he belongs.


	24. Chapter 24

Kurt and Blaine become stronger than ever as time moves on. Karofsky stays as far away as possible from Kurt at school, and he finds himself enjoying his time there- rehearsing hard for sectionals, at which New Directions triumph once more. Blaine makes a tentative peace with Will Schuester, and it becomes commonplace for a large group of high schoolers and Blaine’s friends to assemble and watch Blaine perform at the Lima Bean each Friday- the acoustic night having been replaced by his first regular solo gig. 

They return to dating once again- Burt’s horrified expression followed by the grounding of Kurt for a week when he saw the hickeys covering his neck- made them realize sleepovers were out of the question for the time being. They make do with stolen moments- Kurt’s room in their new place affords them slightly more privacy than before, though magically Burt always needs to summon Kurt for something whenever they’ve been left alone for too long. But Burt seems to resign himself to the never ending presence of Blaine in their house, even talking him into playing piano for his and Carole’s upcoming nuptials. 

They marry at the end of October, in a simple yet beautiful ceremony which leaves Blaine and Kurt casting coy glances at one another before Kurt blushes and looks away. Santana- fast becoming one of Blaine’s closest friends- nudges him playfully in the ribs before they serenade the couple with Endless Love, both smiling as they realize how perfectly their voices match. It is Kurt, though who Blaine wants to sing with the most- but he flatly refuses. Blaine doesn’t push the issue, preferring to wait and hope that he will agree to it one day, but he finds himself moaning to Santana about it as he watches him dancing with Rachel and Mercedes. 

“He's never sang in public with me. Never.”

“He knows I have him beat, that’s why.”

“Shut up. We're amazing together, it sounds so good. But even at home- when we ever get five minutes alone- since all this Karofsky crap, he won’t open his mouth to sing.”

“Bet he opens his mouth for other things,” she smirks. 

Blaine blushes furiously and stares at the floor. 

“You need to put him on the spot.”

“Oh no, I couldn’t do that,” Blaine says hurriedly shaking his head. 

“Grow a pair, Anderson,” Santana says rolling her eyes. “Next week, ask him up on stage to sing with you. I keep telling Schue, don’t give him a choice in the matter- then he’ll do it. He doesn’t want to lose face.”

“Schue?”

“He offered him a solo for sectionals, he turned him down flat.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Whatever,” Santana says with a dismissive wave of her hand. “I mean it, get him up on stage with you. I know the perfect song. Now let’s dance.”

“I’ll dance with you until it goes slow and mushy...then I’m dancing with Kurt,” Blaine grumbles as he takes her hand. 

“Fine by me, I don’t want anyone to think I’d do you anyway.”

“You would though,” Blaine grins as they make their way onto the dance floor. 

“Yeah I would- if I had any interest in short ass men. Or men in general. But as with most things I’ve told you...tell anyone and I’ll kill you.”

“Goes without saying.” 

They dance together awhile, until they’re joined by their respective partners and the rest of the Glee club- save Rachel and Finn who are too busy sucking face in the corner. Blaine tries to keep it safe, but Kurt grinding against him suggestively soon has him desperately trying to hide his growing arousal- conscious of Burt staring them down. He is grateful when the music slows and he can press tight against Kurt as ‘Just the way you are’ starts to play. 

“Hmm,” Blaine laughs softly into Kurt’s neck, making him shiver. 

“Are you thinking about what I’m thinking about?” Kurt asks him.

“Our first dance?”

“Yeah.”

“I was taller than you....”

Kurt laughs as he stretches slightly and rests his chin on the top of Blaine’s head. “I’m sorry, what’s that you were saying?”

“Kurt,” he pulls away to look up at him. “Kurt, that was almost exactly a year ago.”

“Really?” he asks and then thinks it over. “Oh my god, it was. It was three days before my sixteenth birthday.”

They allow this fact to sink in, smiling softly at one another as Blaine's arms wind around Kurt's neck and they continue to dance. “I think we’ve come a long way in a year,” Kurt says eventually. 

“We have. I remember wanting to kiss you so much. Every part of me ached with longing.”

“Every part?”

“Every part.”

“Wanna get out of here?”

“Is your dad occupied?”

“He’s talking to Rachel and Finn. It looks like it’s the ‘no funny business while we’re on honeymoon’ speech that I got this morning.” 

“Oh?”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m ignoring it. Finn will too I expect.” 

“So....”

“Let’s go.” 

They run from the room, holding hands and laughing with the freedom of it all until Kurt pins Blaine against the wall in the hallway and kisses him deep and rough- just the way he knows Blaine likes it in stolen moments such as this. 

“Bathroom,” he commands into his ear as Blaine nods quickly. “I want you to suck me off before anyone catches us.”

“Fuck yes,” Blaine breathes and tugs Kurt further down the hall. 

“Anderson!” comes the booming voice, making them both stop in their tracks and hang their heads in defeat. 

“Mother of fucking God,” Blaine mutters, then turns. “Yes Burt?” he asks sweetly. 

“Where are you going?”

“Uh....”

“You wouldn’t be trying to sneak away for any reason, would you?”

“No, of course not!” Blaine cries, perhaps acting a little too innocent and wide eyed if the look Burt shoots him is anything to go by. 

“Good,” he huffs. “Now, I’ve told Kurt, and I’ve told Finn and Rachel. This honeymoon goes very much against my wishes. I don’t like the thought of leaving you alone for two weeks. Especially you two,” he says as he looks between them both. “I also don’t like missing Kurt’s birthday.”

“We’ve been through this dad,” Kurt sighs. “There weren’t any other dates available. It’s fine. I’ll have other birthdays.”

“Anyway Blaine, I’m counting on you to look out for both Kurt and Finn, and I want your absolute word that you will not, under any circumstances be taking up residence in my house while I am away.” 

“I promise,” Blaine says meekly, while Kurt shoots him a glare. 

“Okay...well we’re gonna be going soon, I’ll need you both to come back inside so we can say our goodbyes.” He ignores the groan from Kurt and strides confidently back into the room to find his new wife. 

“You’re looking very pleased with yourself,” Carole comments. 

“Yup. I made Blaine promise he wouldn’t sleepover. That boy won’t dare break his promises to me.” He raises his glass to her with a smug grin. Carole rolls her eyes, but says nothing. 

“What did you promise him that for?” Kurt hisses at his boyfriend as they trail back down the hall. “He’s got you over a barrel now.”

“No he hasn’t,” Blaine says smugly. “He made me promise I wouldn’t stay at yours.... He didn’t say anything about you staying at mine.”

Kurt stops mid step and looks at him, a slow grin forming on his face. “You’re a genius,” he says with a kiss to his lips. 

“I’m horny as hell,” Blaine corrects. 

*

But their luck is out for the rest of the weekend as Kurt and Finn are kept under the watchful eye of Carole's sister, who waves them off to school on Monday morning as if they were five years old. Blaine drives to Columbus for a meeting with advertising executives about a new line of commercials, looking forward to his evening with Kurt. As he pulls into the parking lot his phone alerts him to a text and he smiles at his boyfriend's name lighting up the screen. 

C is for your curls, which I love so very much. 

?? he types in response.

What?

That text.

What text?

The weird text about my hair.

I'm in school.

You're still weird.

And you're still beautiful. See you later xxx

Laughing to himself, Blaine pockets his phone and attends his meeting, which is hugely successful and leaves him with a dopey grin on his face as he hurriedly drives to McKinley. Kurt comes running, and though Blaine raises an eyebrow at Finn trailing behind, he is too excited to say anything. 

"Good day?" he asks with a kiss to Kurt's lips. 

"Strange day," he answers, then takes in the look on Blaine's face. "So you have news."

"I do," he says, bouncing on the balls of his feet excitedly. "I've just been asked to write all the music for Kendalls commercials.....which includes a huge ass paycheck and me not needing to back it up with session work."

"Meaning....?"

"Meaning I don't have to travel any more....Well. Not for the next six months anyway, which is how long the campaign will last- and then I'm hoping they might keep me on. And I can still work from home." 

"That's amazing!" Kurt cries as he hugs him tightly. "We should go out and celebrate."

"I wanna celebrate," Blaine says over his shoulder, then lowers his voice to whisper in his ear, "but I was thinking we might celebrate by staying in....alone." 

"Um....you know I said my day had been strange?"

"Kurt he didn't..."

"No. No. Your mom called me."

"What?"

"She invited you, me and Finn to dinner." 

"Oh please tell me you didn't accept?..... You accepted, didn't you?" he asks as Kurt looks guilty. 

"What could I say? She was saying how worried she was about Finn and I being left alone...."

"Ugh." Blaine thumps his forehead in frustration. 

"You're mad?"

"No," he says with a sigh, wrapping his arms around him tightly. "I'm not mad. Just....frustrated. I need to be with you," he emphasizes quietly while Finn stares hard at the ground, trying to be discreet. "It's been so long." 

"Soon, I promise." Kurt says bringing one hand up to cup his cheek. 

And so it is that Blaine finds himself moaning wantonly as Kurt kisses him hard the next day. He had worked solidly all day in order to leave his evening free for Kurt, and had not been disappointed when he had been pulled through the front door and immediately pinned against it. 

"Jesus Kurt...." he gets out between kisses. "Missed you....so.....much,"

"Less talking, more action," Kurt mutters into his neck as he tugs him into the living room and pushes him onto the couch. 

"Here?"

"Why not? There's no one home."

"But I...."

"I'll make sure to swallow every drop," Kurt says into his ear before moving lower. 

"Fuck." 

Blaine's pants quickly find their way to the floor as Kurt kneels between his legs, looking up at him sinfully as he palms his growing erection through his briefs. "Want me to suck you?"

"Yes," Blaine breathes, “But come up here a second.”

“Oh?” Kurt drapes himself over Blaine and looks into his eyes. 

“I just....hold on.” He sits, keeping a tight hold of Kurt and removes both their tops before falling back into the couch and pulling Kurt against him. “I just really wanted to hold you,” he whispers into his hair. “It’s been too long since we were like this. It’s all stolen moments and frantic blowjobs.....and I just.... love you.”

Kurt kisses him deeply then pulls back to run his finger along his jaw. “I love you too,” he smiles. “And I love that you only want that from me.”

“I don’t only want that,” Blaine admits honestly. “You’ll be on your knees soon enough.” 

Kurt laughs at the teasing, playing mindlessly with Blaine’s chest hair as he smooths his hands over Kurt’s arms. “Just give me a minute here.”

“Are you emotional?”

“Yeah,” Kurt says, sniffing slightly. “You’re cute. I know you’ll say you’re too old to be cute, but you are. Or endearing, should I say?”

“I don’t know which one I prefer...” Blaine ponders for a second and then kisses the tip of Kurt’s nose. “Sexy? Can I be sexy?”

Kurt laughs and moves to straddle him, looking down and running his hands over Blaine’s chest again. “Hmm, if it’s sexy you’re going for I wouldn’t be giving butterfly kisses,” he jokes. 

“What should I be doing then?” Blaine teases back, eyes sparking with laughter. 

“Putting this to good use,” Kurt says, grinding his ass down against Blaine’s cock. 

“Oh god. I....I can do that.” Blaine pushes his groin upwards, cock hardening again as Kurt meets him. “Can you...can you get those jeans off?” 

“It has been done before.”

“Then do it,” Blaine says, voice going deep with lust. “Now.”

“.....Because I am telling you Finn Hudson, if you ever want to get further than first base you’re...Oh my GOD!” The unmistakable shriek of Rachel Berry echoes loudly in the living room as she takes in the sight before her. 

Blaine lies on his back, clad only in his briefs while a bare chested Kurt sits on top of him, hands paused on his belt buckle. Finn trails despondently after her, eyes going wide when he looks up to see the couple. 

“Dudes!”

“What?” Kurt bites at him. 

Blaine had been expecting a hissing and indignant Kurt, not this cocky man who is still sitting astride him, one eyebrow raised questioningly. 

“Like what you see Rachel?” Kurt asks her, as she snaps her jaw shut and stares at the floor. 

“Uh...we kind of have people coming over,” Finn mutters, averting his gaze. “Like right now. Sorry......like, really sorry."

“Oh for fucks sake,” Kurt groans as he reluctantly climbs off his boyfriend, who pulls his pants on as quickly as he can. 

“Sorry,” he mutters- more embarrassed than he’s ever known- though Kurt still seems nonchalant. 

“Can we...can we just pretend like this never happened?” Rachel whispers, clearly still mortified. 

“I think I’d like that,” Blaine agrees. 

“It never did happen,” Kurt snaps as he rearranges his top. “You interrupted us. We’re going to my room. Come on Blaine.” 

“Hold it hotstuff.” Santana calls as she strides into the house. Blaine pauses, hand in Kurt’s who is trying to pull him up the stairs. “Get your mack on later. I wanna talk to you.”

Their evening is spent together but apart- Blaine is cornered by Santana who asks for endless advice about Brittany, while Kurt is locked in conversation with Mercedes and Rachel concerning Finn and Sam. It’s not that either minds giving advice and listening to their friends, but by the time Blaine stands on the doorstep to say goodbye, Kurt’s eyes are filled with unshed tears. 

“I wish you could stay,” he says softly. 

“I know. But I promised your dad. Will you stay the weekend with me?”

“Of course,” Kurt smiles. “Just try and stop me.”

“Want me to call you when I’m in bed?” Blaine asks into his neck, making Kurt shiver with delight. 

“I think I’m gonna save myself for the weekend,” he answers with a kiss to his lips. 

But Blaine’s phone still lights up with a text as he settles under the covers that evening, and he reads it several times before replying. 

H is for your hands, which always love to touch. 

What? I’ve been trying to think of a witty reply, but seriously, what?

Goodnight old man, I love you xxx

Insane. But I love you too xxx


	25. Chapter 25

I is for I love you, nothing more and nothing less. 

F is for f**k off I was sleeping. 

Ha! Rise and shine sleepy head. I’ve already done an hour of school.

What are all these texts? 

I like texting you. 

You didn’t answer my question. 

I have lessons. xxx

 

Blaine laughs, pulls himself from the bed, showers and heads to his recording studio. He doesn’t see Kurt that day, though they talk on the phone- and he wakes to another text on Thursday. 

C is for your caring kisses which are the very best. 

I don’t even know what to reply anymore. You’re insane.

See you tomorrow?

What? Not today?

Mercedes Birthday. 

Ugh. I forgot. Okay. Well, have fun. Guess I’ll see you tomorrow after school. I need to kiss you badly. 

Blaine! You can kiss me well or not at all.

It wasn’t supposed to read that way and you know it. 

Punctuation goes a long way in texts. 

My hand goes a long way across your butt. 

Now you’ve turned the conversation into something else entirely.

 

“Isn’t he amazing?” Kurt sighs dreamily as Santana and Rachel roll their eyes. 

“He looks better with his clothes on,” Rachel remarks dryly. 

“I would have to disagree,” Kurt says leaning his elbow on the table. “But I’ll take him anyway.”

“I’ll bet you will,” Santana mutters. 

Blaine finishes his song and as ever, his eyes search for Kurt in the crowded cafe. They have both been giddy with excitement since Blaine picked Kurt up from school. They had gone for pizza with Wes and Sebastian before arriving at the Lima Bean- and though the sexual frustration was palpable, Blaine knew that it was worth waiting until they were safely back at his house for the night. He offers Kurt a wink before moving back to the piano and addressing the audience. 

“So uh...thank you, as always, for turning out. I’ve been playing here for a long time now, and some of you might have noticed a certain handsome young man who turns up to every performance.” he stops and grins bashfully as the audience emit a chorus of ‘Ahh’s’ then looks directly into Kurt’s eyes. “And...well...not only is he incredibly beautiful, he also has the most stunning voice I have ever heard. Plus, he made me the happiest man alive the day he told me he loved me.”

“Too sappy, Anderson!” Sebastian calls and Santana adds a very loud ‘Agreed’ as the audience laugh.

“Anyway,” Blaine sticks his tongue out at them briefly before turning back to Kurt. “He's been holding out on me...." Blushing as the crowd catcall, he hastily adds "with the singing, I mean. The singing! A voice like yours needs to be heard Kurt."

"Oh god..." Kurt murmurs as he tries to hide in Rachel's hair. 

"So....I wondered if you would do me the honor of getting up here to sing with me?" 

Blaine waits nervously, for what feels like an eternity. Panic sets in as he watches Kurt hastily conversing with the two girls and he wonders if he's pushed too far. It is Wes who gently encourages him, Santana who forces him from his chair and Rachel who frogmarches him to the stage where he flies nervously to Blaine's side and hisses; "I'll get you for this. What are we singing?" 

"Remember the last time we sang together at my place?"

"Blaine....."

"Please?" His eyes are so sincere, so full of love and hope and focused only on Kurt that he can't help but be drawn in, and suddenly it's like they're back in Blaine's music room together, just the two of them as he nods to Blaine to begin the music. He doesn't sing out to the audience but leans instead on the piano and looks down to Blaine with a tender smile. 

"You tell all the boys "No"  
Makes you feel good, yeah.  
I know you're out of my league  
But that won't scare me away, oh, no

You've carried on so long,  
You couldn't stop if you tried it.  
You've built your wall so high  
That no one could climb it,  
But I'm gonna try.

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?  
Would you let me see beneath your perfect?  
Take it off now, boy, take it off now, boy  
I wanna see inside  
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?" 

He opens his eyes to find Blaine beaming at him, and he breathes a huge sigh of relief as his boyfriend takes over. 

"You let all the boys go  
Makes you feel good, don't it?  
Behind your Broadway show  
I heard a boy say, "Please, don't hurt me"

You've carried on so long  
You couldn't stop if you tried it.  
You've built your wall so high  
That no one could climb it.  
But I'm gonna try

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?  
Would you let me see beneath your perfect?  
Take it off now, boy, take it off now, boy  
I wanna see inside  
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight, oh, tonight?"

And then they're together, Kurt's hand resting on Blaine's shoulder- still totally absorbed in his mesmerizing gaze and the passion flowing from him as they sing.

 

"I'm gonna climb on top your ivory tower  
I'll hold your hand and then we'll jump right out  
We'll be falling, falling but that's OK  
'Cause I'll be right here  
I just wanna know

Would you let me see beneath your beautiful?  
Would you let me see beneath your perfect?  
Take it off now, boy, take it off now, boy  
'Cause I wanna see inside  
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight, oh, tonight?  
See beneath your beautiful, oh, tonight.  
We ain't perfect, we ain't perfect, no.  
Would you let me see beneath your beautiful tonight?" 

There may have been applause- Blaine thinks that there was- but neither listen as he stands and kisses Kurt tantalisingly slowly on the lips. 

"Let's go home," he whispers, and Kurt nods, lacing his fingers into Blaine's as they walk from the Lima Bean together. Kurt thinks the applause is still going, and is pretty certain he hears someone yelling 'go get some,' but whether it was Sebastian, Santana or even Wes (unlikely) he couldn't say as the night air hits them and he pushes Blaine gently up against the car for another deep kiss. 

"I love you so much." 

No words are spoken on the drive home, there is no need as Kurt fuses himself as tight to Blaine's side as he can, who slings an arm around him and kisses into his hair. Kurt's fingers keep a never ending trail over Blaine's thigh until they reach home and he reluctantly moves so Blaine can park the car. Stepping into the house in silence, they don't even bother with lights, walking hand in hand up the stairs and into the bedroom, where Blaine finally flips on a small side lamp. 

"I love you too," he eventually returns, then takes Kurt in his arms once more, seeking out those lips he adores. Clothes are removed slowly, Kurt trying to tease Blaine as much as he can but ultimately giving in- tasting, touching and taking as Blaine pulls Kurt close to him. 

"This has been too long," Kurt groans, pressing his body as close to Blaine's as he can. "I need you."

"I know." 

The talking gives way to soft sighs, the sounds of lips and tongues on skin and the trembling of legs and hands as Blaine carefully lies Kurt down on the bed and circles his entrance with his finger. "I-if you want to stop...."

"I don't." 

Blaine nods his understanding, dropping soft kisses to his knees and running a soothing hand down his thigh as he pushes his finger inside. Kurt's face creases into a frown, but then Blaine watches as he visibly relaxes and reaches to pull him down into a kiss. 

"You okay?"

"Yeah...." Kurt breathes as Blaine slowly works him open. "Feels good." Moving to lie alongside him, Blaine continues to kiss Kurt deeply, distracting him from the stretch as he adds a second and then third finger until Kurt can't take it any more and breaks the kiss to throw his head back and moan loudly. "Oh god Blaine....I didn't know it would be this good.....I don't know if I...."

"You can," Blaine whispers encouragingly. "Just....don't touch yourself," he says as Kurt's hand leaves his hair and travels down. "I will, in a moment."

"Please....just.....please." 

"I know. I know."

His hands shake almost uncontrollably as he kneels between Kurt's legs and fumbles with the condom packet and Kurt finds his nerves oddly soothing as he curses quietly under his breath. 

"Blaine?"

"Sorry," he huffs in frustration and hangs his head. "I want this to be perfect but I'm fucking terrified." Offering Kurt a small smile, he is surprised when the boy sits and wraps his legs around him, hands finding the soft curls at the back of his neck. 

"Why?"

"I don't want to hurt you, or let you down."

"You couldn't. You wouldn't," Kurt reassures as he kisses his cheeks. "Um...have you ever had sex without a condom?"

"No," Blaine frowns slightly. "It never....."

"Fine. Problem solved," Kurt says decisively as he takes the foil packet and flings it across the room. "Here." 

He picks up the lube and drizzles it into his hand, stroking it over Blaine's cock and scraping his teeth along his neck. Blaine whimpers and moans, bucking up into Kurt's fist until suddenly it's gone and he opens his eyes to find Kurt lying back against the pillows, waiting. 

And this time his smile is blazing as he looks into Kurt's eyes and feels their connection stronger than ever. He pushes inside as carefully as he can, hovering over Kurt on trembling arms and giving him time to adjust. Eventually, after what seems to Blaine like the longest time ever, he can push no further and he stills, bending to kiss at Kurt's brow where he can see the sweat forming already. 

"Okay?"

"Um...yeah," he whispers, swallowing over his slight nerves as he offers a dazzling smile of his own. "Actually, I am." The feeling of overwhelming fullness is strange, but not unpleasant and he leans his face into the gentle caress of Blaine's hand over his cheek. And then Blaine starts to move. Kurt had always wondered what it would feel like, but he didn't expect it to feel this good this quickly as Blaine carefully pulls nearly all the way out then pushes back in. Everything in Kurt tingles, pulses and throbs in the most delicious manner as Blaine fills him again and again and his senses are overwhelmed with the man he loves most. 

"Blaine...." he moans softly. "Blaine, this is....oh.....this is good."

"Put your legs around my waist," he encourages as he picks up pace a little and Kurt cries out loudly at the new angle. 

"Fuck! Is-is that....?"

"Yeah."

"Don't stop." 

"I wasn't planning on it," Blaine answers with a small laugh. He leans down and steals one more kiss and then his thrusts drive deeper, harder as Kurt unravels beneath him. "Kurt, you're so beautiful," he breathes, the moment so tender and precious that he feels to talk above a whisper would be sacrilege. Taking Kurt's cock in hand, he begins to stroke in time with his thrusts, which causes Kurt to wrap his legs tighter around him and rise from the bed slightly to dig his nails into Blaine's back. 

"Blaine....Blaine...."

"It's okay," he whispers, pressing his face into Kurt's damp hair. "Let go gorgeous boy."

And he does, spilling hard over Blaine's hand as his head falls back in a silent cry of pleasure. Blaine follows, holding Kurt tight as he pulses inside him, dropping sloppy and erratic kisses wherever he can before falling down on top of him where he tries to catch his breath.

"Blaine....?"

"Mmmm?" comes the muffled response. 

"You're squishing me."

Pulling back, Blaine laughs and kisses Kurt's cheek warmly before he withdraws as carefully as he can. Wincing at the loss, Kurt shifts slightly on the bed and then his eyes go wide. 

"Oh."

"Hmmm?"

"Um..."

"Yeah," Blaine laughs. "It was you who threw the condom away."

"I don't want there to be anything between us," Kurt says simply. "Ever." 

"How do you feel?" Blaine pulls him close to his side, ignoring the unpleasant stickiness for now in favor of cuddling. 

"I fucking loved it," Kurt grins as Blaine roars with laughter. "I love you." 

"Good," he says, gazing at him with adorably twinkling eyes. "Maybe we can do it again sometime."

"Hmm, maybe," Kurt says with a long kiss to his lips. "But right now I'd really like a shower." 

Clean and sated, they crawl happily under the fresh covers. Blaine leans over Kurt to check the time on his phone, frowning when he sees a new message. 

"When did you text me?" he asks Kurt, looking down at him in confusion. 

"When I was in the bathroom at the Lima Bean," he smiles sleepily. 

A is for age....but you can't help being so old. 

Blaine laughs, returning his phone and snuggling in tight behind Kurt. 

"I've still got it though," he says into his neck. 

"Yeah you have."

"What are you playing at?"

"You'll find out soon enough." 

 

G is for your glorious ass, on which I'm pretty sold. 

"Go 'way" Blaine says as he rolls onto his front and pulls a pillow over his head, dropping the phone on the floor. 

Kurt laughs in response. "I was pretty proud of that one. C'mon. Get up."

"No." 

"Come on," Kurt says with a kiss to his shoulders. "I made breakfast."

Blaine rolls over and sits, smiling appreciatively at the two plates of bacon and eggs and mugs of coffee. His grin gets even wider when he notices Kurt removing his robe and climbing back under the covers, wearing nothing but a pair of Blaine's underwear. 

"I could get used to this," he says with a kiss to his lips. "You okay?"

"I'm a little sore," Kurt admits shyly. 

"I could kiss it better?"

Smacking him playfully on the arm, Kurt hands him his plate. "You know how they say the best cure for a hangover is more alcohol? I think I know just how to make things better," he grins, leaning over and stealing a piece of bacon from Blaine's plate. 

"Hey!" 

"I'm a growing boy!" Kurt protests through a mouthful of food, which has Blaine waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Rolling his eyes, Kurt swallows. "You're gonna spend all day turning everything into innuendo, aren't you?"

"Pretty much," Blaine says with an impish grin. "And I ain't even sorry."

"Oh honey, you can't pull ghetto off." 

"Thanks. So....your text."

"Yes?"

"Please tell me what's going on. It's been a week now." 

"Nope."

"Tease."

"You have hardly any food in this house," Kurt says, draining his coffee and setting his tray on the floor.

"Now you're changing the subject."

"Just an observation. I was going to offer to cook dinner tonight."

"Wanna be really mundane and come grocery shopping with me then?" Blaine asks. 

Everything in Kurt soars at the prospect of doing something so....domesticated together, and he tries desperately to act indifferent as he replies "Sure."

"Cool," Blaine says nonchalantly, secretly thrilled at the thought of choosing groceries with his boyfriend. "I have some errands to run later too, so I figured you could catch up on your homework."

"Can't I come with you?"

"No, because unless I'm very much mistaken it’s somebody's birthday tomorrow, and I don't want you knowing what I'm up to." 

 

"I wanna ride you," Kurt moans that night as Blaine's fingers stretch him wider. 

Lifting his head from where he has been eagerly sucking on Kurt's cock, a slow smile spreads across Blaine's face as he falls onto his back. "I'm all yours." 

Grabbing Kurt’s hips tightly, he guides him carefully until he sits tight against him and Blaine moans at the feeling of being buried so deep. Kurt stays still for a moment, running his hands through Blaine’s chest hair until he leans in for a kiss. 

“Holy shit,” he cries, the kiss forgotten as sparks of sharp arousal shoot through his body. “Oh god. Blaine...”

“So ride me,” he says with a cocky grin, then his eyes go wide as Kurt proceeds to undulate on top of him slowly. “Oh fuck.”

“Not good?” Kurt asks in a panic. 

“Too good,” Blaine groans through gritted teeth as his hands rise above him and grip the headboard tightly. “Fuck..... It’s just....perfect.”

“You like it?”

“Hmm,” Blaine smiles, eyes heavy and dark with pleasure as he pushes his hips off the bed to meet Kurt’s ass each time. 

“I ride you well?”

“Fuck yes. You take me so well. So fucking gorgeous.” Hands moving back to Kurt’s hips, he pushes up hard, and Kurt throws his head back in pleasure as he feels Blaine’s cock grazing over his prostate. 

“I love you so much,” he groans loudly. “I love feeling you inside me.”

“Ride me harder, Kurt,” Blaine demands. “Take me.”

So he does. Rising and falling it is not long before both are breathing hard as Blaine takes Kurt in his hand and they tip over the edge together. Kurt falls forward to kiss Blaine’s lips tenderly before curling up on top of him with Blaine buried inside.

“Is it acceptable to spend my seventeenth birthday asleep on you?” he mumbles weakly into Blaine’s neck. 

“Tempting as that is, no,” Blaine laughs. “You’d miss out on presents and other fun stuff.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning wait and see, gorgeous boy. Wait and see.”


	26. Chapter 26

“Happy Birthday to you...” Blaine sings softly as he spoons himself tighter around Kurt’s sleeping form. 

“Is it today already?” he asks groggily. 

“Yes,” he laughs. “Come downstairs when you’re ready.”

His warmth vanishes so Kurt drags himself reluctantly from the bed and into the bathroom before wandering downstairs to find the kitchen table filled with presents and food. 

“What’s all this?”

“Your dad and Carole left gifts with me- though they have more for when they come home. Plus there’s a gift from Cooper in there somewhere and the rest is from me,” Blaine says proudly, taking him in his arms.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” Kurt mutters, embarrassed. “Not after...”

“Oh hush. You know that’s over and forgotten.” Kissing his lips firmly, he guides him to the table where he sits in a chair and pulls Kurt into his lap. “Do you remember when I first held you like this?” he asks as Kurt snuggles against him. 

“I do.”

“You were so lost, so frightened.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“I want to, because I want you to recognize how far you’ve come- how far we’ve come- since then. I’m so proud to be with you.” 

“Really?”

“Of course!” Blaine cries indignantly. “Why would I say it otherwise?”

“I don’t know. I just....sometimes I still have trouble believing that this is all real, that we are together and that I am loved.”

“Well believe it, cause it’s real and I’m not going anywhere. Now. Food first, or gifts?”

Kurt brightens considerably as each gift is opened, and he actually squeaks when he moves onto Blaine’s gifts and unwraps a Burberry coat. 

“Oh my god Blaine! This is....This is...This is current season! I’ve never owned anything current season before. Oh my god!” Standing, he puts it on immediately, twirling happily as Blaine laughs. “This must have cost you so much money,” he whispers suddenly, looking at him with wide eyes. “You didn’t have to...”

“Kurt. That damn magazine of yours has been open on the same page for weeks. Everytime I pass your desk, there it is. And I’m guessing it’s either the model or the coat you were referring to when you circled the picture, wrote ‘want sooo badly’ on it and drew hearts everywhere. I just hoped it was the coat.” 

“It was the coat,” he laughs happily. “It’s cashmere,” he says knowledgeably. 

“I know.”

“It’s full name from the collection is mid-length cashmere trench coat in pale gray melange,” he continues blissfully. 

“Okay.”

“And it retails at...”

“I know what it retails at,” Blaine says, smiling happily as he goes to him. “And I also know that you look insanely hot wearing it- even over your pajamas.” 

Kurt kisses him happily, pulling away slightly breathless, cheeks pink with exhilaration. “Thank you,” he says against his lips. Closing his eyes, he runs his fingers happily over the lapels, laughing when Blaine pulls him close once more. 

“You have more gifts,” he says softly. 

Kurt doesn't remove the coat, but settles back into Blaine’s lap as he hands him the last gift. 

“Uh...and this is...yeah.”

“That makes perfect sense Blaine, thank you.”

“No I mean it’s...um...you know. If you don’t like it you can change it.”

Kurt removes the lid from the box carefully, setting it aside and gasping as his eyes fill with tears. He holds the silver charm bracelet carefully, running his fingers over the links before examining the three charms. 

“It’s uh...”

“Why these ones?” Kurt asks quietly. 

“Um...” Kurt looks up to him as he pauses and notices him struggling to speak. He flushes red as he clears his throat and tries again. “So um...the music note is because that’s how we first met- and it’s something that means so much to both of us. The uh...the microphone is to remind you how much I love your voice, and it has blue and amber crystals inset because that was the closest match I could get to our eyes,” he pauses to laugh softly- still shy- then takes the bracelet in his own hands. “And the heart...for love obviously. To remind you that you always have my heart, and...”

“To have courage,” Kurt says softly, eyes filling with tears as he traces a finger delicately over the word engraved on one side. 

“A-and I had a diamond inset,” Blaine says nervously. “Because one day I hope- more than anything- that I can put a diamond on your finger.” He bites his lip, worried he has said to much but then Kurt surprises him.

“Not if I get there first,” he says, wiping at his now streaming eyes. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, or all this,” he says, gesturing to the table. “But I love you so much. Thank you,” he says, eyes full of sincerity and love. 

They exchange sweet kisses then settle back in the chair, content to be held by one another and just let time wash over them, until Blaine reluctantly moves. 

“You have to get going,” he says begrudgingly. 

“Me? What? Why? Where am I going?”

“To the mall. You’re meeting Rachel, Tina, Mercedes and Quinn. Rachel has my credit card along with instructions to buy you whatever clothes you want and lunch for everyone.”

“Are you kidding me right now?”

“Nope,” Blaine grins. “You can take my car, but be back by three- my parents want to stop by and say happy birthday.” 

"Why aren't you coming?"

"Because they're your friends and they want to see you for your birthday. We have the rest of the weekend together....namely tonight." 

"You have plans for tonight?" Kurt says, winding his arms around his neck. 

"I do." 

"Kiss me," he breathes. "Kiss me hard, like you're never gonna get enough."

"I never can," Blaine says, cupping his face. "I wanna drown in your kisses." 

Kurt is late to meet his friends, though they are hardly surprised. He does feel a small glimmer of satisfaction though- shutting up Rachel's moaning with "Sorry I'm late, I was getting my birthday blowjob." Then he remembers Santana isn't present to laugh, and the others look horrified apart from Quinn who smirks. "Okay!" he says brightly. "Let's shop." 

He returns home triumphant- eagerly telling Blaine that a lot of stores had sales and happily showing off his new purchases before handing back his credit card. 

"I-I wasn't going to use it..." he starts. 

"I know you weren't, which is why I gave Rachel express instructions to stand right by your side and hand it over before you each time. I trust she delivered?"

"She's Rachel," Kurt remarks dryly. "She has to win." 

The doorbell rings and Kurt answers, leaving Blaine to feel slightly silly at the thrill of Kurt making himself at home in his house brings. 

"Kurt darling!" Sara hugs him warmly and kisses his cheek. "Happy Birthday! I'm so glad it's your birthday," she prattles as she makes her way inside with Mike trailing behind. "Seventeen sounds better than sixteen. Seventeen is nearly adult. Not that I have an issue, but Mrs. Edgemont did raise her eyebrows slightly when I told her. Of course, she's hardly one to talk. She's eleven years older than her husband for a start so I really don't..."

"Mom," Blaine cuts her off.

"Hello darling."

"Please stop talking."

"Okay darling," she smiles happily. "We have cake. I'll go make myself busy with that." 

Mike falls into the nearest armchair and sighs with relief before nodding in Kurt's direction. "Happy Birthday my son," he says- ignoring the way Kurt's mouth falls open in surprise and carrying on. "Have you spoken to your dad?"

"Uh...this morning," he replies meekly, still in shock at this man calling him his son. 

"Good. Are they having a nice time?"

"Yeah. Um...yes. Dad keeps moaning that it's too hot, but other than that they're enjoying themselves." 

"I see you like the bracelet," Mike comments as he catches sight of the silver around Kurt's wrist. 

"Oh," Kurt starts in surprise and confusion. "Yes. I um..."

"Can I look? I've not seen it. Blaine asked my advice- whether I thought a bracelet was too feminine or not. I said not. I'd wear one. Cooper does, not a charm one but a bracelet nonetheless." 

As always with Blaine's parents, Kurt finds himself relaxing in their presence- enough to share a slice of birthday cake with Blaine and take turns feeding each other. Sara calls them cute and demands a photo, Blaine gets embarrassed and Kurt laughs at him- even more so when Mike retells a story of four year old Blaine smashing his cake up so he didn't have to share it. 

"He gets protective of his food," Sara laughs along with him as Blaine hides his head in his hands. 

"I noticed," Kurt agrees. "I have to fight him for cheesecake. I've found my nemesis." 

"I remember when Blaine was six..." Mike starts, but Blaine gets to his feet. 

"Okay, okay. Enough. Go. Leave now," he laughs. "You've said too much already."

"He was playing in the yard with the neighbours daughter, Jessie..."

"Dad...." Blaine moans. "You really do need to leave. I have plans. Plans that don't involve you- and this is why." 

"I go to check on them," Mike continues unabashed, "only to find them both naked under the apple tree. Well..."

"Oh my god. Please. Mom. Help me," Blaine begs as he pushes his cackling dad out into the hallway. 

"I think it's safe to say that's the only female Blaine has ever been naked with..."

"Go!" Blaine cries, opening the door and pushing his dad outside. "Mom, thank you for the cake and I..."

"Apparently it had all been her idea, and Blaine had been disappointed when she refused to go and fetch her brother!" Mike laughs heartily, while Kurt wipes at tears and Blaine looks mortified and tries to hide in Kurt's shoulder. 

"Are you done?" he asks weakly. 

"I am," his dad says as he hugs him and Kurt in turn. "I promise to leave and not return until I have some more stories," he grins. 

"I'll look forward to it," Kurt smiles in return and then kisses Sara's cheek. "Thank you for everything," he says sincerely. "You didn't have to do all this."

"We wanted to," she says warmly as she holds tight to his hands. "We love that Blaine is so happy and settled, and we have you to thank for that. Plus, we love having you in our lives, darling. You're a wonderful young man. I know your dad is proud of you, and rightly so. Enjoy your evening," she says as she climbs in the car. 

Kurt and Blaine stand arm in arm in the driveway waving them off- the picture of domesticity as Kurt kisses Blaine's still hot cheek. "You are adorable when you're embarrassed," he says softly. "And your parents are wonderful." 

"I look like a little kid when I'm embarrassed, and my parents are mortifying," Blaine corrects, then makes Kurt yelp as he hoists him over his shoulder. 

"Blaine! Where are we going?"

"To get ready," he replies. 

He refuses to elaborate further, just telling Kurt to dress smart casual until he notices his anger at not knowing what to wear is starting to simmer. 

"Okay. We're not going out anywhere," he says as he kneels between his legs. "Why don't you wear your jeans, and that shirt you got today? The scarf from my parents too," he says as he notices a large hickey forming from their efforts in the shower. 

"Yes, I wonder why your parents thought to get me a scarf?" Kurt teases as he looks in the mirror. "Maybe it's because I've been unable to stop wearing them since I've been with you." 

"Sorry." 

"Don't ever be sorry for loving me," Kurt says as he turns and wraps his arms around him. 

"Yeah...your fault for being so damn lovable."

"Hey.... You okay?" Kurt asks as he lifts his chin gently. 

"I just...want you to be happy with tonight's plans," he says nervously.

"Do the plans involve you?" 

"Of course."

"Then I will be." 

Blaine throws open the door to the music room and flips the light as the loud cry of "Surprise!" goes up, followed by a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday in true Glee club style. Kurt struggles to take in all the smiling faces, but he sees enough to know that every one of his friends is there- even Mr. Schue. Wes, Sebastian, Nick and Jeff line the back wall and Santana makes her way over to him and hugs him tight. 

"What the...?" he starts. 

"You like?" she asks, gesturing to all the decorations. "I couldn't come to the mall with you because I was helping Blaine and Wes set all this up. Actually, it was because I can't stand Berry for longer than five minutes, but this seemed like the perfect excuse."

"But....how did they all get in?" he asks, turning to a smiling Blaine. 

"Wes has a key," he says with a shrug. "That's maybe why I kept you in the shower longer than strictly necessary," he whispers in his ear. 

"Really? And I thought you just wanted to make sure certain parts of me were really clean," he teases- then gets deafened by Rachel's shriek of indignation. 

"Kurt! Really. Wasn't this morning enough?"

"Never enough where my boyfriend is concerned," he says smugly as she blushes. “You got beer?” he asks Blaine as Puck and Finn immediately head to the table. 

“Uh...yeah.” Blaine shrugs, embarrassed. “I don’t...I didn't know what to do. I’m not altogether comfortable with it, but I’m your boyfriend, not your dad so...”

“Thank you. Not just for the beer,” he adds hurriedly. “But for doing all this. Convincing them all to come.”

“I didn’t have to convince anyone,” Blaine says as he holds his hand tightly.These people are all here because they want to celebrate your birthday with you- even my friends. You are liked, Kurt. You are loved.”

He kisses him then, deeply and passionately in front of everyone. Kurt ignores the catcalls in favor of winding his arms around his boyfriend’s neck and kissing him back with just as much emotion until they break, breathless, with their pupils dark and wide with longing. 

“Let’s get this party started,” Blaine whispers. “Cause I’m looking forward to bedtime already.”

 

“Truth or dare!” an over exuberant Brittany calls loudly the second Will and Emma have politely said their goodbyes. 

“Really?” Sebastian snarks. “What are we, sixteen?”

“Um...most of them here are seventeen, but close enough,” Wes says with a friendly pat on his shoulder. “It may not be your thing, but it’s Kurt’s party- and he looks pretty happy to be playing.” He nods across the room where Kurt is hurriedly gathering everyone together. Blaine stands with Wes, watching. Kurt’s cheeks are flushed adorably after two beers, and he’s perhaps more giggly than usual but other than that nobody seems too bad. He silently congratulates himself for buying just the right amount of alcohol and hiding the rest of his liquor in the trunk of his car- having already caught Puck trying to find it. 

“This is gonna be mortifying,” Blaine moans as he settles behind Kurt who happily leans back to rest against his chest. 

“It’ll be fun,” he answers excitedly. “Just don’t choose a dare.” 

The first few rounds are pretty tame, everyone rolls their eyes when Finn happily dares Rachel to kiss Quinn, then looks like all his christmases have come at once when she obliges. Brittany answers a vulgar question from Puck which leaves the entire room knowing more about her and Santana than they ever wanted, and then it is Kurt’s turn. 

“Truth,” he says with a nod. 

“What’s the filthiest thing you and lover boy have done?” Santana asks with a smirk. 

Kurt blushes, hard and swallows repeatedly before answering. “I..uh..I don’t want to answer that,” he says quietly. 

“Okay. Move on,” Wes calls, trying to save him any further pain. 

“Hold up!” Quinn calls to him. “If Kurt won’t answer then he has to take a dare.”

“I have one,” Sebastian says eagerly. “Kurt. I dare you to kiss...”

“No.” Blaine’s answer comes loud and clear as he pulls Kurt back against him protectively. 

“I wasn’t going to say me!”

“Doesn’t matter,” he snarls. “Kurt doesn’t kiss anyone else. Only me. Now move on.”

“Thank you,” Kurt whispers and Blaine relaxes as he feels the tension leave Kurt’s body. 

“Blaine,” Tina says with a smile. “What’s the furthest you and Sebastian have ever gone?”

“Ew. Some credit please,” Blaine says, wrinkling his nose in disgust. “I’ve kissed him three times. Once when we were playing spin the bottle at school, on my twenty first and on his- when we were both incredibly drunk. That’s all. No further.”

“Sebastian?” Rachel looks to him as he nods. 

“He’s telling the truth. It's not for want of trying on my part, I can tell you.”

“Why were you playing spin the bottle?” Quinn asks in confusion. “Didn’t you go to an all boy’s school?”

All the school friends look anywhere, everywhere- except at the line of questioning faces- and Blaine pushes a laughing Kurt into the crook of his neck as he tries to explain. “We were just...”

“I guess that explains why you're all such good friends,” Santana remarks. “I never had you down for that, Wesley.”

“I only kissed Blaine!” he cries indignantly as everyone else falls into laughter. 

The party breaks up not long after, and Blaine takes a weary Kurt in his arms as the front door finally closes. “It’s late. Let’s go to bed, I’ll clear all this in the morning when I’ve taken you to school.”

“No, let’s do it now,” Kurt says as he tries to stifle a yawn. “Then we don’t have to worry. It’s not too bad anyway.”

“Really Kurt....”

“Blaine. Don’t argue with me. We’re not leaving it until tomorrow.”

An hour later and Blaine has just taken out the last of the trash. Stepping back in the kitchen he looks around to see Kurt has disappeared, and his phone immediately alerts him to a new text. 

O....On the piano.

He runs, tearing his shirt over his head as he bursts into the music room, now pristine again after the party. 

“Fucking hell.”

“I couldn't stop thinking about this,” Kurt says as he lowers his phone with a grin and picks up the bottle of lube instead. “When we were playing truth and dare, all I could really think about was what it would feel like to be taken by you on the piano.” Completely naked and sitting on the smooth piano top, Kurt unashamedly leans back and opens his legs wide- and Blaine struggles to breathe when he notices Kurt has stretched himself already. 

“When did you...I can't believe....fuck....When did you do that?” he asks in amazement. 

“On and off all evening,” he answers lightly. I’ve been sneaking out to the bathroom and stretching myself that little bit more each time- imaging it’s you and your fingers doing it instead.”

“Holy shit.”

“Cause you like that, don’t you Blaine?”

“Yeah,” he breathes- incapable of answering any further. 

“Because I’m yours.”

“Oh fuck. You’re so hot,” he murmurs as he runs a hand over the front of his pants. 

“Take the rest of your clothes off, Blaine.” Kurt commands softly, swallowing down the nerves that make his palms slick and his heart pound. “Then climb up here and fuck me. Take me. Show me that I’m yours and nobody else’s.” 

Blaine is naked by the end of Kurt’s sentence and doesn’t hesitate in climbing atop the piano where Kurt has draped himself elegantly. Taking the lube, he quickly runs his hand over himself before pushing swiftly inside, moaning louder than Kurt has ever heard as he buries himself deep inside. 

“Fuuuuck,” he growls as he clutches Kurt tightly, nails digging sharply into his shoulders. “So good.”

“All yours,” Kurt murmurs in response as he kisses from Blaine’s shoulder up to his neck before finally finding his lips. 

“Mine,” Blaine says simply, kissing him hard and dirty as he drives into Kurt at an unrelenting pace. The room is silent apart from their labored breathing and the sound of skin on skin. Blaine holds Kurt so tightly that the friction from their bodies is enough and he moans wantonly beneath him. 

“More...need...more. Harder.”

Pulling out, Blaine jumps to the floor and pulls Kurt with him, spinning him around so he rests his arms on the piano lid. Kicking the stool out the way, Blaine holds Kurt’s hips tightly as he bends him over and fucks into him hard, repeatedly, as Kurt works his own hand over his hard cock. 

“Blaine I can’t...I’m...oh fuck!” He comes hard, vision turning blurred as his orgasm rips through him. Blaine carries on, too far gone to stop, coming with an almighty yell as he slams harder than ever into Kurt, who holds the edges of the piano for support. He drapes himself over his back for a moment before pulling out and falling to the floor, encouraging Kurt into his lap where he kisses him softly. 

“We have defiled my piano,” Blaine smiles against his mouth. “Or rather, you have.”

Looking up, Kurt gasps as he sees the splashes of white dripping slowly down the lid. “Oh my god Blaine! I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he says easily. “I’ll just think of you everytime I play. Holy shit Kurt. That was incredible. Are you okay? I was pretty rough.”

“It was amazing,” Kurt agrees as he twirls his soft curls in his fingers. “And I’m fine. I just might be limping for a few days.”

Blaine laughs softly into his skin. “I think you need to help this old man to bed,” he says quietly. “And let me curl up in your arms all night.”

“I couldn’t stop you if I tried,” Kurt says, standing and pulling Blaine to his feet. “Thank you Blaine, for the best birthday ever.”

He smiles softly, running his hand over Kurt’s cheek and looking deep into his eyes. 

“Anything for you.”


	27. Chapter 27

“Chicago!” Blaine yells suddenly, sitting bolt upright. 

“Ha!” Kurt rubs blearily at his eyes and sits up against the pillows. “Have you only just got it?”

“I’ve only just thought about it,” Blaine says as he stretches. “I thought you had just gone slightly crazy, that’s all.”

“Well there you go.”

“What’s Chicago got to do with anything?” 

“Come on,” Kurt says striding confidently from the bed and avoiding Blaine’s grabby hands. “We need to pack.”

“Pack what? Why?”

“Happy Belated Birthday, Blaine.” Kissing him softly on the lips he continues, "We’re going away for a few days.”

“You have school.”

“So?” Kurt pauses in the act of pulling one of Blaine’s old t-shirts. “I’m skipping a few days,” he says with a shrug. 

“Oh no, no, no,” Blaine says as he scrambles to his feet. “No you can’t do that.”

“Why not?” 

“Because you’ll get caught.”

“In Chicago?”

“We’ll get in trouble. What if your dad...?”

“Blaine, it’s okay. I’ve been planning this ever since that day in your parent's yard. Finn, Rachel and Santana know- and they won’t say a word. Finn’s gonna cover for me at school, and dad will call my cell if he needs me anyway.”

“We can’t do this,” a panicked Blaine tells him. “I’ve never skipped school.”

“Neither have I, but it’s not you that’s skipping. We’ll be home Wednesday night, I’ll be back in school Thursday.”

“Your dad will kill me,” he whispers. 

“He won’t.” Kurt wraps his arms beguilingly around his waist. “Live a little, Blaine. Come on. It’s good to let go every once in awhile. To do something...naughty.”

“If you’re trying to seduce me it’s not working,” he grouches. “Firstly I’m exhausted- the amount of orgasms I’ve had in the last three days has been equal to a lifetime, and secondly.... I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“But you’re not skipping school!” Kurt cries in exasperation as he breaks away to sit on the bed. 

“I don’t mean that. I mean...like a vacation. With a boyfriend. Alone."

“Never?” Kurt asks in surprise.

“No.”

“Oh.”

“Why would you want to do this for me?”

“I told you I’d make it up to you...and I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to do it. I love you Blaine, and I can’t undo the past, but I can try and make amends.”

"You don't need to," he says quietly as he stands with his hands in his pockets. 

"Please. Just....let me." 

"Fuck it," he laughs as he tackles Kurt back onto the bed. "Yes."

"Yes?" 

"Yes. Let's go. I'm sorry if I didn't seem thrilled before its just..."

"You're a nerd, and you're elderly," Kurt finishes for him.

"You'll pay for that," Blaine laughs before kissing him hard. 

They set off right after breakfast, Blaine offers to drive, knowing Kurt hasn't driven in a city before- an offer which Kurt finds touchingly sweet. Once on the highway conversation turns to regionals- to be held in Columbus after Christmas. 

"Will you come?" Kurt asks.

"It's up to you," Blaine answers carefully. "I don't want you to feel like I'm dragging you down, and I know people will be wondering what you're doing with me..."

"Blaine?"

"Yes?"

"I don't care what people think. I'd like you to come."

"Oh. Then I will," he answers in what he hopes is a casual voice though in reality his insides are doing cartwheels of happiness. 

"Schue offered me a solo for sectionals," Kurt says quietly.

"I know. Santana told me. I figured you'd mention it when you were ready," Blaine replies with a squeeze of his hand and a kind smile.

"I turned him down.... I wasn't ready. But I keep thinking about what you said...months ago when we went to that diner for breakfast- about me needing to do more solo work."

"And?" 

"And I'm gonna tell him I want to do a solo for regionals," he says decisively. 

"You sure?"

"Yes. I'm hoping you would help me practice...."

"You know I would," Blaine says proudly. "I'd be honored."

"I think...I think I deserve good stuff, and I have to work to make that happen. NYADA aren't gonna give me an audition if I can't prove my worth with my previous achievements." 

"You still have your heart set on going there?" 

"I do," he confirms with a nod. "I still think it will be the best place for me. What do you think?"

Swallowing down the panic and fear which are welling up inside him, Blaine takes his hand as he focuses on the road. "I think....I think this isn't about me," he smiles. "College is your adventure to have, and you should apply wherever you want, to study whatever you want. No matter what, I'll always be here." 

Satisfied, Kurt kisses his fingertips and settles back in his seat, content to leave Blaine's hand entwined with his as he hums along with the radio.

"Do you think we'll live together someday?"

Blaine laughs and glances across at him, squeezing his hand tight. "Well given that I don't really want to be with anyone else....yes. I would hope so."

"I'd like that," Kurt says, gazing out of the window. "In your house? Or somewhere different?"

"I don't know," Blaine muses. "See where life takes us I guess."

"I like your house."

"I'm glad," Blaine says with a smile. "But it's the people who live somewhere that make it a home. The building doesn't matter."

"I like the thought of traveling."

"We could do that."

"And then buying a house together."

Blaine offers a grin, which sends sparks shooting through Kurt like he's never known. The very idea of planning a future together is more than he could ever have hoped for- and he finds himself loving every second of their conversation.

"I'd like living with you," he continues. "Putting the sex and everything aside, you are absolutely my favorite person to spend time with." 

This time Blaine's smile spreads wide over his face, and Kurt grins back as he notices Blaine's whole body ripple with pleasure at his words. 

"I think that is the sweetest thing anybody has ever said to me," Blaine chokes out. "And these tears are happy ones I can assure you," he says, gesturing to his watery eyes. "I love you so much. And you are absolutely my favorite person too." Trying to keep his eyes on the road he leans across and manages to drop a quick kiss to the corner of Kurt's mouth. "We have good fun together. I remember Wes telling me he was envious of our never ending dates, because our relationship was given a chance to evolve naturally. And he's right. We became friends before we became lovers."

"Even though I never wanted to be your friend," Kurt points out with a shy glance at him.

"You were just playing hard to get," Blaine winks.

"Me? It was you who put me through months of 'I like you but I can't date you.'" Laughing, they both let their eyes fall back to the road for a while, happy and content. 

"If we live together can we get a cat?" Kurt asks.

"Only if we can call it Martin."

"Martin? What kind of cat name is that?" 

"A cool one." 

"Well if you want to take your midlife crisis out on a cat, far be it from me to stop you," Kurt teases. 

"Martin is hurt."

"Martin probably isn't born yet," Kurt laughs. "Getting a cat is gonna be quite a way off if we're talking of getting me through college and then going traveling together." 

"True." 

They lapse into silence once more but Blaine can tell Kurt is thinking, and working up the courage to say something. He tries to hide his smirk as he watches him from the corner of his eye. Opening his mouth several times, Kurt loses his nerve at the last minute and settles back in the seat instead, and Blaine focuses on the road once more. 

"Have you ever used toys during sex?" he suddenly blurts, and Blaine swerves alarmingly as he laughs in disbelief. 

"What?" he cries. "Oh my God Kurt! How did we go from talking about cats to this?"

"I just wondered," he says casually. 

"I uh...I..." Blaine splutters, face reddening. 

"Are you embarrassed?"

"No..." he lies, and Kurt laughs. "Just trying to work out when we switched roles and you became the sex expert." 

"When you fucked me over the piano and I got to ride you," he replies bluntly. 

"Oh my god." 

"So answer my question. Have you ever used toys?"

"Um...I've used scarves and stuff....blindfolds, handcuffs but nothing....more."

"Dildos?"

"No." 

"Would you like to?" 

"I don't know," Blaine says with a shrug, face cooling down as the conversation becomes strangely easy to have. "I've never really thought about it. You?" 

"Um...well seeing as how I've only had you inside me three times, I'm good for now," Kurt smiles. "But the other day...when I was about to suck you off...."

"Is this before Rachel walked in?" 

"Yes," he snaps, briefly reminded of the unpleasant encounter. "Anyway. Before....that, I was thinking how pretty you would look if I sucked you off while you had a dildo inside you, that's all." 

"Fuck." 

"I don't mean right now," Kurt continues blithely, "it's just something I'd like to try one day, if you were up for it." 

"I'm up for a lot of things," Blaine says as their fingers entwine tightly together. "But I think we have a long way to go before we're at that stage. There's no rush," he says calmly. 

"I wanna feel you inside me again," Kurt says, voice dropping low as he releases Blaine's hand to trail his fingers over his thigh. "When you were coming it just....it's the hottest thing I have ever experienced." His fingers tighten their grip as he notices Blaine swallow hard. "Tell me how you want me."

Blaine lets out a low whistle as he narrowly avoids a truck, then places Kurt's hand firmly back in his lap. "Alive, preferably. I'll ravish you all you want when we get to the hotel but I really don't want to have to explain to your dad why we were involved in a multi car collision, or what we were doing on I-75 in the first place." 

"You'll ravish me?" Kurt asks, eyes raking over Blaine's body. 

"I will." 

 

“Kurt this is amazing!” Blaine cries as they enter their room, and Kurt has to agree. He had begged, pleaded and cajoled the clerk when booking, and in the end she had taken pity on him and given them a room with the best views of Chicago. Walking over to the large windows, Blaine almost bounces with delight as he points various landmarks out to Kurt. 

“....And there’s the Ferris wheel at Navy Pier,” he babbles on. “Can we go Kurt?” he asks, turning to him, eyes shining with excitement. “Please? I’ve always wanted to but I’ve never had anyone to go with.”

“You sound like you’re six,” Kurt says affectionately. “Of course we can go. Today if you want. You’ve really never been on it?”

“Nope. I’m always working when I come here. I usually see the hotel and the studio. That’s about it. Sometimes I eat my lunch outside.”

“Aw,” Kurt says as he plays with his hair. “Poor Blaine. Well this trip is all about doing what you want to do,” he smiles. “Although I do have a few things arranged.”

“I’m excited,” Blaine says as if surprised. 

“Good!” Kurt laughs as he rests against his side, arm wrapped around his waist. 

“Thank you,” Blaine says sincerely. “I’m sorry I got a bit anxious about it,” he continues. “It wasn’t because I was trying to be the responsible adult or anything it’s just.... I’ve always tried to be a good boy. It never even occurred to me to cut class or anything...”

“But?”

“But sneaking away....it feels fucking fantastic,” he laughs, making Kurt laugh too. 

“See? I told you. It’s good to let go every now and then. And we can never tell anyone about this...apart from those three that know we’re here. So every memory made is ours, and no one elses.”

“How have you paid for all this though?” Blaine asks, brow creasing in worry. “I mean, this hotel can't be cheap.” 

“I saved the money I earned working in the garage over the summer,” he says shyly. “I was always saving for your birthday anyway, though I didn’t know what gift to get you. And I might have used a little of my college fund too,” he adds quietly. 

“Kurt...."

“I wanted to, okay? I love you with all my heart Blaine, but sometimes I just want the chance to give back a little of what you give me.”

“You do though,” he reassures, smoothing his hands over Kurt’s arms. “You give me unwavering love and support. You make me feel safe, secure, wanted and loved. I couldn’t ask for anything more.” 

“Thank you,” Kurt says with a tender kiss to his cheek. “But please, just let me do this for you. Let me celebrate you being you, because you deserve it.”

“Can I buy dinner?”

“Absolutely not,” Kurt says with a smile. “But you can pay for the ferris wheel.”

“I’m not gonna win, am I?”

“Never,” he says with a firm kiss to his lips. “Now, I believe a promise was made? Something about ravishing?”

“Hmm.” Closing his eyes, Blaine nuzzles in under Kurt’s jaw, placing a soft kiss as he slides his arms round his waist. “Gladly.” 

Taking full advantage of the enormous bed, Blaine lies Kurt down carefully and slowly begins to tease- trailing soft kisses over his face, along his jaw and down his neck, pulling away when Kurt tries to seek out his lips. Running his tongue over his throat, Blaine is caught off guard when Kurt flips them, landing on his back with a gasp before Kurt’s mouth is upon his, tongue delving into Blaine’s mouth as his fingers tangle frantically into Kurt’s hair. The kiss is deep, hard and long- Kurt pulling away breathless and smiling down at him. 

“That’s how you ravish,” he grins wickedly.

Blaine runs his hands over Kurt’s arms, still breathless and exhilarated as his lips tingle for more. “You’re getting bigger,” he comments. 

“Not yet Blaine, we’ve only just started.”

“Broader, I mean. Stronger. Manly.”

Kurt looks down the length of their bodies, groins pressed tight together then parting to where Kurt holds himself up on his arms. “I guess,” he shrugs- embarrassed as ever when discussing his physical attributes. “Why? You like that?”

“Oh I like,” Blaine says, licking his lips. “I really like. Gives me all sorts of ideas.”

“Such as?”

“You pinning me down, fucking me hard, or holding me up against a wall....”

“Oh my god, Blaine,” Kurt whispers, eyes turning darker as he pushes his growing erection against Blaine’s. 

“Bending me over, holding my arms above my head and just....taking.”

“Yes, yes...” 

“Can we go to the ferris wheel now?”

“Blaine!” He collapses on top of him, laughing into the soft warmth of his neck before pulling back to kiss him lightly. “You’re an unbelievable tease.”

“Ah, but think how much better it’ll be tonight,” Blaine whispers into his ear, enjoying the way Kurt shivers. 

“You’re gonna tease me all day, aren’t you?”

“That’s pretty much the idea, yes.”

“I thought you said you were a good boy?”

“I am,” Blaine smiles smugly. “It’s just you make me naughty.”

“Naughty boys have to be punished,” Kurt says darkly, and Blaine nearly falls apart there and then at the tone of his voice. 

“I was hoping you’d say that,” he whispers desperately. 

“Later.”

“Now who’s a tease?” Blaine cries as Kurt climbs from the bed. Rolling onto his stomach, he eyes Kurt despondently as he moves about the room, uses the bathroom and then returns to pick up his bag. 

“Ready to go?” he asks sweetly, holding out his hand. 

“Don’t wanna ride the ferris wheel,” Blaine grumbles as he fixes his hair in the mirror. “Wanna ride you instead.”

“I’m sure that can be arranged,” Kurt laughs. 

“Later,” they add together.


	28. Chapter 28

"Why did you want to come on if you're so scared of heights?" Kurt asks, trying to suppress a laugh as Blaine hides deeper into his neck. 

"Because I thought I would be brave," Blaine moans. "But it's really windy up here."

"It's the Windy City," Kurt says, and this time he can't help but laugh at his boyfriend in all his frightened adorableness. 

"I wanna get off."

"You can't. We're not even at the top yet."

"What?" His desperate shriek only causes Kurt to laugh harder as he pulls him tighter against his side. 

"Open your eyes."

"No!"

"Go on. The view is incredible."

"No."

"Blaine. Open your eyes." 

He does so reluctantly, but there is nothing to see but piercing deep blue as Kurt's eyes lock on his before he kisses him slowly, feeling Blaine calm beneath his touch. 

"Hmm." Kurt sees Blaine's smile in his eyes as they turn from amber to gold and the familiar creases appear at the corners. "You're right," Blaine continues. "The view is incredible." 

"Look over there," Kurt says, turning to point out a boat on Lake Michigan.

"Kurt! Don't move!" Blaine yells, burying his face in the back of his coat. "I was okay when I was looking at you."

"Sorry, sorry!"

"And stop laughing." 

"I can't help it," Kurt says, laughing harder and wiping at his streaming eyes. "You're just too funny. When we go traveling you have to promise me we can do the Eiffel Tower." 

"So you can laugh at my hopelessness?" Blaine mutters into Kurt's collar.

"Yes." 

"I'm gonna sneeze on your brand new mid-length cashmere trench coat in pale gray melange," Blaine teases. 

"Don't you dare, or I'll let go of you."

"Sorry. No sneezing," Blaine says offering a weak smile. "Phew. We're down."

"We're going round again though," Kurt says happily. 

"What? No. You're kidding me, right?" 

"It's a Ferris wheel Blaine." 

"Kill me now."

"But then you'd miss all the other fun stuff."

"I don't care." 

"And you would never know what it's like to feel me inside you," Kurt murmurs into his hair. He wraps his arms around him again, nudging at his face with his nose until Blaine lifts his head, eyes screwed tightly shut, and allows himself to be kissed deeply. Once again Kurt feels the moment Blaine relaxes, mainly because the death grip he has on Kurt's arm loosens and he runs his fingers into his hair instead. 

"I really wanna feel that," he mutters against Kurt's lips. 

"Will you open your eyes?" 

"When I feel the ground beneath my feet," he says. 

"Okay." So Kurt kisses him again, and keeps kissing him until the ride slows to a halt and he jumps from the carriage to offer his hand to Blaine. "Come on. It's stopped." 

"I can't," he whispers. 

"You can," Kurt encourages. "You can open your eyes now."

"No....I can't," Blaine says through gritted teeth, opening his eyes to meet the confused stare of the attendant. "I really can't." 

"Sir, I need you to step from the carriage. It's either that or you go around again in order to let everyone else off." 

"Oh God no!" Blaine cries as he runs red faced into Kurt's arms, who chuckles and kisses him softly. 

"Frozen by fear a little there?" 

"No..." Tugging him closer by the lapels of his coat he kisses his lips quickly. "I had other problems." He pushes himself tight against Kurt, whose eyes go wide as he feels Blaine's hardness. 

"Oh. Sorry. I was trying to distract you."

"It worked." 

"Um.... Carousel?" Kurt asks in a high pitched voice. 

"Sure." 

They take three turns on the carousel, during which they behave like lovesick fools- holding hands despite their horses rising and falling at different times, leaning in for sweet stolen kisses which leave a group of teenage girls squealing with delight and just touching as much as they can. Hand in hand they exit the carousel and Kurt nods toward the swing ride. 

"Wanna try?"

"Um..." Blaine gulps. "How high is it?"

"Oh I don't know," Kurt says nonchalantly, "forty feet or so." 

"C-can we not? It looks worse than the wheel."

"Blaine it looks petrifying. I was joking. There's no way in hell I'm going on that," he smiles and kisses his forehead. "We could play miniature golf instead though."

"Yes! Let's do that!"  
*  
"I think I love you more than ever, if that was possible," Kurt says against Blaine's cheek as they stumble back into the hotel room. 

"Even though I kicked your ass at miniature golf?" 

"Even though." 

Turning, Blaine catches him by his coat again and pulls him close, instantly nuzzling into his neck. "You are so hot in this jacket, you have no idea." Breathing Kurt's scent deeply he runs his tongue over the hickey he had left the previous night, enjoying the whimper Kurt makes at the feeling. "Plus it keeps your neck warm which means I can hide my face in here when the wind gets cold." 

"There's no wind in here though," Kurt gasps out as he feels teeth against the delicate skin.

"I know, but I've been waiting to do this all day." 

"W-we have dinner reservations..." 

"We have time." 

Moving his hands to the buttons, he laughs when Kurt bats his hands away and does it himself, hanging the coat carefully before returning to his embrace once more. 

"Blaine, I really want to get naked with you....but I also really don't want to miss these reservations."

"That's okay," Blaine says lightly, though his hands still work their way up and under Kurt's layers to seek out his soft skin. "We can wait. An exercise in self control. Plus everything we've done so far has been completely perfect. Why would I wanna miss dinner?" 

"I'm just conscious that we won't have all this next week," Kurt says sadly. "It'll be back to dates and hurried hand jobs with one foot wedged against my bedroom door."

“I know...but I kinda like that about us. It makes the time we do get alone even more special. And you know one day all we’ll have to worry about is Martin interrupting us.”

“Hmm,” Kurt says as he walks towards the bathroom. “Maybe a cat isn't such a good idea then.”

“Where are you going?”

“To shower, ready for dinner,” he calls. “Have you seen the shower? It’s huge!” 

“Room for me?” Blaine asks hopefully. 

“Of course.”

He’s naked in seconds, and sprinting into the bathroom before diving under the shower spray and pinning Kurt to the wall where he kisses him roughly, hands roaming over any part of skin they can reach. 

“Blaine...” Kurt tries to sound commanding but really, when your boyfriend is rubbing his dick against yours and thumbing over your nipples at the same time, what are you supposed to do? 

“Please...” Blaine begs brokenly. “Please. I just need to touch, to taste.”

“But tonight...”

“Will be so much better because we’ll be able to last,” he tries and Kurt sighs with longing. 

“No,” he says with a bit more authority. “I want us to wait. I love the teasing, the flirtation, the hand holding.”

“I can still do all that.”

“Please Blaine.”

“Okay,” he agrees- though somewhat reluctantly. “Would you be entirely adverse to a hot makeout session though?”

“Not at all.”  
*  
“Come on, Kurt!” Blaine calls as he bounces impatiently on the side of the bed. “What’s taking so long?”

“My lips look like I’m wearing the deepest rouge lipstick,” comes the moan from behind the locked door. 

“So? Mine look like I’ve been stung by bees. Just come on already. I’m starving.”

“You were horny five minutes ago.”

“I still am. But the.......Holy shit.” The door unlocks and Kurt appears- hair coiffed high on his head and dressed in an immaculate navy suit with dark red cravat. 

Blaine stands- himself wearing a light gray suit and dark tie- and walks over to the bathroom door where he takes his hands in his. “You are so breathtakingly beautiful,” he whispers with shining eyes. “Wow. Just..... Wow.”

“Thank you,” Kurt mutters as he blushes the sweetest shade of pink. “You look very dapper yourself. Quite the distinguished gentleman.” 

“What did I ever do to deserve someone as amazing as you?” Blaine marvels as he traces a finger delicately along Kurt’s jaw. “I feel so lucky to be your date tonight.”

“Tonight and every night I hope,” he teases lightly. 

“Always.”

“I love you Blaine.” 

“I love you too Kurt.”

“Shall we?” Offering his arm, Kurt’s eyes meet Blaine’s as he gives him a dazzling smile and together, they head out to dinner. 

They eat at Rivera- a seafood restaurant on the edge of Lake Michigan where they share Lobster and champagne- though Kurt only manages one glass before declaring it makes him too dizzy. 

“I don’t think alcohol is my thing,” he says with an apologetic grin at Blaine. 

“Probably a good thing,” he smiles back adoringly as he rests his chin in his upturned palm. “You might change your mind when you get to college though.”

“I don’t think so,” Kurt replies. “I don’t think you’ll like it if I....”

“What?” Blaine asks, a brief moment of unease making itself known in the pit of his stomach. 

“Nevermind.” Kurt shakes his head resolutely then carries on brightly. “You don’t drink as much as you used to.”

“Nope. Again, probably a good thing. My grandfather was an alcoholic.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah. Mom’s dad. She doesn’t drink at all because of it, and Cooper and Dad don’t drink a lot. I think I inherited his ability to use alcohol for comfort. When I get depressed I drink. Especially when Luke died.”

“And now?”

“And now I have you,” he beams. “And your arms are the best source of comfort there is.” 

“And cheesecake,” Kurt says as he scans the dessert menu. 

“Cheesecake of course,” Blaine smiles. “I’d be hard pushed to choose between the two.” 

They take their time to walk back to the hotel- despite the cold breeze that tells both winter is on the way. Hand in hand, bundled up in scarves and coats they pause on a bench to gaze out across the water as Kurt rests his head on Blaine’s shoulder. 

“In the restaurant, when I said about not drinking in college...”

“Yeah, what were you going to say?” Blaine asks- the panic and unease returning. 

“I was going to say you wouldn’t like it if I came home drunk at four in the morning.”

“Because you’d drunk dial me? I’d forgive you.”

“No...because I was kinda hoping you would be there too.”

A silence ensues during which Blaine lets out a long sigh as he watches the lights of the city dance across the water. He can feel Kurt’s eyes upon him, looking up from his resting place and waiting until eventually he speaks. 

“You know, Kurt.... College is a long way off for you. You’re still a junior. I....I suggest that for now....we put this conversation aside and come back to it another time.”

“So... No.”

“It’s not a no...” Blaine counters as he sits him upright and looks him in the eye. “You know I dream of our future together. We discussed this earlier. Please don’t worry Kurt. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.” 

Satisfied, Kurt allows himself to be kissed and held tight to Blaine’s side as they wander back to the hotel where Blaine tries to unbutton Kurt’s coat only to have his hands playfully smacked out of the way again. 

“Don’t touch the coat Anderson,” Kurt says haughtily. 

“Can I touch you instead?” he grins. 

“Yes you can." 

"Finally," he sighs as his hands immediately losen the knot on Kurt's cravat. "You look so damn good in this suit but..."

"I'll look better out of it....right?"

"Am I that predictable?" 

"Yes." 

Laughing softly Blaine captures his mouth in a kiss, gentle at first but he soon inclines his head as Kurt's mouth opens wider under his touch, their tongues meeting as Kurt's shirt falls to the floor. Blaine makes light work of his pants too, leaving Kurt in a ridiculously tight pair of boxer briefs which emphasise the outline of his hardening cock. 

"I'm sensing an imbalance," Kurt says, eyes raking over Blaine who is still fully clothed, right down to his shoes. 

"You're funny."

"Blaine." Kurt stands, one hand on his hip and staring him down. "When your boyfriend stands in front of you and he is nearly naked, it is neither the time nor the place to call him funny." 

Blaine just laughs louder.

"Well if you want me to match you'd better get me undressed," he taunts, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Shoes first." 

"Do you want me?" he asks as he kneels at Blaine's feet and removes his shoes and socks. 

"You know I do," he answers- voice already growling low with desire as Kurt's fingers trail over his ankles. 

"I mean do you really want me?"

Kurt stands between his legs, looking down at him as he slips the tie from around his neck and lets it fall to the floor. 

"Fuck yes."

Agonizingly slowly, Kurt removes his underwear, revealing his hard, throbbing cock inch by inch as Blaine's eyes go wide with longing.

"Do you want to feel me inside you?"

Blaine's shirt is pushed aside as nimble fingers run along his collarbone, down his sternum and then back up to circle his nipples lightly. 

"Yes," comes the whispered response. "More than anything." 

Kurt nudges him back onto the bed with his body, unbuckling his pants and pulling them off quickly along with his underwear before he kisses along his thighs. He stops suddenly, looking down at the soft, delicate skin of his inner thigh where it meets his groin. Bending, Kurt nuzzles his face there for awhile- content to breathe the scent of Blaine, to run his tongue over the skin, into the crease and listen happily to the soft whimpers Blaine is making as his cock fills. Without warning, Kurt bites. 

"Fucking....... Fuck!" Blaine yells, fingers flying into Kurt's hair in surprise. "Oh fuck that's good," he then sighs, as Kurt worries the skin between his teeth, biting, sucking and pulling until he's satisfied with the dark purple mark he's created. 

Resolutely ignoring his cock, Kurt drops sweet butterfly kisses over Blaine's stomach, smiling against the skin as muscles dance beneath his lips. 

"Do it again..." Blaine moans. "Mark me again." 

Kurt looks up, eyes dark, and smirks before he bites along his treasure line, leaving a long trail of marks which leaves Blaine a trembling wreck as he writhes on the bed. 

"Fuck, Kurt. Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"So eloquent and charming," he quips as he slides along the length of his body. He creates marks everywhere. Stomach, chest, neck and shoulders, nowhere is forgotten as Kurt sucks, bites, takes and tastes until Blaine finally seizes him by the hair and crashes their lips together, forcing his tongue straight into Kurt's mouth who receives it eagerly. 

"Take me," Blaine manages to get out between heated kisses. "Just take me." 

Hovering over him, Kurt swallows nervously and nods. "Okay. I'm a bit....nervous."

"Don't be," Blaine reassures. "You're amazing and I am telling you, all I want right now is you; filling me up and making me scream your name. I love you. Make me scream and beg for more, Kurt. I know you can do it." 

"Oh god that's.....that's really hot." 

Nerves vanish in favor of arousal as he takes the lube from Blaine's outstretched hand and drizzles it into his palm. He runs his hand experimentally over Blaine's perineum then frowns slightly. 

"Could you....could you um....maybe...like....kneel? It's just then I can sorta see what I'm doing." 

"Baby I will do whatever you want me to do," Blaine growls as he kisses him before eagerly falling onto all fours. "Want me spread out for you huh?"

"Yeah," Kurt breathes as his fingers dance over Blaine's tight hole. "Yeah I do." 

"Wanna see your fingers fucking into me?"

"Shit....yes."

"Do it Kurt." 

"Oh god." Breathing deeply, Kurt pushes one trembling finger inside and is rewarded with quite the most filthy sound he's ever heard Blaine make. 

"Holy fuck!" he cries as he raises his head before dropping back onto the bed. "Fuck....fuck. Okay. Hold it Kurt. Just....just...wait a second." 

"Did I do something wrong?" he asks, panicked. 

"No...no not at all." Reaching back, he finds Kurt's free hand and squeezes it. "I'm just trying really hard not to come right now." 

"Oh." He waits, one finger buried inside Blaine's heat until he feels him relax and sees a small, imperceptible nod. He pulls his finger nearly all the way out, marvelling at the drag of Blaine's walls around him, and then pushes back inside. Blaine is a mess, babbling incoherently as Kurt stretches him open and he pushes back, trying to fuck himself onto Kurt's hand as hard as he can. "Can you tell me....when you're ready?" 

Blaine's breathing is labored, his hands fisting the pillows and head bowed as he fights the overwhelming impulse to grab his cock and finish himself there and then. He doesn't hear Kurt at first- too overwhelmed with pleasure and just...Kurt, prompting him to ask again and biting into his ass for good measure. 

"Ah!" he cries, suddenly becoming acutely aware of Kurt's nails scraping down his back as his other hand stretches him wider. "Please don't bite my ass Kurt..... please. I mean do......please do.....but not right now. I want you inside me and there's no way I'll last if...."

"You want me now?"

"Yes," he moans. "Yes Kurt...oh god yes."

Heat. 

Tight.

Perfect.

Those are the three words which run across Kurt's mind as he pushes into Blaine for the first time. He goes slowly, overwhelmed at how tight he actually does feel around his cock, but eventually he comes to rest, balls pushed hard against the delicious curve of Blaine's ass as he bends to kiss the base of his spine. 

"You okay back there?" Blaine asks over his shoulder. 

"It feels like.... It feels like I'm coming home," is the best he can come up with but Blaine understands and beams. 

"I really want to kiss you right now." 

"Me too," Kurt smiles. "Do you think....maybe....do you think you could lie on your back?"

"Sure." 

Pulling out, Kurt waits for Blaine to turn before settling between his legs where he leans and kisses him tenderly. 

"Better," Blaine grins.

"Totally. And now I get to push inside you again." 

"Hmmm." Blaine's smile is radiant and Kurt thinks he's never seen him looking more beautiful as he enters him once more. Head thrown back, mouth parted slightly, glorious throat and delectable neck exposed, Blaine moans softly as Kurt watches another curl break free from its gel and Blaine becomes more and more dishevelled. His eyes shine as Kurt moves slowly, getting used to the feel of being inside him and wondering if there is anything in the world to better it. His thrusts are shallow, which helps Blaine immensely as he feels the urgency of his situation lessen slightly and he gets to study Kurt's exquisite face. 

Brow furrowed into concentration, a flush spreads over Kurt's neck and cheeks as he begins to drive deeper and harder, until he opens his eyes and meets Blaine's gaze. 

"You're staring at me," he pants. 

"Can't help it. You're beautiful."

"My arms are all wobbly." A small, almost shy laugh bubbles from his lips as he stops his movement for a second. 

"Put my legs on your shoulders," Blaine suggests. "Then you can kneel." 

The second he rearranges himself, Kurt feels better and moves quickly. "Shit Blaine....oh yeah....yes."

Blaine cries out loudly when he feels Kurt grazing over his prostate, bucking up off the bed as Kurt pushes his legs even closer to his face and fucks him hard. 

"Feels too good...." Kurt moans, but Blaine is unable to answer as he wraps a hand around himself. Two strokes is all it takes before he spills all over his stomach, breathing hard and falling back against the pillows with a groan. 

Kurt watches him as his climax hits, eyes screwed tightly shut as his whole body convulses. He stares as the come shoots from his dick, then dribbles down between his fingers where it pools on his skin. Falling forward, he drives himself deeper than ever as he manages somehow to catch Blaine's lips, then runs his tongue into his mouth as he comes with a deep moan, cock pulsing until he collapses in a spent heap and Blaine's legs fall onto the bed. 

"I feel about a hundred," Blaine groans as his arms circle Kurt's waist. 

"You are about a hundred," comes the muffled response to which Blaine laughs. "But I love you nonetheless." 

"Was it okay?"

"Seriously?" Kurt pulls back slightly to look into his eyes. "I'm a half dead wreck and you're asking if it was okay? It was fantastic." 

"You like being on top?"

"There are benefits to both...." he muses, "but making you fall apart feels incredible. Only now I've gotta pull out and I really don't want to." 

"Ah, but then you get to push back in," Blaine grins. "Not right now," he adds hurriedly. 

"Not a hope," Kurt laughs. 

They clean up quickly, too tired to bother with showers as they crawl under the covers and Blaine rests his head in the now familiar spot on Kurt's chest and kisses the fingers of his hand which rests lightly on Blaine's cheek. 

"Today has been perfect," he whispers, watching as Kurt smiles with his eyes closed. "Thank you." 

"Anything for you," Kurt murmurs before falling into a deep sleep.


	29. Chapter 29

"You look very pleased with yourself," a groggy Blaine notes as he cracks one eye open. Kurt lies next to him, propped on one elbow with a delirious grin on his face as he leans down for a soft kiss. 

"I still can't believe last night happened," he says with a small laugh in his voice. 

"My butt can," Blaine answers, voice filled with sleep. "C'mere." Pulling Kurt on top of him, he kisses into his hair as Kurt snuggles into his neck. 

"Oh come on," Kurt says lightly. "I'm well aware of my inexperience. It's not like I pounded you into the mattress." 

"I bet you could though," Blaine muses as he runs his fingers lightly up and down Kurt's back. "I'll bet you turn out to be really filthy."

A shocked laugh escapes Kurt as he emerges from his hiding place to look down at Blaine with flaming cheeks. "I can't believe you just said that!" 

"You're an enigma, Kurt Hummel. Just another thing I love about you. Yesterday you almost made me crash the damn car because you said- and I quote- that I would look pretty with a dildo in my ass. Then you strip me, tease me mercilessly, bite me, mark me, give me the best damn sex of my life and today you're shocked when I suggest you might have hidden depths. You play the young ingenue so well." He tucks a stray lock of hair back into place as Kurt blinks like a small deer in the headlights. 

"Do you mean that?"

"What?"

"That I...um...best sex...." Trailing off uselessly he blushes once more and bites his lip fearfully- worried Blaine has made an offhand comment, but he is quick to reassure. 

"Of course. No, you didn't pound me into the mattress. You loved me. You worshiped my body and made me feel like nothing else existed in that moment but you and I. It's been a long, long time since I've been trusting enough to let anyone make love to me like that."

"Why?" Kurt interrupts out of curiosity. 

"Because.... It's like you said to me a while back- it's giving yourself to someone completely. You're open, exposed, vulnerable. Physically and emotionally. I like intimacy, but I don't give myself over to that very easily. I can with you. I can surrender to everything and just...be with you. Am I making any sense?" 

"You're making my heart burst with pride is what you're doing," Kurt answers. His blush fades to leave two pink spots high on his cheeks as he wriggles down to rest his chin on Blaine's chest. Content, they stare into one another's eyes, Blaine's fingers tracing along Kurt's spine continuously as he places a light kiss to the tip of his nose. 

"Our kid is gonna be beautiful," he muses, then his eyes fly wide. "Sorry! I'm so sorry. I know that's too much. I know."

"Blaine!" Kurt cuts him off sharply. "Stop it. We both know this is forever. You know I see it too. We discussed our future yesterday."

"I know, but you initiated it. And kids....that's a big thing."

"Blaine, never feel like you can't talk about things with me. I said before about a daughter....and yeah..." he trails off for a moment, eyes staring into the distance before he meets Blaine's gaze once more and thinks out loud. "It's all I want really. One day, anyway."

"What is?"

"You, me, a house, kids. I just worry that you won't want to wait."

"Kurt I've never wanted that with anyone else. I always hoped, but I never met anyone who I could actually see myself doing all that with. I do know that we're talking way ahead of ourselves here- years away. And I will wait for however long is necessary. Just knowing that we both want the same is enough."

"I want a little girl," Kurt says with a shy smile. "I always have. When I was very young I used to think I would have to marry a girl to have kids, and I always figured I would marry Lacy- this girl in my kindergarten class- because she had pretty hair and big brown eyes. Then we would have a little girl and Lacy would stay at home and bake cakes while I pushed the stroller with Thomas, whom I was also going to marry."

"I don't approve of bigamy," Blaine smiles. "And I don't care what we have as long as it has blue eyes, a gorgeous smile and an amazing voice. Basically a mini you."

"What if I want a mini you?"

"Then we have more," Blaine says with a grin. 

After breakfast they walk the short distance to The Art Institute where they spend the morning marvelling at the creativity on display, then walk hand in hand along the edge of Lake Michigan again before stopping for lunch. They are so blissfully content in one another's company that both startle when Kurt's phone rings. 

"Dad," he says to Blaine with a groan before answering. They knew it would happen of course, but both still panic as Kurt says a tentative hello. 

"Finn says you're sick," Burt cuts right to the chase.

"A little, yeah," Kurt lies, screwing his eyes shut tight and hating the way his voice trembles. "Um...stomach flu or something."

"Do you need me to come home?" Burt's voice is full of concern and that makes Kurt feel even worse if it's possible. 

"Uh..no. No it's fine. I'm at Blaine's. He's taking good care of me."

"Does he ever work? He claims to, but I've yet to see any evidence," he grumbles. 

"He works from home dad. You know this," Kurt sighs exasperatedly. 

"Are you outside?"

"I um.... Yeah. I just stepped out for some air. I'm getting better. I'll be back in school by Thursday." 

"Is Blaine there?"

"Yeah, he's right next to me," Kurt replies as he gives Blaine's hand a squeeze.

"Put him on."

"Dad...."

"Put him on. I just want to check you're okay."

"I told you I'm okay. You don't need to double check with Blaine." 

"It's okay," Blaine speaks up, guessing what the conversation is about. "I don't mind." Kurt waves a hand to quieten him, but Burt has already heard and so reluctantly Kurt hands the phone over. 

"Hey Burt."

"I told you no sleepovers."

"No...." Blaine replies smugly. "You told me I wasn't allowed to sleepover at your house. Kurt got sick and I took him to my place so I could care for him." 

There is a dumbfounded silence from the other end of the line and then Burt grumbles something Blaine can't quite catch followed by "I guess there's not a lot I can do except say thank you then. Though that hurts." 

"You're welcome," Blaine answers politely, suddenly feeling like the worlds biggest douche. "I do love him Burt."

"I know you do son. And I'm glad he's got you around. I know you made his birthday really special too." 

"Enjoy the rest of your honeymoon. Kurt and I will pick you up on Saturday."

They both say their goodbyes and Kurt hangs up, sitting down heavily on the nearest bench with tears in his eyes. "I feel bad."

"I know. But....while I don't necessarily condone lying, I think that you went out of your way to do something incredible for me, something we will never get again. There will be other trips, but this is our first, and you did what you had to do in order to achieve something perfect. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter. You're a teenager- you're expected to push boundaries and break rules. You skipped three days of school and lied about where you were. You haven't failed your SAT's, dropped out or gotten someone pregnant."

Kurt raises one eyebrow at him. "Is that what you've been telling yourself to justify it?"

"Pretty much," he offers an apologetic smile.

"Yeah, you're right," he sighs, patting Blaine's thigh before standing and offering his hand. "Wanna visit the aquarium?" 

"Sure."

"Or we could do the Ferris wheel again?" he asks, then shrieks as Blaine begins to chase him along the sidewalk. 

They return to the hotel in the late afternoon at Kurt’s insistence, who refuses to explain why but just ushers Blaine toward the bathroom with instructions to shower and change into his suit once more. The second Kurt is ready Blaine tries to undress him immediately, but Kurt is resolute and steadfast- ordering him back out the door and into a cab. 

“You made me wear a suit to get burgers?” Blaine asks once they’re sitting down in McDonalds. 

“No....” Fishing inside his jacket pocket he places two tickets face down on the table. “We needed to eat early. Happy Birthday.” 

“What? This trip was for my birthday.”

“And this is your actual gift,” Kurt clarifies. 

Blaine blinks twice at the tickets but when he opens his eyes again the writing is still the same. “Chicago Symphony Orchestra?” he says in quiet disbelief. “Kurt....This is too much.”

“I have another summer before college. I can work more at weekends too, if I want.”

“But....”

“I didn’t know if you liked Tchaikovsky,” Kurt rambles nervously. “But I know you like orchestra music and...”

He stops as Blaine leans across the table and kisses him fiercely, noting when he sits again that tears are swimming in his eyes. “Kurt...this is the best gift anyone has ever given me. It has been my dream to play with them since I was a little boy. I’ve only ever seen them once, when I was ten and my dad took me. But Tchaikovsky is my favorite composer. This is...Kurt this is magical for me. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, and I’m glad you like it. They’re not the best seats but....”

“We’re sitting together...right?”

“Of course.” 

“Then they’re the best seats.”

“Stop it,” a sleepy Kurt murmurs against Blaine’s chest that night.

“What?”

“You’re drumming the rhythm of that last piece we heard on my back.”

“Oh. Sorry. I can’t help it. It was amazing. Did you enjoy it?”

“Yes. The music was incredible, but the best thing for me was watching your face.”

“I wasn’t the only one who cried.”

“I know,” he smiles in the dark, “But it wasn’t just that. It was seing you so enraptured. It just... It just brought every reason for loving you into sharper focus.” 

“Best trip ever,” Blaine says kissing the top of his head. 

“Best trip ever,” Kurt agrees. 

Blaine wakes to find Kurt spooned around him, pressing his hard cock into the crack of his ass and he smiles sleepily. Kurt runs one hand up to his chest and rests it there as he pushes harder. “Do you remember when you did this to me?”

“I do,” he confirms. “We had clothes on though. From the waist down at least.”

“You jerked me off through my pajama pants.”

“My pajama pants,” Blaine corrects. “And it was hot as hell. I love jerking you off. And I love this,” he sighs happily as Kurt coats himself with lube and slides against him. 

“I feel like I could just slide right inside you,” he sighs hotly against Blaine’s ear. He nips at his earlobe then closes his eyes as Blaine twists his head around for a kiss. 

“Do it.” 

So he does. Blaine lifts his leg as Kurt stretches him, quickly but still nervous until Blaine reassures him that he won’t break and then as soon as he can, he slides his cock right inside, groaning at the feeling and the strange angle. No words are spoken as Blaine leans down and kisses the fingers of the hand splayed across his chest and slowly Kurt starts to move- more a gentle rocking than deep hard thrusts but it’s what both want and need as they moan quietly together. Gradually he picks up pace, allowing his hand to fall to Blaine's cock as he reaches back and clutches at Kurt's neck, whimpering in pleasure as kisses are trailed along his shoulder. Blaine comes first, trembling through his orgasm as Kurt continues to push into him until it becomes almost unbearable and then he comes, biting into Blaine's shoulder then rocking slowly as he comes down from his high. 

"And a very good morning to you," Kurt quips as a laugh resonates through Blaine. 

"Wanna know why I love you?"

"My huge dick?"

Blaine laughs again then turns over so he can kiss his lips tenderly. "That of course.... But you make me laugh. I've never laughed as much as I do with you." 

"As long as its with me and not at me," Kurt smiles, but then his face furrows into a frown. "I don't wanna go home. I love sleeping with you." 

"So don't," Blaine says lightly. "Come back to mine until your dad gets back. I know you'll have to be up super early for school but...."

"I won't be in your way?"

"Not at all. I want you there, I need you there. These past few days have been amazing. I'm not ready to let you go. If your dad asks we'll say it was just a precautionary measure in case you had a relapse." 

"He'll see right through it."

"Of course he will, but my bet is that he'll grumble and grouse then get over it."

"Okay," Kurt smiles broadly. "If you absolutely insist."


	30. Chapter 30

Fall turns into Winter, Cooper and his family fly in for Thanksgiving and he makes a point of telling Blaine how astounded he is at the strength of his and Kurt's relationship. School goes well for Kurt, Karofsky stays clear meaning the others do too, and his friendships with Rachel, Santana and Finn go from strength to strength. Blaine is buried in work for Kendall's advertising campaign, but still resolutely takes Kurt out on dates three times a week. Their clothes are on again, off again more times than Rachel and Finn themselves as they steal whatever precious few moments together that they can. By the time Christmas arrives, Burt gives in and tells Blaine he can stay with them for the holidays- though both are too fearful to do much more than frenzied blow jobs with Burt sleeping just across the hall. 

Blaine hosts another party on New Year's Eve, and if the happy couple disappear right after the ball drops....well no one seems to mind. "How has it been this long?" a drunk Blaine gasps as Kurt pins him against the wall and kisses him roughly. 

"I sucked you off yesterday," he points out before swigging from the bottle of champagne and grimacing at the taste. Really, he should have stopped after his second glass- especially seeing as he doesn't like the stuff anyway- but then Blaine had kissed him with his mouth full of bubbles and it suddenly seemed like a good idea to finish the bottle together.

"I know..." Pausing on the landing, he pushes Kurt into the wall and scrapes his teeth over his neck as one hand palms his growing hardness. "But I need to feel you." 

"Shit.....yes." Hooking one leg around Blaine's waist he laughs as his boyfriend stumbles slightly then groans as their cocks rub together. "Tell me. Tell me how you want it."

"I wanna ride you. I wanna feel you fucking into me and I want it hard."

"Oh my god!" Wes cries as he emerges from the bathroom. "TMI, Blaine! Kurt, take him to your room and lock the door."

For a second Blaine's eyes fly wide, then they both laugh hysterically and fall into the bedroom together where they get rid of their clothing as quickly as possible. "I'm gonna make you scream," Kurt says darkly before pushing him to his knees. "But first I'm gonna fuck your face." 

Blaine is helplessly, ridiculously turned on as he eagerly takes Kurt deep in his throat, humming appreciatively as his hair is tugged hard. "Here," Kurt slurs slightly, and Blaine opens his eyes to find lube being poured into his hand. "Keep your pretty little mouth open and finger yourself for me." Responding eagerly, Blaine grips Kurt's thigh tightly as he pushes one finger straight into his tight hole, tearing himself open and enjoying the way the drunkenness numbs the pain. Kurt waits until he's taking two fingers with ease before he pushes deep into his mouth- perhaps too deep if the immediate choking from Blaine is anything to go by. 

"Sorry!" he cries, then laughs uncontrollably while Blaine splutters. "Oh god I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," his voice tells a different story but he smiles valiantly and takes a large mouthful of champagne before sliding Kurt's cock between his lips. 

"Oh fuck!" Kurt screams. The sensation of champagne bubbles fizzing and popping around him as he drives in and out of Blaine's mouth is immense. He doesn't know what to do first, fuck Blaine's face harder, stare at the way his astoundingly sexy and debauched boyfriend is fucking himself on four fingers, or pull his hair. "Blaine.....you're too hot...hot...I'm....it's all bubbles. It's all just....bubbles."

Swallowing the champagne around him, Blaine pulls off and stares at him. "Come on my face," he moans out- perhaps slightly louder than he originally intended. "Jerk yourself off over me then lick it clean." 

In his haze, Kurt feels he should maybe be blushing, but in reality Blaine's instructions are hot as hell and as he tilts his face up and those golden eyes sparkle with want, he comes. It falls onto Blaine's eyelids and lips, and in an act of complete wantonness, he smears it over Blaine's face with his dick before falling to his knees, kissing and licking at him eagerly.

"Fuck...Kurt! Oh shit...just....shit...fuck..." Blaine grows increasingly louder as he continues to fuck himself on his own hand and Kurt reaches down to stroke his aching cock. "Yes...yes....gonna come baby. Wanna come down your throat." So Kurt sinks lower, swallowing every drop with now practiced ease before lying down on the hardwood floor where he is joined by a blissed out Blaine. 

"Keep yourself open for me," Kurt says wearily. 

"Wha'?"

"I wanna fuck you in a minute."

"A minute?"

"Yeah."

"I don't think I can do a minute."

"A minute and a half then."

"'Kay." Blaine sits, wincing slightly at the pain in his backside and decides the only way to cure this is more champagne. 

“Gimme some,” Kurt says with a tap to his leg. 

“Sit up then.” 

“Nah.”

“It’ll spill.”

“Not if you’re really careful,” he smiles wickedly. 

Taking another swig from the bottle, Blaine leans down and joins his mouth to Kurt’s, who swallows the champagne and makes Blaine laugh with another face. 

“Why are you drinking it if you don’t like it?” 

“I dunno. Makes me feel good. It’s all bubbles, fuzzy bubbles on my tongue,” Kurt rambles. Blaine turns to lie with his chin propped on Kurt’s chest as he studies him. 

“Are you drunk?”

“Have you only just noticed?”

“I’m drunk.” Blaine tells him proudly.

“I know. You told Rachel she should have sex with Finn and put him out of his misery.”

“Did I? Oh..... Well she should,” he says with a shrug. “Where are they now?”

“I dunno. Defiling your piano probably.”

“They’d better not,” Blaine cries in protest. “Only us can do that.”

“I don’t think that sentence was grammatically correct,” Kurt points out. 

“Have some more champagne.” 

“This bottle seems to have gone on forever.”

“It’s the second one.”

“Oh.” 

And suddenly this becomes the funniest thing ever as both laugh loudly, tears rolling down their faces as they lie on the floor and struggle to catch their breath. When the belly laughs subside to occasional sniggers, Kurt runs his fingers through Blaine’s hair. 

“Blaine baby?”

“Mmmm?”

“I wanna fuck you now.”

“Go for it.”

“You need to move.”

Kurt shuffles into a sitting position, back against the bed as he begins to stroke himself to hardness again. "C'mere, lemme see you stretch yourself again."

Blaine straddles his legs, facing away from him and puts on a show, moaning long and loud as he writhes on his hand until Kurt pulls him down by his hips where he sinks down easily around his cock. 

"Ooh. I've never done it this way around," he notes as he rocks slowly back and forth. "Look Kurt, we can still drink." Picking up the bottle, he passes it back to Kurt who tries to swig but misses and ends up pouring it over Blaine's shoulder and back instead where he then licks eagerly. 

"I'm drinking champagne and I'm fucking my boyfriend," Blaine sings cheerfully as he bounces up and down on Kurt's cock. 

"You're far too chipper for my liking," he grumbles affectionately. 

"How do you want me then?"

"Moaning like a whore and begging for me to go harder, deeper." 

"Go harder then, and I'll tell you if I like it."

A wild jerk of Kurt's hips causes Blaine to fall forward slightly so Kurt sits straighter and pulls him back against his chest as he fucks him hard. And Blaine does moan and beg for more, meeting every one of Kurt's thrusts as his whole body trembles with longing and the champagne stands on the nightstand long forgotten. 

"Take it Blaine," Kurt pants, his breathing ragged and hard from the exertion. "You look so pretty with my cock in your ass."

"Yes...yes...talk to me, Kurt. Gimme more." 

"I wanna fuck your gorgeous ass so hard you won't sit for a week," he gets out between gritted teeth. "Your dick is perfect, baby. Really fucking perfect." Taking Blaine in his hand he strokes wildy, erratically but Blaine doesn't seem to care as he throws his head back onto Kurt's shoulder and rolls in pleasure. "You like that? Huh? You like me jerking you while I fuck into you? You like it hard?"

"Yeah....yes....yes,"

"Are you a slut for my cock Blaine?"

"Oh fuck, Kurt, yes!" Blaine cries now almost delusional with the pleasure coursing through him. "Your slut...just for you. All for you. Made for your cock an' no one else's."

"Come for me then, my little cock slut. Come all over me while I fill your ass." 

"Fuck!" Blaine yells as he comes over Kurt's fist. "Kurt, Kurt, Kurt...... Oh fuck!" Kurt's cries mingle with his own as he comes so hard he sees spots before his eyes and then slumps hard against Blaine's back who has fallen forward, holding himself up on Kurt's knees as he tries to regain control of his breathing. 

"See, I told you," Blaine says proudly as he turns for a lazy kiss, "Hidden depths."

Everything in Kurt aches when he wakes the next morning. His chest feels heavy and he cracks one eye open to see he is still on the floor, Blaine slumped on top of him, back pressed against his chest. Kurt has a vague recollection of sliding out of him, Blaine falling backwards into his arms- and clearly they haven’t moved. He rolls Blaine over- who grunts as he topples to the floor but carries on sleeping. Clutching his head gingerly, Kurt manages to stand and on wobbly legs makes his way to the bathroom where he proceeds to throw up violently. 

“Happy New Year,” comes Blaine’s gruff voice from the doorway. 

“Go ‘way,” Kurt mumbles before retching into the toilet bowl once more. “You don’t wanna see me like this.”

“I love you,” Blaine says by way of explanation, and he kneels on the floor next to him and presses a cool washcloth to the back of his neck. “Come on. Let’s get you back to bed. I’ll get you some advil and water and when you wake up you’ll feel better.” He helps him to his feet, keeping him upright as he brushes his teeth then tucks him under the covers, returning a few minutes later with a large glass of water. “There’s a large number of teenagers asleep all over my house,” he says to Kurt. “And what looks like Sebastian wearing a feather boa and a thong asleep with his head in Puck’s lap.”

“Oh my god, what did we miss?” Kurt laughs weakly. 

“I don’t know, but whatever it was it was worth it,” Blaine says with a grin. 

“I feel like crap, but last night was such fun,” Kurt says as he holds his arms open for Blaine to curl into. 

“My ass burns. Like really burns,” Blaine says and they both chuckle. “You called me a slut.”

“I know.”

“Alcohol turns you into some kind of sex fiend.”

“No,” Kurt corrects. “Alcohol makes me lose my inhibitions. Deep down I’m always a sex fiend, it’s just I get embarrassed.”

“Please don’t be,” Blaine says as he kisses his chest sweetly. “It’s me and you. You’re so hot Kurt. Just...let go. Lose the inhibitions and just be with me. Do what you want, say what you want. I’m never going to judge you.”

“You’re right. And I’ll try. But right now I really need to sleep.” 

When they wake again both feel much brighter, and the smell of food wafting up the stairs forces them into the shower before Blaine walks into the kitchen to find Santana at the stove with Wes and Sebastian sitting at the table holding their heads in their hands. 

“Eggs,” Santana states as she sets a plate down in front of Kurt who smiles at her gratefully. Blaine kisses her cheek as he passes then dodges the kick aimed his way as he helps himself for coffee. 

“You love me,” he says blowing a kiss in her direction. “Where is everyone?” 

“Finn and Rachel are still asleep somewhere. I think she took your drunken advice,” she says pointedly and Blaine blushes as he stares at the floor. “Everyone else has gone.”

“Even Brittany?”

“Even Brittany,” she answers stiffly, then tenses even more as Blaine sidles up to her at the stove and wraps his arms around her waist. 

“Wanna talk?”

“Not much point,” she says with a sad smile, and as she dishes up Blaine’s eggs he notices there are tears in her eyes. Taking her by the hand he drags her into the music room, which looks immaculate and not at all like it had a couple of hours earlier. “I cleaned,” she says as she notices the stunned look on Blaine’s face. 

“You’ll be okay,” he says without letting go of her hand, but she stares at the ground and shakes her head. 

“No, I don’t think we will,” she answers softly. “Brittany and I...we want different things. She doesn’t love me the way I love her, and though that stings like a bitch, it’s something I’ll get over in time.”

“You’ll find the one,” Blaine states.

“Maybe. But we can’t all be as lucky as you and Kurt I guess.”

“You have me,” he offers. “I know it’s a friendship and not the profound love affair you perhaps desire, but I do love you Santana. And Kurt and I will always be here for you.” 

“I know. I just feel like I’ve lost everything right now.”

“Your Abuela, has she spoken with you?”

“No. I’m dead to her apparently,” she chokes out a small laugh at this, still unable to believe the turn of events. “And I feel like I destroyed that relationship...and for what? For someone who doesn’t love me back?”

Blaine holds her in his arms and lets her cry, rubbing his hands over her back as he soothes. “She loves you. It’s just.... she’s Brittany. But you would have come out sooner or later sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that,” she mutters into his shirt. 

“Kurt and I have our parents coming for dinner later. Wanna stay?”

“Are you kidding me?” she asks as she pulls away. “You lot are like the fucking Partridge family. No thank you, I’m going to Quinn’s house to pour scorn on project runway,” she says airily, though Blaine knows her well enough by now to know she is grateful. “Come on. Your eggs will be cold.” 

They return to the kitchen to find a heated debate raging between the three men over which Star Wars film is the best, and Blaine pulls out a chair to join in. As soon as he sits he’s on his feet again, ignoring the smirk from Kurt and leaning against the counter to eat his eggs instead. 

“Sit down,” Santana orders. 

“I...um...I can't,” he whispers, red faced.

“Yes, well. I’m not surprised,” she says as she takes Blaine’s place at the table instead. “‘Oh fuck Kurt! Yes! Yes!’” she mocks with a devilish grin as Sebastian turns in his seat to look at him. 

“Are you my slut Blaine? Are you a slut for my cock?” he teases as Kurt slumps as far down in his seat as possible. 

“Oh my god, please stop,” Wes moans. “Blaine is like my brother. Please.”

“You must’ve been listening,” Blaine huffs in annoyance.

“It’s pretty damn hard not to when you’re at it on your bedroom floor!” Santana counters. “The whole house could hear- even over the music!” 

Their joking and teasing dies down and eventually they all go home- a sickly sweet Rachel and Finn giggling when they eventually emerge and Rachel quietly informs Blaine that she’s changed the sheets- which makes Blaine gag at the very thought. Shutting the door behind them, Kurt leans against it and hold his arms open to Blaine who falls into his embrace gratefully and rests his chin over Kurt’s shoulder. 

“Feeling better?”

“Kiss me, then I’ll tell you.”

Taking his face gently in his hands, Blaine grazes his lips softly over Kurt’s full, rosy mouth- still enjoying the sparks that shoot through him with every touch. He presses their lips together again, slightly firmer this time and opens his mouth to tease into Kurt’s with his tongue. 

“Better,” Kurt whispers as he pulls away with a coy smile. 

“Happy New Year,” Blaine whispers back, as he presses their foreheads together. 

“I hope so.”

“I’m telling you,” Blaine says with a kiss to his nose, “this will be our year, Kurt Hummel. Our year.”


	31. Chapter 31

Six months later. 

“What do you want?” Burt asks as he eyes the bag of donuts suspiciously. 

“Why does me bringing food mean I want something?” Blaine asks nonchalantly as he settles on the now familiar stool. 

“Because every Friday for the last six months, you show up with coffee, mooch around here for an hour generally being useless at fixing things and then skip off to meet Kurt from school. You only bring baked goods if you want something, because you wouldn’t want to upset Kurt by giving me muffins or donuts unless really necessary.”

“It’s the end of the semester next week.”

“I am aware.”

“And I was wondering....”

“See? You want something,” Burt huffs as he turns back to the engine he had been tinkering with. 

“I want to take Kurt on vacation.”

“No.”

“You always say no.”

“I know.”

“And then you huff a bit before changing your mind.”

“I know that too,” he says with his back turned.

“So....Can I take him away?”

“If you really feel you must,” Burt says with a heavy sigh, but there’s a twinkle in his eye as he turns to face him. “Where?”

“Um...well we’re going to LA...”

“With your parents, to visit Cooper again. I know that.”

“And then I thought we might go to Hawaii for a week.”

“Without your parents I take it?”

“Yes. Just us.”

“Okay.”

“Thank you,” Blaine says, marvelling at the simplicity of the conversation. “You’re a good dad, you know that?”

“Thanks,” Burt says with a hint of pride. “It’s been a good year for Kurt.”

“It really has,” Blaine smiles. “And his grades have been exceptional.”

“Yeah...I’m pretty proud of him,” Burt says with a smile. “You too.”

“Me? I haven’t done anything.”

“Yes you have. Every time those damn commercials come on the tv I tell anyone within earshot that you wrote them.”

Blaine laughs quietly and rubs the back of his neck- a shy habit he’s never broken from childhood. “Yeah...they’re pretty annoying. But I followed my brief so...”

“And you make my boy so happy.”

“Well...he’s my everything so....yeah.....I like making him happy, cause he makes me happy too.”

“I know. You’re a pair of lovesick fools. Do you ever argue?”

“Not really. There’s not a lot to argue about,” Blaine muses as he scrunches up his nose in thought. “Last summer was pretty rough I guess...but we haven’t argued since then. Oh, apart from when it was Sebastian’s birthday and the stripper climbed on my lap.”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh! Um...joke?” Blaine offers weakly and Burt huffs and goes back to work. 

Blaine decides to hold off on the vacation news and they follow their now familiar routine of meeting in the school parking lot before going to Kurt’s house for friday dinner and then to the Lima Bean for Blaine’s gig. 

Once Blaine is playing, Kurt turns to Wes, opening his mouth a few times before finally getting up the courage to speak. 

“So....If someone asked you to junior prom....would you go?”

Wes ignores the way Sebastian chokes on his drink and Nick and Jeff hide their smirks, choosing instead to take Kurt by the arm and guide him to the back of the coffee shop where they can talk in relative peace. 

“Well...I’m chaperoning Junior prom at Dalton this year, so I’ve got to say no.”

“Oh.” Kurt blushes scarlet as he lets his eyes find Blaine at his piano. 

“But then again, I’m not head over heels in love with you,” Wes says with a playful nudge in his side. “Ask him.”

“No, no. You’re right. People will think he’s a chaperone or something. It’ll just be awkward.”

“Kurt how many times has he said ‘anything for you?’ He really would do anything to make you happy.”

“Yeah....but I don’t want to make him unhappy.”

“I don’t think you would.”

Kurt sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, appreciating the strong arm Wes throws over his shoulders. “It’s like...most of the time...those fifteen years mean nothing. But then suddenly, there it is, staring me starkly in the face. This is my junior prom. Blaine shouldn’t have to suffer through that just to please me. He’s done all that years ago, and his experience in that area isn’t great.” 

“No, it’s not. And he never went to any proms at Dalton. What are you going to do if you don’t ask him? Are you still going to go or...?”

“I don’t think so. Everyone is paired off already and I have no wish to stand out even more than I already do. I just... I guess I just always wanted to be escorted to prom by a dashing gentlemen who held me on his arm and treated me like a prince. One in the eye for all the haters,” he laughs quietly. 

“I think that’s what Blaine wanted too. Sebastian offered to be his date senior year, and I know most of the girls at St. Mary’s would’ve given anything to go with him, but I think he just wanted to go with someone who loved him for him. Seb loves him now as a friend, but back then he treated Blaine like a piece of meat.” They both look out over the crowd as Blaine continues to play, now strumming his guitar. He catches Kurt’s eye and offers a wink, making Kurt blush and Blaine laugh into the next line of his song. “Look at this another way,” Wes offers. “How is he going to feel if you don’t say anything, and then he finds out- through Rachel probably- that you wanted to go but didn’t ask?”

“Will they tease him?” he asks fearfully as he looks at Blaine’s friends. 

“Mercilessly. But they always do. They love you Kurt, just as I do. You may only be seventeen but you’re fun to be around and you and Blaine bounce off each other like some old comedy duo. If we didn’t like you we would just continue to hang around with Blaine when you’re not around. We include you because we want to, not because we have to. Blaine gets teased by them about his hair, his dress sense, music taste...you name it. It’s just what they do. Don’t worry about what they think.”

“I’ll ask him,” he says decisively, wincing when Wes kisses his cheek. 

“Go for it!"

When Blaine pulls up to Kurt's house that night, he turns to him expecting his usual kiss goodnight, but instead Kurt wrings his hands nervously. 

"Could we....could we maybe drive somewhere? I want to talk to you, and I don't want it to be here," he says with a nod toward his house where he can see Finn and Sam sitting on the porch. 

"Sure." Blaine is full of nerves as he drives to the outskirts of Lima. Kurt has been distant ever since his conversation with Wes- who refused to divulge its content to Blaine and just said it was for Kurt to share when he was ready. Reaching across, he covers Kurt's hand with trembling fingers of his own and offers a weak smile which Kurt returns nervously before looking out the window at the dark night streaking by. They come to rest on the edge of a field- nothing in front of them except the distant lights of the town as Blaine cuts the engine and turns to face him. 

"This is it, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?" Kurt asks in confusion.

"I'm too old, this isn't working....all of that. You don't want me anymore." Staring at his hands folded in his lap, Blaine swallows dryly and tries to keep the tears from clouding his vision. 

"What are you talking about?" Kurt asks incredulously. "Since when do you think that?"

"You missed most of my set because you were talking with Wes. He won't tell me what it was, but you looked so worried. Then I saw Sebastian hugging you as we left. I'm not stupid."

"Not stupid, no," Kurt starts slowly, "but severely misled. I'm not finishing anything. The last fifteen months with you have been the best of my entire life. I was talking to Wes because I wanted his opinion on something."

"Oh?"

"On whether I should ask you to junior prom." 

"Oh." 

"I didn't want you to feel awkward. I know you don't love prom ever since.... Well. And I didn't want you to feel like you were just indulging a childish fantasy of mine. It kinda threw me a bit when Wes told me he's chaperoning one, I mean- he's the same age as you. But.... He thinks I should ask you."

"And what's your conclusion?" Blaine asks quietly. 

"Willyoucometopromwithme?" he rushes out, and even in the dark Blaine can sense his blush.

"Of course."

"Really?"

"As long as you're not embarrassed to be seen with me."

"Why would I be embarrassed?"

"I don't know," Blaine sighs. "I just.... Sometimes I feel really old," he laughs. "Compared to you I mean. That's not to say you're immature," he goes on quickly, "just that I feel people looking. Wondering what you see in me, or thinking I'm taking advantage of you."

"Since when do we give a shit, Blaine? And if people are looking its only because we look awesome together," he jokes. "You and I.... We fell in love. It's not anyone else's business except our own. We're lucky enough to have amazing support from family and friends but even if we didn't, I'd still love you. I told Wes I want you to be my date for prom because I've always wanted to be escorted by a true gentleman, and that's you. You're my Prince Charming who has swept me off my feet and given me my happily ever after. If people choose to question that, or make snap judgements based on appearances or age, then let them. They're just jealous that they'll never have anyone as amazing as you." He pauses, eyes searching into Blaine's where the moonlight is reflected. "You may now kiss me," he smiles. 

"I could kiss you forever and it would never be enough," he says fondly as he leans over to kiss his lips. "And I will be your date for junior prom, and senior prom and any other prom you can think of from now until the end of time, as long as you love me."

"I will. Always."

"Even when I have moments like these?"

"Even then. Blaine, it's okay to have a moment, I had one earlier. We know there's a big age gap here, but I think we deal with it pretty well. It's just sometimes we notice it more than others. But ultimately the thing to remember is that neither of us want to be with anyone else." 

"I have something to ask you too," Blaine says with a smile. "I was gonna wait...but...it just seems right."

"Um..."

"I'm not proposing!" he states quickly, and Kurt lets out a relieved laugh.

"Okay. Wow. Cause I gotta say, I had higher hopes for a proposal than sitting in a Prius at midnight." 

Blaine shakes his head, baffled.

"What?"

"You're not worried about the fact I might be proposing, you're worried about the fact it's not romantic enough."

Kurt just shrugs. "You're my Prince Charming," he says, as if that explains everything. "Now ask whatever it is." 

"Okay," Blaine side eyes him, still stunned, but decides to dwell on that later. "I talked with your dad today."

"It's Friday. You always spend Friday afternoons at the garage."

"Can you let me speak?" he asks with a cute bop to his nose. "Anyway. I was wondering if- after we've been to LA- if you'd like to come on vacation with me?" 

"Yes," he grins. "Oh, but I don't have any money."

"Don't worry about money. Just bring you. And lube."

"Oh my god!" He laughs and falls into Blaine's lap as best he can with the steering wheel in the way. "You're serious! Where do you want to go?"

"Hawaii? For a week?"

"Seriously? Yes! I'm there!" he bounces excitedly until Blaine stills him by gripping his hips. 

"If you're gonna do that can we at least move into the backseat?" 

"My curfew was a half hour ago," Kurt points out but even as he does so he's climbing over the seats and dragging Blaine along too. 

"You wanna go home?"

"What do you think?" he asks with one eyebrow raised. His hand finds the back of Blaine's neck and pulls him in for a deep kiss, tongues winding together instantly as Blaine pins him down on the seats. "Hawaii!" he squeals as Blaine kisses along his jaw. "Boyfriends vacation!" 

Blaine's laugh resonates through him as he nuzzles under Kurt's ear. "Vacation sex," he teases softly before running his tongue down Kurt's neck. "Lots and lots of vacation sex."

Hands tug at clothing, shirts becoming fast untucked as belt buckles are loosened and flies are unzipped. Lube is located in the glove box and Blaine stretches Kurt as quick as he dares, flicking his nipples with his tongue as he whispers against his skin. "I wanna do so much to you.... Try so much with you."

"I know, I know," Kurt moans as he arches his back in pleasure. "But there's not time or room now. Hawaii, however..." he grins at the mention of it, "when we're on our vacation...." 

"We may not get much of a tan," Blaine smiles as he maneuvers Kurt to straddle his legs. 

"Ah who cares," he says as he slides down Blaine's cock and sighs deeply. "Tanning is overrated anyway." 

By the time Kurt returns home he is so reluctant to let go of Blaine that he begs and pleads with him to stay.

"I can't. You know that. Besides, you have work tomorrow."

"So get up early and sneak out," he whispers. "Please. I just want to hold you." 

"Don't say things like that," Blaine begs as he nuzzles against Kurt's neck. "You know that's my favorite."

"It's been three weeks since we had a night together," Kurt points out. 

"Kuuuurt," he whines. 

"Please?" 

And Blaine knows he is beat the moment Kurt fixes those big, round, now not-so-innocent eyes on his and traces along his jaw. He sighs heavily.

"What time does your dad wake up?"

"Six."

"Ugh. Come on then," he says. Giving in, he opens his door and walks around the other side to escort Kurt from the car as he always does. "If we get caught I'm blaming you entirely," he whispers as they creep up the stairs. 

"Hell no," Kurt laughs as quiet as he can. "If we get caught I'm telling dad you snuck in while I was sleeping and I had no idea." 

They are too tired to do anything other than change into pajama bottoms and fall into bed, where Blaine finally relaxes once his head is on Kurt's chest and his arms circle his waist. Kurt holds Blaine carefully, as if he might break if not properly protected, and kisses into his hair lovingly. 

"Thank you."

"I'd do anything for you," Blaine murmurs sleepily, "but I need this as much as you do, gorgeous boy." 

*

"Kurt...." The knock on the door startles Blaine who bolts upright and tries to find his phone to check the time. 

"Kurt..." He hisses, "Kurt, your dad is outside."

"Whoa!" He sits quickly, rubbing at his eyes and looking so adorably sleep mussed that Blaine can't help but kiss his cheek quickly. 

"Kurt!" his dad's voice comes again, and Kurt doesn't dare respond. They hear him sigh through the door then he tries again. "Blaine? Is Kurt still asleep?" 

"Um...." Blaine's voice comes out high and trembling as Kurt hides in the covers to stifle his giggles. "How- how did you know I was here?"

"Your car's outside, you fool," Burt chuckles. "Coffee is downstairs when you're ready. Tell Kurt we're leaving at eight thirty." 

"Uh...okay," Blaine calls back, then finds Kurt in the tangle of blankets as he hears Burt going down the stairs. "Did that just actually happen?" he asks him incredulously. 

"I think it did. Holy shit!" Kurt says in surprise. "Do you think this a trap? He's trying to lure us downstairs where he will ground me until I leave for college?"

"I don't know," Blaine answers honestly. "Take a shower and get dressed. I'll go down and talk to him."

"You don't have to." 

"I know," he smiles as he pulls his clothes on and kisses Kurt's forehead. "By the way....when you wake up....you look more beautiful than ever." 

"Stop it," Kurt says with a coy look from under his lashes.

"I mean it. I can't wait to wake up to your gorgeous face everyday." He leaves with a wink, which makes Kurt's insides do a funny flip before he reaches for his laptop and immediately opens a new chat window.

Guess who's going to Hawaii, with his boyfriend? ALONE! For a WHOLE WEEK!!!!!

He runs to the shower and awaits the replies. 

"Morning," Blaine says apprehensively as he walks into the kitchen. 

"Mornin'. Help yourself," Burt says gesturing to the coffee and a large pile of toast. "Kurt not down?"

"Uh no. He's taking a shower," Blaine says, trying not to blush as he pours coffee into a mug. "Look, Burt. I know we didn't ask if I could sleepover. It's just....we were late home and I was really tired so...."

"I know you were late," he comments. "I heard you come in. Kurt's louder than Finn on those stairs. And I heard the pair of you whispering."

"Sorry."

"I wish you'd asked," he says honestly. "But really....Kurt's almost eighteen. He's been in a steady, loving relationship for over a year. I'm trying...." He says, pausing to clear his throat. "I'm trying to let him go," his voice cracks as he stares at the table. "He's growing up and I'm so proud of him. So goddamn proud, but I can't escape the fact that this time next year he'll be getting ready to leave home- and that hurts like hell. It feels like the past eighteen years has just slipped through my fingers somehow and now my little boy isn't holding tea parties and wearing pearls- he's becoming a man. So I guess....what I'm trying to say is....if you wanna sleepover at weekends or whatever, you can. Just come and go as you please I guess. You're practically part of the furniture anyway." 

He's surprised by the hug from Blaine but returns it warmly, only pulling back to wipe at his eyes and smile at Kurt coming into the kitchen- who looks like a startled rabbit. 

"I'm not grounded?"

"No. Blaine can sleepover whenever he wants. You're too old for me to be dictating to you like that. It's not like you and Blaine are rushing into things." 

Blaine's phone buzzes and he reads a text- frowning slightly as he reads it back to Kurt. "Santana says an entire chat conversation is going on and you're missing out. Get online now before she hunts you down. Those were her words, not mine." 

Kurt grins and runs back upstairs to his laptop. 

Santana: Vacation? Why are you even bothering to go away? You could just save your money and lock yourselves in his house. 

Mike: Awesome. Really pleased for you.

Tina: I demand pics! 

Sam: Ew.

Tina: Not THOSE type of pics :O

Quinn: Does Rach know? She's gonna blow. 

Puck: Well she sure as shit ain't blowing Hudson. 

Finn: I wake up to find my brother is allowed to go on vacation without our parents and my sex life is being discussed.

Sam: Lack of. 

Finn: And actually, she does put out. 

Santana: Where the hell is Hummel? He can't post that and disappear.

Finn: He's downstairs I think. I can hear Burt talking with someone anyway.

Artie: Praise for the vacay! Boy sex!

Mercedes: OMG Kurt I am FREAKING OUT!!! This is HUGE.

Finn: Actually I think he's in the shower. So who's talking to Burt?

Puck: Dude, it's your house. How are we supposed to know?

Santana: I'm texting Blaine. He can tell him to get his ass online.

Kurt: I'm here! I'm here! And I am flailing SO HARD RIGHT NOW!!! 

Sam: Dude it's like eight in the morning. Why did he call you at this time to tell you?

Kurt: He didn't, he told me last night but....

Finn: KURT!!! Why is Blaine in the kitchen?

Santana: Wanky.

Kurt: Um yeah, he stayed.

Finn: And you're both still alive?

Kurt: Dad says he can sleep over on weekends if he wants :) 

Puck: Burt Hummel for father of the year.

Santana: Did you do the nasty with your dad across the hall?

Kurt: Nope. We'd already done that in his car. I just wanted to hold him.

Artie: In his car? Hot damn boy!

Sam: Again, Ew.

Tina: You two are so cute!! 

Quinn: Rachel is soooo gonna lose her shit over this. 

Finn: This is so unfair. 

Puck: You shoulda picked a woman in her 40's

Kurt: 32, Noah. He's 32.

Santana: There's no way in hell you two will be able to walk when you get home- and as for sitting down for the flight....

Rachel: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!! 

Finn is offline  
Sam is offline  
Artie is offline  
Puck is offline  
Quinn is offline  
Mike is offline  
Tina is offline  
Mercedes is offline

Brittany is online

Brittany is offline

Santana: I'm totally still here. This is gonna be good. 

The sound of a throat clearing has Kurt shutting his laptop with a snap and turning, cheeks flushed, to look at Blaine guiltily. 

"I know what you're doing," he says, lounging in the doorway, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. "It's okay. I'd flail over me too," he grins as he crawls across the bed to him. 

"I...I...I was just...."

"I have to go," he says with a kiss to his cheek. "I'm having lunch with Santana apparently, though she's driving as for some inexplicable reason she refuses to get in my car." Kurt thinks the look Blaine gives him may be pointed, but he's none too sure so he just smiles weakly instead. 

"Will I see you later?" 

"Sure. Want to go out for dinner?" 

"Okay. But not too late. I have a ton of study to do for finals next week."

"I could sleepover," Blaine says as he pulls Kurt's earlobe between his teeth. "Help you study?"

"I like the sound of that. I think I may need to study your body very, very....hard," he whispers, emphasizing the last word hotly. 

"Jeez. I have to go, otherwise you'll be naked with your legs wrapped around your neck. Your dad wants to leave too. Love you," he says with a light kiss to his lips. 

Kurt watches after his retreating back then turns quickly back to his laptop where a war rages between Rachel and Santana. 

Kurt: I have to go, but for your information, Rachel: This is not blatant favoritism, it's about Blaine and I having been in a stable, mature, committed relationship for nearly eighteen months and having proven we can be trusted. And Santana: We take it in turns.

Rachel: DON'T YOU DARE WALK AWAY FROM THIS KURT HUMMEL! DON'T YOU DARE! 

Santana: Really? Wow. Didn't think you'd be one to top. Dark horse.

Kurt is offline.


	32. Chapter 32

“Excuse me? May I have this dance?” Blaine stands holding one, slightly trembling hand out to Kurt, and smiles gently, warmly and reassuringly. Swallowing his nerves, Kurt takes his hand and together they start to sway. 

“Keep smiling, gorgeous boy,” Blaine murmurs, keeping his lips as still as possible. “Just keep smiling.”

“Blaine....”

“Shh, I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

“Blaine..... Thank you,” Kurt says simply, and it’s enough. 

The evening had started well. Blaine had picked a completely over excited Kurt up, looking dapper as ever in his tux as he pinned a corsage to Kurt’s jacket. 

“So tell me...” he said on the way to the school, “Are you a true scotsman under that kilt?”

“What do you think?” Kurt had teased, crossing his legs and trying to act prim. 

“I think I’d like to find out.” Blaine had allowed his hand to slide up Kurt’s thigh, letting out a mock groan of disappointment when his fingers had encountered skintight shorts. 

“Maybe later, if you play your cards right,” Kurt replied with a wink. 

They had danced together, and with friends, trying to ignore the seething, simmering rage between Rachel and Quinn and smiling at the way Finn managed to be cluelessly caught in the middle of it all. No one seemed to mind Blaine being there- in fact he had managed to hold his first proper civilized conversation with Will Schuester. He had politely explained how upset Kurt had been over regionals- that when he had finally gathered enough courage to ask for a solo he was turned down- and Will actually listened and agreed that an audition process might be fairer next time. They were still talking when Principal Figgins had taken to the stage to announce the Homecoming King and Queen- and Kurt had found his way to Blaine’s side as Quinn elbowed past them to get to the front. 

"This is gonna be a complete car crash," Kurt had murmured with a wry smile, and Blaine had squeezed his fingers in response. 

When Karofsky had been crowned King there was a small murmur of dissent, mainly from girls- including Quinn- while Finn just looked relieved. And then Kurt's name had been called as Queen and all hell had broken loose. But Blaine's feet had carried him right after him, down the deserted hallways until they stopped in front of a row of lockers. It had been Kurt who made the decision to go back in- firmly telling Blaine:

"They can't touch us, or what we have,"

And Blaine had never felt more proud than he had in that moment. He could see it in Kurt's walk though, how truly terrified he was. Still, he held his head high- walking with an air of confidence which belied the cracked interior that only Blaine could see. Left on the platform alone, barely able to breathe and frozen by fear, Kurt had been seconds away from high tailing it again when Blaine appeared. Blaine. His knight in shining armor, his Prince Charming and his love. Blaine, who asked him to dance in front of the entire school and held him tightly, showing everyone how much he is loved. Blaine, who was now talking to him, asking if he was ready to go home, and as soon as Kurt nodded his consent, he took his hand and escorted him to the car. 

"Can we go to your place?" Kurt asks timidly, suddenly feeling very young and insecure.

"Sure. I'll text your dad and let him know," Blaine says quietly. 

The drive home is quiet, with only the radio playing softly in the background. Kurt slumps his head against the window and closes his eyes- trying to comprehend the events of the last few hours and willing his fear and self loathing not to get the better of him once more. Blaine stands nervously in the hallway, wringing his hands and unsure whether he should attempt to touch Kurt. He wants to; he wants to crush him tightly to his chest and reassure him over and over that it was a childish prank from which he emerged triumphant, and to remind him how far he has come. But he is also fearful. He can remember with picture perfect clarity this time last year, when he felt as if his entire world was crumbling before his very eyes as Kurt struggled with his inner demons, and the few months of hell they both endured after the kiss. 

"I don't know what to do," he whispers, deciding honesty is his best option right now. "I don't know how you're feeling, or what I can do to make it better...I just know I don't want it to be like last time." 

"It won't be," Kurt says immediately. "Because this time I know, and can recognize that I need you. I need you to....just....love me. Love me like you always do, because that's enough."

"Okay," Blaine nods. "do you want um....I don't know. I don't know what I'm trying to say," he laughs nervously. 

"Would you play for me?" 

"Yes." Another quick nod and he leads the way to the silent music room, patting the bench and feeling relieved when Kurt sits next to him and rests his head on his shoulder. 

"I hate this," Kurt says, voice filled with tears. "I hate that it's always you who saves me. Always you who picks me up, never the other way around." 

"Kurt.... Let me play something for you. It might not cure everything, but it might explain my feelings better than I can right now." 

"Close your eyes  
Let me tell you all the reasons why  
I think you’re one of a kind.  
Here’s to you  
The one that always pulls us through  
Always do what you got to do  
You’re one of a kind  
Thank god you're mine.

You’re an angel dressed in armor  
You’re the fair in every fight  
You’re my life and my safe harbor  
Where the sun sets every night  
And if my love is blind  
I don’t want to see the light.

It’s your beauty that betrays you  
Your smile gives you away.  
Cause you’re made of strength and mercy  
And my soul is yours to save  
I know this much is true  
When my world was dark and blue  
I know the only one who rescued me was you

Close your eyes  
Let me tell you all the reasons why  
You’re never going to have to cry  
Because you’re one of a kind  
Yeah, here’s to you  
The one that always pulls us through  
You always do what you got to do, baby  
Because you’re one of a kind.

When your love pours down on me  
I know I’m finally free  
So I tell you gratefully  
Every single beat in my heart is yours to keep

So close your eyes  
Let me tell you all the reasons why,  
You’re never going to have to cry, baby  
Because you’re one of a kind  
Yeah, here’s to you  
You’re the one that always pulls us through  
You always do what you got to do, babe  
'Cause you’re one of a kind.

You’re the reason why I’m breathing.  
With a little look my way  
You’re the reason that I’m feeling  
It’s finally safe to stay."

As the song draws to a close, Blaine keeps his eyes shut in the silence that follows, until curiosity gets the better of him and he looks at Kurt, whose eyes are shining like the sky on a bright summers day. 

"Did you write that?" he asks quietly, and Blaine nods. 

"For me?" 

"Yes." 

"You mean all that?"

"Every word," Blaine says solemnly. "You saved me the day you walked into my life," he whispers, "And a million times since. I don't know where I would be without you. I'm glad I can pick you up when things are rough, but please don't ever belittle yourself by thinking you don't do the same for me."

Kurt doesn't answer- he can't. He simply takes Blaine's face in his hands and kisses him softly, reverently and with the deepest love and affection Blaine has ever known. Their love making that night is sweet and tender, and as they lie entwined together on the bed- gazing deep into one another's eyes- Blaine pushes slowly into Kurt and they move together as one. They don't move after, just content to lie together sharing soft smiles and delicate touches until Kurt drifts into the most contented sleep he's ever known, and Blaine flips out the light before joining him. 

Blaine's phone wakes him, jolting him back to the harsh reality of it being far too early on a Saturday to really get out of bed, but he rubs at his eyes blearily and squints to read the text. 

Kurt left his phone in Rachel's purse last night. Tell him I'll cover for him at the garage today, I'm guessing you two could use some time together. Finn.

Blaine smiles, shaking his head as he thinks about how far this young man has come in a year, and how he now sees him completely as Kurt's brother. 

Thanks. We're good, but yes- I think Kurt could do with some time. We'll bring you and Burt lunch later.

Cool. I eat a lot though. And tell Kurt I love him.

"Finn loves you," Blaine says as soon as Kurt starts to stir. 

"What? Ugh. He...what?"

"He loves you."

"Yeah I know," Kurt replies, waking up a little more now as he sits and stretches. "He tells me the entire time. Either that or he begs to borrow my English notes. I love him too," he says with a smile as he moves to Blaine's lap and snuggles against him. "But not in the same way as I love you."

“I’m glad about that,” Blaine says with a smile and a kiss to his lips. “And I’m glad you’re naked too,” he carries on as he smoothes his hands over Kurt’s back, skimming the top of his ass with his fingers. 

“When we go to Hawaii, are clothes strictly necessary?” Kurt asks, throwing his head back to allow Blaine’s eager tongue access to his throat. 

“Hmm, the other guests at the resort might have something to say,” he smiles against his skin. “But I think we should have a naked at all times rule for when we’re inside our apartment.”

This time when they arrive in LA, Maddie and Taylor fly into Kurt’s open arms, leaving Blaine to grumble about the lack of attention until the three of them tackle him to the floor and shower him in kisses. 

“Dad says you’re taking Uncle Kurt to Hawaii,” Taylor says excitedly as he sits cross legged on Blaine’s stomach. “Room for two more? Or just one? Maddie doesn’t need to come- it could be a boys only trip.”

“I am here, you know,” Maddie huffs. “And there is no way Uncle Blaine is gonna let us go too.”

“Nope,” he grins. “This trip is boys only alright, but just us two.”

“Uncle Kurt?” Kurt sits on the grass, looking awkwardly up at Cooper who smiles down at him. 

“Is that okay? We figured you’re not going anywhere, and the kids adore you.”

“It’s...uh...yeah,” he grins. “Thank you.”

“You’re part of the family now, honey,” Cooper’s wife Claire says as she offers her hand to pull him to his feet. “And with that title comes responsibility,” she adds with a wicked grin. “Like...babysitting tonight?”

“Sure.”

“You mean it?”

“Why not?”

“Oh thank you, thank you! I’ve been trying to take Cooper out for his birthday for the last three weeks but we can never get a sitter. They don’t need too much watching, just make sure they...”

“It’s fine,” Kurt cuts her off. “We’ll feed them junk food and watch movies until they fall asleep at way past their bedtimes. Like you said- with the title comes responsibility. That’s what Uncles do, right?” he teases and Claire grins back. 

“Oh you wait. You wait. When you two have kids I’m gonna give Cooper free reign.”

“No,” Blaine moans as he walks up behind them and wraps Kurt in his arms. “Please no.” 

The lighthearted atmosphere continues for the rest of the day, and then Blaine and Kurt wave goodbye to the other four adults and turn to face their charges. 

“Okay, what first?” Blaine asks with a grin. “Movie?”

“Pillow fight!” Maddie screams as she picks up the nearest cushion and hurls it at him. 

“Holy crap I am exhausted,” Blaine moans as he falls into bed alongside Kurt later that night. 

“I don’t remember being that monstrous,” Kurt muses. “Maybe I was when Rachel was with me. The rest of the time I was pretty quiet.” 

“I wanted sex,” Blaine grumbles sleepily. “Too tired now...”

“There’s always the morning,” Kurt says fondly as he pulls Blaine into his arms. 

By the time they eventually emerge from the pool house the next day, Blaine’s parents are sunbathing by the pool and inform them that the twins have gone to softball practise with their dad. 

“Blaine darling, can I have a word?” Sara asks as casually as she can muster. 

“Sure,” he replies, sitting down next to her. 

“Uh....No. Actually, I think this will be better coming from your dad. Mike!” she calls across to where he is just starting a game of chess with Kurt. “Can you talk to Blaine?”

“Uh-uh. No way.”

“Oh.”

“What is it mom? Just tell me,” Blaine asks, beginning to worry. 

“Well darling it’s just that...you know.”

“No.. I don’t.”

“Darling we love you and Kurt very much, we really do. And we’re happy that you’re happy. But it’s just...sometimes.... you’re quite loud.”

“Oh god,” Blaine moans, face flaring red. 

“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself...” she starts, equally as embarrassed and not really sure what she’s trying to say. “But I just wondered if you could maybe be a bit quieter, that’s all.”

“Oh my god,” Blaine whispers again. “Please stop. I swear I’ll never have sex again if that’s what you want, just please stop talking.”

“Oh no darling, that’s not what I want at all. I’m all for sex. Your dad and I...”

“No.” he cuts her off abruptly. “Just no. I’m sorry you heard us....”

“We didn’t really hear Kurt to be honest, just a few moans. It was more you...”

“I’m begging you. Be quiet,” Blaine implores. “I love you both enormously but I really do not want to have this discussion with you or dad. I promise you won’t hear me again. And please, never talk to Kurt about this. I’d never get him down from the ceiling.”

“What was all that about?” Kurt asks as he goes to fix drinks with Blaine. 

“You know you said you’d like to experiment with toys....?” Blaine begins as he fills four glasses of water.

“What? What kind of conversation did you even have?” Kurt asks in confusion. 

“How do you feel about gags?”


	33. Chapter 33

Their last night in LA finds them much the same as a year ago- Kurt sitting on the beach with Maddie and Taylor as Cooper and Blaine sit on the low wall together and watch the waves. 

“They’re really going to miss him,” Cooper comments as Taylor rests his head on Kurt’s shoulder and his arm instinctively goes around him. 

“We miss them too. I wish you were closer.” 

“I’d consider it,” Cooper admits. “But I don’t know where you and Kurt are going to end up.”

“Together,” Blaine says simply.

“I know that. But where in the world? Kurt talks of New York, and travelling....”

“I know he does.”

“And you? College applications are right around the corner.”

Blaine sighs heavily. “I still maintain he needs to go to college on his own. It’s not necessarily what I want- I’d move in with him tomorrow if I could. But he’s fifteen years younger. I want him to have the same experiences as any of his friends. I know we’re meant to be- I just have to be patient.” 

“I agree with you, but what does Kurt feel?”

“He wants me to go with him.”

“So he’s not thinking of New York?” Cooper asks in confusion, eyes going wide when it dawns on him. “You haven't told him! Blaine, you idiot!”

“I can’t,” Blaine cries. “Where do I even start?”

“You start by telling him you never want to go to New York again.”

“But it’s all he wants,” Blaine says sadly. “It’s all he can talk about. Whenever the subject of college is raised by his parents it’s like it’s a given that he will go to New York. That’s all he’s ever dreamed of. I wish he was more like his brother- who hasn’t a clue where he’s going. Then he’d be open to persuasion at least. But if there’s one thing Kurt is, it’s stubborn as hell. His mind is made up and there’s no way I can change it.” 

“So...If he considered Boston, say....or UCLA...what? You’re saying you’d go with him?”

“I would still try and persuade him to go alone, but I know I could back it up with promises of visits. And if he still really wanted me to move with him then yes, I would.” 

"So you have two choices," Cooper says firmly. "You either tell all of this to Kurt, let him decide for himself if he still wants to go to New York or look at other options.... Or you face your demons and head back to the city." 

"I can't," Blaine whispers. "I just can't. Everywhere I look, everywhere I go there will be bad memories and his face haunting me. Those were the darkest days of my life." 

"Yes, and now you're in the brightest ones," Cooper counters. "You know, you've been with Kurt almost as long as you were with Luke. And yet it feels like so much longer. He's part of our family and you're part of his. You've both discussed your future together, you never stop telling each other how in love you are and you're always laughing. You know you never had any of that with Luke. I only met him by accident when I bumped into him leaving your apartment. Kurt is still living at home with his parents and yet you two have shared more quality time together- alone- than you and he ever did. Blaine... You need to tell all of this to Kurt and work a way forward together. Because honestly? I think if you don't then you will end up losing him over this." 

"I know," Blaine says, pausing to swallow his fear. "You're right. But.... Not just yet, okay?"

"No Blaine. Not okay. Quit trying to preserve what you have and deal with this like an adult. You have a weeks vacation together. Set the ball in motion now, before Kurt has to apply."

"You're going to call Wes and tell him about all this, aren't you?" Blaine asks. 

"Every damn word. And if you don't get off your ass and talk to Kurt I'll ask Wes to tell that terrifying Latino chick too. We'll be checking up on you, Blaine. None of us want a repeat of those dark days, and none of us want you to lose the love of your life." 

"Kurt, I have to talk to you," Blaine says that night as they cuddle close.

"That doesn't sound good." Kurt shucks out of his embrace, immediately going cold and defensive as he sits up and wraps his arms around himself. "Blaine, why doesn't that sound good?"

"No it's... Well.... It's nothing too terrible. I just need to discuss something with you, and I want it to be now, so we can enjoy every second of our vacation."

"O-Kay," Kurt says warily. 

"It's about college." Kurt waits expectantly as Blaine stares at the sheets before eventually looking him in the eye. "I know you said something....about me going with you."

"And you refused."

"I didn't refuse! I just.... The thing is Kurt...for me....I have to keep in mind that I've had my time doing all this. If we were the same age then yes, I'd happily pack up and move wherever you were going. But I don't think it will be fair to either of us to do that."

"So.... It's still a no."

"I want you to have this adventure for yourself. And I don't want to be lying awake at night worrying about where you are and if you've made it back to your dorm safely. I don't want petty fights because you sleep until noon and go to bars while I'm working my ass off to save for our future. I want to pick you up from the airport when you come home to visit and take you to my bed where we can be together, totally immersed in one another and I get to hear all about your exploits and laugh with you. I want this relationship to be on an equal footing. I don't want us to fall apart because I didn't allow you room to grow. But I want to make this really clear to you Kurt- I am not, in any way, finishing things. I want to be with you forever." 

"You promise?" 

"You want a proposal? Cause I will." He grins and pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, sending Kurt's heart fluttering as he returns to his embrace once more.

"I do want a proposal at some point, but not on a bed in your brothers pool house."

"Not in the car, not in the pool house.... So picky." Blaine throws his hands up in mock defeat. "You still love me though?" he asks, turning serious once more. 

"Of course," Kurt says. "And I get what you're saying, I really do. But...I wouldn't be asking you to come with me if I didn't want you there. You may have had all those experiences in college, but that doesn't mean I want the same. I don't live like a slob, I don't sleep until noon and I don't drink.... Unless you force champagne on me," he laughs as Blaine makes a shocked face. "I guess what we have to remember is that we want to be together no matter what. Our future lies with one another." 

"Exactly." 

"And I think I know exactly the way to celebrate that," Kurt teases. 

"No."

"Still no? They're all asleep in the house."

"I know but I just.... You make me yell things. I can't help it. You just....do something to me. You only have to kiss my damn neck and I'm a quivering mess."

"Let me blow you."

"Nooooo." Blaine tries for firm but it comes out as more of a strangled mewl when Kurt nips at his neck, letting his hand wander to Blaine's boxers at the same time. 

"Okay...how about we blow each other? At the same time."

"Oh god," Blaine's head falls back with a dull thud against the headboard as he realizes he's done for.

"C'mon," Kurt coaxes, "I thought this vacation was all about experimentation?"

"The vacation proper hasn't started yet," Blaine tries weakly- and even as he protests he lifts his hips for Kurt to rid him of his clothing. 

"Consider this a practice then," Kurt grins, before they both shut up entirely.

They board their flight the next day, saying tearful but excited goodbyes to Cooper, Claire, Maddie and Taylor. Blaine's mom makes him blush by telling him he can be as loud as he likes, and he tugs Kurt eagerly through departures to find their gate. Once they're on their way, and Blaine has talked Kurt out of trying to join the mile high club, he has a chance to think over their conversation from the night before. 

He should have said more, he knows. Should have been honest, and explained his fear of New York. If anyone was going to understand it would be the one who knows him better than any other. But he can't. He can't make this about him, because Blaine knows that if he tells Kurt then there's no way he will even consider NYADA an option- and who is Blaine to do that to him? So he'll take what he can get from the conversation, he thinks to himself as he watches Kurt napping. Which is pride at the level of maturity shown by both of them, a willingness to compromise and a certainty of their future together which leaves him reeling with happiness whenever he thinks about it. The hard drawn out discussions can come later. For now, that is enough.

"It's a hut!" Kurt yells right in Blaine's face excitedly, as he bounces along the walkway. "It's like a hotel of huts!" 

"It's not a hut," Blaine smiles. "At least, it better not be. It might look like a hut," he says, pausing to look at the straw roof, "but the website says they're discreet private apartments....or something like that." He unlocks the door and is immediately barraged out the way by Kurt who runs through the large open space. 

"Oh my god, oh my god!" he squeals, and Blaine can't help but laugh as he takes in the room. The large bed stands center, with magnificent views of the beach and the ocean. There is a small breakfast bar, a fridge and beyond that Blaine can hear an exuberant Kurt extolling the virtues of the bathroom. "Blaine! You can sit in the tub and look at the ocean!" he cries happily. 

"Yup. Or I can sit in the tub and look at you," he smiles fondly as Kurt emerges once more and slides back the doors on the other side of the room.

"Blaine! Blaine! Look!" Waiting until he's sure he has the full attention of his boyfriend, Kurt stands in the doorway. "In the hut," he says with a grin. "On the beach," he says as he steps outside. "Hut, beach. Hut, beach," he continues, stepping happily in and out. "Hut.... Am I being incredibly immature?" he asks, chewing his lip in worry as he notices Blaine watching him with a lopsided smile.

"You're being you," Blaine says sweetly. "You whom I love so very, very much." He joins him in the doorway, one foot in the sand, the other indoors. "Hut and beach at the same time," he whispers proudly against his lips. "We are nothing if not incredibly mature. Race you to the sea."

He pulls his shirt over his head and takes off at a terrific pace, but he has underestimated Kurt- who streaks past him throwing his own shirt to the sand and charging right into the water. Blaine eventually catches him, breathing hard and wrapping his arms around his slender waist to stop him going any further. 

"This is perfect," Kurt smiles, squinting his eyes shut as water drips down his face. 

"It is." A smiling Blaine strokes Kurt's hair back from his forehead and kisses his lips gently. "I don't think I've ever been happier than I am right now." 

"It's a hut," Kurt says with a soft smile as he holds Blaine tightly. 

"Our hut. For a week anyway."

"We can go skinny dipping."

"There are other people here you know," Blaine nods further down the beach. "Families."

"I know," Kurt answers lightly, "but they have to sleep sometime."

"You're wicked," Blaine says as he ignores the other people and licks the salt water from Kurt's neck. 

"I know that, too. Come on, swim out with me." 

They spend a long time in the sea before they shower, dress and walk to the main hotel complex for a sumptuous dinner. They decide against the bar and head back to the beach instead, walking hand in hand along the moonlit shore and smiling a polite good evening to the other walkers. Kurt finds himself trying to suppress over excited giggles but he is so giddy that Blaine can’t help but notice. 

“What is it?” he asks, tugging him to sit on the sand next to him. 

“You’ll laugh.”

“No I won’t,” he starts then scrunches up his nose in thought. “Well...I might. In fact, I probably will, but only because you’re completely adorable.”

“I just...when we passed those other couples and that family....Did you notice? They just said hello as if we were another couple out for a stroll- just like them.”

“We are.”

“I know....but we’re not. We’re two guys for a start, and also....I don’t know, I guess I just felt like an adult. An equal.”

Taking Kurt into his arms, Blaine tilts his face gently. Mesmerized by the way the shimmering water reflects in his lover's eyes, Blaine forgets to speak for a moment and it takes Kurt clearing his throat for him to continue. 

“Sorry. I uh...I’ve lost all comprehensive thought. Um... Adult. Gay. Yes. Yes! Okay. Hawaii is infinitely more accepting than Lima for a start, and those people seemed nice. They’re on vacation just like us- they’re probably so damn relaxed they couldn’t give a shit what paring we are. But also...you are an equal Kurt. You’re nearly eighteen- you’ve changed so much from the shy innocent fifteen year old I first met.”

“In a good way?”

“In the best way. You’ve lost a lot of your hang ups but kept the things that make you, you. You’re still shy and sweet. I know just how to make you blush...but you also know just how to make me fall apart. You’ve become older, more mature. Physically as well as emotionally. And so ridiculously sexy it’s unreal,” he says breathing into Kurt’s ear hotly. “Remember when you were in that club? And you were wearing eyeliner?”

“Yes,” Kurt breathes, moving into Blaine’s caress of his neck. 

“I wanted to kiss you. That was the first time that my lust for you became apparent to me. Before that I was aware that I wanted to be around you- that I felt complete with you by my side but when I saw you dressed like that, with your hair all done, and those eyes....fuck, those eyes....I just....I suddenly realized that you were a sex god in the making. I wasn’t wrong.”

“Blaine please.” Kurt doesn’t know what he’s saying please for, whether he’s trying to rebuff Blaine’s compliment, ask for more, or whether it is in fact a desperate plea for sex as he finds himself becoming more and more turned on. 

“I mean every word,” Blaine says as he pushes him down into the sand. “I just wanted to pin you to the nearest wall and kiss you until I couldn’t breathe.”

“Oh god...yes...do it,” Kurt cries as Blaine nudges at his throat with his nose, making him throw his head back with a moan.

“I think we should take this inside,” he whispers before dropping a soft, teasing kiss to the hollow of his throat. “Before we get sand in places that we really don't want sand.”

“No...just...I dunno,” Kurt whimpers as he tries to pull Blaine on top of him. “Just grind against me or something...”

“No,” Blaine chuckles softly as he pulls Kurt to his feet. “Come on my little sex fiend. The night is young and ours for exploring.”

“Exploring each other?”

“Of course.”

“With tongues?”

“Always.”


	34. Chapter 34

“Here.” Kurt turns in the darkness to find Blaine holding a bright pink flower out to him. 

“Is that a hibiscus?” he asks, taking it with a broad smile. 

“I think so.”

“Are you supposed to be picking those?”

“Don’t know, don’t care. It’s beautiful like you, and I want you to have it,” Blaine says as he pulls open the doors to their room. 

“Leave the doors open,” Kurt says as he pulls Blaine’s hands away. “We can lie in bed and watch the ocean.”

“But anyone can walk past,” Blaine protests. 

“We’re at the end of the row. They’re not likely to.” He pulls his t-shirt over his head and falls onto the bed. “Come lie with me.”

They lie side by side on their stomachs, looking out over the water. Kurt twirls the hibiscus absent mindedly in his fingers and Blaine buries his feet in the pillows behind them as he turns to study Kurt’s profile. Taking the flower from him, he trails it gently over Kurt’s back, enjoying the way it makes him shudder. 

“How do I love thee?” he says, voice barely above a whisper. “Let me count the ways...”

Kurt smiles, but says nothing as Blaine turns onto his side and props himself up on one elbow. He kisses Kurt’s cheek briefly then carries on running the flower over Kurt’s skin, trailing it over his shoulders and down his arms. 

“I love your eyes. The way they sparkle when you laugh, and I love that I can look into them and know exactly what you’re thinking. I love your face. I love that for the rest of my life I will get to gaze upon it every day. The way your nose scrunches up when you laugh, which I think is cute and you think is silly. Your lips, whether they be rose pink or deep cherry red, the way they join with mine so perfectly and feel so good against my skin. The way they curve into the softest hint of a smile or an all out grin. The way they stretch around my cock,” he breathes- laughing at the small whimper Kurt emits. “Your dimples....god how I love your dimples. Your beautiful skin, so smooth, so flawless. Your neck,” he pauses to kiss under Kurt’s jaw, running his tongue out briefly to taste his skin and making Kurt’s breath hitch. 

“Your neck is my weakness. I love that you’ve grown so tall, you stand so strong- and my head fits perfectly into the crook of it, like it was planned that way all along. The curve of it, the way the tendons and muscles move under your skin as you turn. The way it sometimes holds marks to remind you of me- that I love you and that we give ourselves to one another.” Laughing, he pulls back as Kurt tries for a kiss and he moves to sit astride his back instead. 

“Your hair,” he says, running his fingers through it and smiling as Kurt groans and lets his head fall forward. “It gets higher every day, and I love that you take such pride in it...but I like it best when it’s wet, and falling into your eyes, or sleep mussed and standing up in a hundred different directions.”

He leans down and kisses the very top of Kurt’s spine, right between his shoulder blades as Kurt himself lies flat on the bed, head turned to one side as he relaxes under the warm touches. "Your body," he continues, voice beginning to turn sultry as he runs his hands almost reverently over Kurt's back. "Where do I even begin with your body? Perfection personified I guess, and that doesn't even begin to do it justice. Mmmm." Kissing across his shoulders and along the top of his arms, all of Blaine's words are punctuated with the soft sound of lips on warm skin as he moves over him. 

"Your arms...which still need to hold me up against a wall by the way." He pauses as Kurt chuckles beneath him. "Your arms are glorious. Your shoulders and chest so strong and masculine yet so delicate and refined. It's a heady mix, and one which I will never be able to get enough of. I remember the first time you let me take your shirt off. I nearly came in my pants right there and then."

"You did come in your pants," Kurt points out.

"Yes, but I did manage to grind a little with you first. Anyway. Be quiet and let me seduce you," he laughs with more kisses down his spine. "Where were we? Ah yes. Chest, back, shoulders....and this ridiculously perfect waist. Hips which jut out wonderfully for me to hold onto, to bite and suck marks on and which create the most glorious treasure lines for my tongue to delve into."

"Blaine...." His name on Kurt's lips comes out as a strangled moan and Blaine feels fluttering a of pleasure as he notices Kurt rutting against the sheets. "I am so ridiculously turned on right now."

"Feet!" Blaine says, moving to them and artfully dodging the kick Kurt aims his way. 

"Tease," he grumbles.

"Toes." 

"No. The last time you tried to suck my toes I nearly gave you a black eye."

"True. Ankles then," Blaine says, voice growling low again and becoming thick with desire as he kisses each one. "Calves, ticklish backs of knees," he laughs as he kisses there and Kurt squirms helplessly. "Thighs...your thighs....." He reaches under Kurt and finds the button on his shorts, popping it and pulling them down, grinning when he finds nothing underneath. "Oh you bad boy Kurt Hummel. You bad, bad boy." Kissing each buttock lightly, his runs the flower over his thighs and ass, resisting the overwhelming urge to pin his lover to the bed and just watch him take it, wanting to draw the teasing out for as long as possible instead. "I love your thighs. I love them best when they're wrapped around my waist of course, when you're open beneath me as I move inside you."

"Oh my god Blaine....please touch me, please." 

"Which brings me onto this," he says as he runs the flower slowly over the crack of Kurt's ass, watching as he rises slightly from the bed to try and chase after it. "So ripe, so perfect....just waiting for me."

"Fuck....Blaine.....yes. Yes."

"Your ass feels so good in my hands, Kurt," Blaine growls. He kneels between Kurt's legs, hurriedly removing his own clothes and biting his lip hard to keep from touching himself as the flower falls to the floor, forgotten.

"Are you naked?"

"Hmm, yes. But so are you, and that's what I really want to concentrate on right now." He falls to nuzzle his face against Kurt's butt, kissing where the tops of his legs meet the perfectly round cheeks, surprised but pleased when Kurt draws his knees up under himself- effectively opening his ass to Blaine's mouth. "Yeah?"

"Yes. Please, Blaine. Please," Kurt's voice is almost broken with want and he lets out a guttural moan as he feels Blaine's tongue move down his crack. "Oh holy shit," gripping the sheets tightly, he moves closer to Blaine's face, who laughs darkly and holds him in place.

"Patience," Blaine whispers before running his tongue over him again. Slowly, teasingly, he works his tongue over Kurt's entrance, making his knees tremble as soft whimpers and groans fall from his lips. And then he pushes inside. 

"Jesus, fuck!" Kurt yells, then becomes mindful of the open door and tries to stifle his noise by burying his face in the comforter as Blaine's tongue stretches him as much as possible before he slides one finger in alongside. He buries himself in Kurt, the taste, the touch, the smell of his boyfriend engulfs all his senses as he grips his ass tightly in an effort to keep from touching himself. Pretty soon he has Kurt writhing on two of his fingers and his tongue, moaning wantonly and begging for more. He pulls out, letting Kurt fall flat onto the bed for a moment as he grabs the lube from the nightstand. 

"Oh god," Blaine moans as he coats himself, then drapes himself over Kurt's back. "Just...push yourself up a little, but not onto all fours. That's it," he says as Kurt pushes his ass up slightly. Blaine slides in with ease, arms holding him up either side of Kurt's back as they both still for a moment.

"I love being inside you...." Blaine manages to get out as he starts to move. "I love you being inside me. I love the way we.....fuck....move together. I love feeling you around me." Reaching one arm up and under to Kurt's chest, he holds him tight against him, moving them slightly onto their sides as he drives as deep as he can. "Everything is you....it's all....just....so fucking perfect Kurt....oh god." He pauses to drop kisses over Kurt's back before he angles his legs just so, and Kurt becomes an incoherent babbling mess.

"Blaine, Blaine! Fuck...yes...yes...just...ohmygod...there....yes, fuck!"

"I love your cock," Blaine says into his now damp and sweaty neck. Taking him in hand, he strokes in time with his thrusts as he speaks. "It's perfect. Made for me...made for my hand, my mouth...made to fit my ass. Come for me, Kurt....oh fuck. Come for me." 

They reach their climax at the same time, clutching onto each other as best they can, bodies melding together as they moan loudly then lay panting, too blissful to even think about moving as they come down from their high. 

"That's not all," Blaine says after a long while. 

"Hmm?"

He pulls out carefully, letting Kurt roll onto his back where he can hover over him and offer a long kiss which Kurt happily returns. 

"I love kissing you," Blaine smiles as he gazes down at him fondly. "Only you could make me come undone from kisses alone. You kiss me softly, you kiss me tenderly. You kiss me with love and affection or you pin me against a wall and kiss me rough, hard, deep and long. You always know what kisses I need. Your lips respond to mine perfectly, and each kiss is more beautiful than the last." They kiss again, tongues joining happily as Kurt runs his fingers into the tangle of sweaty curls, eventually pulling Blaine down into his embrace. 

"And that's just your physical attributes," Blaine says into the silence as he nuzzles affectionately into Kurt's neck.

"Are you ever going to stop talking?"

"Nope," he grins against his skin, making Kurt laugh as he feels it. "You're funny, smart, kind, caring.   
You make me laugh more than anyone I've ever known- our senses of humor match perfectly. You're so quick witted, your mind is so sharp. I love your sass, your spark- which is offset so wonderfully by your innocence. The way you care for others, the way you roll your eyes at Finn then your face softens and I can see just how much you love him. The way Rachel and Santana fight over you like two first graders arguing over a doll, and then you make up your own mind anyway. The love and affection you have for your dad and Carole. The ambitions, dreams, hopes and aspirations you hold. The way you pick yourself up time and time again and hold your head high. But the thing I love about you most of all," he says, moving to rest his arms on Kurt's chest so he can stare into his eyes, "above all else....is the way you love me." 

"I love your huge dick," Kurt says, making Blaine roar with laughter as Kurt rolls him over to fall on top of him. "Blaine...you make me so happy. Thank you. Not only for the great sex," he says, placing one finger over Blaine's lips as he tries to speak. "But thank you for all you said, and for loving me as you do. Know that it will always be enough for me. As long as I have your love I know I'll be okay. And now I want to sleep."

"I can do that," Blaine says as they revert to the right way around on the bed. He hops out to close the doors before finding his way back into Kurt's arms. "Kurt...."

"Hmm?" he answers sleepily. 

"When we were having sex...did anyone walk past? I can't say I was looking. My vision was somewhat obscured for a long time." 

Kurt laughs. "I don't know. I was distracted. I guess we'll find out if we get strange looks or glares at breakfast." 

"We'll be asked to leave." 

"I'm ruining you," Kurt says proudly.

"Yes. Totally your fault."

"My flower!" Kurt cries as he spies it on the floor. He picks it up tenderly, padding to the bathroom where he puts it in a glass of water. "There. Now every time you pee you can be reminded of rimming me." 

"I don't even know where to begin with that statement," Blaine laughs. "Too tired. But suffice to say I will never forget it."

"The rimming? Or peeing? Cause if you forget to pee...."

"Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"Go to sleep."

"Grumpy old man," Kurt teases lightly as he runs his fingers down Blaine's spine. "G'night."

 

"You go golden in the sun," Blaine observes as they lounge on the beach the next day. "Not red, or tan, but golden. Only Kurt Hummel could manage it," he smiles. 

Kurt lowers his sunglasses to look down at his chest. "Hawaiian sun must agree with me," he muses. "Usually I burn."

"It's the same sun though." 

"Really Blaine? You do surprise me."

They while away an entire afternoon in this way, sunbathing side by side and sharing occasional bits of banter which make them smile. Eventually Kurt stretches, sets his book down and tugs Blaine into the ocean on the pretence of swimming, but in reality as soon as Blaine surfaces, shaking water from his curls which then trails down his chest enticingly, Kurt is upon him. 

"I need to kiss you," he says by way of explanation as his arms rest lightly over Blaine's shoulders. 

"I'm not complaining," he grins, eagerly accepting Kurt's mouth on his. 

"How are you real?" Kurt murmurs happily as Blaine kisses into the hollow of his throat. "How do I want you all the time?"

"Because you're a horny teenager," Blaine states. 

"It's not just the sex..." Becoming distracted for a moment by Blaine grinding against him under the water, he sighs contentedly before remembering what he was saying. "It's not! It's more than that. It's this need to touch you if you're within reach. To hear your voice, see your smile or feel your lips on mine. It's you. I want you. Do I make any sense? I'm not as eloquent as you." 

"You make perfect sense," Blaine reassures. "And you are beautifully eloquent. Apart from when I'm rimming you it appears, and then your usual class seems to be replaced by cursing and repeated use of the word yes."

"You'll pay for that," Kurt laughs as he wrestles with him in the water. 

"Don't even try," Blaine laughs back as Kurt tries to dunk him. "You won't win. I may be small but I'm strong." 

"You're not small," Kurt quips with a wink, and Blaine sees his chance. Diving under the water, he pulls Kurt's legs from under him and hears a satisfying splash. They both surface, hair plastered to their heads and laughing as Kurt turns around and gestures to his back. 

"Hop on."

"Why?" Blaine asks, even as he climbs onto his back. "Where are you taking me?"

"Back to my lair," Kurt replies and sets off towards their hut.

"Excuse me!" a voice calls and he turns, Blaine still on his back to see a man approaching holding a small girl by the hand. 

"Put me down," Blaine says in Kurt's ear.

"No. I'm sick and tired of trying to hide things so bullies don't notice me," Kurt says as he tightens his grip on Blaine's thighs. "We're on vacation. We've done nothing wrong and we are just as entitled as he is to enjoy our time here." 

"Hi," the man has reached them now, and shields his eyes as he looks up to Blaine and back to Kurt. "Sorry to bother you," he says in a crisp British accent. "My name is Jonathan and this is my daughter, Alice. My wife," he says gesturing back down the beach, "told me I should leave you alone, but the thing is, I'm a photographer. I've been watching you two in the water, and you look so good together....I was wondering if I could possibly take a couple of shots quickly? Not for anything dodgy," he adds quickly. "I'm trying to expand my portfolio, and I think you guys would be a great addition."

"What kind of pictures would you have in mind?" Blaine asks warily. 

"Most specifically this," he answers, framing them with his hands. But a few others as well. You just seem so happy." 

"We are," Blaine says proudly. 

"We won't be, if you don't get off my back in the next ten seconds," Kurt grumbles. "My legs are about to give out."

Blaine jumps down and introduces himself properly, and beams as he also introduces Kurt. 

"My camera is just in my room," the man says, gesturing towards the hut next to theirs. "I'll be really quick."

"That's your room? We're right next door," Kurt smiles. 

"Oh, so it was you two!" the photographer exclaims. "Don't worry. Alice is a very heavy sleeper." 

He dashes up the beach, balancing the little girl on his hip as Kurt and Blaine stare at each other in astonishment before dissolving into laughter. "Doors shut tonight," Blaine says as he presses his face against Kurt's cheek. 

"Definitely. And he's not a bigoted asshole, so it makes no sense to piss him off I guess."

"Excellent!" 

They both startle apart at the sound of Jonathan's voice and a camera shutter, but he soon urges Blaine back to Kurt's side. 

"And now could you just jump on Kurt's back quickly?"

"Uh...I don't really want...um...photos of me with my chest on display like that," Kurt says shyly. "It's not...I don't...look like him," he says, gesturing to Blaine.

"But you're beautiful," Blaine whispers as he cups his face tenderly. "How about we take it in turns? We're good at that." His wink has Kurt laughing again and with reassurances from Jonathan that he will delete whatever Kurt doesn't like, he lets Blaine jump onto his back once more as the camera clicks away. He takes a few more shots of them in the water, playing as they had been when he first spotted them, and some under the shade of the palm trees. Eventually he announces he's done and shakes both their hands. 

"I really can't thank you enough," he says happily. "Let us buy you dinner tonight at least." 

"We can't tonight," Kurt says, cutting off Blaine before he can accept. "We have plans, but we could do tomorrow?" 

"Sure," Jonathan smiles. "I hear tomorrow night is hula night in the bar anyway, so we could go make fools of ourselves at that after dinner, if you'd like." 

"Blaine would like, I'll be the epitome of class as always," Kurt jokes as they say their goodbyes and walk the short distance to their hut. 

"We have plans tonight? I'll dance the hula tomorrow? Who is this sassy monster and what have you done with my Kurt?"

Kurt throws open the doors and tugs Blaine inside by his waistband. "You love my sass, your Kurt is always ready and waiting, you'll drink too many cocktails and think the hula is a good idea and yes.... We do have plans." 

"What plans?" Blaine asks as he pushes himself against Kurt, alerting him to his growing arousal. 

"They'll be out at dinner...." Kurt says as he rummages in the nightstand. "So I thought it would be the perfect time to have a little fun. I got us a gift," he says with a devilish gleam, as he hands a bag to Blaine, who peeks inside.

"Holy shit!"


	35. Chapter 35

"I can't believe you did this!" Blaine cries as he empties the bag onto the bed. His eyes go wide as he takes in the handcuffs, the blindfold, the cock ring, plug and two different vibrators. "Fuck! Are you trying to kill me?" 

"We don't have to use it all at once," Kurt says calmly as he sits on the bed. 

"Good. Cause I certainly wouldn't survive. Is this...is this a plug?"

"Yeah," Kurt says, and he does look slightly embarrassed as he watches Blaine sizing it up in his palm. "I thought...maybe you'd wear it for me some time."

"It's got a jewel in it," Blaine says as he examines it closely. 

"That's not...um that's not the end you put inside you," Kurt says with a nervous laugh.

"You had all this delivered to your house?" Blaine asks incredulously. 

"Um no. I didn't want my dad to ask what the package was. No, I had it shipped to Wes." 

"Wes."

"Yes."

"Wes, as in my best friend, Wes?"

"Yes."

"Either you or him- or both of you- are insane. How in the world did you get him to agree to that? And why not Santana?"

"Because she may not have any morals, but she still lives with her mom. Wes is the only person I know apart from you who lives alone. Or Sebastian- but he'd probably use them."

"Wasn't Wes embarrassed?" 

"Excruciatingly so, but so was I. The whole conversation was very awkward. I wouldn't explain what it was I was ordering, he thought it was illegal, so then I told him. I think by then he was just so relieved he agreed to anything."

"I'll never live this down," Blaine murmurs as he absentmindedly runs his hand over a blue dildo. "Ooh! Shit! What did I do?" He cries as he drops the now vibrating toy onto the bed.

"You turned it on," Kurt laughs as he fumbles for the dial. "Blaine.... Are you okay with all this?" he asks seriously as he takes his hands in his. 

"Yes," he nods firmly. "I really am. I'm just.....You know me."

"You worry about things that you really don't need to."

"Yes. But.... I really do want to try."

"What do you want to try?" Kurt asks, moving one hand to clasp Blaine's thigh firmly. 

"What you said that time," he says quietly, flushing pink. "A-about you sucking me."

"With this in you?" Kurt asks, holding the blue dildo. 

"Um...I think. Yes," Blaine answers, shorts already growing tight at the thought. 

"I control both," Kurt says decisively. "This one and the bullet. The bullet has a remote control so if I wanted..." he says as he teases his fingers along Blaine's waistband, "I could put it inside you, sit back and watch." 

"Fuck," Blaine breathes. He tackles Kurt back onto the bed, "Let's hope it's a long dinner." Kissing him hungrily, he soon divests them both of their shorts and sighs happily as their cocks press together and Kurt instinctively wraps his legs around his waist to draw him closer. 

"Take me Kurt," Blaine whines into his mouth, and Kurt finds himself more aroused than ever before as he realizes Blaine is giving him complete control.

"Yes." One simple word, a confirmation is all it takes for the atmosphere to change, to become heavy with lust and desire as Kurt tugs Blaine to his feet. "Stand there," he says firmly before he fetches the dildo and lube. 

"Let me touch you," Blaine tries, reaching for his hips but Kurt is resolute.

"No. I wanna bring you right to the edge. Right to the edge and back again until you're begging, and then I'm gonna fuck you. Hard." 

"That won't take long," Blaine laughs lightly as he watches Kurt calmly smearing lube down the long steel shaft.

"It will take as long as I say, Blaine." Kurt lifts his head to look at him, one eyebrow arched making Blaine swallow and nod eagerly. “So this is fairly slim...” Kurt muses as he trails it along Blaine’s crack, kissing his shoulder as he does so. “So it should...”

“Fucking hell!” Blaine yells loudly, falling forward as Kurt pushes the toy straight inside him. Clutching the back of an armchair for support, Blaine breathes heavily as his body tries to adjust to the sudden burning pain.

“You okay, sweetie?” Kurt asks as he rubs calming circles over his lower back. 

“Yeah I just...I just...don’t turn it on yet, whatever you do.”

“Tell me when you’re ready.”

“Try moving it a little,” Blaine suggests, and as the toy begins to slide in and out of his tight ass he groans loudly with pleasure. “Yeah...that feels good.”

“Okay, I’m gonna switch it on now,” Kurt warns. 

“Oh my fucking christ,” Blaine moans, “Shit that’s...”

“Good?”

“Yeah.”

Kurt moves the vibrator in and out, slowly at first- mesmerized by the way Blaine’s hole stretches around it and the way his whole body tremors in pleasure when Kurt turns up the vibrations. It is all too tempting for his tongue to work it's way around his entrance as best Kurt can, and if the reaction from Blaine is anything to go by, it's a welcome addition. 

"Oh fuck Kurt, yes. Yes! Just....eat me, take me...fuck!" he cries, an incoherent wreck as he babbles aimlessly. Moving his hand to his cock, he groans when Kurt bashes his fingers away, breaking off to tell him no touching before returning his tongue to Blaine's ass.

"I wanna come already," Blaine whines. 

"No."

"Please?" 

"No." Kurt's voice is muffled but strong. "Put your hands back on the chair." And Blaine follows the command until he is trembling so hard from his desperation that Kurt pulls away. 

“Comfortable?” he asks with a kiss to each ass cheek. 

“Not the word I’d use,” Blaine gasps out as Kurt fucks the toy into him harder and faster. “Insanely turned on and desperate for you to ram your cock into me, would be a more accurate phrase.”

“Not yet,” Kurt chuckles. “I’m gonna suck you.” 

“Fuck, yes,” Blaine says as Kurt turns to face him. They kiss heatedly, tongues and teeth clashing as they jostle for dominance, with Kurt winning out. “Can I come on your face?” Blaine blurts. 

“You can come when I say,” is Kurt’s cool reply as he falls back to his knees and runs his tongue slowly around the head of Blaine’s dick. Holding the toy in place, he sucks gently on the head as Blaine's scrambled mind tries to decide between pushing forward into Kurt's mouth or backward onto the toy. 

"Oh god Kurt..I...this is so good. Fuck. You suck me so well." 

"Hmm, you look so pretty Blaine," Kurt murmurs affectionately as he nudges his face against the base of his cock. "I told you you would. So pretty with the dildo fucking your tight ass while I suck your dick." He goes back to it, taking him deeper than he ever has before as Blaine's knees threaten to give out underneath him and he stumbles to fall back against the wall with a thud. Kurt pushes the dildo further inside and turns the dial right up, smiling around Blaine's cock as he screams. He keeps up with a relentless pace, sucking Blaine deep into the heat of his mouth and running his tongue over his shaft as Blaine grips his hair tightly. 

"Oh god Kurt please," Blaine begs desperately. "Please let me come, please."

Kurt pulls off, swollen lips resting close to the tip of Blaine's cock as he looks up at him. "Come," he commands and that's all it takes as Blaine comes all over his cheeks and lips, gasping, heaving and bent almost double as he clutches Kurt's shoulders for support. 

"Fuck Kurt, just...fuck...I...the vibrator....turn it off," he whimpers. Kurt pulls the toy out of him and lets Blaine fall to the floor in a boneless heap where he kisses him tenderly and Blaine kisses over his come splashed cheeks.

"My man," Kurt coos. "So good for me. You took that so well. Wanna take my cock?"

"Now?" Blaine asks in disbelief.

"Right now. Stand up for me." 

"I can't."

"You can," Kurt answers firmly as he pulls him to his feet. "I believe someone once expressed a desire to be fucked against the wall."

Blaine lets out a strangled moan, torn between wanting to beg for mercy and really, really wanting Kurt to take him as hard as he can- which of course wins out in the end. He slumps with his back against the wall as Kurt leans in, crowding against him with his arms one either side of his head. Kissing him hard and rough, Blaine senses a raw urgency in his touch which spurs him to life once more, grabbing Kurt's ass and pulling him close before scraping his nails over his back. He bites into the soft flesh at the base of Kurt's neck, earning a deep moan as Kurt grinds against him. Falling to his knees, Blaine sucks Kurt's cock, taking him deep and urging him to use his hair as leverage. 

"Hmm, you love having your face fucked don't you?" Kurt says darkly as his fingers tangle tight into dark curls. "Love having your hair pulled, me using your mouth."

There is no answer other than a contented hum from Blaine, which almost sends Kurt over the edge completely. He pulls back, forcing Blaine to his feet once more and encouraging one of his legs around his waist. 

"Lets see how this goes then," he says against Blaine's neck, which is damp with sweat and makes Kurt almost delirious with want as he drives deep inside.

"Fuck! Holy shit, Kurt! Lube man, lube!"

"Nah, we're good."

"We're not," Blaine cries as his whole body seems to erupt in fire. "You're much bigger than that vibrator." 

"Good," Kurt smiles before kissing him tenderly. "Just go with it Blaine. It's tight....so tight." 

"But..."

"Feels so good around me Blaine," Kurt moans as he slowly begins to move.

"Shit..." Blaine hisses as his fingers dig sharply into Kurt's back. 

"Do you wanna stop?" Kurt asks sweetly. "We can."

"No...it's...it hurts but it's good. So fucking good."

He arches his neck to allow Kurt access to his throat as he feels his cock growing hard again, rubbing tight between them as Kurt drives into him. One arm grips Blaine's waist tightly, the other holds them against the wall as Kurt picks up the pace, the sweat coursing down their chests providing just the right amount of wetness to allow their bodies to slide easily against one another. 

"Blaine...I just...fuck... You're so tight and perfect. So beautiful. I love you."

"Love...you...too," Blaine manages to gasp out, yelping slightly as Kurt pulls his other leg up and holds the pair of them against the wall. "Oh my god!" Blaine can't help the laugh of surprise that escapes him, and Kurt smiles too as he tries to fuck into him as best he can. 

"Come for me Blaine. Let me feel you come around my cock." 

"Kurt!" He comes with a shout of his lovers name, breathing hard as he rides out the longest orgasm he's ever known- prolonged by Kurt driving as deep as he can as his cock pulses repeatedly. Biting into his neck, Kurt's yell is muffled, punctuated by soft kisses until eventually his knees give out and he sinks to the floor, with Blaine falling in a heap beside him. 

"Fuck," Blaine breathes.

"Yeah." 

Pulling him in for a sloppy, lazy kiss, Kurt cradles Blaine's head tenderly against his chest while they both come down from their highs before he lets Blaine move to the bathroom- albeit very reluctantly. 

"I'm so hungry now," Kurt tells him when he returns. Climbing onto the bed, he scans the room service menu and tries not to laugh at the way in which Blaine hobbles across the room. 

"Me too. Although whatever you order needs to be able to be eaten while lying on my stomach. I won't sit for a week." 

"You're dancing the hula tomorrow don't forget," Kurt laughs as Blaine flops down beside him.

"You're dancing with me in that case. Fuck, Kurt. You are one kinky bastard." 

"Was it too much? Did I hurt you?" Setting the menu down, he scoots up close, nudging his face against Blaine's cheek as he plays with his hair. 

"No. Stop worrying. I loved it. I've never been taken like that... Owned. And...yeah. You're damn good at it." 

"And the vibrator?"

"Felt fucking fantastic. I can't wait to use it on you."

"What about the rest?"

"I think we're pretty much up for anything, don't you?"

"Except sharing."

"Oh my god no. No sharing. We belong to each other. And no voyers either for that matter. You're too damn hot. They'd all want you, and then I'd get jealous...."

"Jealous Blaine," Kurt muses. "Hmmm. I could live with that," he laughs as Blaine tries to tickle him. "I want to try that plug," he whispers into his ear.

"Now? I don't think..."

"Not now, you fool," Kurt says affectionately. "At your age I don't think you could handle the excitement. But soon."

"And not for the hula dancing either," Blaine states. 

"Oh Blaine," Kurt laughs happily. "You should not have put that idea into my head."


	36. Chapter 36

"Because he looks prettier in a lei than I do sweetheart," Kurt answers little Alice as she sits happily on his knee. 

"He dances funny," the little girl says, scrunching up her nose as she watches Blaine attempting to dance a hula with a line of hotel guests. 

"That's because your daddy keeps plying him with cocktails," he says knowledgably. "I think he's on his fourth. That may not sound like a lot, but they're deadly."

"What's deadly?"

"The way your daddy is dancing right now." Kurt turns to find Teresa, Jonathan's wife, smiling next to them. "Have you had a nice evening?" she asks Kurt politely. 

"The absolute best," Kurt smiles happily. "This whole vacation...being here...meeting you guys...it's just amazing. I know I'm not gonna want to leave." 

"Oh I know. It's back to dreary old Hampshire for us. Actually it's not dreary at all just... Not Hawaii. What's Lima like?"

"Not Hawaii." Kurt smiles ruefully. "Small minded, bigoted, mean, scornful....I could go on."

"Wow."

"I do have friends," Kurt adds as he twirls the straw in his glass. "Really dear friends, as does Blaine. But it's just.... Not really an entirely welcoming place for a gay couple."

"Why do you stay then?" she asks as she moves her chair closer. "Why not just up sticks and move to California, or New York? Somewhere more accepting."

"We will, next year. To New York I hope. I want to go to NYADA to study musical theater."

"Why next year? Why not now?"

"Because my dad would kill me if I didn't graduate high school," Kurt laughs.

"Pardon?"

"Um...I'm still in school. I'm seventeen- about to enter my senior year."

"Oh my goodness, now I feel old," Teresa laughs. "I had no idea. I just assumed you were a college grad. So...where does Blaine fit in all this?"

"Ha! You really wanna know? You might be shocked."

"Oh come on. I'm English. You've seen the Royal Family. Nothing can shock me."

Kurt laughs, setting Alice on her feet who runs eagerly to Jonathan and Blaine- now dancing in a conga line. "Okay so... We met when I was fifteen."

"Cute!" Teresa claps her hands excitedly.

"Yeah. We were both...I don't know. Pulled toward each other I guess. We just...knew. Knew there was something between us from the second our eyes locked. But then Blaine refused to date me because of my age and we went through months of dancing around each other, with Blaine letting his conscience be his guide, and me being a sulky, surly teenager. Then my dad had a massive heart attack. He lived," he adds hurriedly. "But it was touch and go. Blaine was my absolute rock. We got to know each other better, without all the silly games and pretences because I was at my lowest point, my most vulnerable and Blaine...Blaine was just there. With the right words, the right smile, the right arms...and then he did the cutest thing ever. He went to my dad to ask permission to date me." Kurt smiles indulgently and blows a kiss to Blaine, who raises a glass of iced water in return. 

"That is cute. He's a real gentleman."

"He really is. He's had to wait for so much," he clears his throat awkwardly before carrying on. "But one year. One more year and we can escape." 

"You must have very understanding parents, to let you fly off on vacation with your boyfriend."

"I do. My dad and stepmom adore Blaine. He has the funniest relationship with my dad."

"And what about his parents?"

"They're lovely. His mom calls everyone darling be they one or one hundred. She talks incessantly and usually manages to embarrass Blaine in some way without meaning to." He smiles fondly as he thinks of the Andersons and how much they have come to mean to him. 

"And they're supportive of you two, I take it?"

"Oh yes. Completely."

"So what will Blaine study?"

"Study?"

"At college," Teresa clarifies.

"Oh!...I might have missed one thing out about Blaine and I. He's thirty two."

"Oh I see," Teresa nods her understanding. "That's quite a gap. I'm glad it's worked out for you. Well for the record, I'm thirty four and Jonathan is thirty seven. Alice is five. Now everyone's ages are out of the way I think we can carry on with the rest of our evening, don't you?"

"Thank you," Kurt whispers gratefully.

"Come on," she pulls him to his feet and kisses his cheek. "If you can't beat them, join them I guess."

"Heyyyy, sexy baby," Blaine trills as he slings a lei around Kurt's neck and pulls him closer. 

"Someone's drunk," he notes dryly.

"I'm not too bad. Just a little light headed. You okay?"

"I'm perfect. I might join you in a cocktail actually."

"I'm on water now," Blaine says with a hint of pride. "I don't want to get too sloppy. I'll get you one though," he says as he drags him to the bar. 

An hour later and they're still dancing, though their hula has changed into pressing their bodies together and swaying gently to the music as the dance floor slowly empties. Jonathan arrives, Alice fast asleep on his shoulder and thanks them for a lovely evening. 

"It was such fun," Teresa says from his side. "We're going on a boat trip tomorrow if you'd like to join us?"

"Sure," they both agree readily, then say their goodnights. 

As they walk back to their hut later that evening, Kurt relays his conversation to Blaine, smiling as Blaine laughs. 

"What's funny?"

"Just that Jonathan said the same. I was kinda embarrassed. We talked about his job, and then mine, then he asked what you do for a living, so I just told him that you were still in school, and fifteen years my junior. He congratulated me," he grins proudly. "Then he said it didn't really matter, they both liked us and could see we were well suited."

"I like them a lot."

"Me too. And Alice is cute."

"They're our first couple friends," Kurt says excitedly.

"They are." Unlocking the door, Blaine ushers Kurt into the room where the conversation stops abruptly as they fall into one another's arms. "God I miss this," Blaine moans as his hands smooth over Kurt's arms. "Just holding you when no one is watching is so much better than holding you in a crowded room." 

They kiss leisurely, neither one pushing for more as they lie on the bed in each others arms. Kurt enjoys running his hands through Blaine's hair as he lets his tongue explore his mouth before he breaks away with a gasp. 

"Oh god. Kissing you is such a turn on," he smiles, running a finger along his strong jaw. "You are so incredibly sexy, you know that? I wish you'd let me try that plug though," he teases.

"How many cocktails did you have?"

"One," Kurt laughs as he pulls him closer again. "I'm only teasing you. But I just love feeling your mouth on mine. It's incredible. You're incredible."

Kisses are shared until they fall into a deep, blissed out sleep. Their boat trip the next day is idyllic. They spend time diving from the boat into the deep sea, holding Alice as she splashes contentedly in the water and holding each other as they watch the fish swimming between their legs. By the time they return to the island a firm friendship has been established between the four, with promises made to keep in touch. Blaine opens his mouth to say see you at dinner, but Kurt interrupts, teasing that plans have been made- which makes Blaine's eyes go wide as Teresa laughs loudly. 

"What plans? I've only just recovered," Blaine says as they walk to their room, but there's a spark of arousal which shoots through him as he hooks his chin over Kurt's shoulder while he fumbles with the key. 

"Dinner plans," Kurt says simply. "Don't panic." 

"I wasn't." He grins as he walks backward towards the bathroom, beckoning with his finger. "It's not dinner time yet." 

"Blaine!" Kurt feigns shocked innocence, smiling as he hears Blaine's laugh from the bathroom. 

"Oh look Kurt, we can lie in the tub and watch the ocean," he calls back- then turns the taps on and waits. Sure enough, within seconds a naked Kurt arrives, eagerly slipping into his embrace and kissing him lovingly.

"Hmm, I seem to remember you wanted to lie in the tub and watch me instead," he remarks as he runs his hands over Blaine's chest. 

"I'd like to lie in the tub and watch you jerk off, yes." Blaine eyes Kurt's body appreciatively while the tub fills, noting the adorably sexy way in which the flush spreads over his chest and up his neck before finally reaching his cheeks and the tips of his ears. 

"Okay then."

"What did you just say?" Blaine asks as he sits on the edge of the tub in shock. "Seriously, what?"

"I said okay. Get in the tub and I'll put on a show for you."

"Are you joking?" Kurt smirks at the way Blaine's hands grip the edge of the tub so tightly his knuckles turn white, his eyes go wide and he practically salivates while waiting for Kurt's reply. 

"I'm serious. Get in. I'll be back in a moment."

"This is like fucking Christmas!" Blaine cries happily as he climbs into the large round tub. 

Kurt returns, lube in hand and sits opposite Blaine, blocking the view of the ocean as he dangles his feet into the water. "So... You tell me what you want me to do," Kurt says, and Blaine notes the nerves in his voice which belie the confident exterior. 

"Nothing," Blaine says with a soft smile. "Get in the tub with me and let me hold you."

"What? No. You wanted..."

"I know. And I have to admit its a fantasy of mine...to watch you do that. But you're not sure. I see it in your eyes."

"But I..."

"Kurt. Get in." 

Slipping under the water, he lies against Blaine's chest, playing idly with the coarse hairs before kissing his lips softly.

"Thank you." 

Blaine kisses him back, the action conveying more than words ever could as he smoothes Kurt's hair from his eyes. 

"You're still hard," Kurt notes with a surprised look on his face. 

"Kurt. You're naked and pressed against me. What do you expect?"

"In that case..." Kurt settles at the opposite end of the tub, a playful grin on his lips as Blaine stares. "Maybe we could do this together?"

"Oh fuck...."

"Tell me why it's your fantasy, Blaine." 

Blaine keeps staring for a while, making sure Kurt seems comfortable, but he seems so much more content being in the water with Blaine, less vulnerable and on display. His foot trails along the inside of Blaine's leg, stopping to tease at the very top of his thigh before retreating slowly. 

"Because you're hot," Blaine says, clearly getting more aroused by the second. "I just...wanna see you giving pleasure to yourself. And I really want to watch your face as you come, that's the best thing." 

"Makes sense that we do this together then," Kurt states. "Because in case you didn't know, I also think you are hot, incredibly sexy and the best lover there could be." He cocks his head to one side and smiles sweetly, "and when you come I want to hear my name on your lips."

"Uncomfortable my ass," Blaine grumbles as he massages Kurt's feet under the water. 

"It will be later," he quips back. 

"I told you once before, you're an enigma. God I love you so much."

"Tell me Blaine. Tell me what to do."

"Oh fuck. Turn yourself on Kurt. But don't rush it. Go slow. I wanna see all those little sighs escaping your lips. I love the way you pull your bottom lip between your teeth and your breath hitches as I play with your nipples. Do that, Kurt."

Kurt obliges, running a wet finger teasingly over his nipples and staring at Blaine all the while, making the older man shudder in pleasure as his eyes darken.

"Fuck Kurt, you're a tease. I want to see you rub your cock..... Holy shit," he says quietly as Kurt touches himself with a moan. "This is better than Christmas."

"Do you like that Blaine?"

"Yeah," he sighs happily. "It's like our phone calls have come to life."

Smiling as he continues to stroke his cock lazily, Kurt nods in Blaine's direction. "Your turn."

Blaine groans as his hand wanders lower, prompting him to slide forward slightly to wrap his feet around Kurt's waist. "Oh god Kurt this is hot.... Watching you."

A silence falls, both trying to keep their eyes open against their impending pleasure to watch the other one, the sound of the water splashing in the tub echoing loudly in the room. It all becomes too much for Kurt, who scoots right up to Blaine, cups his face with his free hand and kisses him desperately. "It's not right...without kissing you...it's not right. Blaine, I just love you." 

"I love you too....fuck....this is so hot. I can't. I need to touch you." He wraps his own hand around Kurt's, his own pleasure forgotten for a moment as together they chase Kurt's orgasm, both moaning as he comes. His face is a picture of exquisite beauty to Blaine, who then gasps as Kurt takes him in hand and he comes almost immediately with his boyfriend's name on his lips. Falling forward, Kurt rests his head on Blaine's shoulder.

"Well that turned out better than I expected," he murmurs weakly against his neck. 

"We've ruined the bath water," Blaine laughs. "C'mon." Stepping from the bath, he pulls two fluffy towels down from the shelf and wraps Kurt in one, kissing the tip of his nose lightly. 

"I'm sorry...that I couldn't go through with that..."

"Kurt. It doesn't matter. We said this vacation was all about experimentation, well we experimented and found a way that suited us both."

"I will one day, you know."

"Of that I have no doubt," Blaine says with a grin as he holds him tight. "By the time you hit twenty one I don't think there will be anything left for us to try."

"You have high hopes, Mr. Anderson," Kurt says playfully. "Hopes which I will happily indulge." 

They dress quickly and Kurt finds himself very tempted to tear the crisp white shirt directly off Blaine the second he's put it on. It sets off his tan skin perfectly, and his whole face seems to glow with happiness as he waits for Kurt. 

"I like you in baby blue," Blaine says, running his fingers around the collar of his shirt. "It sets off your eyes."

"And I like you in white," he smiles. "Let's go."

"Wrong door," Blaine says as Kurt slides back the door leading to the beach. 

"You won't need your shoes," is Kurt's only response as he steps outside and a curious Blaine follows.

"What's all this?" Set by the waters edge is a table for two, small nightlights flickering in glass jars and places already set. 

"This is for us." Lacing their fingers together, he leads a still baffled Blaine to the table, pulling out his chair for him before he sits himself and pours them both a glass of water. "Should I have got wine?" Kurt worries out loud. "I should have got wine. Maybe..."

"Kurt. I don't need wine to enhance my time with you. Look at me." Kurt looks up demurely from under his lashes, making Blaine's heart race. They are interrupted by the arrival of a waiter, who seems to appear out of nowhere and sets down their dinner of seared tuna and retreats almost silently. "Kurt...when did you plan all this? Why did you plan all this?" he adds with half a laugh.

"You've been sleeping like the dead since we arrived," Kurt remarks with an indulgent smile in his direction.

"Because you've exhausted me every night, you minx."

"Well anyway old man, I walked up to the main building this morning and arranged it all, came back and got right back in bed beside you, and you never even noticed I'd gone." 

"Sorry."

"Don't be," Kurt smiles. "As for why?..... I love you. You make me happier than I have ever known and I just...I maybe don't always show that. I'm not as good with words as you, but it doesn't mean I don't think these things. I wanted a private, romantic dinner together to celebrate you being you, and us being us."

Smiling with tears in his eyes, Blaine stares down at his plate and clears his throat. "You didn't need to."

"No, I didn't. I wanted to. Two different things. But right now we need to eat." 

Long after the meal has finished, Blaine rests happily between Kurt's legs on the sand- his hands resting on his knees, body back against his chest. He hums contentedly as Kurt's fingers dip into the open neck of his shirt. 

"I can't wait for our future," Kurt says into the still warm air.

"This is our future," Blaine says, leaning his head back for Kurt to kiss his cheek. "Right now. Every second of every day."

"True. But this week with you is giving me a glimpse into us in five years time. And I love it." 

"It won't always be like this," Blaine points out. "Though I wish it could be."

"Oh I know," Kurt says lightly. "I know there will be bad times. I know there will be dumb arguments over whose turn it is to take the trash out, or who ate the last of the cookies..... Which will be you of course," he chuckles at the playful smack on his leg, "I know there will be times when we can't stand the sight of one another or times when we just want to shut ourselves away from the rest of the world. But I know that ultimately- for me- its all about you. And I can't wait to love you, to cherish you and care for you day after day for the rest of our lives. I promise you Blaine, that I will be forever thankful for you, and for the way in which you love me so completely. I will never take you or our love for granted, because its all I could have ever hoped for and more." 

"I thought you said you weren't good with words?" Turning in his arms, Blaine voice is hoarse with emotion as he lies half on top of Kurt and kisses him lovingly. "Everything you just said is the type of thing I've been dreaming of since I was a little boy. A happily ever after with the man of my dreams. And I can see it too, because it's happening right now. This is it for us, for both of us. And that's quite a heady enough thought for me to deal with, let alone you. But the fact that you can, that you want this as much as I do, and at only seventeen.... It just reiterates to me that we're meant to be. Let's be honest here, we haven't got an easy road ahead of us. Very soon it's going to be back to work and school- and your senior year will be damn hard work for us- hurried moments together when we have the chance. But then, when I get to watch you graduate, it will be the proudest moment of my entire life. I hope this time next year will find us lounging on a beach somewhere before you go off to college." 

Kurt says nothing, confident in his ability to change Blaine's mind in the coming year. They kiss lazily for a long time, until the sound of voices grows louder and they reluctantly part. 

"Aw, look at you two lovebirds," Jonathan calls down the beach to them. "We're going inside, don't let us stop you!" 

Blaine raises a hand in greeting, then looks to Kurt with a soft smile. "Maybe we should go inside too," he whispers. "I think tonight has been completely perfect and I want you to make love to me before I fall asleep in your arms."


	37. Chapter 37

"Come on, it'll be fun," Blaine urges as he pulls a reluctant Kurt out to the moonlit beach. 

"Blaine! I was only joking when I suggested it. The moon is really bright tonight, if anyone catches us they'll see everything."

"But it's our last night," he coaxes, pulling his shirt over his head and letting it fall to the floor. "Who cares if people happen to catch sight of the most glorious ass known to mankind?"

"That better have been me you were describing," Kurt answers haughtily, then suddenly his expression changes to one of pure devilment. "Race you." 

Blaine is out of his clothes first, but Kurt is the quicker at running as he tears down the beach, moonlight glinting off his naked body before he dives under the waves. Blaine joins him, laughing as Kurt splashes water on his face until he tackles him around his waist and pulls him into the deeper water.

"Ugh, tomorrow is going to hurt," Kurt moans as he winds his arms around Blaine's neck. "Reality sucks ass."

"Reality means your high school diploma and a big, bright future for you," Blaine says kindly. "And I think we can safely say we've made the most of every second of this vacation." Nuzzling into his neck as the water laps at their shoulders, Blaine lifts Kurt's legs and wraps them around his waist under the water. "It will suck," he admits eventually. "But know that whenever we're apart- when you're in school or I'm working- I'll be thinking of you." 

"Thinking of what position you'd like to get me in next?"

"Hey!" Blaine laughs with mock indignation. "We're allowed to have a lot of sex. You're young and virile, I'm...well...I'm getting it while I still can."

"You're not that old," Kurt smiles. "You're doing a good job of keeping up with me, anyway."

"Only because you turn me on like no other," Blaine says as he grinds against him slightly. "I go to bed thinking about you, I wake up thinking about you, and when you're there it's even worse because...because you're just there," he emphasises with a thrust. "There for me to touch, to taste...and now I'm ridiculously turned on."

"Come on, lets go back inside." Kurt makes to unwrap his legs, but Blaine holds tight to his waist and raises one eyebrow. 

"Why? No one can see us grinding a little under the water." 

"They'll notice from our facial expressions," Kurt points out, but he can't help using his heels to draw Blaine that little bit closer and rubbing their cocks together.

"Then we'll keep up polite conversation throughout," Blaine smiles. "Tell me," he pauses and grinds hard against him, feeling satisfied when Kurt bites his lip to keep from crying out. "What books will you be studying in English this year?"

"What? You're crazy."

"Tell me." Blaine's voice is low and commanding, going straight to Kurt's cock as he whimpers and thrusts against him.

"Uh...uh... The P-Picture of Dorian Gray...um....oh god.... Catcher in the R-oh! Rye...."

"Any more?" Blaine asks, acting completely innocent, and not as if he is grinding deliciously against his boyfriends aching dick just below the surface. 

"Shakespeare.... Blaine, you're really gonna fucking pay for this," he gets out through gritted teeth as they pause for a second to smile at a couple strolling along the waters edge. "The Taming of the Shrew and Much.... Ado...About... Don't fucking finger me at the same time," he snaps suddenly as Blaine laughs wickedly. "Holy shit you're just gonna carry on," he says as he bows his head momentarily onto Blaine's shoulder. "Oh god. I'm done for."

"So... Tell me," Blaine's grinding is unrelenting as he pushes two fingers into Kurt and kisses him lightly on the lips. "Much Ado... I'm guessing that's your favorite, right?"

"Yes!" Kurt's response is perhaps shouted a little too loud to be considered normal conversation, but it coincides with Blaine's fingers grazing over his prostate and he has to bite hard into his shoulder to keep from screaming.

"Favorite characters?"

"Beatrice and Benedict," Kurt moans.

"Why's that?" 

"Blaine...I'm gonna...."

"Tell my why they're your favorites."

"Because their relationship is so funny. They're always sparring with...fuck...one another and they... They... They...go out of their way to...fuck me Blaine, yes! They go out of their way to make it seem like they... Just there, oh fuck just there! Like they hate each other when really they love coming....!" Kurt cries as quietly as he can, hands splayed hard against Blaine's strong back as he shudders silently in his arms too, and the pair share a lazy, loving kiss as the sea chases away the evidence. 

"They love coming? Really, Kurt? I had no idea Shakespeare was so progressive."

"Goofball," Kurt laughs, keeping his legs wrapped around Blaine's waist and in no hurry to leave their moonlit swim. "They really love each other. As we do."

"We do," he smiles smugly. "Okay...time to put your acting skills to the test," he mutters then calls out brightly to Jonathan and Teresa. "Hi!"

"You're naked!" Teresa calls back.

"Ignore my wife!" Jonathan shouts as he returns from depositing a sleeping Alice in their room. "She's drunk."

"I'm not that drunk!" she objects. 

"What makes you say that?" Blaine asks as he draws Kurt closer. 

"Well the two pairs of shorts in the sand are a dead giveaway," she says as she holds them up. "Plus the water is completely clear. Kurt has his legs wrapped around you. I can see."

"Oh fuck," an embarrassed Kurt mumbles. 

"Don't worry about it boys!" Jonathan calls stoically. "We're going inside anyway." 

"And I have your shorts!" Teresa cries happily.

"No!" Kurt and Blaine call together, but she takes off up the beach cackling loudly. 

"Go after her," Kurt says, urging Blaine towards the shore. 

"Are you actually joking? I'm naked, in case you haven't noticed."

"She has my Brooks Brothers shorts," Kurt moans. "They're my favorite pair."

In the end they are saved by Jonathan bringing two towels down the the waters edge before catching his wife and dragging her inside apologetically. They dart from the water and back into their hut where they shower quickly before falling into bed where Kurt takes him in his arms as has become their usual routine.

"Blaine?"

"Hmm?" he answers sleepily.

"Can we come back here on our honeymoon?"

"Yes." 

Burt greets them warmly at the airport, happy to have both his boys back where he can see them- as he tells them repeatedly. He loads their cases into the trunk and then turns to them. 

"So... Which house am I driving to?"

"Uh..." Blaine stares at Kurt, suddenly uneasy as he tries to think why they didn't have this conversation on the long flight. 

"Um..." Kurt is no help either as he looks helplessly into Blaine's eyes. 

"Oh for the love of... Why don't you come to our place tonight, Blaine? It saves you having to cook or order takeout. Then tomorrow you can take Kurt back with you." 

"Yeah," Blaine grins in relief. "Thanks." 

They are too tired to do anything other than eat dinner and curl up in bed together, where they sleep until nearly noon the next day. Kurt rises first and finds Finn in the kitchen. 

"Want some of my sandwich?" he offers. 

"Uh...no thanks. I need coffee. And some for Blaine." 

"Good vacation?"

"The best," he smiles as he sits on the counter and looks down at him. "Did I miss much?" 

"I got to third base with Rachel in the movie theater," Finn says happily, as if nothing were amiss. "Santana and Brittany seem to be giving it another go, but then Britt told me she's also dating Sam so I'm not sure. Oh, and Karofsky is switching schools."

"What?"

"Yeah. Word got out that he.... Well... That he's like you, only not as good looking."

"Finn that's terrible," Kurt says in a shocked whisper.

"Dude, if I looked like you I'd spend the whole time in front of a mirror."

"No, I didn't mean..."

"I know what you mean," Finn says as he stands and puts his plate in the dishwasher. "And I feel bad for Dave that people found out the way they did. But I can't forgive him for what he put you through. Both of you have had to deal with the same issues, it didn't turn you into a bully."

"No," Kurt starts slowly as he hops down from the counter. "But think back to when I met Blaine. Think of where I was right then. Cocky, immature, waspish.... At times I've really not been a nice person to be around at all. Blaine has put up with a lot of crap from me. I've been lucky enough to be surrounded by people who love me, who are prepared to wait for me to grow and discover who I am and where I fit in..... Dave hasn't had any of that." 

"Well hopefully this new place will be better for him then," Finn says with a tight smile. "I hear it's out of town so no one will know. But he's gonna have to face up to those demons sooner or later. Either way, it gives you a clear shot at your senior year." 

"Yeah. Seniors. Can you believe it?"

"Not really. I still don't know what I want to do. You're going to New York with Rachel and Santana, Puck's going to LA.... And I'm just gonna be sitting here in Lima waiting for you all to return for the holidays."

"I'm going to New York with Blaine," Kurt corrects. 

"What? Since when?"

"Well strictly speaking, he hasn't agreed to it yet. He thinks I need to go off and have this big adventure on my own.... But I can't live without him. I just can't."

"I hope that works out for you," Finn says warily. 

"It will," Kurt says confidently. "As for you, why not come to New York?"

"Nah...not my thing, man. I wouldn't fit there. I'll think of something. But Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't force Blaine's hand. You know, the reason I won't be going with Rach is because she's bigger than me, brighter than me. She needs to become a star in her own right and she doesn't need me dragging her down. Blaine.... He's had his time and now he wants to let you have yours. Don't force him to leave everything behind, make a huge change like this. You could both end up resenting one another for it." 

"I'll resent him more if he doesn't come," Kurt points out. "I'm not like Rachel. I don't want the spotlight. I want to be with Blaine more than anything in the world. He’s my everything.” 

"Who is? Me?" Blaine asks as he pads into the kitchen. "It better be me," he smiles as he wraps his arms around Kurt from behind and nuzzles against him. "Morning, Finn."

"Morning," an embarrassed Finn mumbles. "I uh... I'd better get going. I promised Puck I'd help him go over history notes before the semester starts."

"Noah wants to study?" Kurt asks incredulously.

"We all just want to graduate," Finn smiles. "See you later. And Kurt? Think about it, yeah?"

"I will," he promises.

"Think about what?"

"The future." Kurt sighs heavily and leans back into Blaine's warm embrace. "Sometimes I wish I could go back to first grade, where the only thing I had to worry about was whether Lacy would be prepared to share me with Thomas." 

Blaine laughs softly into the crook of his neck then hoists him onto the counter so he can step between his legs. "What are you frightened of?" he asks, lovingly running his hands over Kurt's thighs. 

"Losing you," Kurt answers honestly.

"You won't. I told you."

"I know, and I know you wouldn't just end things on a whim, but this college thing... What if we can't withstand that Blaine? What if we're not strong enough?"

"We have to be," Blaine implores as his grip on Kurt's legs tightens. "I don't see any other option. We have to find a way, a compromise which means we're both happy with the end result."

"What result do you want?"

"I want you to be happy," Blaine answers simply as his eyes swim with unshed tears. 

"And for yourself?" 

"That is for myself. I want you to be happy. I want you to have room to grow and I want you to have fun. And when college is done I want to make you my husband."

"Well we're on the same page at least," Kurt smiles warmly. "Because I want happiness for you too, and after college.... Yeah. Marriage for sure. So I guess we need to keep that at the center of it all."

"We do. And we will, I'm sure. It's still almost a year away, Kurt. Let's just enjoy being together for now." 

The conversation turns to other things- namely Karofsky's transfer- and Blaine smiles as he sees the tension leaving Kurt's body. They drive back to Blaine's house later that day and set about dealing with laundry and other household chores. It makes Kurt oddly excited to push a vacuum around Blaine's house as if it were his own, and he finds himself dreaming of the future once more. The only thing he is certain of, he realizes with a smile, is that his future lies in Blaine Anderson's arms. 

"Would it be okay if Wes comes by later?" Blaine asks as he polishes the coffee table. 

"Sure."

"We could ask some others too if you want? Some of your friends? You haven't seen them all summer." 

"I've been held hostage by you, that's why," Kurt smiles. "Not that I'm complaining. I'll ask Santana, Rachel and Finn."

"Ooh. Quite the combination."

"So are we done with all the cleaning?"

"I think so, why?" 

"There's something I want to try." 

"I can't do this," Blaine moans as the doorbell goes. 

"You can. For me."

"I can't. Every time I sit down it moves in me. It's keeping me open and making me really fucking horny."

"But that's just a plug," Kurt whispers darkly as he leads him down the hall. "Think what my cock will do later."

"I won't be able to concentrate all evening."

"You'll be fine," Kurt says with an air of authority before pulling the door open and greeting their guests warmly. 

Nearly halfway through the movie and Blaine is struggling to concentrate, sweat beading on his brow as he tries time and again to get comfortable. Kurt has stayed over the other side of the room, head resting on Rachel's shoulder as they mouth the words to Moulin Rouge together. Every so often he looks Blaine's way and offers a wink, or a look that just tells Blaine exactly what he'll get later if he can just stay still. With Wes and Santana sitting either side of him, the latter of which keeps huffing whenever he shifts, he gives up and tries to move into the kitchen, gripping the doorframe as the plug moves deliciously causing him to suppress a moan. 

"You okay?" Wes asks as he follows him. "You seem really distracted tonight."

"Pizza!" Blaine says loudly. "I'm gonna call for pizza."

"O-Kay," Wes says looking at him warily. 

"Actually, could you do it?" Blaine asks, handing him his phone. "I don't...don't think I can really hold...conversation with anybody." 

"Blaine seriously, what's wrong?" Wes places the phone on the counter and turns to face his friend, concern etched on his features. 

"N-nothing."

"You look like you're either going to cry or pass out, I'm not sure which."

"Neither am I."

"Spill."

"I can't," Blaine whispers shamefully. 

"Does this have to do with Kurt?"

"Yes but it's not..." he stops abruptly as he moves and the plug shifts again. 

"Oh my GOD!" Wes' eyes go wide as it dawns on him. "He's... You're... That thing...that thing he ordered. I wondered what that was for."

"Why did you look?" he hisses as he grips the counter tightly. 

"Because not only did he have it delivered to my house, he also had the package addressed to me. I opened it expecting it to be the math books I had ordered. It was not." 

"It's killing me Wes," he says pitifully. "It feels..."

"Uh-uh. No. I love you dearly, you are my very best friend but there are some things about you that I do not need to know. I'll go get Kurt." 

He walks into the living room and kneels down to whisper to Kurt. "I'm going to order pizza, go sort your boyfriend out." 

"Now?" Kurt murmurs.

"Now."

"Kurt!" Rachel cries indignantly. 

"Yes thank you big ears," Kurt snaps as he flushes red. "Keep your own boyfriend company. I'll be back in a moment." 

He stalks into the kitchen to find Blaine bent almost double. He says nothing but grabs him by the hand and leads him to the downstairs bathroom where he locks the door before pinning him against it and kissing him hungrily. 

"Thank you, oh god thank you..." Blaine gets out before Kurt's lips are upon him again, tongue delving into his warm mouth as his hands expertly work Blaine's pants open and shove them to the floor roughly. His underwear follows before he spins Blaine around and pins his arms against the door.

Blaine moans deeply as he hears Kurt lowering his pants and he nearly comes there and then when Kurt twists the plug. "Fuck! Oh Kurt!"

"Blaine you look so good. Holy shit, you're just ready and waiting for my cock." 

"Please." Blaine's voice is desperate with longing as he begs again and again. "Kurt please just take me. Hard. Fuck me, use me." 

"Shit, Blaine...no lube in here."

"Vaseline under the sink," he says brokenly. "Kurt, hurry."

"I am, I am." He pulls the plug out without warning, and bending low he runs his tongue into Blaine's gaping hole, stretched wide and red, just waiting to be filled again. "Oh my baby," he coos, pausing for a second to rest his face there and just breathe him in. "So beautiful."

"Kuuuurt!" Blaine cries, then almost sobs in relief as Kurt drives into him and fucks him hard. "Oh god Kurt yes...hard. As hard as you can...... Fuck!" 

"Keep your hands on the door," Kurt pants as he grips Blaine's hips tightly. "Don't touch yourself. I want you to come just from me. Just from me." He fists Blaine's hair in one hand, keeping the other digging sharply into his hip as he slams repeatedly against Blaine, who can do nothing but whimper at the frenetic pace Kurt is keeping up. His orgasm hits him without warning as he gasps and spills onto the floor, knees shaking with the force of it. Kurt fucks him through it until he pulls Blaine's hair even tighter and he comes hard into Blaine's ass, pushing his balls tight against him as they contract repeatedly. "Oh god, oh fuck. Blaine!" he cries before slumping against Blaine's back and breathing hard. 

"Thank you," Blaine whispers. "I was so desperate."

"Hmm," Kurt smiles smugly as he fastens his pants. "I think I like you desperate." He eyes the plug appreciatively before rinsing it under the tap and resting it on the counter. 

"Pizza's here!" Finn yells and Blaine hurriedly dresses again and they saunter back into the living room as nonchalantly as possible. They decide on Blues Brothers as the next movie, but the next thing Blaine knows he's being manhandled by Santana. 

"Wha? Wass goin' on?" he mumbles. 

"You've been sleeping on my breasts for over an hour," she tells him matter of factly.

"Oh. Well, they're soft," Blaine shrugs.

"I'd sleep on them if I could," Santana agrees. "But now I need to use the bathroom." 

Blaine yawns and stretches before falling onto the other couch into Kurt's arms where he kisses him tenderly. "I love you."

"Even though I don't have breasts?" he teases lightly. 

"Because you don't have breasts," he grins.

Santana walks back into the room, one hand on her hip, the other holding the gold plug. "Anderson," she says, trying to suppress a smirk as Blaine tries to hide in Kurt's neck. "Want to explain?"


	38. Chapter 38

"Though if I don't get into NYADA I will be devastated," Kurt laughs, trying but failing to sound carefree and not like a nervous wreck. "But still. NYU is a good university, and The Actors studio is very prestigious- but it's heavily focused on acting as opposed to musical theater." he pauses a while, watching Blaine trying to decide between two different types of cheese. "So, I've applied to all of them, and the AAD too- though I didn't really like the look of their course. Plus I.... Are you okay?" he asks suddenly.

"Hmm? Yeah, yeah," Blaine says distractedly.

"Because I've pushed this cart up and down the same aisle four times, and you still haven't chosen which cheese you're getting." 

"Kurt I...." He pauses and looks at Kurt, who waits expectantly. "This one," he says, slinging a packet into the cart and swallowing the hurt lodged in his throat. "You didn't like the gruyere last time."

"Blaine?" 

Stopping in the middle of the aisle and gripping the cart tightly, Kurt watches Blaine's shoulders slump as he takes a moment to gather himself before he turns to face him. 

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"And I love you. I'm really pleased you're applying to other places. Obviously I hope you get into NYADA, but at least you're open to other options- even if they are all in New York."

"Of course they are, silly." Kurt scrunches his nose as Blaine's insides lurch in pain. "There's nowhere else I want to be."

"I thought so." Blaine plasters a smile on his face and holds his hand out to Kurt. "Come on. We need chicken."

Kurt goes home that night to study. They have fallen into a pattern of seeing each other a few evenings and all weekend- and it seems as though a large part of Kurt's closet has found it's way into Blaine's and vice versa. But Kurt has a lot of tests looming, meaning he has no choice but to study hard. Still, they kiss goodbye as lovingly as they always do, and Blaine closes his front door quietly before he sinks to the floor and sobs. He stays there for the longest time before he eventually fumbles for his phone and dials. 

"He's applied," he chokes out before Wes can even utter a greeting. 

"Oh Blaine," his friend sighs heavily. "I'm on my way." 

There is nothing Wes can say or do other than to hold Blaine on the floor of his hallway and let him cry until he can cry no more, until his eyes are red and raw and he finally becomes capable of speech once again. 

"Thank you," he whispers, voice hoarse and thick with tears. 

Wes runs his hands over Blaine's back as he speaks into his hair. "Any time Blaine. You should know that by now," he smiles ruefully. "I have to say, I'm surprised you're not halfway through a bottle of whiskey."

"Kurt doesn't like it when I drink heavily," he mutters, before a fresh flood of tears make themselves known. "They're all in New York, Wes," he sobs. "Every place he's applied to. All of them. He will go to New York next summer and that will be the end of us." 

"Hey, come on now. You don't know that for sure. You can work through this. You've told me yourself so many times that you two are meant to be."

"I know, and I'll never let him go, but he wants me to go with him....and when I say no..."

"I thought you had already told him?" 

"I have, or at least, I've tried. But I know he's convinced he can change my mind. These last few months we've been spending every weekend together. We're as good as living together already. We go grocery shopping together, we make dinner together, he has a key and just comes and goes as he chooses. It would be so easy...so fucking easy to make that transition." 

"Then why don't you?" Wes asks as he takes Blaine's hand and forces eye contact. "Blaine, why are you here? In Lima? We came back together because you needed support from me and your parents, and ultimately we came because of my job. But you can do your job anywhere."

"But... New York..."

"New York is a big city, with many different places and with many opportunities for you to make new memories with Kurt. He's the love of your life Blaine. Luke wasn't. I know it was hard, but be honest with me here. How many times have you thought of him in the last year? You know the anniversary of his passing was two weeks ago?"

"Was it?" Blaine rubs his temples and tries to remember. "Yeah... I guess it was."

"You see? That doesn't make you a bad person, Blaine. It just means you've found closure in the arms of Kurt. You've moved on from that dark place. And you know what? You loved that city. Central Park, Times Square, Bronx Zoo... Don't you want to be by Kurt's side when he experiences all of that for the first time? Don't you want to share candy floss on Coney Island? Or try and rein in his spending at Saks? Two years ago I was sitting here telling you to try and get to know Kurt as a friend. Now I'm telling you not to lose your lover." 

"I need time to deal with this," Blaine croaks as he lies down with his head in Wes' lap. "I'm not sure."

"Of course you do," he says kindly. "Though if you need to cuddle I'd rather we move to your couch," he laughs as he pats his shoulder. "I'm not expecting a snap decision, Blaine. But I do want you to talk to Kurt about this. You have to tell him why you're reluctant. I can only help so much, it's him you really need to get you through this." 

"Not tonight. He's got studying to do, and it's sectionals on Saturday. I can't mess all that up for him." 

"But soon, yes?"

"Yes." 

But sectionals comes and goes, Kurt sends his applications in, and Blaine says nothing. Truth be told, he finds it all too easy to bottle his feelings, put them on the highest shelf and forget about them. It's easier than confrontation that's for sure. And he just wants to enjoy being with Kurt. Every second they're together is better than the last, and so it is that he finds himself trudging wearily through the door after a long day at work with a huge grin playing on his face. 

"Kurt?"

"How did you know I was here?" He appears in the hallway, apron tied around his waist and an adorable chocolate smudge running across his cheek. "I hid my car in the garage."

"I know you did," Blaine smiles as he throws his keys on the hall table. "Because I couldn't get my car in there."

"Oh. I didn't think of that," he smiles sheepishly. 

"What'cha doing?" Blaine sing songs as he sidles up to him. 

"Oh no you don't mister. It's a surprise. Now go wash up."

"I don't even get a kiss?"

"Well...." he places a lingering kiss to Blaine's pouting lips. "There. Now go. Dinner in five." 

When Blaine trips back downstairs a few minutes later he finds the kitchen door barricaded and hears a muffled Kurt ordering him into the dining room. He gasps when he walks in and finds the whole room lit by candles, an enormous bouquet of flowers and the table laid out for two with a bottle of wine set in an ice bucket. 

"All this for a Thursday?" he asks as he hears Kurt come into the room behind him. "I don't even usually see you on a Thursday." 

"All this for your birthday," Kurt corrects, wrapping his arms around his waist and hooking his chin over his shoulder. 

"That's on Saturday."

"Blaine, trust me, I'm never going to forget the date of your birthday," he says with a small smile. "But the celebrations start now. We have plans tomorrow and for the weekend too." 

"A card would suffice." 

"It would not," Kurt says, tapping his backside playfully. "Now sit. Dinner is served." 

 

"Okay. You're gonna have to stop with the noises," Kurt says as he throws his napkin down in defeat. "Or you will be naked." 

"Too good," Blaine gets out around a mouthful of chicken. "Ohmygod, how have we gone all this time without me knowing you could cook like this? When we're married I'm gonna need this at least once a week, 'Kay?"

"You still think that will happen?" Kurt asks, propping his chin on his palm and gazing at him lovingly. 

"I hope so," Blaine answers with shining eyes. "It's what I want more than anything."

"Me too."

"Along with cheesecake."

"Yes, me too," Kurt laughs as he gathers the plates. He returns a moment later, one plate in his hand as he gestures to Blaine to let him sit in his lap. "So.... I made this," he says somewhat proudly. "It has taken nearly all afternoon so I hope it's good. S'mores chocolate cheesecake for the birthday boy...well....man," he smiles as he offers a tempting forkful.

"I am in heaven," Blaine says as he swallows. "Kurt that is just... Not better than sex but pretty damn close. More," he demands, opening his mouth wide and groaning when Kurt feeds him again and again. 

"Do I get to try any, or are you just going to have the whole slice?" Kurt teases. 

"Here." Blaine scoops some cheesecake onto his finger and offers it, eyes darkening as Kurt sucks his finger suggestively. "Well I guess we know where this evening is heading," he says, quirking one eyebrow as his voice becomes gravelly with desire. He offers his finger again. "Tell me you're staying?"

"I'm staying," Kurt confirms. "And you and I are going to be naked for a very, very long time," he breathes as he ghosts his lips over Blaine's. "After we finish the cheesecake." 

"Or before," he answers with a wink. 

An hour later and cheesecake is everywhere. Blaine can't help but laugh when Kurt stops sucking his cock and looks up at him, complete with chocolate beard. It is smeared down his chest and stomach, in Blaine's hair, over his thighs and finally his hips as Kurt bends him over the dining room table and takes him. The only part of their anatomies that are cheesecake free are their dicks, both having taken great pleasure in sucking each other clean earlier in the proceedings. By the time their mutual orgasm hits for the second time, both are worn out and stagger wearily to the shower where Blaine declares he will tackle the dishes the next day. 

"That cheesecake...." he starts once they're in bed and he's tracing a finger up and down Kurt's chest.

"Hmm?"

"Promise me you will never serve that at any dinner parties we may end up having. I'll never survive."

Kurt laughs loudly and rolls him over, pinning him to the bed and kissing him tenderly. "Blaine... I love you so much. You're completely over dramatic..."

"Me?" he cries incredulously. "Me?!"

"Yes. You. I'm always calm and collected." Kurt's eyes sparkle with mirth as he continues. "You panic if there's a smear on the kitchen window yet you eat cheesecake from my cock like you haven't had a decent meal in weeks."

"I hadn't sucked your dick for five days," Blaine points out. "Same thing."

"Blaine.... " Kurt pauses to catch his full attention. "We'll be okay." He offers a small smile, eyes sincere but then filling with concern as Blaine breaks down completely. "Hey... Oh Blaine. Shh." He cradles him tenderly in his arms as Blaine's sobs echo around the room and he grips the love of his life as tight as he can. "Blaine... My darling old man. Please don't cry. Please. We will, I mean it. We'll be okay."

"Th-thank you," he sobs violently, whole body shaking with the force. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to say that." 

"What? I thought you knew..."

"I did...I do," pausing, he rubs at his eyes in the manner of a small child and Kurt finds himself struck by the vulnerability and fear this man is dealing with. His whole body curls around him protectively as he listens to Blaine's anguish. "I just....it's always you asking me. And I... I'm tired of trying to be strong. I can't be strong anymore because I'm fucking petrified." 

"Oh my god I'm so sorry," Kurt cries desperately. "Blaine..."

"No, no don't be sorry, cause you need that reassurance as much as I do and I'm happy to be the one to give that to you. But I just... I just needed to hear that you think that for yourself. Does that make any sense?"

"Yes," Kurt nods earnestly. "And please don't be frightened. There's no need. We know how fairy tales end... And this is ours." 

"I'll never give up fighting for you."

"I know." Kurt kisses everywhere, becoming frantic and desperate as he tries but fails to keep his own tears from falling. Blaine finds his lips and captures them, their kiss fervent with need until both steadily start to relax in each others arms. "We'll be okay," Kurt murmurs against his lips. "We'll be okay." Their kisses slow to occasional grazes of lips, their tears dry as salt tracks on each others skin and it is to this mantra which Kurt repeats over and over, that Blaine eventually falls asleep.


	39. Chapter 39

"I'm not going to school today," Kurt announces as Blaine stretches and yawns next to him. 

"No, you have to. Senior year and all that." 

"Blaine, the last time I missed any school was when we went to Chicago. One day isn't going to hurt." 

Blaine fixes him with a disapproving look, but Kurt can tell he is softening already. "You haven't got a test, have you? You're not doing this to try and avoid anything?"

"No. I promise. I just....don't want to be apart from you right now."

"Kurt, I appreciate that I really do," Blaine tells him as he takes his hand, "but it can't be like this every day. I wish it could, but reality bites."

"I know," he nods, eyes swimming already. "But I just thought that if you skipped work and I stayed home it would give us three whole days to just...be. To regroup and get back on track. We're in a really depressed state right now and I hate it, because that's not what we're about, and it's not how I want my senior year to be. We had a really great evening last night and then we both ended up crying ourselves to sleep."

"That was my fault, I'm sorry."

"No it wasn't," Kurt says firmly as he kisses his nose. "We're just allowing ourselves to get caught in this downward spiral of despair- both of us- and why? We both agree this is forever, neither of us want anyone else and whatever happens in the next three years we will come out of this fighting, still together and ready to start our life as a proper adult couple. We don't even know if I'll be accepted to any of the colleges. Can we just adopt a wait and see attitude?"

"We can...." Blaine starts with trepidation, "but I'm also conscious that at some point we're going to have to deal with the question of what happens next, and I don't see what putting it off any longer will achieve, though...I have to admit to that being by far the easiest option."

"Yes, and we will have to deal with that several times throughout our life, Blaine," Kurt cries earnestly. "Do we want kids? How many? When? And how? And that's just the start. You want to have all those discussions now, just to avoid it later? Because we can discuss college as much as we like right now, but until we know where I'm going there just doesn't seem much point." 

"I'm not coming with you, Kurt," Blaine says as kindly as he can. 

A silence falls. Kurt doesn't let go of Blaine's hand but allows his other hand to pick aimlessly at the sheet, trying and failing to find a loose thread. His eyes are cast downward and Blaine notices that he swallows repeatedly before finally looking up with a bright smile that doesn't reach his eyes. 

"So you keep saying," he says. "But a lot can happen in eight months. Now. I'm not going to school today and that's final. I'll go fix breakfast while you shower." 

He hops from the bed and goes downstairs, leaving Blaine to fall back on the bed holding his head in despair. With Santana and Wes both in school, he decides to put that lid back on his thoughts and feelings once more, and join his boyfriend in happy denial. They manage to laugh together as they clear up the remnants of the cheesecake from the night before, though Kurt is keen to leave the handprints on the dining room table. They lounge around watching old movies, kissing lazily when the mood takes them which eventually graduates into spending the entire afternoon making love on the couch. It is with great reluctance that they shower and dress then drive to Kurt's house for Friday dinner. 

"Feeling better?" Burt Hummel stands, hands on hips staring at his son with a withering glare. 

"Yes thank you," Kurt says coolly as he tries to walk past him into the kitchen. "I had some kind of stomach bug or something." 

"Oh," Burt nods his understanding as a stricken Blaine holds tight to Kurt's arm. "Stomach bug. I see. Just like you had last year when you disappeared to Chicago for two days." 

"Oh crap," Blaine mumbles.

"Finn!" Kurt yells. "Finn! Get down here! You and I had a deal!"

"Oh be quiet," Burt laughs. "I knew at the time that you were lying. And Finn will tell anyone anything for twenty bucks."

"You're not mad?" Kurt asks warily. 

"Bit late to be mad, my son," he laughs, ruffling his hair. "I did a whole lot worse when I was your age. I expect Blaine did too."

"I did not!" Blaine cries indignantly. "I never skipped school for anything."

"Nerd," Burt says with affection. "Come on. Dinner time. Tell Finn and Rachel to get down here."

That evening, Kurt and Blaine make their way to the Lima Bean as they have on so many Fridays past, where they meet with the same friends who are now so familiar with one another. When Blaine's gig finishes however, Kurt surprises him by announcing they are going back to his house.

"We always go to mine for the weekend," Blaine grumbles as he gets in the car. "Always."

"I know. But tonight we're doing something different."

"Sleeping in a different bed, how exciting."

"Will you quit with the mood?" Kurt laughs. "We're going out and I need to get ready. This atmosphere is gonna be lifted if it kills me. Then we will go back to yours."

"Out? Out where? It's late."

"Scandals."

"Oh no. No, no and no again. You're not even eighteen."

"I was fifteen when we first went there," Kurt points out. "We're gonna party with your friends for your birthday."

"We didn't go together," Blaine grouches. "You forced your way in and hunted me down." 

"Whatever," Kurt dismisses with a smile. "Come on. It'll be fun."

Blaine's mood relaxes slightly as he waits for Kurt to emerge from his bedroom, and he smiles to himself as he thinks of how he always seems to end up waiting on him. Finally he hears footsteps. 

"You took your time," he calls from the living room. "What were you doing in there? You only needed to..... Oh holy shit I might have just died." Blaine's mouth hangs open as Kurt saunters into the room, hair artfully dishevelled, clothes tighter than ever and eyeliner emphasizing his bright blue eyes.

"You okay?" Kurt asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah," he breathes. "Better than okay. Fuck. Should I remove the bow tie?" he asks, gesturing to his own outfit. "I look like your grandad or something."

"You look like my perfectly handsome boyfriend," Kurt corrects as he winds his arms beguilingly around his neck. 

"Your eyes, Kurt..... Your eyes." 

"Will be on you all night," he whispers seductively against his cheek. "Let's go have fun." 

An hour later and Wes takes a firm hold of Blaine's car keys as the birthday boy does yet another body shot from his nubile young lover. 

"Blaine's gone wild!" Sebastian calls happily as he dances around them. "C'mon Wes, lemme do shots off you," he begs.

"Absolutely not," he says primly. "I'm sure Nick will let you borrow Jeff when he's done though," he remarks with a nod in their direction.

"What about Kurt? Can I borrow Kurt? I want to borrow Kurt," he pouts. 

"Fuck off Smythe," a drunken Blaine drawls. "Mine. Always and forever, mine." 

Picking up a shot for himself, Kurt sits on the bar and downs it, pulling Blaine in for a dirty kiss. "Yours," he grins back. "Let's dance." 

"He's changed," Jeff helpfully observes as Kurt grinds against Blaine on the dancefloor, quite obviously enjoying turning his boyfriend into a useless pile of goo.

"He's two years older," Wes points out. 

"And taller," Nick adds.

"Nicky didn't even know he was gay at sixteen," Sebastian remarks. "By eighteen Jeff had all but ruined him, just like Blaine's done to Kurt."

"He hasn't ruined him," Jeff objects."Kurt is awesome. They're perfect for each other. Blaine has allowed Kurt to grow up, and my god has he."

"Exactly," Sebastian moans. "Don't get me wrong, hot as hell. But I remember when he was a blushing virgin and now he's making Blaine wear butt plugs and fucking him into the middle of next week whenever he gets a second to spare."

"How do you know about that?" Wes asks. 

"Santana. She won't ever tell what she discusses with Blaine, but she'll tell you anything and everything about their sex life. Apparently, in the third drawer down of Blaine's chest..."

"Enough!" Wes holds his hand up to silence him. "We're dancing." 

"I'm gonna drown in your eyes," Blaine moans happily against Kurt's lips. "Drown forever and ever and..."

"Don't drink anymore," Kurt laughs. “Or at least give me a chance to catch up. Dance with Nick for a moment; I’m going to the bar.”

“Nickyyyyyy!” Blaine calls happily as he stumbles into his friends arms. “Nicky, I love you.”

“I know you do Blainers,” he laughs as he catches him and helps him sway to the music.

“Nick?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think I should go with Kurt?”

“To the bar?”

“To college.”

“Oh. Well...” his eyes wander over Blaine’s shoulder, to where Sebastian and Wes are nodding fervently and he looks his friend square in the eye. “Yes. I think Kurt has your heart and you need to follow it. Blaine... you’ve always been a pragmatic, no nonsense kind of guy and terribly sensible. Not as bad as Wes- but still quite well behaved compared to the rest of us. Kurt shakes that up a bit for you, and at the same time you ground him.”

“I do not!” 

“You know what I mean you drunken fool. Do it Blaine. Follow your heart.”

“Ooh! I love this song!” Blaine cries, changing the subject as quickly as the music itself. "Goldie!"

"Blondie!" the others chime around him, but Blaine is too far gone to care.

"Two shots of tequila please," Kurt calls to the barman. 

"Make it three."

Kurt's insides turn to ice as he turns to confront the all too familiar voice. "David." His tone is cold, indifferent and he seizes his drinks quickly, nodding his thanks as Karofsky pays. 

"Isn't that your boyfriend?" Karofsky looks over to Blaine now firmly wedged between Sebastian and Jeff and seemingly having the time of his life. 

"Yeah," Kurt says with a laugh. "He's wasted. It's his birthday."

"How're you doing? How's school?" Dave looks nervous, wringing his hands as his eyes dart this way and that. 

"It's good," Kurt replies. "Yeah... You? How's the new place?"

"Yeah it's okay," Dave says awkwardly. "I'm happy enough. Happier than I was at McKinley, anyway."

"Good." Kurt offers a tiny smile. "And don't worry, I won't tell anyone that I've seen you."

"I'm sorry, Kurt," Dave suddenly blurts. "I made your life a living hell and I'm so, so sorry. I don't expect your forgiveness, but I just need you to know that how I acted..... It wasn't me. I'm not a bad person. And that day when I kissed you... I just...I just needed to know. To prove something to myself. I shouldn't have gone about it that way though, I know."

"Well given that you're in a gay bar I'd say it proved something- even if it may not have been what you were hoping."

Both offer a weak smile by way of recompense, and Kurt finds himself covering Karofsky's hand with his own and offering a reassuring squeeze. 

"I do forgive you Dave," he smiles. "It's in the past. Blaine told me at the time that one day it would just be an unpleasant memory, and he's right. We've all grown up and moved on since then. I'm glad you're....if not fully happy then happier than you were, at least. And I hope that one day you'll find someone who loves you for who you are." 

"The way he loves you?" Dave asks with another look at Blaine, who is now beckoning to Kurt to join him.

"The way he loves me," Kurt answers with a smile before downing his two shots and going to join his lover. 

"What did he want?" Blaine asks as soon as Kurt is within earshot. "I was gonna come over but you looked like you could handle it."

"I could, oh brave knight of mine," a giddily happy Kurt laughs as he pulls him closer. "But thank you for being ready to charge. We were just talking. He apologized." 

"Good."

"Yeah." Kurt feels relief flood through him as he realizes that he has finally found closure on one of the darkest chapters of his life. Looking over Blaine's shoulder he smiles as Karofsky raises his bottle of beer in salute, then nuzzles his face against Blaine's cheek. "I love you so much my birthday boy."

"Eyes, Kurt." Blaine grins happily as he gazes at him. "Your eyes make me crazy. Like, really horny. Crazy horny." 

"Horny, huh?" Kurt smiles seductively as he wraps his arms a little tighter around Blaine's neck and presses their bodies closer together. 

"Kuuuurt. You make me hard."

"Kiss me." 

Blaine doesn't need to be asked twice, and Kurt staggers backwards with the force of Blaine's mouth on his. The tequila is making him lightheaded, and along with the blatant desire for Blaine coursing through him, it is no time at all before Kurt pins Blaine against the wall, nudges his legs apart with his knee and kisses him back roughly, grinding against him for good measure. 

"Yes!" Sebastian looks around for anyone to fist bump, but Nick and Jeff are dancing in one another's arms which only leaves Wes standing off to one side. "Wes?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever considered being gay?"

"Not for you, Smythe, no. And as far as I'm aware, it's not something you just wake up and decide you'd like to try."

"They're so hot," Sebastian murmurs as he watches Blaine's hands untuck Kurt's shirt. "Oh my god Kurt's eating him."

"What?" Wes shrieks.

"His neck, Wes. Just his neck. Even wasted Blaine is dapper Blaine...... Or maybe not," he comments, eyebrows shooting up to his hairline as Kurt falls to his knees. 

"Right, that's it. I'm taking them home," Wes huffs. 

"Kinky."

"Stop being a moron and help me get them in the car." 

In the end, Sebastian agrees to accompany Wes on the drive, if only to listen to the insanely hot noises Kurt and Blaine are making from the backseat of the car. 

"If a single drop of semen spills in this car, Blaine Anderson, you are buying me a new one!" Wes yells as he tries to drown out his friend's moans.

"Wes... My boyfriend is so hot."

"Uh-huh. So you keep saying."

"I like eyeliner."

"Uh-huh. You keep saying that too."

"Stop talking and put that mouth to good use," Kurt murmurs against his neck. 

"Oh my god, Blaine, are you going to suck Kurt in the car?" Sebastian asks, twisting around to try and catch a glimpse. 

"Nope," he grins at him. "We don't share and we don't let people watch. It's our rules. We're for each other only." 

"And you're home," Wes says with relief as he pulls into Blaine's driveway. "Go. Leave. I will call you at some point tomorrow to taunt you about your advancing years. I love you both." 

They stumble from the car, laughing as they trip their way up the front path and into the hallway, where Kurt holds Blaine against the wall once again for more urgent kisses. "Upstairs," he commands. “Get undressed and wait for me on the bed." 

Blaine complies eagerly, giving Kurt enough time to go to the kitchen as fetch two large glasses of water and a packet of Advil. 

"Okay," he says as he enters the room. "Take two of these before sexy times begin. And drink all the water." He does the same before removing his clothes slowly, watching Blaine with dark eyes as his cock fills again and Blaine starts to stroke himself. He walks to the third drawer down of the chest, being sure to bend in just the right way to give Blaine a complete eyeful. Collecting what he needs he turns back to Blaine and advances slowly. 

"Sexy times?" Blaine laughs. "Are we that drunk?" 

"We had quite a lot I guess, but we stopped a while ago," Kurt shrugs. "Drunk on each other more than anything."

"I had a really great night," Blaine smiles. 

"It's not over yet." Kurt presses his body on top of Blaine as they kiss deeply, and Blaine willingly allows Kurt to hold his wrists above his head, though he does express surprise when Kurt handcuffs him to the headboard.

"What the.....?"

"Okay?"

"Do you want me to see thirty three?"

Kurt chuckles as he carries on and shackles the other wrist to the bed, leaving Blaine to tug on his restraints with a moan. Settling at the other end of the bed, Kurt strokes his cock as he watches Blaine biting on his lip. 

"Sooo, for your birthday..."

"Fuck."

"Well, yes. But, I thought we might go and see a show.....And then I thought, what if I was the show instead?"

"I have died and gone to heaven," Blaine groans happily. 

From behind his back, Kurt pulls both the vibrators, coating the long blue one in lube as casually as if he were icing a Popsicle. "And then I thought to myself, what if I were to fuck myself on this dildo while I jerked off for you?"

"Fucking...fuck. Oh baby that is shit hot. Do you want to though? Cause...."

"I do, Blaine. I really do. And I want you to watch me. And while you're watching, I want you to have this inside you," he says as he smears lube around the bullet. "Spread your legs."

The noise Blaine emits is somewhere between a whimper and a scream of ecstasy as Kurt presses the pad of his thumb over his hole. His legs fall open eagerly and he draws his knees up, happily exposing himself to his lover who pushes his slick thumb inside, holding it still for a moment before twisting as he pulls out. He repeats this over and over, watching as Blaine writhes on his hand when he adds two fingers.

"Oh god Kurt," Blaine moans. "I can't... I'll never last. I just..."

"You'll come soon," Kurt acknowledges coolly. "You've been hard most of the night, and the car was pretty intense. So you'll come, broken, desperate and begging for more..... And then you'll come again." He removes his hand and trails the bullet around Blaine's entrance, dipping his head to run his tongue around the tip of Blaine's cock. 

"Fucking tease," he whimpers as he tugs hard on the cuffs. "Kurt... Suck me, please. Let me come."

"Not yet," he answers as he slides the bullet easily inside. "The show is about to start." He settles back at the end of the bed and picking up the remote control, turns the bullet onto its lowest setting. It is silent, but Kurt can tell it is working by the way Blaine's hips thrust violently into the air and he writhes in pleasure. "Good?"

"It's... My... Yeah," he manages to breathe out eventually. 

"Open your eyes, Blaine." Kurt's voice is firm and commanding, and Blaine obliges immediately. Kurt is on all fours and trailing the blue vibrator along his crack, body angled so Blaine can see clearly but Kurt can also eye fuck Blaine all the while. 

"Kurt....oh my fucking god. Shit." Blaine's back arches off the bed as he becomes desperate to touch, to be the one teasing Kurt with the toy like that. "Take it Kurt. Let your ass eat the toy up for me." 

His nerves and inhibitions dumbed into submission by the alcohol, Kurt moans indecently as he pushes the toy past his rim. It is slim enough, but still wider than fingers and he struggles for a moment with the burn before Blaine can see his body relax, and then his ass takes the rest of the length with relative ease, Kurt's face scrunching in pleasure as Blaine bucks from the bed again. 

"So pretty, baby," Blaine murmurs, sweat now forming on his brow with the force of his longing. "So fucking perfect. Be a slut for me Kurt, fuck yourself on the toy. " 

Kurt obliges happily, turning so Blaine can only see the toy fucking in and out of his ass as rapidly as he can. His moans become ever more high pitched as he fists the sheets in his other hand so he stops, staving off his impending pleasure and turning back around to face Blaine instead. 

"Please...please Kurt, oh fuck!" Blaine cries desperately.

"Please what? What do you want?"

"I want..." he pauses. Blaine wants to come. Needs to come. But the thought of watching Kurt stroking himself to orgasm and simultaneously fucking himself onto a vibrator is far too tempting. "Turn it on," he begs brokenly. 

"I'll turn it on and I'll turn you up," Kurt grins wickedly and he clicks the remote twice more as Blaine screams. 

"Oh fuck, Kurt! Fuck!" 

There is no answer from Kurt as he turns his own toy on, he merely bows his head as he takes a moment to get used to the sensation before he kneels on the bed. The positioning is awkward, but he doesn't seem to care as he uses his left hand to hold the toy in place and his right to attend to his already leaking cock. Blaine just stares, trying to fuck back onto the bullet as best he can while Kurt brings himself to orgasm right in front of him. 

"Get up here," he demands roughly. "Come in my mouth."

Kurt straddles him, almost across his throat as he fists his cock frantically in front of Blaine's face. "Oh shit...Blaine...."

"Yes Kurt...turn it up."

Pushing the vibrator onto its highest setting, Kurt sees only white, crying out in a series of gasps and shouts as he comes hard over Blaine's face, who opens his mouth eagerly and catches most of it. Letting the still vibrating toy fall out onto Blaine's chest, he leans over and clutches the headboard while he tries to catch his breath. 

"Fucking hell," he moans weakly. 

"Kurt?" Blaine's voice is frantic.

"Yeah?" he whispers, voice hoarse as he rests his face against the cool wood and closes his eyes. 

"I really need to come." 

"Oh shit! Baby I'm so sorry!" Kurt cries as he scrambles off him and down to rest between his legs. "How's that bullet working out for you?" 

"It's so good but watching you was the best thing. Please let me touch you?"

"Not yet," Kurt grins as he locates the remote. Pushing the toy in as far as he can, he guesses he's hit Blaine's prostate as he screams and arches off the bed. 

"Kurt!! Please, please....just...."

"I know," he soothes. "I know." He takes Blaine deep in his mouth and the second he does, Blaine is coming violently, hips bucking wildly as the bullet vibrates against his prostate and he tries not to cry with the force of his desperation. Kurt pulls off, choking with the force of his spasms and wiping the come as it dribbles down his chin. "Jesus Blaine! You okay?" he asks with concern as he turns the bullet off and carefully removes it. 

Blaine is near delirium, head thrown back as his whole body continues to shudder while he lies there with his arms outstretched. "More," he moans. "I need more." 

"Right now?"

"Yes. Don't stop Kurt. Fuck me through it."

"I don't know if I can," he laughs weakly. 

"You can," Blaine begs. "Please baby. You're so fucking sexy... Naked except for eyeliner," he smiles. "Holy shit. Please!"

To his disbelief, Kurt can feel himself hardening again at the sound of Blaine's voice, scratchy with desire. "Keep talking," he says darkly.

"Untie me so I can hold you," he pleads, and Kurt scrambles for the keys. "Fuck, yes!" he cries, flexing his wrists briefly before he pulls Kurt on top of him and runs his hands over him. "Kurt...your ass. Your ass when you were fucking yourself," he grins as he picks up the now still bullet and trails it over Kurt's entrance. "Ohhhh, and you're still stretched," he moans as Kurt buries his head in Blaine's neck and bites roughly. 

"Oh god Blaine. Put it in," Kurt groans. "Fuck me on the same toy that was fucking you. That's so hot."

"Take me at the same time," Blaine whispers in his ear as he slicks Kurt’s now straining cock with lube. "Only this time I have the remote." 

Kurt tears into him as Blaine digs his fingers sharply into his back and yells loudly. "Gonna fuck....you....so hard," Kurt pants as he slams into him over and over. 

Blaine picks the toy up, shakily coating it in lube as Kurt fucks him hard, and pushes it as far into Kurt's ass as he dares. Holding the remote in one hand, Blaine takes a second to rearrange himself with his legs on Kurt's shoulders. "Ready?"

"I was ready five minutes ago," Kurt grunts as he leans to kiss his lips. "Give me all you've got." 

Blaine growls his appreciation and turns the bullet up slowly, giving Kurt time to adjust before he clicks rapidly until he can click no more. "That's all I've got," he says proudly as Kurt shakes and shudders above him. 

"That...that....yeah. That's good," he whimpers before picking up the pace once more. "Blaine... Fuck. You're just....you're so tight and perfect around me."

"Made for you, that's why," Blaine moans as he grips Kurt's hair and pulls him into a sloppy kiss. "Fuck me baby. Fill me up while the toy fills you."

"Yes, yes!"

"Oh shit, Kurt!" Blaine comes without any touch to his cock, clenching tight around his boyfriend who cries out as he comes too, then collapses hard onto Blaine's chest. 

"I'm dead," Kurt moans. "I will never move again...please get that thing out of my ass," he whimpers.

"Sorry," Blaine laughs as he pulls the bullet out. 

"They're not so much fun after you've had an orgasm," Kurt chuckles. 

"No," Blaine laughs with him. "That was fun though."

"Hell yes! Can I sleep on you, like this?" Kurt asks as he lets Blaine's legs fall back to the bed.

"If you like," Blaine smiles as he hugs Kurt close. "In fact, nothing would make me happier."


	40. Chapter 40

Blaine wakes to music. Familiar music. He stretches, winces at the pain shooting through his body but then smiles, pulls on some boxer shorts and runs downstairs. 

"Well, good morning," Kurt smiles as he falls into his boyfriends arms. "And a very Happy Birthday to you."

"Thank you," Blaine replies with a lingering kiss. "And why are you standing in my kitchen and yet singing to me at the same time?" 

"Like I said, Happy Birthday," he smiles as the Kurt coming from the speakers reaches the crescendo of 'Wake Me Up Inside.'

"Did you record this for me?" a startled Blaine asks. 

"Yes. Well actually, you might want to thank Mr. Schue when you see him as he did the recording for me, but I remember you saying you wanted a recording of it and..." 

"I did. I do!" he corrects quickly, laughing. "Thank you Kurt. It's gorgeous."

"There are other songs too, but you can listen to those later," he smiles as he flips the speakers off. "Now we have gifts," he says triumphantly pushing a pile toward him. 

Blaine grins like a little kid as he tears into the packages, laughing at the chocolate body paint, blindfold and lube he opens. 

"So when my parents ask what your gift was?" he asks with a cheeky grin. 

"You won't be able to answer because you'll be bound, gagged and covered in chocolate," Kurt laughs as he falls into his lap. "This is your real gift. I uh...I'm kinda broke," he mutters, embarrassed as he hands over a small package. "So it's not as much as I would have liked but..."

"Kurt, you didn't have to get me anything," Blaine says sincerely. "Just you...and the body paint, would suffice."

"I wanted to."

Blaine opens the small box, smiling softly as he takes the music note cufflinks from their box. "Kurt!" His eyes take in the small crystals inset in each note, one blue, one amber. "You...this..."

"Matches," Kurt smiles as he raises his wrist to show his bracelet. "I figured you'd be more likely to wear cufflinks than...umpf," Kurt is cut off by a deep kiss, then several more which are rained over his eyelids, cheeks and nose. 

"I love them. I love you, and I love us," Blaine smiles happily. "Thank you. Not just for these but for this weekend. You were right. We needed to get back on track and we have done. I'm so happy."

"Good," Kurt smiles. "I'm gonna make breakfast and then maybe we can relax in the tub? We're a little bit..."

"Yeah," Blaine laughs. "A bath sounds good." 

Later, Wes and Santana arrive, the latter of which is driving Blaine's car- much to his abject horror. Blaine is a little startled when Kurt announces he's leaving, trailing him into the hallway despondently as he watches him putting his shoes on.

"I thought we'd spend the whole day together, that's all," he says, trying not to pout. 

"Come to my house later, okay?"

"But..."

"Blaine. Please?"

"Okay," he nods reluctantly. "We're okay, though? Nothing's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong at all. Go for lunch with your friends, then drive to me. I'll be ready and waiting for you. I love you."

Kurt leaves and Blaine flops down onto the couch with a sigh. "He's gone."

"Well I'm really looking forward to when he goes to college," Wes says sarcastically. "If you get like this when he disappears for a couple of hours, how will you be when it's a couple of months?"

"Blaine," Santana starts, moving onto the same couch, "I know you keep saying no, but I really think..."

"I really think we should go for lunch like Kurt suggested," Blaine says with a sudden forced brightness as he leaps to his feet. "C'mon. I'll pay." 

"Blaine..."

"Santana, please," he implores, looking between her and Wes. "Both of you. Kurt and I have talked and we decided to wait until his plans are a little firmer before we discuss anything further. I can't deal with eight months of anguish. We figured we could use this weekend to get back to where we were, and so far that's going really well. I know you're both only trying to help, but really, Kurt and I just want to enjoy whatever time we have left in Ohio together and not worrying about what's to be."

"Okay," she kisses his cheek warmly, laughing as Wes does the same. 

"Just know we're here for you though," Wes says seriously. "And there is no way you're buying lunch on your birthday. It's on us."

"Us?" Santana asks coolly. 

"Us."

Blaine arrives at Kurt's house late in the afternoon, smiling broadly when he spies his parents car sitting on the Hummel's driveway, and wondering why he panicked earlier when he should have guessed Kurt was up to something. He bounds up the porch steps ready to knock, but is surprised by Finn pulling open the door and hugging him warmly. 

"Happy Birthday!" he greets, then steps aside so Rachel can kiss his cheek. 

"Right this way sir," she says brightly as she takes his hand and Finn covers his eyes. They guide him through the house into the dining room, where Rachel helps him to sit in a chair and jokingly ties a napkin around his neck. "I hope you didn't eat too much at lunch," she says in his ear. 

"Uh...no. I had a sandwich. I wanted fries too, but Santana wouldn't let me."

"Hmm, so she can do something right," she mutters.

"Can Finn take his hands away? I promise to keep my eyes closed," Blaine pleads as he becomes aware of shuffling within the room. 

"Not yet," Finn laughs. Suddenly, Blaine feels fingers tilting his chin before a familiar pair of lips rest softly against his own. 

"Happy Birthday," Kurt whispers as Blaine grins. "Open your eyes." 

Blaine laughs as he takes in the sight in front of him. His mom and dad stand at the far end of the table with Burt and Carole, and Kurt stands by his side, chewing his lip nervously. But it is the food that draws his attention. The whole table is covered in his favourite dishes. His mom's lasagna and a warm apple pie, Carole's French toast and pancakes with bacon, coffee and muffins from his and Burt's favourite coffee shop, sandwiches which are stuffed so full that only Finn could have made them.... And then Kurt's offerings. Pizza- just like they had made together the first night he had stayed over- chicken parmigiana, homemade bread still warm from the oven and the best of all, two cheesecakes. One regular and one S'mores one... An exact replica from the other night only this time it has candles in the top. Blaine blushes a deep red when he sees it and looks to Kurt who shrugs with a grin playing at the corner of his mouth. 

"You all did this for me?" he asks, as if not quite believing people would go to the effort.

"It was Kurt's idea, darling," his mom says as she hugs him warmly. "And I have to say, I think it's marvelous. We all know you like your food, and we all like to get together, so it seemed a perfect idea. Wesley will be along soon, along with your other friends."

"Good," Blaine laughs. "Cause I'm not sure we could eat all this. And you," he says, standing and pulling Kurt into his arms. "You are just the best. I figured you'd come home to study or something."

"Nope," he grins. "Now I have one more gift for you," he smiles as he hands him a large package. 

Blaine tears at the paper, and can't help the tears that spring to his eyes as he looks down at the large framed photo. 

"Jonathan sent me the proofs," Kurt says as he tucks himself into Blaine's side. "And I liked this one best, so I got it blown up and framed. The others are all in here," he explains as he hands a scrapbook over.

"Thank goodness he's finished it," Carole laughs. "We've not been allowed in this room for over a week, he's had stuff everywhere."

"I wanted it to be perfect," he says, embarrassed. 

"It is." Blaine kisses his cheek softly, gazing at him adoringly. "It's amazing."

"That picture is beautiful," Rachel comments from his other side. 

"It really is, darling," his mom agrees as they both study the framed portrait. Kurt holds him on his back, eyes squinting shut with laughter as Blaine smiles down at him tenderly. The sun is setting on the water behind them, casting a perfect golden glow over the pair. The grains of sand clinging to Kurt's chest and Blaine's shoulder only add to it, capturing their sense of fun and their love for one another perfectly.

The party goes on until late. Kurt and Finn set themselves up on the Xbox where they are joined by Sebastian and Wes. Nick and Jeff mainly eat, stopping occasionally to talk with Burt about cars. Santana and Rachel actually, for once, get along well and spend a lot of the time talking together and eating cheesecake. Blaine knows Santana would never admit to it, but he can see they care for one another deeply. He has the best time, flitting about and getting a chance to talk to anyone and everyone while eating almost continuously. Burt and Carole order him and Kurt to bed once all the guests have departed, insisting they can handle the washing up themselves, and they thank them profusely before happily closing the door. 

"I need your mouth on mine, now," Blaine demands as he pushes Kurt back onto the bed and kisses him hungrily. "You make me so happy." 

"I'm glad," Kurt smiles. "You deserved something special."

"I got it. I got you." 

"True," he laughs. "Now kiss me again." 

By the time the weekend is over, Kurt and Blaine are happy again. The dark cloud has lifted only to be replaced by sunshine so dazzling and bright it obliterates their view of anything except each other. Kurt's birthday comes and goes with Blaine lavishing time, attention and gifts on him followed by Thanksgiving which is spent with both sets of parents. Kurt is buried in study leading up to Christmas, and Blaine is busy with work, even traveling out of state again to play as a session musician at Kurt's insistence. 

"I'm a big boy now," he quips one Sunday afternoon. He is lying on the living room rug, propped up on his elbows as he attempts to read the chapter of his history book ready for his test the next day. "Besides, it's only two weeks until Christmas and I still have no idea what gift to get you. I can hit the mall with Santana and Rachel."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure," Kurt sighs with exasperation. "School is fine, home is fine, everything is fine."

"It'll only be three nights, and I'm in Nashville again. I can get back easily if you need me..."

"Blaine, I won't break." he snaps his book shut with a huff and sits up. "You're worried about leaving me yet you won't move to New York. I'm having a hard time trying to figure this one out." He storms from the room quickly, leaving a dumbfounded Blaine to try and work out what's going on in his own head and giving Kurt a chance to cool off. He finds him ten minutes later, sitting out on the back porch and shivering without a coat. Tugging him back inside, he wordlessly puts some milk into a pan and sets it to heat on the stove before he pulls Kurt into his arms, tucking his head down onto his shoulder for good measure. 

"I can't figure it out either," he says after a long while. "I wish I could offer an explanation."

"You don't have to. I'm sorry I snapped." 

"Hot chocolate?"

"With marshmallows?"

"Only if you can tell me all about the Crimean war," Blaine smiles as he kisses his forehead and all is..... Not forgotten, but buried just beneath the surface once more. 

When he returns at the end of the week, Blaine is fit to burst with excitement as he waits in the school parking lot for Kurt. They hurl themselves at one another as if they had been parted for weeks- not only a few days- and share frenzied kisses in between small laughs for no reason at all other than the joy that being together again brings. 

"I have something to ask you," Blaine grins, his breath puffing out in small clouds as he bundles Kurt up in a brand new burgundy scarf. 

"Okay Blaine," Kurt rolls his eyes fondly. "We've been through this. No proposal in the car, not in your brothers pool house and definitely not in the school parking lot."

"No..." he laughs. 

"And where did you get this beautiful scarf?" Kurt asks as he buries his face in it. "It goes so well with my..."

"Mid-length cashmere trench coat in pale gray melange," Blaine finishes for him. "I hoped it would."

"You still remember the full name?" Kurt laughs.

"Of course I do, I'll never forget it. Only now you have the smoked plaid leather cross body messenger bag to go with it," Blaine teases as he tugs lightly on the strap of Kurt's birthday gift from him.

"You do excel yourself when it comes to gifts," Kurt says with a soft smile.

"That's what I want to ask you."

"Oh?"

"Did you get my Christmas gift yet?"

"No," he flushes pink. "I went to the mall but I..."

"Come to Chicago with me for New Years," Blaine smiles. "It can be our gift to each other. I know how stubborn you are, so we can pay half each for the hotel if you want... But I also get to give you this," he says as he produces a ticket with a flourish. 

"What's this?" Kurt asks as he studies the ticket. "The orchestra again? That's cool, I liked it. But why is there only one?"

"Cause they've asked me to play with them!" Blaine shrieks as he picks Kurt up and twirls him around. 

"What? They..? What? Why? What? Holy crap Blaine!" Kurt's excitement matches Blaine's own as they spend a few moments jumping up and down with ear splitting grins on their faces before Kurt kisses him hard. "Tell me! Tell me everything." 

"Okay. In the car though, cause its freezing out here." Once he's driving with the heater on, Blaine grips Kurt's hand tightly. "So basically, the conductor called me, and said that he had been given my name as a possible replacement. Apparently their second violinist is going to Colorado for the holidays and won't be back for the concert, which is New Year's Day. He wanted me to go audition, but when I explained where I was he let me do it over Skype of all things, and now... Here I am," he laughs, still unable to believe the events of the last twenty four hours. 

"So you're thinking what? We go to Chicago on New Year's Eve?"

"I was kinda hoping before that actually," Blaine says shyly. "You see, the thing is... I can get tickets for my mom and dad and I..."

"Yes, Blaine. You don't even have to ask," he smiles warmly. "You know they're going to burst with pride. It's only right they come too. We can have a few days in Chicago just us, then celebrate New Years with them. Oh, and just to warn you, my dad will cry when you tell him." 

"I can get tickets for them, too."

And so it is that Kurt and Blaine find themselves spending New Years not only with both sets of parents but Cooper and his family too, who have made the trip especially to watch Blaine fulfill his lifelong ambition. They make a loud presence in the hotel restaurant, but Kurt and Blaine themselves are quiet, nudging each other with teasing reminders of this time last year but also mindful of what is to come. Their lovemaking is affectionate and tender that night, soft caresses which in turn elicit long drawn out moans. Kurt keeps his body pressed as close to Blaine as possible while gently bringing them both to quivering orgasm, which leaves him with tears on his cheeks- tears that he quickly wipes away before Blaine can catch them. 

"Quit pacing," he says from the bed the next day as a pajama clad Blaine wanders repeatedly around their room.

"Nervous." His one word explanation is not really necessary- Kurt knows all too well how restless he's been the entire night. 

"It's nine hours until it starts, Blaine. You need to occupy your time until then. Let's go for a walk then we can come back and have lunch with everyone." 

"What if I mess up?" Blaine asks fearfully as they walk along the lakeside.

"You won't," Kurt reassures. "You've practiced almost solidly since you were asked. Just remember, I'm there. Metaphorically holding your hand and kissing your neck just the way you like."

"I'm not sure that will help," Blaine laughs.

"It would distract you," Kurt offers. He stops and pulls Blaine to him. They're both bulky, wrapped in thick coats, scarves and hats but he bundles his arms around him as best he can. "I am so incredibly proud of you," he says with a beaming smile. "Tonight will be the best night of your entire life. You deserve this more than anyone I know. This city is a magical place for us, and I'm so glad we got to come back for such an amazing reason. I love you, old man."

"Thank you," Blaine chokes out with a nod. "I want you to be proud of me more than anything so..."

"I am. And I always will be." 

The concert is a success. It does take a pep talk from Blaine's dad, and constant kisses and hugs from Kurt to actually get Blaine to the venue in the first place, but he strides out confidently with the rest of the orchestra to take his place, offering a beaming smile in the direction of Kurt once the first piece has finished. All parents cry, Burt not even attempting to hide as he wipes his eyes and tells anyone who will listen that the second violinist is his future son-in-law. Cooper and Claire sit with the twins, who are silenced into submission by watching their uncle play as if his life depended on it. And Kurt.... Well Kurt sits proudly throughout. Ramrod straight, eyes fixed on his boyfriend, heart bursting with pride yet racing with fear. He leaps to his feet at the end, and he knows Blaine has seen him by the way his eyes light up. They linger in the foyer afterward, until Blaine emerges chatting happily to two other members. When he spots his family however, he bids farewell and runs to them, catching the twins who are now nearly as tall as him before he is engulfed by everyone else. 

"Darling, I just... I am so proud!" his mom cries happily. "So proud! You looked wonderful. Carole and I kept squeezing each others hands as you played, and of course, your father cried."

"Of course I did!" Mike booms as he hugs Blaine tight. "We came here when you were seven, Blaine, and I remember you telling me then that you wanted to play with them one day. So twenty six years later you got your wish."

"I loved it," Burt says as it becomes his turn to hug him. "You looked so happy out there. I mean, orchestras aren't usually my thing but watching you made it that much better...and I think there's one guy who's waiting patiently to get his hands on you," he whispers as Blaine turns and catches sight of Kurt. He stands off to one side, holding a bunch of yellow and red roses and smiling indulgently at him. Blaine holds his arms open and it's all the invitation he needs. The flowers fall to the floor, long forgotten as he runs and leaps into his boyfriends embrace and kisses him fiercely. 

"You may be old, but you still get my heart fluttering when you wear a tux," Kurt teases lightly as he tugs at his bow tie. "And I do like your cufflinks," he smiles as he sees the music notes shining bright under the stark lights. "Blaine, I want you to know that you were incredible. I am bursting with pride right now," he says with a kiss to his cheek. 

"I think champagne is called for!" Cooper calls loudly, slinging his arms around Kurt and Blaine as they walk toward the hotel. "Kurt...you'll have to sit in the children's corner with Taylor and Maddie," he jokes, laughing at the playful punch to his stomach Kurt offers. "But the rest of us will have an extra glass on your behalf." 

"You were right, you know," Blaine muses that night as they lie sated in one another's arms.

"About what?" a sleepy Kurt asks against his chest.

"This city is magical. But you were wrong about one thing."

"Oh?" 

"Tonight wasn't the best night of my entire life. Nothing will ever compare to our first kiss, or the first time we made love. So many nights have been the best night of my life.... And they're all nights I've spent with you."

"It's been a pretty good year," Kurt smiles against his skin.

"It has."

"Do you think this year will be our year too?"

"I hope so, Kurt. I really hope so."


	41. Chapter 41

"I got an audition!" Kurt yells happily down the phone to Blaine two weeks later. "Oh my god Blaine! NYADA want me to audition! Can you believe it? What will I sing? Oh goodness. Will I have to dance? Maybe I could ask Mike if he'd help me. And what to wear? I mean..."

"Kurt!" Blaine's tone is firm as he cuts him off. "Congratulations," he says eventually, trying not to let his rising panic make itself known. "I'll take you out tonight to celebrate."

"Thank you!" Kurt squeaks happily. "Oh, we can talk about song choices. I was wondering...." 

Blaine tunes out, allowing his mind to wander as he gives way to his unease and allows himself to cry quietly, resting his forehead against the cool dark wood of the piano as he tries to hide his sobs. He knew it of course, knew that at least one of the courses would want to audition such a talented young man, but their happy denial- which had lasted for a blissful three months- had suddenly shattered, exposing them both to harsh reality once more. 

"Blaine?" Kurt's voice brings him back to the present day. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Huh? Oh, yes. Yes I am. Um.... What were you saying?"

"I said this is it, Blaine. This is the start of our future."

The fear and all encompassing dread that threatens to swallow Blaine whole only builds over the next few weeks as Kurt becomes obsessed with perfecting every aspect of his audition. He spends numerous hours in Blaine's music room with him sitting at the piano as they try a variety of different songs. Blaine does his best, comforting, reassuring and telling him what works and what doesn't, but Kurt is picky, telling Blaine with exasperation time and time again that he needs to find the perfect song. 

"I'll know it, when we find it," he says as he flicks idly through yet more sheet music.

"Why don't we just go to bed?" Blaine asks quietly. "It's nearly three."

"Music of the night!" Kurt says triumphantly as he ignores Blaine completely. "Let's try it. From the top, maestro, please."

"I know exactly what you should sing," Blaine says wearily after Kurt has declared Phantom inappropriate for NYADA's requirements. "....If you want my opinion." 

"I'll take anything at this point," Kurt moans as he holds his head on his hands. "Go on."

"Wake Me Up Inside." Blaine says, choking back tears at the powerful memories it emits. "It's beautiful, you sound amazing, you know the lyrics and it showcases your vocal talents perfectly. It's your song."

"Blaine..." Kurt looks up as a slow smile forms on his face. "You're a genius." 

"Come on," Santana leads Blaine through the doors holding his hand tightly. They make their way into the back row of the auditorium and wait for the auditions to start. Finn and Mr. Schue come bundling in, nodding their hello's and settling a couple of rows in front. "You know... I guess you could always hope he chokes," Santana says nonchalantly. 

"What?" Blaine cries. "Santana that's awful. Why would I ever want that for him? I want him to nail it, so he can hold his head high and say 'I did my best,' whatever the outcome."

"I thought you didn't want him to go?"

"That's not true," he snaps. "I don't want to be parted from him, no. But I want him to achieve his dreams. I love him. I'm....oh fuck. I'm torn," he says desperately as he turns to face her. "I want him to do well for him...but for me?..... I don't know."

"Why did you suggest that song?" she asks.

"Because I knew it would give him his best shot."

"You know you sealed your own fate, don't you?"

"I know." He nods and sighs, resting his head on her shoulder. "But who am I to hold him back?" 

Rachel goes first, and Blaine finds himself beaming with pride as she hits every note, times every step to perfection and recites her monologue expertly. Kurt steps onto the stage nervously, giving a timid wave at Ms. Tipedaux before casting a quick glance upward, toward where he knows Blaine will be sitting. 

"H-hi," he says nervously. "My name is Kurt Hummel and I'll be auditioning for the role of NYADA student." 

"I'm gonna throw up," Blaine whispers as Kurt starts on his Shakespeare. 

"No you're not," Santana whispers back firmly. "You're gonna sit here with me, watch your boyfriend get accepted into the most prestigious performing arts college in America and then after, you and I are gonna work out how the fuck we're supposed to face our futures alone."

"I don't want to be alone," he hisses at her, horrified. "I have no intention of breaking up with Kurt."

"Whatever. You will be, when he realizes you're not moving to New York." 

"He knows that. I've told him enough times."

"For a grown man of thirty three you're a fucking moron sometimes," she says as she rolls her eyes. "Kurt's a dreamer. He's not given up. He's just hoping you'll change your mind."

Blaine sits, stricken as he watches his boyfriend of two years dancing his heart out on the stage. "I'm gonna break his heart," he murmurs. 

"Pretty much."

"I'm definitely gonna throw up," he says as he runs to the door.

"You nailed it!" Blaine yells, plastering his best smile onto his face and scooping Kurt into his arms. "Kurt I am so proud of you, my gorgeous boy. They'll be begging you to attend, I just know it."

"I hope so," Kurt laughs, finally releasing all his pent up adrenaline. "Oh god Blaine, it went so well! Too well! What if they say no?"

"They won't. They couldn't."

"So now we wait, I guess," Kurt sighs. 

"That's okay," Blaine smiles as he kisses the tip of his nose. "You've got plenty to keep you busy. Regionals, then hopefully nationals, then there's the small matter of graduation..." 

"And you," Kurt points out.

"Me?"

"You can keep me occupied I'm sure," he teases, running his fingers over the buttons on his shirt.

"Not right now Kurt, okay?" Blaine says as he takes his hands away.

"You okay?" Kurt's face furrows into a frown as Blaine leans agains the wall and looks down the corridor.

"Yeah. I just... I'm just gonna take off. Leave you to celebrate with your friends. I'll call you later. You did great today," he says with a tight smile. Not giving Kurt a chance to argue, he walks swiftly down the hall, not stopping until he is outside where he takes great lungfuls of air and tries to keep his emotions in check until he reaches the car. 

"What's with Blaine?" Rachel asks as she joins Kurt in staring after his retreating back. 

"I don't think I'm gonna change his mind," he whispers fearfully.

"Oh Kurt," Rachel sighs as she puts an arm around his waist. "You need to talk with him."

"No. We agreed, we would discuss it when we knew for sure." 

"But you do know for sure," Santana says as she stands on his other side. "You know you'll get into at least one of those colleges. You two need to sit down and have this out."

"But I don't think... What if he won't move? What do I do then?" 

"Then you have a plan B ready and waiting," Rachel says decisively. 

"For once I agree," Santana smiles. 

Blaine jumps about a foot when someone taps on his window, and is even more surprised when Will Schuester opens the passenger door. 

"Can I get in?" he asks nervously.

"I guess," Blaine shrugs non committally. 

"So.... You don't want to go to New York."

"No."

"Can I ask why?"

Blaine sighs, running a hand through his normally pristine hair. "I had...some really bad stuff happen there when I was younger, and I have no wish to move there and be reminded of that everyday." 

"So it's not Kurt?"

"No!" He pauses, trying to think how to phrase his feelings. "When he first mentioned it I'll admit I thought it would be better for him to go alone. And I'm still feeding him that line," he smiles ruefully. "But we've been together two years and we want to stay together. It makes perfect sense for me to go with him. I just...can't."

"Why are you telling him to go alone?" Will asks in confusion, "if you can see it makes sense for you to go?"

"Because it's New York."

"So... What exactly happened?"

"My ex-boyfriend committed suicide," Blaine says with a heavy sigh. "Then left a note telling me not to blame myself."

"Wow. That's heavy." A long silence fills the car as they both watch the students changing classes. Eventually Will looks at him again. "I get why that's tough," he starts slowly. "But.... I think you need to bite the bullet here."

"That was a really poor choice of words," Blaine says as he stares.

"Sorry."

"Do you know what it's like, to be left with a note like that?" Blaine snaps at him. "It's like... If someone says to you 'don't look down,' what's the first thing you're gonna do? I blamed myself then, I blame myself now and I will always blame myself."

"Have you ever thought that he meant you to take that note at face value?" Will asks. "That maybe, in a moment of picture perfect clarity, he could see that he wanted his life to end but didn't want anyone to feel guilt or remorse? That maybe he really didn't want you to blame yourself because he himself didn't blame you? You're not looking down my friend," he says with a pat to his shoulder. "You're looking backwards. Over your shoulder all the time, when you should be looking out front." 

He leaves the car quietly, and Blaine sits alone with his thoughts. 

"Do you want to tell me what that was all about?" Kurt asks as he walks into Blaine's house that evening. 

"I...I just want you to hold me." He sobs once and then is crying hard as Kurt rushes to him, holding him as tight as he possible, guiding him to the couch and kissing away the never ending stream of tears as best he can. "I don't know what I'm going to do," Blaine cries into Kurt's collar. "What we're going to do." 

"Neither do I," he admits softly, letting his own tears fall. Neither knows how much time elapses as they cradle one another and cry together, but long after, when Kurt's fingers trace idle patterns over Blaine's back, and sobs have given way to occasional sniffles, Kurt asks him "Do you want to talk about it?" 

"No," Blaine says decisively. "I want to take my beautiful boyfriend to bed and celebrate the fact he can deliver Shakespeare like a pro, sing like an angel and dance like the devil," he smiles even though his eyes are bloodshot and swollen. "I was so proud of you, Kurt. Really. Whatever may or may not happen now, know that I am proud." 

"Thank you, and likewise," Kurt says, cupping his face tenderly. "I'm all yours." 

By the time the New Directions have advanced to nationals, Kurt and Blaine have become experts in burying their fears and misgivings and hiding behind happy, upbeat facades. They are happy of course, happy with each other and secure in their love, but they never delve deeper, continually glossing over any talk of college with the same old lines about not deciding until a firm offer is made. 

Kurt can't hide his anxiousness at not hearing from NYADA. He had thought an offer would come quicker. The Actors studio had given a straight up no, and he had turned down the offer to audition for the AAD. NYU had placed him on a possible reserves list meaning Kurt now had all his metaphorical eggs in one basket. 

Blaine doesn't know what to feel. He wants, desperately, to see the look of delight on Kurt's face when he opens his acceptance letter.... But on the other hand, if it's a rejection.... He can barely keep his thoughts contained, wanting desperately to advise Kurt to apply to Chicago college of performing arts instead. But he doesn't. Instead, he finds himself helping Will Schuester out with the arrangements of the chosen numbers for nationals- and for some inexplicable reason he winds up coaching Rachel and Santana in their duet. 

"They never stop arguing," he moans to Kurt over sushi that night. "Who has the better lines, who's singing more of the harmony...Don't ever ask me for twin girls, cause its not happening."

"I'm pretty sure you can't pick," Kurt laughs, nudging against him affectionately. "Besides, our kids would be perfect. I love Rachel dearly but she can be a brat and Santana... Well, she's just Santana."

"Agreed."

"Good luck to them in New York," Kurt smiles. "They seem to think they can live together." 

"Oh I think they can," Blaine muses, then abruptly changes the subject to nationals once more. "So, Schue announces the solo tomorrow."

"Yeah, but I don't think I stand much chance." Kurt sighs. "I mean, I appreciate Schue holding auditions, but I lost out to Tina for regionals. Tina never sings solo."

"Which is why it's fairer this way around," Blaine points out. "She had a chance to do something that otherwise she wouldn't. Same for you. I hope. Besides, if you ask me, you will get the solo and you will win nationals."

"Why do you say that?"

"It's in Chicago. Our magical city."

Blaine is right on both counts. Kurt gets offered the solo, and the New Directions triumph with Kurt at the helm singing Wake Me Up Inside. Blaine stands in the audience, cheering proudly for his beautiful boyfriend at the end of his song, and Kurt finds him in the crowd to mouth 'for you,' at him, which has tears pricking at his eyes until Burt offers him a handkerchief. They return to Lima that night, and after a celebration party at Breadstix they fall up the steps to the door of Kurt's house, giggling and feeling light headed with Kurt's success.

"I love you so much," Blaine whispers urgently against Kurt's lips. "I want you."

"I want you too," Kurt pauses in the act of unlocking the door to kiss him fervently. "Upstairs. Now." But as he pushes the door wide he comes face to face with Burt, Carole, Rachel and Finn all waiting for him. "What's wrong?" he asks as his heart begins to pound.

"We got our letters," Rachel explains as she hands him an envelope. 

"No," he whispers fearfully. "I'm not ready for this," he looks to the faces of his family in panic and then at Blaine who pulls him to his side and holds him tight. 

"You are ready," he reassures. "You've been waiting for this moment."

"You do it," he says, pushing the letter into Blaine's hands. "I can't." 

He looks at Rachel, who nods and starts to open her envelope, and with shaking hands Blaine tears through the paper and unfolds the letter. 

"I got in," Rachel says quietly then falls into Finn's arms in happy relief. 

Kurt keeps his eyes screwed shut, gripping his dad’s hand as tight as he can until he feels Blaine squeezing his shoulder. "Kurt, Kurt. Open your eyes. You got in. You're going to NYADA."


	42. Chapter 42

"I'm...I'm...," Kurt trails off, unable to form the sentence he's looking for, but Blaine is there, smiling and nodding as if all his dreams have come true as well.

"You did it, my gorgeous boy. You did it."

"I did it!" Kurt says, voice firmer this time. "Dad, I did it." 

"I knew you could, my son," he booms cheerily. "I never doubted." Holding his son tightly, he can't help but look over his shoulder at Blaine who stands, head bowed and clutching the piece of paper so hard his knuckles turn white. Carole and Finn are busy with Rachel, and Burt becomes vaguely aware of Finn mentioning the University of Lima, but Blaine stands as still as a statue, off to one side and completely alone. The second Kurt is out of his dad’s arms however, Burt notes the way in which Blaine forces himself to life once more, plastering a huge smile on his face and squeezing Kurt tight, shutting his eyes in an attempt to block out the world around them. 

The night turns late, Finn and Rachel depart to her house but Kurt and Blaine sit at the kitchen table with Carole and Burt. Kurt is unstoppable, and rightly so. Riding high on the wave of his success, he rambles on happily about his course, the subjects he will be studying, the people he hopes to meet and his dreams for the future. 

"....Because by then, I hope Blaine and I will be married," he says with a playful nudge in Blaine's side. "And living in the suburbs would be a much better place to raise children anyway."

"I've never heard you talk like this, honey," Carole says warmly. "I'm so happy for you both. It's wonderful to hear you have your future all mapped out, but we're going to miss you so much."

"Oh we'll be back," Kurt smiles as Burt looks across the table once more at Blaine who stares at his hands folded in his lap. "Holidays, Thanksgiving.... You'll be sick of the sight of us," he jokes.

"Kurt, I think you should go to bed now," Burt says abruptly, standing and collecting their mugs. "It's late, and Blaine looks exhausted."

"Huh? What? No, no. I'm okay," Blaine mutters as his cheeks burn.

"Aw, Blaine," Kurt teases. "You can't take a late night at your age," he smiles, standing and offering his hand. "C'mon." 

"I'll see you in the morning, Blaine," Burt calls after him, and whether it's a threat or a promise Blaine doesn't know.

“Are you okay?” Kurt asks with genuine concern as he rolls off the top of Blaine and turns onto his side.

“Yeah...Just really tired,” Blaine laughs but it’s full of nerves as he fiddles with the drawstring on his pajama pants. 

“Cause we’ve been making out for over an hour now and...” he gestures to Blaine’s groin, “not a lot is going on.”

“Like I said. Tired.” he mumbles as he blushes hard. 

“But you were horny as hell when we got home.” Kurt tries to keep his tone light and airy but he can't help the flicker of hurt which crosses his features as Blaine sighs and turns his back. 

“That was two hours ago,” he snaps. “And it was late enough then. It’s almost two in the morning now, I just want to sleep.”

“Time’s never stopped you before,” Kurt mutters. 

“Will you just leave it?” Blaine flares as he spins around to face him. “I’m not in the mood for sex, okay?”

“Okay,” Kurt says quietly. “Sorry.”

“S’okay,” Blaine asquicises. “I’m sorry for snapping. I’ll be brighter when I’ve had some sleep. C’mere.” He holds his arm out to Kurt who snuggles into his side, though Blaine can feel that he is still tense and guarded. “I’m really happy for you,” he whispers into Kurt’s soft hair as he turns out the light. “New York won’t know what’s hit them.” 

“Blaine, I...”

“Not now, Kurt,” he begs with tears playing in his voice. “Please, not now."

"But when?" he asks, lifting his head to stare at him in the dark. 

"Soon.... I guess. But just...not right now."

Burt Hummel knows Blaine well enough by now. He knows that he is always the first to rise when he stays with them, although Kurt teases that he's lazy and grumpy in the mornings at his own place. He knows where to find him too, on the old, worn couch in the den clutching a cup of coffee and reading the morning newspaper. He pours his own coffee and walks into the den, surprised today to find Blaine hurriedly wiping away tears as the newspaper sits on the coffee table, forgotten. 

"Wanna tell me what's going on?" he asks as he sits down next to him. 

"Couldn't sleep," Blaine explains in a rough voice. "I'm on my second cup already," he says, gesturing to his mug. "I've been sitting here since five." 

"I meant what's going on on that head of yours," Burt clarifies, though he knows Blaine understood perfectly the first time. 

"I'm not moving to New York," he whispers, as if saying it any louder would cause the heavens to strike him.

"I see."

"And I don't know how to tell Kurt."

"I would have thought you should've discussed this long before now," Burt says. "It's a month until graduation. He'll be gone a few short weeks after that." 

"Don't you think I know that?" he snaps, then quickly apologizes. "Sorry. It's just... I'm gonna break his heart and I think it will be the end of us." 

"If you don't wanna go, then you don't have to go," Burt reasons. 

"But I don't want to be apart from Kurt. I mean... I want to give him room to grow, to become a man and all that but..."

"But he can still do that with you by his side."

"Yes."

"Does he have any idea that you're not going?"

"I've told him on and off for the past year, but I think he's still hopeful I'll change my mind."

"And you're not going to?"

"No." 

"Then tell him. Tell him now- today- so that it gives you two the best chance of working things out before he leaves. Otherwise you'll part on a bad note, and that will be hard to come back from once there's six hundred miles between you."

"I don't think I can," he whispers again as he starts to cry.

"You've never given me cause to be disappointed in you, Blaine," Burt says as he puts an arm around his shoulders. "But if you mess this up I will be," he carries on. "Not just for Kurt, either. But because I love you both and I know you're meant to be. Why jepordize the best thing to happen to both of you, just because you were too fearful to talk to one another?" 

"What if I lose him?" Blaine sobs harder than ever as he buries his face in his hands. 

"At least you'll know you fought to keep him," Burt offers. He stands then, gripping Blaine's shoulder firmly. "Come on. Get dressed. Kurt will be sleeping for hours yet. You can come to the shop with me."

"N-no thanks," he smiles weakly through his tears. "I'm just gonna go home."

"It wasn't an offer, it was an order." Burt states as he pulls Blaine into a hug. "And you're buying the muffins."

Over the next few weeks, Kurt and Blaine begin a tactile dance of avoidance. Without further discussion, they make sure that they are almost never alone, sharing dinners with family and friends, going on dates to the movies where conversation is hardly necessary or making weak excuses to one another about why they can't meet. Eventually, only a week before his graduation, Kurt decides enough is enough.

"I'm coming over tonight," he tells Blaine down the phone. "We'll cook dinner together, talk things through and whatever else happens, we will be having sex." 

Blaine laughs, even though his heart is pounding at the thought. "Oh really?"

"Really." 

"God I've missed you," he sighs heavily with relief. "What are we doing here? Why are we doing this to ourselves?"

"I don't know." Kurt blinks back tears as he walks to his locker and takes his books ready for the next class. "I'll skip last period and be to you as soon as I can." 

Blaine is ready and waiting, dressed in only his pants as he opens the door and pulls Kurt to him, finding his lips and claiming them in a deep searing kiss which leaves them both breathless. 

"Fuck... I need this," Kurt whines, broken and needy as he rolls his body against Blaine, who kicks the front door closed and tugs him up the stairs, kissing him all the while. 

"Yes.... Yes," Blaine moans as Kurt's hands find their way down the back of his pants and squeeze roughly. "Kurt... I love you so much." 

"You too." He tumbles back onto the bed and lets Blaine strip him down to his underwear quickly, pushing his hips upwards, subconsciously begging for Blaine to touch him. He groans loudly when Blaine presses all his weight on top of him and immediately grinds into him. "Talking can come later," he says hotly as he nips at Blaine's neck. "I know we need to work through stuff but..." he rolls Blaine over and tackles his fly with ease "right now we....oh." He looks down at Blaine who bites his lip and turns his head to the side, staring at the night stand as Kurt tries to figure out what to do. "Um... I thought you..."

"I did. I do," he says, face stinging with shame. "I'm just...I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry," Kurt says softly. "Maybe if I just...I don't know. I could..." he trails off as he runs his hand over the soft bulge in Blaine's briefs which had been rock hard only moments before, but stops when Blaine winces under his touch. "I could... You could watch me for a bit?" he offers, but Blaine shakes his head quickly. 

"I'll um... Let me touch you," he pleads, relieved when Kurt nods and lies back against the pillows. He falls between Kurt's legs eagerly, lowering his shorts and quickly stroking him back to full hardness. He sinks his mouth down around Kurt's cock, who cries out as he tangles his fingers into Blaine's hair. 

"Fuck! Oh yes, Blaine, yes!" Kurt is desperate, tugging hard on Blaine's hair, which would normally have him stroking himself frantically, but his hands remain tight on Kurt's hips and he doesn't make a sound as he listens to Kurt come undone. He pushes two fingers into Kurt's mouth then trails them down to his hole, smiling around his cock as Kurt emits a filthy moan. Teasing and sucking, he fingers Kurt frantically as he takes him deep in his throat and is rewarded with feeling his boyfriend's orgasm shudder through him, manifesting itself in his mouth. He pulls away and swallows then walks wordlessly to the bathroom, returning moments later with a washcloth and towel where he proceeds to clean Kurt gently before tossing them in the hamper and curling on the bed next to him. 

"Here...let me," Kurt offers as he moves his hand to Blaine's still open pants. 

"No...it's okay. I'm um...I'm good," Blaine replies nervously. "In fact I should probably go change my pants...yeah," he huffs out a shaking laugh before he runs to his closet, grabbing the first pair of pants he can find before locking himself in the bathroom. 

After ten minutes, Kurt calls out to him tentatively. "Blaine? Honey? Are you okay?"

Inside the bathroom, Blaine lies on the floor, curled up in a ball as silent sobs shake his body. He bites hard on his knuckles until he can trust his voice, but even when he does speak it wavers. "I'm just gonna shower."

Kurt leans his forehead against the door, trying to calm the panic within. Blaine is crying, but whether it's over the debacle in bed or over what's to come, he does not know. "Blaine, do you want to let me in? Please? I think... I think you need me right now."

"No."

"Blaine? Please. We can talk about this."

"No we can't!" he yells, suddenly pulling open the door. "That's the thing! We can't talk about anything because I don't even know where to start! And I thought we were okay again. I wanted you," he cries desperately. "I wanted you so much and I thought that maybe...after we had reconnected like...that," he says, gesturing toward the bed, "that we would be in a better place to figure us out. But I'm so fucking old, and broken, and tired, that I can't even stay hard for my beautiful boy!"

"Blaine," Kurt laments as he takes a tentative step towards him. "Oh Blaine... None of that matters. And you can anyway. We've never had this problem before because we've never had problems. But right now, we do. And we need to work this out right here, right now."

"No," Blaine gulps and swipes at his nose. Gathering Kurt's pants, shirt and shoes, he thrusts them at him, spins him around and urges him to the bedroom door. "Not right now. Just... I think it's better if you go. We can talk another time."

"No, Blaine," Kurt stands defiant. "I'm not going anywhere, and this won't be done another time."

"It can wait."

"How long Blaine?" Kurt yells, finally losing his cool as he quickly pulls his clothes on. "How fucking long? Cause it's been weeks, months! And now it's upon us, our future is here and we have no clue what we're supposed to be doing!" 

"Just go, Kurt. Please," Blaine implores. "I don't want this discussion while we're angry at each other. Please. I'm begging you." 

"Fine," he snaps, trying to save face and not let Blaine see the tears of hurt that threaten. "I'll go. Talk when you're ready, but don't expect me to hang around for long." 

Kurt doesn't go home. He drives around aimlessly until dinner time has long since passed and he sits alone in an empty parking lot, trying to figure out where he should go or who he should talk to. He arrives at his decision and sets the car on its course, pulling up after twenty minutes outside a smart condo. 

"I'd ask how you knew where I lived, but we all rememebr that fiasco," Wes smiles. His face falls as he takes in the dishevelled appearance of the normally immaculate Kurt. His face is puffy, his shirt is untucked and crumpled and his hair sticks out any and every which way. 

"Oh shit. You had the talk." Wes pulls his door open wide and ushers Kurt into the living room.

"No," Kurt draws a shaking breath as he falls onto the couch. "We didn't. That's the problem." 

"You guys are just..."

"Wes, I need to talk to you about something."

"Anything, Kurt. You know that."

"It's...I don't really know where to start. It's kinda embarrassing."

"Kurt, you had a box full of sex toys shipped to my house. I think we're past the awkward phase." Wes laughs loudly but stops abruptly when he sees Kurt break down and cry. "Come here," he sighs. "Come hug Wes and tell me all about it." 

Kurt falls gratefully into his embrace, and just lets go. He doesn't know how long he cries for, but he knows it's getting dark by the time he feels able to actually talk, and Wes eventually extracts himself from Kurt's desperate grip to turn lights on and make the poor boy a sandwich. 

"So."

"He won't talk to me," Kurt says as he picks at the bread. "I tried to make him and he kicked me out."

"Blaine is hopeless. He's great at the good stuff, but he cannot deal with any kind of angst at all." 

"He...we...," Kurt breathes out then back in again, expelling the air quickly as he rushes out his words. "We haven't had sex in nearly two months."

"Um...Okay," Wes says slowly. "And you think this is because.....?"

"Because he can't...oh crap. He'll kill me for telling you. He can't...um..."

"Get it up?"

"Yes. Or rather, he sometimes can but it's keeping it there that's the problem."

"I'm gonna need a little more to go on," Wes says kindly, mindful of how excruciating this is for Kurt to talk about. "And don't feel like you're betraying Blaine. I will never breathe a word of this conversation to anyone, I swear."

"Well it started not long after my NYADA audition. My fault probably. We've always had... Um..."

"Loads of sex? I had noticed." 

"No! That's the thing. Not everyday or anything, because I don't live with him and we go out on dates and things, but we've always made the most of the time we do have. Like the weekends for example, it's like...quite a lot. But after my audition I had a ton of study to catch up on, I had fallen behind a little because I'd been immersed in doing that. So there wasn't really time, and then it was nationals and all we'd done for two weeks was quick blowjobs in my room while Carole was cooking dinner, and each time he had done it to me but never the other way around, he'd just move my hands away and claim there wasn't time."

"Oh." 

Kurt blushes bright, brilliant scarlet as he struggles to continue. "So...then I got my acceptance letter. And that night... Well, he just couldn't. We were in bed, making out for an hour. But his heart wasn't in it, I could tell. His kisses were...distracted I guess. As if his mind was elsewhere."

"Which it probably was," Wes points out. 

"I know, but even so. He has...a thing...about having his hair pulled. So I was there, kissing him, and I'm just in my pajama pants, blatantly rubbing against him but...nothing. Since then he's been avoiding me like the plague until I told him in no uncertain terms that I was coming over and we were going to have sex and talk about everything."

"Not interested?"

"Very interested, that's what I don't get. He was half undressed and...um...hard. Like, really desperate. It was all going really well and then suddenly I went to touch him and noticed that he wasn't...um...alert, so to speak. But he wanted to carry on so... Oh hell.... He went down on me and then tried to make out as if he'd... y'know. As if he'd had an orgasm himself, when he obviously hadn't. He just lied to escape me touching him."

"What were you doing?" Wes asks thoughtfully. "Right before your hand went there, what were you doing?"

"Um...he was kissing my neck and then I rolled him over."

"And Blaine was responding as normal?" 

"He was going for it. And I was too. I told him I knew we needed to talk but we both needed that first."

"Hold up. When did you tell him?"

"When he was kissing my neck." 

"Kurt. Let me explain something. You're eighteen. Your blood rushes south on an almost hourly basis. And when you want it, you're going to get it and nothing's gonna persuade you otherwise. By the time you reach your thirties that rush has passed. You want it, you're gonna get it but...hold up. Did I remember to take the trash out? Feed the cat? Is there enough money in the bank this month? And bam. You've forgotten exactly what it was you wanted. And those are all minor issues. This is huge. You two have massive decisions to make, questions need to be asked and answered. Blaine isn't going to be able to perform with that weighing on his mind. It's not your fault," he reassures. "So don't go blaming yourself, but you should have talked before rushing up the stairs." 

"I guess. Oh shit, Wes, I really don't want to have this conversation."

"But you know you must."

"I'm frightened."

"I think you know what he's going to say, don't you?" he asks as he puts his arm around Kurt's shoulders.

"I do, but I just need to hear him say it. Then I can work out how to get him to change his mind." 

"Kurt..." 

"I know. But I need to know I tried."

"Then go talk to your man," Wes says with a smile. 

"Can't I stay here?"

"You can," Wes shrugs. "You're always welcome. But I think you know you wouldn't get much sleep. Go to him Kurt. You both need each other right now." 

Kurt hugs Wes warmly at the door, thanking him for his time and advice. "Anytime. I mean it Kurt. I'm a friend to both of you, okay?"

"Thank you."

"Let me know how it goes." 

The house is in darkness when he returns, and Kurt is crestfallen after having given himself a stern pep talk on the way over. Assuming Blaine is in bed, he creeps towards the stairs, jumping with a gasp when a voice comes from the living room.

"I'm in here."

"You scared me," Kurt admonishes as he steps into the room.

"Sorry."

"In more ways than one."

"I'm sorry for that, too." 

"Can I turn a light on?" Kurt makes out Blaine's shrug and flips the table lamp on, moving to kneel on the floor between his boyfriends legs. Blaine doesn't look good. In fact, he looks positively sick with worry and Kurt finds himself kissing his forehead softly before taking a hold of both his hands. 

"Blaine, I love you so very, very much," he begins gently. "But we've been dancing around this issue for months now- and I know that's partly due to my insistence. I need to ask you outright though, because I need to know for sure.... Will you come to New York with me?"

Kurt feels as if he waits for all eternity, but eventually Blaine draws a shaking, trembling breath and forces himself to look Kurt in the eye. 

"No."


	43. Chapter 43

"No?" Kurt repeats. The word hangs between them, it seems to echo around the room and shatter their fragile peace as Blaine grips Kurt's hand tightly.

"I can't. I'm sorry Kurt. You need to do this yourself."

"But I...."

"There's so much there, waiting for you to discover," he smiles, though his heart is shattering. "... Cafes, bars, parks, museums.... Just waiting. And you know, Santana and Rachel will be right there with you. Quinn will just be a train ride away..."

"But we could do all that together, Blaine. I don't get..."

"I'll still be here, waiting. I'm not going to finish with you, but I am setting you free," he says with a heavy heart. "You're free to do what you want, with whom you want."

"What? You're telling me I can sleep around with your permission?"

"If that's what you want," Blaine nods without looking up.

"What happened to not sharing?"

"I don't want to share," he cries. "That's the last thing I want. But I also don't want you to meet people that you might be attracted to in some way, or want to experiment with and be tied to a miserable man in his mid thirties back in Ohio!" 

"So that's what all this is about? Your age?" Kurt storms. "It was my age in the beginning and now it's yours. Well guess what? I don't give a shit what fucking number you are, I care whether you can love me the way I need to be loved by you. You're giving me your 'permission' to experiment?" he sneers, "Blaine, you don't know me at all if you think I would want to do that. At all. You have really hurt me with that."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. It was never my intention to hurt you in any of this..."

"Really? Well you're doing a damn good job at it."

"Kurt, listen to me. I mean what I say. I will always be here. I will always love you, and I still want to spend the rest of my life with you..."

"Except for the next three years, evidently," he snaps.

"We'll still see each other."

"Will you visit?"

"There's holidays, weekends," Blaine rambles on. "The summer! That's long. We can go to LA, Hawaii again if we choose or..."

"Blaine, will you visit me in New York?" Kurt asks in a low voice.

"Time will fly and before you know it you'll be graduating. And the day you do, I promise you I'll be ready and waiting to travel if you still want to do that...."

"Answer my fucking question!" Kurt yells loudly. "Will you visit me in New York?"

Blaine stares at the floor as for the second time that evening, he breaks Kurt's heart with a small shake of his head.

"Then I don't think we have anything else to say to each other." 

"No, no don't say that!" Blaine implores, rushing to his feet as Kurt stands. "Please Kurt, please. We can work this out!"

"I don't know if we can," he says sadly. "I want to try," he offers as he stares at his shoes. "But I'm just not sure of how to go about that right now. I'm... I'm gonna go."

"C-can I call you?" Blaine asks as tears stream down his face.

"No. Let me contact you when I'm ready, okay?"

"Kurt....I love you."

"And I love you too." Kurt's voice cracks and he sniffs as he tries to regain control. "I just hope it will be enough." 

*

"Hey Hummel!" Santana calls as she walks down the hallway on Monday morning. "Wanna explain to me why I've spent the entire weekend with your boyfriend's head on my breasts?" 

"Santana, please," Kurt whispers as people stop rummaging in their lockers and turn to stare instead. "Not here." 

"In here then," she replies, forcibly dragging him into the nearest classroom. "Kurt, he's a wreck."

"And you don't think I am?" he snaps, pointing to his puffy and raw face. "This is my final week of school. It's graduation on Friday. Do you think this was how I pictured it? He's killing me."

"Kurt...I know," Santana says, her tone softening as she lays a comforting hand on his arm. "You need to call him. Please. I don't think he's slept, and I've never seen one man consume as much whiskey as he did."

"Oh god."

"Are you okay?"

"No," he sniffs as the tears spill over and he wonders if he will ever stop crying. "I've spent the whole weekend with my head on Rachel's breasts."

"That must have been deeply uncomfortable." 

Kurt manages a weak laugh at this, then suddenly Santana has her arms tight around him. "We all love you, you know. Both of you. Naturally, I will have to kill you if you tell anyone I said that. But I talked with Rachel yesterday, and we both feel sure you two can work this out, you just need to call him."

"You willingly talked to Rachel?"

"We talk more often than you will ever know," she says with a small smile. "But if you tell anyone.."

"Yeah, yeah," he smiles through his tears. 

"So you'll call him?"

"No. I'm going there right now. Cover for me."

He lets himself in with his key, walking through the house until he finds Blaine slumped at the kitchen table fast asleep. Clutching Kurt's scrapbook against his chest, his other hand rests on the table loosely holding an empty glass. His hair is wildly curly, dark stubble covers his face and Kurt can see dark circles under his closed eyes. Sighing heavily, Kurt picks up the bottle of whiskey and pours the remainder down the sink. 

"Wha'?" Blaine startles at the noise and sits up, clutching his head as a sharp pain shoots through his brain. "Kurt?"

"Drinking isn't going to solve anything," he says matter of factly. "You're not a loser or a bum. You're an intelligent man with a boyfriend who loves you and family and friends who are worried out of their minds. You've brought all this on yourself, there's no use in sitting about and wallowing in self pity. Get up, take a shower while I fix you something to eat and for gods sake, brush your teeth." 

"But I..."

"Now."

Blaine doesn't argue further, just trails up the stairs. Once Kurt can hear the water running he falls back against the counter, digging his palms into his eyes before blinking rapidly and setting about cleaning the kitchen. By the time Blaine returns Kurt has straightened, scrubbed, washed and polished. Both the living room and kitchen are gleaming again, all alcohol is out of sight and the table holds coffee, water, Advil and pancakes. 

"You're supposed to be in school," Blaine says, voice gravelly and rough. 

"Really Blaine? You want to start with that now?"

"You're still angry with me."

"I'm angry at the way you're behaving. I'm angry that I have to find out from Santana that you've spent the entire weekend in some kind of stupor."

"You told me not to call you!"

"I know but..."

"But what? What did you expect me to do? You left me broken," Blaine snaps, his anger beginning to build.

"It was your fucking decision! Kurt yells. "Just.... Oh just eat your fucking breakfast! We can talk when we've both calmed down." 

He moves through the rest of the house, tidying up and changing the sheets before putting the laundry to wash. He doesn't question why he's doing all this, he just knows that it gives him something to focus on while they both cool off. Blaine finds him in the living room, offering a consolatory smile which doesn't reach his eyes. 

"Feeling better?"

"A little," Kurt shrugs. "You?"

"Yeah. Thank you for breakfast."

"Welcome," comes Kurt's automatic response. "Ready to talk and not yell?"

"I think so," Blaine says as he takes a step towards him. "Can I... I just really want to hold you."

"Not right now," Kurt shakes his head firmly. "I want that too, but then we'll fall into the same old pattern."

"Okay." Blaine settles on the couch instead, feeling mild relief when Kurt sits next to him.

"Tell me why?"

"Kurt," Blaine sighs. "I feel....I've always felt....that it's not right for me to follow you. I've tried, off and on, to explain that to you, but I should have made you listen. I'm sorry I didn't. We were so caught up in our blissful bubble of just being with one another, then suddenly it was upon us. I knew this was coming.... And then I just kept putting it off."

"Like I said, that was both of us," Kurt offers. "I listened. I listened in Chicago, I listened in LA. I listened in your dining room, my bedroom, your bed. I listened, I just chose to ignore. Or rather, I chose to hope fervently that you'd change your mind. But you're not going to, are you?"

"No."

"I can't make you move," Kurt says calmly. "But I have to admit to being devastated when you told me you wouldn't even visit. I think, up until that point I thought it was manageable. But I don't know how to get past that." 

"You need to do this on your own. I'm willing to move...after you finish college. We can travel a little and then decide where we would like to settle. I want to give my whole life to you. As for not visiting... It- it- it..." Blaine trails off, unable to say what he really wants to. "It will be your place. You won't want me visiting and dragging you down. Like I said, we will still have time together. I'll pay for you to fly home as often as you like." 

"Yeah... And when I get here, I'll have dad, Carole, Finn, your parents all wanting to see me too. If you come visit me it will just be us."

"And Rachel and Santana," Blaine points out. "Look Kurt, we can go round and round in circles here, but what we really need to decide is whether we're going to do this long distance for three years or not?" 

"I don't think we have a choice," Kurt shrugs. "In all honesty, I feel like I'm settling but...I can't walk away from this. I wish, more than anything that you would move there too, or at least tell me you will visit once a month or something but... Whatever, I can't let you go. We need to give this a chance." 

"I've broken your heart, haven't I?" a stricken Blaine asks as his hand flies to cover his mouth.

"No," Kurt reassures. "You've roughed it up a little at the edges, that's all."

"Will we be okay?"

"Eventually."

"Can I still come to your graduation?"

"You'd better," Kurt smiles. "I love you, you damn fool." 

"Please let me hold you," Blaine begs softly, then begins to cry as Kurt falls into his arms. "I thought I'd lost you," he sobs as the familiar warmth of Kurt's body takes ahold of him and he molds himself against him.

"No," Kurt reassures as he clings to him. "You'd have to do something pretty drastic to do that."

"Will you kiss me?" 

And Kurt smiles his first proper smile in days as he tenderly cups Blaine's cheek and touches his lips with his own. Both their eyes flutter closed from the gentle touch, and soft sighs escape their bodies as they once again feel complete. Kurt kisses him again, firmer as his hand moves to soft curls at the base of Blaine's neck, his absolute favorite. And there they stay. Sharing delicate touches and featherlight kisses that never deepen, never lead to more. Both are just content to be in each others arms once more as Blaine lies back on the couch and pulls Kurt on top of him. They drift off at some point, and Kurt wakes a few hours later to Blaine running his fingers over his back. Smiling against his t-shirt, Kurt takes the fingers of his other hand and kisses each one in turn. 

"Want lunch?" Blaine offers, but Kurt shakes his head.

"Not right now," he says, wrapping his arm around Blaine's waist. "This feels too perfect." 

Blaine reaches out and tilts Kurt's chin upward, smiling as he leans down and kisses him. This time it slowly builds, and Kurt can't help but groan when he feels Blaine's tongue enter his mouth. He responds eagerly, moving to lie on top of him fully as Blaine's nimble fingers find their way to his skin. Sitting, Kurt quickly pulls his vest and t-shirt over his head, for once not caring as he throws it across the room. He tugs impatiently on Blaine's shirt, eyes narrowing when he notices the hesitancy coming from his lover. 

"No?"

"Yes, I'm just...I'm incredibly nervous," he blushes. "I've let you down twice and I..."

"Relax," Kurt says as he leans down and kisses his cheek. "Let's just see what happens, okay? And you didn't let me down."

"I love you," Blaine smiles. "I don't know what I did to deserve you."

"Hmm, you must have won the jackpot in a former life or something," Kurt says as he kisses along Blaine's jaw. "Now are you going to take that shirt off, or shall I? I really want to feel your body against mine." 

Blaine chuckles softly and pushes himself up to remove his shirt before lying back for Kurt to fall on top of him once more. "Oh Christ that's good," Blaine groans and Kurt moans in response. "I'm telling you, there is no feeling in the world to better this," he says as he rubs his hands over Kurt's bare back.

"None?"

"Well..."

Their kisses grow evermore passionate, and Blaine feels himself straining in his pants, bucking under Kurt's touch as he runs a hand over his erection. "This okay?" Kurt asks sweetly. 

"Yes," he pants. "It's good. I want this."

"Okay," Kurt smiles a little at Blaine's desperation as he removes his pants. "I love you in briefs," he comments as he runs his hand over him again. "I mean, I love you anyway but...yeah. You're really hot in a pair of tight briefs. It just...does it for me."

"Totally wearing them all the time from now on," Blaine grins as he watches Kurt stand and remove his own jeans. "And you...you're wearing nothing." His eyes go wide as Kurt stands above him completely naked, cock standing rigid and begging to be touched, tasted and- Blaine hopes- ridden.

"Jeans are too tight," Kurt says by way of explanation. "So."

"So."

"What do you want to do?"

"What do you want to do?" Blaine asks, suddenly filled with nerves once more as he feels himself starting to soften. 

"I want you to ride me," Kurt says with a gentle caress of Blaine's face. "But only if you feel comfortable with that I..."

"Yes. That's what I want too," Blaine nods as he sits upright on the couch. "But right now...um..."

"So climb in my lap and kiss me some more," Kurt says as he pats his thighs. "Your kisses are the absolute best, and if we don't get any further than that today I'm not worried," he says kindly. Running his hands over Blaine's ass, he squeezes softly as they continue to make out. It doesn't take long, however, for Blaine to turn hungry once more, gripping Kurt's hair hard as he undulates in his lap, quiet whimpers falling from his lips which turn into all out moans of pleasure when Kurt sucks a hickey onto his chest. 

"Oh please!" he cries, throwing his head back in delight. "Please Kurt!" he hurries to stand and pull his underwear off before straddling Kurt once more, kissing anywhere and everywhere, grazing skin with his teeth, teasing his nipples into hard peaks before falling to his knees between Kurt's legs. He wastes no time but takes him deep immediately then pulling back to tease around the head with his tongue. 

"Blaine...feels so good," Kurt moans, automatically tangling his fingers into Blaine's thick curls and pulling hard.

"Yes...pull my hair...please."

"Always," Kurt laughs. "You love it."

"You love my briefs, so be quiet," Blaine smiles before taking him in his mouth once again. When he begins to stroke himself, Kurt pulls him off and Blaine scrambles in the drawer of the coffee table for lube, pressing it into Kurt's hand as he sits astride him. "Kurt...I want you so much," he whimpers as he feels one slick finger trail down his crack. "I need you."

"I know," Kurt murmurs against his chest as he cradles him close and slowly pushes his finger inside. "I know." He works Blaine open, kissing him the whole time and hoping Blaine's senses are consumed enough by him to keep from getting distracted. By the time Blaine sinks down around his cock, Kurt is desperate, digging his nails into Blaine's back and bowing his head onto his shoulder. "Perfect," he whispers, "absolutely perfect."

"I don't know if I can last," Blaine admits softly. "One extreme to another I guess." He laughs though his face burns with embarrassment. 

"Don't worry about it," Kurt answers as Blaine begins to ride him. "There's no way in hell that I can either." 

Blaine locks his hands behind Kurt's neck, leaning forward and kissing him as he feels Kurt thrusting up to meet his ass time and again. "Shit..." he groans. "So good." 

Kurt's hands massage Blaine's butt as they both increase their speed, then he lets one hand around to take Blaine's cock, who yells loudly with pleasure as he comes uncontrollably over Kurt's hand. Kurt manages a few more thrusts before he reaches a shuddering orgasm, which leaves him clutching Blaine as close to him as he can while they pant together. 

"Oh god..oh fuck," Kurt breathes against Blaine's damp neck.

"We totally had sex," a blissful Blaine grins.

"We did," Kurt laughs. "And I take it you're feeling better?"

"I thought I was broken," he admits. "I think my mind was just elsewhere and I couldn't focus."

"And now?"

"And now I feel better that we've had 'the' conversation," Blaine air quotes, "and I guess it isn't completely resolved, but at least we've laid our cards on the table. Promise me something," he continues as Kurt lies back and he settles into his arms.

"Yes?"

"Focus on your graduation now, and your last few days at school. Anything else can wait for now." 

"Okay," he agrees with some reluctance. "But I leave in a little over three weeks."

"I know, and we'll talk lots, lots more before then, I promise you."

Content, they lie together in no hurry to clean up or move. Both become sleepy again which explains why neither hears the door. 

"Babysitter Wesley is here," Wes calls. "If you're drinking again I swear to god I'll.... Argh!"

A naked Blaine scrambles hurriedly to pull a throw over him and Kurt as Wes turns his back and looks at the ceiling. 

"You made up," he states. 

"We did," Blaine chokes out. "Wes, I'm so sorry."

"No, no," he says as lightly as he can muster. "I think knowing you two have sorted things almost makes up for the ungodly sight of seeing you both naked. I'll just....go."

"No don't do that," Kurt calls, unable to move to halt Wes' progress. "Stay. Have dinner with us or something. You've done so much for us. Please."

"I don't want to be in the way."

"You won't be," Blaine reassures him. "Though you will have to go in the kitchen so we can get up the stairs to the shower." 

"Oh right. Right. Will do," Wes nods. "And thanks." 

*

"Kurt? You ready to go, buddy?"

"Yeah," Kurt says, pulling open his bedroom door with a breathless smile. 

"Oh my. I wasn't prepared for this." The sight of his son in his graduation gown has Burt swiping at his eyes with a handkerchief immediately, then pulling Kurt into a hug which leaves the boy gasping for breath. 

"Dad," he chokes out. "You've had eighteen years."

"I know, I know, but to me you'll always be my baby."

"Dad," Kurt smiles, embarrassed.

"You will. Even when I'm holding your babies, or watching you on stage as Figaro..."

"Fiyero."

"Whatever. You'll always be that bundle wrapped in a white blanket and wearing a blue hat, or the little boy wobbling down the road on his bike as your training wheels sit at my feet. I'm so proud of you."

"We've done okay, haven't we? You and I?"

"We've done better than okay," Burt smiles. "We've won."

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Take care of Blaine for me. Promise me you'll look out for him. He's not finding life easy right now and I just..."

"I will," Burt promises faithfully. "God knows I love him almost as much as I love you. I hope he knows that."

"I think he does."

"My goal for the next three years is to keep you two going, no matter what," Burt smiles. "Along with Finn and Rachel, that's all Carole and I want- happiness for the four of you. Now let's go. Finn's downstairs already and I want a ton of awkward family photos."

Blaine waits anxiously on the steps of McKinley high, his face breaking out into a huge grin when he sees Kurt bounding towards him. "Oh my gosh, look at you!" he laughs as he hugs him and spins him around. "Wow!"

"I know," Kurt smiles. "I'm pretty excited right now."

"You should be. You deserve this. Now give me your wrist."

"My...what?" a bewildered Kurt asks as Blaine tugs at the sleeve of his gown. 

"Here." Blaine clips a small charm to Kurt's bracelet, smiling shyly when Kurt looks down and his fingers graze over the silver mortar board. 

"You..."

"I know, I know. I didn't have to. But guess what? I wanted to," he grins as he kisses Kurt's lips lightly. "I'm really proud of you, and I wanted you to have something to remember today."

"Thank you," Kurt says sincerely. "It's beautiful. Just like you." He smiles softly, the pair of them shy once more as Kurt runs his thumb over the back of Blaines hand. "Did your parents get here yet?" 

"Not yet, they had to pick something up. But they'll be here soon," he says with another quick kiss.

Blaine strides over to greet Finn and Rachel, introducing himself to her dads before making a point of tracking down Will Schuester to give his thanks. 

"No worries," Will smiles amicably. "I hope it all works out for you both, I really do. I'll keep in touch with Kurt, maybe we can get together when he's back for the holidays."

"Sounds good," Blaine smiles, then laughs as he hears a very loud "Kurt, darling!" from behind him. 

"I'd better go, my parents are here." 

"Cooper?" Kurt stares in disbelief as he strides towards Kurt and hugs him warmly. 

"The one and only. Just me, I'm afraid. Claire was needed at work and Maddie and Taylor are still in school."

"Did you fly all this way just for my graduation?"

"Of course! I wasn't about to miss my little bro finishing high school now, was I?" he laughs as they hug warmly once more.

"Blaine darling, stand with Kurt so I can get a photo," his mom says eagerly. "Wonderful. Burt? Carole? Can you jump in? Excellent. Now Finn and Rachel too. Oh, and Cooper. Mike, you'd better get in too I suppose, but don't pull any goofball faces. Such a lot of family," she trills happily.

"Mom? What about you?" Blaine calls. 

"Oh, I could," she says, thrusting her camera at Will with instructions to point and shoot. 

"I don't think I've ever been happier," Kurt says out the corner of his mouth as they all smile.

"You haven't even graduated yet," Blaine chuckles, squeezing tight around his waist. 

"I'm not sure I want to." With the pictures done, the group break apart as the parents begin to make their way inside. "That's when the hard work really starts."

"NYADA will be a breeze," Blaine reassures.

"I wasn't talking about that."

"Kurt...I love you. We'll be okay, remember? We'll be okay."

He presses their foreheads together, wincing when he hears a familiar voice. 

"Anderson! Over here," Santana calls. "My mom wants a picture of us. Probably so she can tell everyone you're my boyfriend, but whatever. Kurt, you too."

They pose for more pictures then Blaine hugs her hard. "You look gorgeous."

"I'm wearing a red gown and a hat," she observes wryly.

"Still beautiful. I'm proud of you."

"Shut up, grandad."

"Take care of Kurt for me."

Santana opens her mouth again for a witty retort, but finding none she kisses his cheek instead. "I absolutely will."

That night the Lima Bean is rammed as graduates, parents and friends all jostle to get seats and listen to Blaine. Wes, Nick, Jeff and Sebastian have the foresight to get there early and save as many tables as they can, and they all greet Kurt with a huge cheer when he arrives, making him blush hard. All the New Directions are there, taking loudly over one another and leaving their parents at the back to drink their coffees quietly. 

"Okay, okay!" Blaine calls down the microphone as he takes to the stage. "So before I start, I just want to say how proud I am of my beautiful boyfriend who finally graduated high school today!" he pauses as everyone cheers. "Also, my amazing friends, Rachel, Finn and most of all Santana, whom I love dearly, but please, never tell anyone I said that," he jokes with a wink in her direction. "My massively talented boyfriend is off to the big apple to persue his dreams, and I just really, really want to wish him all the luck in the world. Kurt, I love you and this song is for you." He sits at the piano and starts to play Alicia Keys 'New York,' which has all around Kurt reaching for their tissues, but Kurt just stares at Blaine and wonders when the heartache will dull into an acceptable level of pain. 

"He'll be okay," Sebastian says from next to him, and in a surprise gesture he reaches out and covers Kurt's hand with his own. "We'll see to it. And I promise to do everything in my power to get his ass to New York." Kurt nods, unable to speak but he offers a trembling smile which Sebastian returns. His sits completely still, eyes fixed as his heart quietly breaks and he wonders how to say what's on his mind.

Blaine finishes his set to rapturous applause, steps from the stage and begins to pack away his guitar when he hears a nervous throat clearing at the microphone. "Blaine," Kurt starts nervously. "Uh...I just...this song...well I... I don't know how to say what I want, but I just really want to sing this for you." He nods to Brad and Finn on piano and drums as he starts to sing, his voice soft, low and deeper than Blaine has ever known as he stares in amazement.

"I'll sing it one last time for you  
Then we really have to go  
You've been the only thing that's right  
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you  
But every single time I do  
I know we'll make it anywhere  
Away from here."

As Finn starts on the drums behind him, Kurt grips the microphone stand tightly as he allows his voice to soar high, eyes focused on Blaine who has found his way to the front of the stage.

"Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder  
And we'll run for our lives  
I can hardly speak I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes  
Makes it so hard not to cry  
And as we say our long goodbye  
I nearly do

Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder  
And we'll run for our lives  
I can hardly speak I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say"

Kurt closes his eyes, unable to look at a stricken Blaine who has tears pouring down his face. He makes no attempt to wipe them away though, he just stares and stares as he feels his world shattering around him.

"Light up, light up  
As if you have a choice  
Even if you cannot hear my voice  
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder  
And we'll run for our lives  
I can hardly speak I understand  
Why you can't raise your voice to say"

There is a moment of silence at the end as the whole coffee shop, even their closest family and friends feel as if they've intruded on a very private, personal moment between the pair. Then Copper starts the applause as Kurt sinks to the floor and breaks. Blaine moves then, hopping up onto the low stage and gathering him in his arms. 

"My boy, my gorgeous boy," he cries, unable to keep his own tears at bay. "Why? Why did you sing that here?"

"I needed to," Kurt gasps out between his sobs. "I...I just want you to know that I'll always be there if you need me. In here," he says, putting his hand on Blaine's heart. The general hubbub of noise continues around them, though parents and friends of the pair hover nervously, not sure what is happening as Kurt and Blaine rock gently in one another's arms. 

"Please Blaine," Kurt sobs, broken and desperate. "Please come with me. I can't do this on my own, I don't want to do this on my own."

"Kurt, I...." he shakes his head sadly as he looks into those watery blue eyes which hold so much pain and fear. "I can't." 

It is Cooper who catches Kurt as he tears from the coffee shop and across the dark parking lot, tackling him around the waist and onto a patch of grass where he holds him tight as he cries and he comforts him as best he can. 

"He won't," Kurt cries. "I asked him again and he won't!"

"But you know why," Cooper says soothingly.

"Because I need to have this adventure on my own," Kurt mimics bitterly. "But I don't want it on my own. I want him there with me, right by my side!"

"But he's never going to be for as long as you're in New York, Kurt. You know that."

"What? What are you talking about?"

Cooper stares at him through the darkness, stunned. "He hasn't told you, has he?"

"Told me what?"


	44. Chapter 44

"Oh crap," Cooper breathes as he rakes a hand through his hair. "Kurt.... This is really hard for me, but I think you need to know. I'm going against my brothers wishes here, but you're as good as my brother now anyway so....." he takes a deep breath and blurts, "Blaine never intended to move to New York with you at all. The day he moved away he swore he would never return, and he won't renege on that promise he made to himself."

"What?" Kurt stares at him, dumbfounded and trying to process this news "Why?"

"The first time you came to visit us, you were sixteen and you and I were watching Taylor and Maddie play softball, remember?"

"Yes."

"You were sitting there telling me that you wanted to go to NYADA, do broadway... All of that. I spoke with Blaine about it then, told him he should tell you, but he refused. He's always maintained that you need to follow your dreams. I can see his point. At thirty three, he feels he's had those chances, had those experiences and he wants the same for you before you settle down."

"But I want him with me," Kurt sobs. "I don't understand why he would think this is for the best."

"It's because it's New York," Cooper explains. "Did he ever tell you what it was like for him after Luke died?"

"He said he couldn't settle there, that's why he and Wes moved back."

"It was worse than that, Kurt. It was horrible. He used to have nightmares, unbearable ones that left him ripping his hair out in clumps or clawing at his face until he was bleeding. He ended up sleeping in Wes' bed most nights. He couldn't stop seeing Luke- then he discovered that if he drank enough whiskey he would pass out and the dreams would stop. So then that started. Wes called me in desperation and I flew out. You wouldn't be able to reconcile the Blaine you see now with the Blaine I saw then. He was on the edge, Kurt. He would have panic attacks whenever he went outside so he became a virtual recluse. He was rude and hurtful to Wes, who was working his ass off everyday on just a few hours sleep, and then Blaine would drink all his money away. It all came to a head when they didn't have enough money for rent. It ended with Wes punching him. In the end I called mom and dad and told them everything. It's the only time I've ever seen mom yell, like really yell at him. Dad found out about the job at Dalton and Wes decided they were moving back. That was how it was done. Blaine had no choice in the matter. He owes Wes his whole damn life, I'm telling you. But that cloud lifted from him the day he came home. That was all it took. I mean, he wasn't fixed or anything- far from it, but he could breathe again. He said right there and then that he would never set foot back in that city ever again." 

"I had no idea," Kurt sniffs as he wipes at his eyes. "But.... He told me he never loved him."

"He didn't. Not like he loves you. You're the first, and the only one to capture his heart. But you've seen how he is with his friends, even Sebastian. He loves them dearly and would do anything for them. He was the same with Luke. I think above everything, they had a friendship more than a relationship, and they just slept together occasionally. That's more how it was. But it destroyed him that he couldn't be the one to save him. That he couldn't help and that ultimately, he missed him by one day because he was being stubborn. That's not how I see it, but it's what he thinks. Blaine is a giver, Kurt. You know that. He's never met anyone- except his friends- who gives back. But you do, and that's been the best thing for all of us about seeing you two together- that he's had someone who loves him back just as much."

"Why didn't he tell me? I just don't get it," Kurt mutters darkly as he plays with the grass at his feet. "I didn't need to go to NYADA, I could have gone anywhere."

"Because he wouldn't ever want to feel like he held you back," Cooper sighs. "He wants to do right by you the way he feels he couldn't do right by Luke... Only he doesn't realize what it is you want and need. He can only see this predetermined path that he thinks is the right one. He doesn't want to be the one who made it all go wrong for you."

"I'm fucking angry!" Kurt explodes suddenly. "He's messed this up, messed us up. I've been with him two years and at no time has he ever, ever told me that he never wanted to return to New York. Even last week, when he finally told me straight that he wasn't coming, he never told me the real reason why. He fed me all this bullshit about there being so much for me to discover and how he didn't want to drag me down. He's deceived me for two fucking years!" 

"Kurt...."

"He's ruined everything, Cooper. How can I trust him when I know he lied to me so willingly?"

"No, Kurt you can't look at it like that," Cooper implores. "He didn't just lie to you on a whim..."

"Which makes it even worse!" Kurt yells as he gets to his feet. "He deliberately let me labor under the misapprehension that he was trying to be selfless, letting me spread my wings and have my time to be young and carefree, when all the time it was because he was too fucking weak to tell me to my face. I've had it," Kurt fishes in his pocket for his car keys and heads across the lot. "I've had it with him and I've had it with us. I'm going to his house to collect my stuff and then I'm walking away from all this."

"Kurt...listen to me," Cooper begs. "You and Blaine....you're stronger than this. Take some time, take all the time you need but don't turn your back on him in anger, it'll be too hard to come back from it otherwise. Go home- to your place- call Blaine next week and....I don't know, meet for coffee or something, on neutral ground where you can talk this through in a civilized manner. Please, I'm begging you. Don't finish with him. You'll..."

"I'll what?" Kurt snaps as he pulls open the car door. "I'll break his heart? Y'know, only on Monday he asked if he had broken mine. I reassured him that it was still in tact. But now...now...he's shattered it into a million pieces and I don't think it'll ever be whole again." 

He tears off into the night, leaving Cooper to trail dejectedly back inside and impart the news of Kurt's absence. Blaine sits at a table, crying quietly with his dad's arm around his shoulder while Burt looks on. Carole and Sara are huddled together, talking in hushed tones and the whole place seems to have taken on the atmosphere of a mausoleum. 

"We have a huge problem," Cooper mutters to Wes and Santana.

"You told Kurt didn't you?" Wes asks, sighing when Cooper nods.

"Told Kurt what?" Santana asks.

"That Blaine wouldn't go to college with him because he will never return to New York." Wes tells her.

"Meaning?"

"Meaning if he had gone anywhere else, Blaine would have packed up and followed him."

"Oh shit."

"Exactly."

"Where is Kurt now?" she asks with concern.

"He's gone to Blaine's place to collect his stuff," Cooper says wearily. "I don't know what to do."

"Right." Standing, she smooths down her skirt and walks over to Blaine's table where she promptly smacks him across the back of the head.

"Ow!"

"You fucking jerk!" she yells. "Your boyfriend is at your house right now collecting all his belongings and preparing to walk out of your life for good. Get your fucking ass over there now and sort this mess out, Anderson. What in the ever living hell made you think it was a wise idea not to tell him you wouldn't go to New York?"

"I did tell him!" he objects as he rubs the back of his head.

"Well you failed to mention that if he'd gone anywhere else you would have moved with him. And now he's found out."

"Shit."

"Pretty much," she snarks. "Now go. You have one chance to save this."

Blaine drives as fast as he dares with hands which shake uncontrollably at the wheel. A sob escapes his throat when he sees that Kurt's car is still in the driveway and he runs into the house and up the stairs. 

One of Blaine's suitcases lies open on the bed, with clothes, toiletries, books and DVDs all thrown into it haphazardly. Another pile lies next to it, and Blaine suddenly realizes how much of Kurt's stuff has managed to find its way into his house during the last two years. Kurt himself sits at the end of the bed, staring at the dark tv, looking pale and drawn. 

"You never intended to come with me, did you?" he says, without turning to look at him.

"No," Blaine whispers, voice full of shame and remorse.

"If I had been going anywhere else- I don't know... Oregon, Maine....anywhere.... Would you have come with me?"

"Probably," Blaine admits quietly. "Actually, yes."

"You made my decision for me."

"For us, Kurt. I made the decision for us."

"And what gives you the right?" Kurt snaps as he stands and whirls around to face him. "What gives you the right to decide something like that for both of us without talking to me? Do you know I would have changed my plans?"

"Yes I do, and that's why I didn't say anything." 

"You're not coming," Kurt says, voice suddenly small.

"I can't. I'm sorry Kurt.... It's too claustrophobic for me. Too many bad memories everywhere I look. I just... I can't be the person I want to be if I'm living there. I feel like the city eats away at me, drags me down and reminds me of the person I was- the person he was, and I... I just can't do that."

"But... I don't get why you didn't tell me this before?"

"Because I would never be able to live with myself knowing that you didn't follow your dream because of me."

"But you are my dream, Blaine. Don't you get that?"

"Don't... Please don't."

"I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe we're breaking up over this." Kurt's hand covers his mouth as he tries to stifle the anguished wail he can feel building inside him.

"We're not breaking up, Kurt. Please don't say that. There's no way I'm letting you go."

"What else can we do?" he yells, throwing his hands up in despair. "This is the next three years of my life, Blaine. I don't know how I'll do it. I don't know how I'll survive three years without you. I'll be constantly wondering if you're being honest in the stuff you tell me over the phone, always worried that you haven't told me the truth."

"I will, I promise," Blaine begs."I'm sorry Kurt, I'm so sorry that I wasn't honest with you but you had your heart set on NYADA and..."

"I had my heart set on you, Blaine! On being with you! 

"There's still breaks," Blaine tries. "Thanksgiving, the holidays. You can visit for weekends. And we will still have our summers...."

"But that's all me!" Kurt cries. "Don't you see that? Every bit of that is me coming to you. You're telling me you won't even visit." 

"I can't," he whispers, tears streaming down his cheeks. 

"I thought I was worth more than that, Blaine. I thought we were strong enough together to overcome your demons. Obviously I was wrong." 

"Kurt.... You are worth everything to me."

"Then why are you doing this to me? To us?" Kurt says desperately as his voice breaks. 

"Because you need this! You need to have a shot at your dreams Kurt, you deserve it more than anyone I know. You need to have those opportunities..."

"Bullshit!" he screams, angrier than ever as his hands ball into fists. "You're doing it because you're a coward and you're weak. For two years you've been sitting there feeding me the same line over and over, deliberately misleading me and lying."

"I wasn't lying..."

"Then what were you doing? Huh?" He starts ramming more stuff into the suitcase as he shakes his head in despair. "God knows how much I love you Blaine, and I told you the other day I hoped it would be enough. Well it's not. Not when one half of our whole is a master in the art of deception."

"I'm not!" Blaine yells in despair. "I love you more than anything or anyone. You're the one thing in my life that I need. I can get by without it all but not you, never without you. I didn't do this to deceive you, I didn't decide it would be fun to lie to you. I just couldn't ever bear the thought of you putting yourself through three years of college where you weren't entirely happy. You shouldn't have to settle for second best because of my fears and misgivings."

"It wouldn't have been though," Kurt sobs, breath hitching in his throat as he struggles to speak. "It would have been perfect, even if it was the fucking University of Alaska, because it would have been us."

"Oh god, Kurt," Blaine wails. "I'm so sorry."

"It's not good enough Blaine," Kurt wipes at his eyes, zips the suitcase and places it at his feet. "Do you know how much you've lost?"

"No," Blaine whispers, horrified. "No, please Kurt. Don't do this. I'm begging you."

"I'm sorry Blaine, but I don't think we can ever get past this. Can you...can you pack the rest of my stuff for me please?" he chokes. "Pass it to Wes and I'll get it from him before I move." 

"Kurt, please...."

"Don't, Blaine." He pushes past him quickly and heads down the stairs, dragging the suitcase after him. Blaine runs behind, out into the dark where he tries desperately to stop Kurt from opening the car door. 

"You can't...we can't... You're my soulmate, Kurt. Please."

"Blaine, please move. I really don't want to have to push you."

"Let me hold you, my gorgeous boy. Just let me hold you."

Shaking his head, Kurt reaches for the door handle and a distraught Blaine offers no resistance.

"I love you Kurt. I love you so much."

"I love you too, old man. For what it's worth, I will always love you."

 

The next two weeks pass in a haze for Blaine. He spends most of his time curled up on Kurt's side of the bed, staring into the distance. Cooper stays for the first few days, sleeping next to him, ready to wake at a moments notice and hold him as he cries. He forces him to eat, to shower and change his clothes but the rest of the time Blaine is unresponsive. 

"Do you think I should call Kurt?" Cooper asks his mom as she stands at Blaine's stove making dinner. 

"No," she shakes her head. "I spoke with Carole this morning and Kurt is in much the same way. The only person allowed in his room is Finn, he won't even let Rachel in as she reminds him of New York and all he's lost by moving there." She sighs heavily as she stirs the pasta sauce, blinking back tears. "I never thought they'd break up," she says quietly. "I just...believed in them from the very first time I met Kurt. Your dad and I, we talked that night. We discussed the age gap, which at that point was painstakingly obvious, I mean, he was just a kid. But we both somehow knew that it was never going to matter. And now..."

"I think, given time, that they'll find their way back to one another," Cooper says as he sets a tray to take to Blaine's room.

"I hope so darling," his mom says sadly. "I really hope so."

"Kurt?" His dad’s voice is uncertain as he knocks on the door. "Kurt, Santana is here to visit. I'm gonna send her up, okay?"

"No, not okay," Kurt snaps back.

"Kurt, she's worried about you. It's the fifth time she's called by in as many days."

"She'll be here on orders from him," Kurt says angrily through the door. "And I don't want to hear anything he has to say."

"She hasn't seen Blaine," Burt reassures, "he won't see or speak to anyone, not even Wes."

Burt takes the silence as agreement and shows Santana up the stairs, laden down with drinks and snacks from Carole who is becoming ever more concerned by Kurt's lack of appetite. 

"Hey," she says as brightly as she can muster. 

"What do you want?" he snaps at her.

"Be nice." She sets the food out on his desk, bringing a can of coke and slice of cake to him which he promptly deposits on his nightstand in disgust. "I'd ask how you are, but you look like shit so I'll take that as my answer," she says without preamble. "You should shower."

"Why?"

"Because in ten days I'm supposed to be your new roommate and Rachel and I would both rather you were clean."

"Leave me alone."

"No."

"Fine. Sit there and talk to yourself then, I'm not listening."

"You are though," she says conversationally. "You know, I've had to say goodbye to Britt too."

"It's not the same."

"No it's not, you're right. I love her deeply, but I'm not in love with her. It hurt, to end things and start a new chapter in my life, but I'll get over it. I can't imagine what it must be like for you right now. I only hope I'll be lucky enough to experience love like you and Blaine have known one day. Only I know I'd never let mine go."

"He hurt me more than any other."

"That's what love is," she argues as she sits in the bed next to him and plays absent mindedly with his hair. "You hold that person's heart in your hands. You have the power to make that one person happier than they've ever known, and also the power to break their heart. It's whether you choose to exercise that power that counts. Blaine would never, ever hurt you willingly, you know that. He was a complete jerk, but a misguided one, and one which genuinely thought he was acting in your best interests. I'm not asking you to fall into his arms and forgive him instantaneously, but I am asking you to think long and hard about whether you really want him gone from your life forever, or whether you one day want to take steps toward reconciliation. Because if you do...better to let Blaine know that before you move, give him a small spark of hope to hold on to. You're both in untold agony right now, and if you both just know that one day...."

"No. It's over."

"Kurt, you should..."

"I should what?" he bites. "I should think about it? What the hell do you think I've been doing for five days and nights? Huh?"

"Okay," she sighs in defeat. "If that's what you want. I'm gonna go," she says as she kisses his cheek gently. "I'm going to visit Blaine on the weekend, say goodbye."

"I don't care."  
*

Cooper reluctantly returns to LA the next day, trying but failing to convince Blaine to go with him. "He might come," Blaine explains as he stares out the window for the umpteenth time that day. "And if I wasn't here I'd never know."

But Kurt doesn't come. Wes arrives instead, suitcase in hand and ignoring Blaine's grumble of protest as he installs himself in the guest bedroom. The weekend brings Santana, offering a weak smile as she sits awkwardly on his couch and Blaine says nothing. Wes bustles about, fixing drinks and trying to make conversation, but Blaine stays unresponsive. 

"Okay," Santana huffs eventually, throwing her hands up in defeat. "I'm gonna say it. Blaine, I came all the way to visit you so we could say goodbye. You're being really rude. I know you don't feel great, I know you're going out of your mind, but Wes and I are here because we care. Talk, goddamn it! Cry, yell, throw things, beg for information about Kurt, I don't know, but do something!"

"When do you leave?" Blaine asks in a flat monotone.

"Tomorrow," she answers quietly. "Rachel and I are driving it between us, Kurt's flying up when he's ready."

"Is he okay?"

"No," Santana says truthfully. "And neither are you."

"I love him," is as far as Blaine can get before the tears arrive once more. Santana goes to him, smoothing his hair as he cries. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry to all of you, because I've hurt your friend and I never meant..."

"Blaine, you are our friend too. I'm there for both of you, in the same way as Wes, Sebastian, Finn...everyone. Well, except Rachel. She's kinda pissed at you."

"I'm more than pissed at me," Blaine sniffles, "I hate myself."

"Okay, Wes, I don't know what you think here, but Blaine? My advice would be to ride it out. You've been a jerk, Kurt needs time to process that, move his ass to the city and then think about forgiveness. He's not said anything, but my guess is that this isn't over. Give him all the time he needs, and eventually, he'll come back to you."

"My thoughts exactly," Wes says as he joins them on the couch. "I keep telling him that."

"And whatever you do, the answer is not at the bottom of a whiskey bottle so don't even bother to look there."

"I haven't touched a drop," Blaine says numbly. "Though I've wanted to. I'm too frightened that Kurt would walk in, take one look at me and walk right out again. I'll wait, you know," he says, looking between them both. "I'll wait for eternity if necessary, but I'll never stop loving him, and I'll never stop hoping." 

"Well that sounds infinitely more hopeful than you did a few days ago," Wes says, patting his leg. "You'll get there, buddy. You both will."

"Okay, I'd better go," Santana says as she stands. "I'll um...I'll see you soon, I guess." She stares at the floor and swallows hard. "You might not be in a good place right now, but you've been a really good friend to me, Blaine. Please don't forget me."

"I won't," he replies, standing to hug her close. "I love you so much. You'll always be my best girl."

By the time Friday arrives, Blaine is once again in the pit of misery and despair as he realizes that Kurt must have left for New York already. Wes very reluctantly travels to Cincinnati for his parents golden wedding, completely unable to move Blaine who has taken to his bed once more. He sleeps irregularly, napping on and off and just starting at the ceiling in between. Books, tv- even music holds no interest for him as he wonders if Santana was right, if Kurt will find his way back eventually, and if so- how long will it take? He drifts again, waking with a start when someone falls on the bed next to him. 

"Get up," Sebastian demands as he forcibly rolls him from the bed. 

"Fuck off."

"I'm not Wes," he continues as he frogmarches him to the bathroom and turns the shower on. "I'm not prepared to indulge your misery. Nick's downstairs making food, Jeff's on his way from work. Shower and get dressed."

"No."

"Suit yourself, but you're gonna look pretty lame playing the Lima Bean in your pyjamas."

"Huh?"

"Friday, Blaine. You have a gig. You missed last week, you can't do it again. Now, are you going to undress yourself or will I have to help?"

"I can't sing."

"You can and you will." 

"I can't do this," Blaine repeats to Jeff as he forces him into his car.

"Yeah you can. C'mon Blaine. I know it sucks, but you just need to try and start living again."

"You're mean," he pouts as Jeff fastens his seatbelt. 

"Yup. You said that when Luke died too. Remember what I told you?"

"That I was a child."

"Correct. I'll ride with you."

"Can't you drive then?"

"Nope, you need to focus your mind on something else for a change, even if its only the roads. Now go."

His set is short, and morose at best, but luckily the Lima Bean is fairly quiet, and Blaine finds he can lose himself in the music, closing his eyes and letting his mind fill with thoughts of Kurt. "So... This is my last one for tonight," he says into the microphone. "Um...and it's for Kurt- as so many of my songs often are. But it's not...it's not...well." he pauses to suck a deep breath. "It's a song I hoped I'd never have to sing, but we started with James Blunt, two and a half years ago- it seems only appropriate we should...should end that way too, even if he's not here to listen."

"What a pleasant evening this is turning out to be," Sebastian mutters sarcastically as Blaine starts singing. 

"Did I disappoint you or let you down?  
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?  
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,  
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.  
So I took what's mine by eternal right.  
Took your soul out into the night.  
It may be over but it won't stop there,  
I am here for you if you'd only care.  
You touched my heart you touched my soul.  
You changed my life and all my goals.  
And love is blind and that I knew when,  
My heart was blinded by you.  
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.  
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.  
I know you well, I know your smell.  
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one,  
You have been the one for me.  
Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one,  
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when I wake,  
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.  
And as you move on, remember me,  
Remember us and all we used to be  
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.  
I've watched you sleeping for a while.  
I'd be the father of your child.  
I'd spend a lifetime with you.  
I know your fears and you know mine.  
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,  
And I love you, I swear that's true.  
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one,  
You have been the one for me.  
Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one,  
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.  
In mine when I'm asleep.  
And I will bare my soul in time,  
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover.  
Goodbye my friend.  
You have been the one.  
You have been the one for me."

He finishes the song and looks up with tears in his eyes. His jaw drops as he sees the unmistakable figure of Kurt standing at the back of the coffee shop, chewing his lip nervously as silent tears make their way down his face. 

"That song was..." Nick starts as he walks towards him, but Blaine pushes him to one side and moves swiftly past the tables, those blue eyes pulling him ever closer until he finally stands in front of him. 

"I assumed you'd gone," Blaine says, voice barely above a whisper as if frightened of startling him away.

"My flight leaves tomorrow morning at seven," Kurt replies, his tone equally as shaky and unsure as he turns his car keys over and over in his hand.

"Right." Blaine nods once then stares at him, not knowing where to begin.

"Take me home, Blaine. Take me to bed and make love to me."

"I don't think...."

"Please." It's a request, not a question and Blaine finds himself nodding again and reaching for his car keys. 

"Follow me."

Not a word is spoken between the pair as they stand in the gloom of Blaine's bedroom, though he does find himself silently offering up a prayer of thanks that Nick had changed his sheets for him earlier. Kurt stands frozen, face solemn as he looks into Blaine's eyes. 

"I love you so much," Kurt whispers, and Blaine crashes their lips together desperately, holding Kurt's face in his hands as he devours him. They clutch at one another frantically, their need for each other evident in the way their hands tug at clothing and zippers. It is only once they are both down to their underwear that they break apart, panting for breath as Blaine's touch turns into a loving caress of Kurt's cheek. 

"I love you too. I love you," he repeats, nuzzling in under Kurt's jaw and kissing softly. "I love you, I love you, always." He lowers Kurt carefully onto the bed, handling his most treasured love with the utmost care as he hovers over him, eyes shining with unshed tears and gazing down in amazement. "Evermore beautiful," he breathes softly, kissing the tip of his nose. "The most gorgeous boy that ever there was."

"My old man," Kurt says in response, a tiny, fragile smile forming on his face as he holds the back of Blaine's neck. "Mine."

"Forever?"

"Forever." 

The spark of arousal ignites again for both at those words, but it is romantic, devoted and loving. Their kisses are slow, filled with passion and want but also nervousness and hope as Blaine moves to kiss at Kurt's neck and he tangles his fingers into the dark curls he thought he'd never get to feel again. 

They take turns worshipping every inch of one another. Tongues and fingers map out familiar trails that never get old and as Blaine finally pushes inside Kurt's tight heat, it is with a smile of love so blazing and pure that Kurt can't help but blink and allow two tears to escape. 

"Blaine....I..."

"Not now," he whispers. "Just be with me. I need you to be with me."

Kurt nods his agreement, leaning up to guide Blaine's lips to his own as they move together. Blaine presses as much of himself against Kurt as he can, groaning quietly in the back of his throat when Kurt wraps his legs tight around his waist. They reach their climax together, with soft sighs and whimpers as they cling to each other. Neither moves for a very long time, but eventually Blaine reluctantly withdraws and pulls Kurt into his side instead. 

"Kurt, I need you to know how sorry I am," he says, choking on his own tears which threaten again.

"I do," Kurt replies as he plays with Blaine's chest hair. "I really do."

"And I..." 

"Sleep, Blaine," Kurt says kindly as he rolls onto his back so Blaine can find his favorite spot, burrowed in under Kurt's jaw with his head on his chest and arm circling his waist. "Let me hold you, please."

"I love you," Blaine says as he snuggles in tight and sighs contentedly. 

"You....too," Kurt trails off as his eyes become heavy with the sleep that has eluded him for the past two weeks.

"Will you still be here when I wake?" Blaine whispers, but receives no response.

And at the crack of dawn Blaine Anderson wakes, to a cold, empty bed and an aching, broken heart.


	45. Chapter 45

"Can I come in?" 

Burt Hummel looks up from the car he's working on to find Blaine standing nervously in the doorway, coffee and donuts held in his hands. He looks smaller than ever, shrunken and huddled as if trying to protect himself from any more hurt and pain. 

"Sure," Burt smiles warmly, wiping his hands on a rag as he walks over to him. Blaine enters the workshop, setting the food and drink down on the bench next to an array of tools- most of which he could now name, he realizes with a wry smile. 

"I've missed you these last few weeks," Burt says as he watches him moving about. "I was beginning to give up on you, thought maybe you'd finally gotten a real job or something."

"No," Blaine laughs a breathy laugh as he notes the twinkle of pleasure in Burt's eye. "I just wasn't sure if I'd be entirely welcome," he answers honestly as Burt shrugs. 

"Oh, I'd say you're being punished enough by your own self loathing without me adding to the pile," he replies, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Now, do I get a hug or what?" 

"I'll cry," Blaine admits quietly.

"We're one and the same," Burt smiles. "C'mere so we can cry together." 

He holds him tight, this broken, frightened man who Burt has come to think of as his son. Holds him while Blaine fists his coverall in his hands and bawls, letting out the pain and anguish that has been building inside of him ever since Kurt left his bed for the last time. When he can cry no more, and Burt has forced him into sitting on a stool to drink his coffee, Blaine rubs tiredly at his eyes before offering a tiny smile. 

"I thought you'd be done with me."

"Never," Burt says simply. "Whatever happens, Blaine, never think you're not welcome here."

"Thank you." 

"I was gonna stop by, but your dad said you haven't been in the best of places so..."

"No," he stares at his shoes as he blushes. "I um..I know I was the one who ruined everything but...yeah, it's been pretty tough."

"You might have messed up, but I'm not proud of Kurt for running out on you like that. You didn't deserve it."

"You know about that?"

"Yes. I guessed where he was going that night. He didn't tell anyone, just walked down the stairs and out the door without a word, but I knew. And then a few hours later I found him sitting on the couch in the dark. I thought he would have stayed with you. We had words."

"Do you know why he did that?" Blaine asks desperately. "I've been trying to figure it out. He said...he said he loved me. Before and...and after. But now I'm wondering if he did that just to try and hurt me like I hurt him."

"No," Burt says firmly. "That wasn't the case. I don't think Kurt would willingly hurt you like that, just like you didn't willingly hurt him. I think he just.... I don't know. I think maybe in that moment he felt like it was right to be with you and then after he...panicked, I guess? He's eighteen, Blaine. I don't think he can make any sense of his thoughts right now, but I made sure to tell him I wasn't proud of his actions."

"I wanted it as much as he did," Blaine counters, "or seemed to, at least. Y'know, I've had hook ups before. With exes, that is. Not that I'd call Kurt my ex- but you know what I mean. But this was different. This wasn't anger, or lust. This was love. We still love each other. And that's why I can't tell anyone. I'm so ashamed."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of," Burt says, clearing his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the topic but knowing Blaine needs to talk this out. "You're both consenting adults and like you said, you both agreed to it."

"But I used him."

"Or allowed yourself to be used, maybe?" Burt offers. "Listen Blaine, you can go over this a million times but all the time you spend analyzing this, is time you could be spending trying to talk to Kurt."

"Do you think he would talk to me?" he asks, and Burt winces at the way in which his whole face lights up with hope. 

"I don't know," comes the honest answer. "He barely talks to anyone right now."

"Is he doing okay?"

"No, Blaine, he's not. He can't settle. Rachel and Santana are at the end of their patience I think. He won't move from his bed or the couch. He shows little interest in exploring the city or meeting new people. His classes start on Monday- classes which Rachel has signed him up for, praying she's made the right choices as he refused to leave the apartment. He cries nearly all night apparently, and it's breaking my heart that he won't just quit and come home right now. I keep trying to explain that he could start properly next semester but he's just not listening." Burt wipes at his eyes as he settles on a stool opposite. "It's killing me. I just wanted all my boys to be happy, and I really thought that was going to be the case. I was worried out of my mind about Finn, but he's the only one who actually is happy. You two are so miserable without each other, Blaine."

"What should I do?" he asks, hopeful that Burt may have the magical answer but he shakes his head sadly.

"I don't know. You won't move to New York, he won't come home... I just don't see when or even how this can be resolved."

*

"So I spoke with Blaine today," Santana tells Rachel as she watches her make dinner. "He's been to visit Burt."

"I don't really care," Rachel retorts, tossing her hair over her shoulder as she walks to the fridge.

"Shut up, Berry. I get he was a dumbass...."

"No," Rachel snaps, pointing the spatula at her menacingly. "You don't get it. Because if you did, he would no longer be your best friend. Do you know how much Kurt is hurting right now?" she hisses, vaguely waving the utensil toward the thin wall, behind which lies Kurt, staring at the ceiling and listening to the traffic roaring by below. 

"Yes I damn well do," Santana snaps back. "I also know that on his last night in Lima, Kurt showed up at the coffee shop and begged Blaine to take him to bed." She smiles smugly at the look of horror on Rachel's face. 

"He- he what?"

"That's not all. He ran out on him in the middle of the night and hasn't contacted him since. Blaine knows he was a jerk, but did he really deserve that?"

"But, but," Rachel flusters, "but if he was that concerned, why isn't he calling him constantly, begging to talk? Huh?"

"Rach, he calls Kurt's phone about twenty times a day. He hasn't called either of us because he doesn't think it would be fair to put us in that situation. But believe me, he's hurting too."

"I brought you some dinner," Rachel says thirty minutes later as she walks into Kurt's room.

"I'm not hungry."

"I think I'm past listening or caring," she says as she climbs onto the bed and forces a plate onto his lap.

"Two weeks of living with Santana and already you're a bitch."

"No, one week of living with you and I'm getting pretty darn fed up of your behavior," she corrects. "Why didn't you tell me you hooked up with Blaine again?"

"Oh god," Kurt groans as he twirls spaghetti around his fork. "Let me guess, he's gone bragging to Santana."

"Blaine would never do that," Rachel says, surprising herself with how vehemently she defends him. "He told her very reluctantly because he spoke with your dad today."

"Great," Kurt mutters with his mouthful.

"He's trying to make sense of it, as we all are," she tells him. "Why did you run out on him, Kurt? Did you really think that by sleeping with him you'd feel better? Like you'd gotten some kind of revenge?"

"No!" Kurt cries. "God, no. That was never my intention at all." He digs his hands into his eyes as he tries to focus his thoughts. "This is all so messed up, Rach. I don't even know what made me go there in the first place but there he was, pouring his heart into the most poignant and sad song, just for me and... And it's still there. The spark, the pull, the connection. The next thing I know I'm asking him to take me home."

"A quick fu...well, you know...encounter, is never going to solve anything."

"It wasn't though. I asked him to make love to me and he did. It was...it was beautiful. We were together. Two halves of a whole once more."

"So?"

"So we drifted to sleep and when I woke an hour or so later I looked at him there and I thought it would be so easy to make this okay again... Except it wouldn't be. Because I wouldn't be able to keep from asking him to visit, or move here. He wouldn't be able to agree and...I don't know. I wasn't thinking straight I guess and I just ran out."

"And now?"

"And now I'm just as miserable as I ever was," he says as he wipes away tears. "And I'm constantly wondering if I should call him, or if I should just go home like my dad keeps saying."

"Wanna know what I think?"

"Not really, but you'll tell me anyway," he says with a smile.

"I think that firstly, without even noticing, you've eaten all your dinner," she smiles as Kurt looks down at his plate in amazement. "I also think that right now, it's still raw. Give yourself a week or so. Start your classes, get out a little and meet some of the others on the course. See how general living feels. If that hole is still there, then you know he's the only one who can fill it." 

*

"Fuck it!" Blaine yells a few days later.

Wes jumps in his seat as Blaine slams his hand on the table. 

"I'm calling Rachel."

"What?" Sebastian laughs in disbelief. "That crazy chick?"

"Yes. Kurt won't answer my calls, Santana hardly knows anything because he's worried she'll report back to me... But Rachel does. And I've had it. This has been dragging on for...for..." he pauses, trying to work out exactly how long it has been. 

"Too long," Wes states. 

"Yes!" Blaine says heatedly. "Too fucking long. I love him, and I'm not gonna lose him. I'm done moping, it's time for action." 

"That whole speech would have been classier if you weren't wearing pyjamas with marinara sauce down the front," Sebastian points out.

"Fuck off." But there's a smile playing on Blaine's face as he reaches for his phone.

*

"Please Rachel, let me talk to him."

"No."

"Please. I know you don't like me very much right now...."

"I don't like you at all."

"Okay. But I just really need to talk to Kurt right now."

"No. I mean it Blaine, leave him alone."

"I can't!" he thunders. "I can't! I need him. He needs me. We have to sort this out."

"Sort what out? It's pretty clear to me. You dumped him and broke his heart."

"I never dumped him at all!" Blaine yells, incredulous with rage.

"You sent him to New York on his OWN Blaine. He begged and pleaded with you, but you just abandoned him. I get that the city isn't an easy place for you, I do. But because of you and your selfish actions, he's miserable. He should be enjoying starting college, making new friends, getting to know New York, but instead he's getting drunk and crying then I have to hide his phone so he doesn't call you."

"Well don't hide his phone! I want to talk to him, damn it! And he's drinking? Kurt never drinks."

"Exactly." She sighs heavily. "Look, I have to go. I'm dragging Kurt to a piano bar with me tonight. I'm sorry Blaine, but I really think you should leave us all alone." 

"I can't do that Rachel. I love him too much to just let him go."

"I don't get you Blaine. You spend two and a half years telling anyone who would listen that he is the love of your life. Then as soon as Kurt wants any kind of commitment from you, you break it off."

"It wasn't...we didn't... It's not about commitment," he finally huffs. "Kurt knows I'm completely devoted to him. But honestly? Where would I fit, Rach? I can see it now, me sitting alone in some dingy apartment trying to deal with all the emotions being back in the city brings, while he's trawling piano bars with you and your classmates..."

"He asked you to live with him, you asshole!" she screeches. 

"No he didn't. He asked if I would consider moving to New York."

"With him."

"Yes, but he didn’t mean....” His stomach plummets a million miles as it hits him and he realizes exactly what it was Kurt had wanted all along. “Oh fuck."

"I was supposed to be living with Santana. Kurt came to us, so upset and begged us to let him move in too. It was always his plan," she says, voice softer now. "He used to tell us all the time that he was going to convince you to move to New York, and how you'd have a tiny little apartment and it would be really cramped because of all your music stuff, but that wouldn't matter because it would be your first place together."

"Rachel..." comes the anguished wail. 

“It makes no difference now, Blaine. Just leave him be. You were so keen for him to have his own adventure, well now let him live it. Do not call him again."

"Hey," Rachel says with forced brightness when Kurt enters the room. His eyes are red rimmed, as they seem to be so often nowadays, and his skin sallow and pale. 

"Who were you talking to?"

"Oh...um...just someone from my dance class," she says, waving her phone half heartedly. "So...you all set?" 

"I guess so."

"What are you going to sing tonight?" She asks, linking her arm through his as they leave the apartment.

"Oh, something bitter and twisted about unrequited love and painful breakups probably."

"I thought you said you hadn't broken up?"

Kurt shrugs. "I've not heard from him in two weeks. He's given up fighting for me. I'd say that constitutes a break up." He smiles, though his eyes swim with tears. "Come on. Lets go force my misery on others." 

Another two weeks pass, and with each day that goes by Kurt’s pain and hurt goes deeper. Blaine gives up calling but begins a daily bombardment of text messages instead, which Kurt reads but never replies to. He’s not sure how long it would take for him to give an honest answer to ‘Are you okay?’ anyway. It is Friday again, and Kurt cries as he dresses to go to the bar, thinking of Blaine back in Westerville, and all the times he would lean over his shoulder to tie Blaine’s bowtie for him, both smiling at one another in the mirror. Still, tonight, for the first time in so long, Kurt feels a sense of peace and inner calm that he's been unable to capture for so long. He forces a smile at his reflection, knowing that eventually, at some point in the future, that smile will be genuine.   
Stepping up to the microphone, he squints into the lights to try and see Santana and Rachel but it’s too bright and he can only see shadows. The music starts and he pours his ripped, wounded and aching heart into it, hitting every note, meaning every word as his path ahead unfolds before him. 

"Like the sound of silence calling,  
I hear your voice and suddenly  
I'm falling, lost in a dream.  
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,  
You say those words and my heart stops beating.  
I wonder what it means.  
What could it be that comes over me?  
At times I can't move.  
At times I can hardly breathe.

When you say you love me  
The world goes still, so still inside and  
When you say you love me  
For a moment, there's no one else alive

You're the one I've always thought of.  
I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.  
You're where I belong.  
And when you're with me if I close my eyes,  
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly  
For a moment in time.  
Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth ,  
And frozen in time, Oh when you say those words.

When you say you love me  
The world goes still, so still inside and  
When you say you love me  
For a moment, there's no one else alive

And this journey that we're on.  
How far we've come and I celebrate every moment.  
And when you say you love me,  
That's all you have to say.  
I'll always feel this way.

When you say you love me  
The world goes still, so still inside and  
When you say you love me  
In that moment, I know why I'm alive.

When you say you love me.  
Do you know how I love you?"

 

The music ends and he stumbles, blinded by tears toward Santana and Rachel, but strong arms catch him as he trips and he gasps when those familiar golden eyes lock on his. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks, voice thick with emotion. 

“Fighting for you,” Blaine replies simply. He sniffs and wipes at his eyes. “Your voice gets me every time and that song...that song...."

"Was for you," Kurt says as his heart aches with longing. 

The next act starts to sing, Kurt winces at the bad timing and not wanting to raise his voice to continue the conversation, he leads Blaine outside. 

“But I don’t get it,” he says bluntly, arms folded defensively. “I don’t get why you’re here.”

Blaine stares at the sidewalk for a moment, as if gathering the courage he needs to speak, but eventually he looks up. 

"My house is up for rent, my car is loaded with stuff and the rest is in storage. I made a terrible mistake, Kurt and I am so, so sorry. But I love you, my gorgeous boy, and I was wondering if you wanted to maybe put all this behind us and start the rest of our lives together by going apartment hunting tomorrow?"

"You are fighting for me again," Kurt says with a tiny smile. 

"I never stopped. But I was wrong. I told you to move away thinking I was doing right by you, without listening to what you wanted, or what you were really asking. I should have asked you for help in overcoming all my fears but I didn't, I let them rule me, and us, and our future. I let them define me. I remember you telling me you only wanted to be defined by our love and, well, it's the same for me. I just hope you can forgive me."

"You wanna live together?"

"Yes. Hell, I would have moved in with you when you were sixteen if your dad wouldn't have eaten me alive." They both laugh through tears at this, and then Kurt is in his arms, where he belongs, where he has always belonged. 

"I love you too, old man."

"Can I crash at yours tonight?"

"You better not even think about going anywhere else," Kurt says then steals his mouth in a kiss so passionate they're left panting for breath when they part. "Let's go."

"Get the drinks, Berry," Santana says, looking out the window at their retreating backs. "We're in for the long haul." 

They walk arm in arm back to Kurt's apartment, silent and happy enough to cast shy glances at one another. Once inside however, Kurt turns to Blaine as they sit on the couch.

"Why? What made you change your mind? You had decided. All those times I begged, pleaded with you to reconsider and you wouldn't. Why now?"

"You," Blaine replies simply. "It wasn't any one thing. A collection of things people have said to me I guess, and this continual sick feeling that just wouldn't go away- which I knew would disappear as soon as we were together again. I just can't live without you, Kurt. That's it. And I suddenly realized how dumb I was being about it all. I talked with Wes....months ago, when you had just applied. He mentioned it had been Luke's anniversary- and I hadn't even noticed. That played on my mind a lot. I felt guilty at first for not remembering, not thinking about him as often as I thought I should. But then.... You know, if I think back to how he was...before all the crap....he would want me to be happy. And he wouldn't want me wasting my life over feelings of guilt that I don't think he ever would have wanted me to have. I will always feel sad over what happened, but it can't rule my life. I love you. You are the first man I have ever loved, and you will be the last. If I can't rise above the feelings I have for a place, just to be in your arms, then I don't deserve you. So I'm here. And here I will stay, for as long as you want to be here. But you have to know this, Kurt. I'm here just as much for me as I am for you, okay? I haven't come just to appease your stubbornness, I'm here because I firmly believe we have a future together. Don't go lamenting over all that I said."

"I know Blaine, and you know I want to be with you for the rest of our lives. But...."

"No." Blaine's tone is firm, resolute as he begins to pace back and forth in agitation. "I know it's New York and all that, but I'll get over it, I really will. We'll find a cute little apartment and make it our first home together. We..."

"Blaine..."

"No Kurt, listen to me. I'm..."

"BLAINE!" Kurt smiles as Blaine stops pacing and stares at him in surprise. "Thank you," he says in a quieter tone. "We will find a cute little apartment together and make it our home..... But not here." Taking a deep breath he looks Blaine in the eye. "I transferred to Chicago College of Perfoming Arts today."

Blaine stares, really stares, for a long time as Kurt stands nervously wringing his hands and chewing his lip.

"You- you.... Why?"

"You're not the only one who can fight for us," Kurt says with a small shrug. "It's our magical city."

"But New York, your dreams..."

"I've told you before. My dream is you," Kurt says softly. "Blaine...I am overwhelmed that you are prepared to do this for us. And if I didn't already know, it shows me how much you love me and how much you want us to work, so thank you. But I'm not happy here. And furthermore, I'm not going to be happy if you're here either. This isn't right for us. I don't want to be constantly wondering if you're truly okay, or if it's all eating away at you inside. And I don't want you to end up resenting me because we moved here. You told me the building doesn't matter, it's the people who live there who make it a home, right? Well it's the same with cities. I don't give a damn where I graduate from, as long as you're there with me. There are other courses, other colleges, other cities, but there will never be another you. I can't be without you, it's simply not an option. But Chicago... It's always been so perfect for us. Good things happen for us there, we both love the place and feel happy there, and I see no reason why that shouldn't continue." 

"I'm gonna cry," Blaine whispers as he sits down hard on a kitchen chair. 

"You always cry," Kurt says indulgently as he kneels between his legs. "So... The question is, Blaine Anderson, will you move to Chicago with me?"

"Are you completely sure this is what you want?"

"Yes." Kurt nods firmly.

"You can be happy there? Happy with the course?"

"It's practically identical."

"You don't mind that it's not New York?"

"You know most people just give a simple yes or no answer, Blaine," Kurt teases lightly. "But no, I don't mind at all. Chicago is awesome."

"Then... On a promise that from this day forth we always talk about our worries with each other.... Yes."

"Yes?" Kurt squeaks excitedly. 

"Yes," Blaine laughs as he pulls Kurt to his feet and twirls him around before kissing him deeply.

"And we won't mess this up again, right?" Kurt says as he nuzzles their faces together.

"Not a chance. This is it now Kurt. This is our future."

"I love you, my darling old man," Kurt grins, feeling deliriously happy.

"And I love you too, my gorgeous boy. You have my heart Kurt, I promise. For the rest of my life, I'm all for you."

 

THE END.


End file.
